KIDS ARE FRICKING STUPID V9

was looking through my fourth grade yearbook and found this though i want to be a football this is what happens when you put a penny in a microwave for two minutes don't try this my kitchen is currently in flames and my daddy is shouting life cycle of a bubble wand purchase bubble one for 399 blow bubbles using bubble one to the magical delight of your child child insists that it's their turn and that they can do it themselves hand bubble want a child child instantly pours all contents of bubble wand onto the floor everyone cries for an hour my dad was tired of having to cut the crust off my bread when i was a kid so one day he gives me a pbnj with a crust still on it when i tell him that it's wrong because it has the crust he responds but don't you want to be a good whistler at the time i hadn't learned to whistle yet he went on think about it you don't eat your crust and you can't whistle i do eat my crust and i can whistle i gasp that's true and from that day on i ate my crust and yes i'm a good whistler now when in the car with my daughter she has my phone running spotify we have a game where she plays any song ever and i can guess the artist and title within seconds of listening she believes i'm a musical genius she's unaware the song info is on the little screen behind the wheel deep dark fears my brother told me that if i sneezed and farted at the same time i'd die when i was six it happened so i lay down on the ground and waited for death zoom preschool is both hilarious and depressing my four-year-old keeps unmuting himself and yelling i don't know your name is this meeting over yet when i was two i thought an electrical box was a robot my mom let me take a picture with it and i have come across that picture again i was in a class zoom call when there was a faint thud in the background my teacher appeared off screen for a second calmly remarked well my daughter just ran straight into a wall and continued to tell us about the structure of proteins my daughter was furious that we wouldn't let her keep a handful of coins in her mouth my mother is a university instructor and when i was a kid at night she would tell me go to bed because she had to do some grading i always assumed that she meant grating as in grating cheese so i would go to bed excited for all the cheese i would be getting in the morning i pictured her in the kitchen with just mountains of cheese around her i never got the grated cheese in the morning but i also never questioned the fact that it wasn't there just found out that my son has been telling people i got laid instead of laid off so there's that he wanted to be a mannequin as a father with a six-year-old in e-learning this is real life teacher does anyone have any questions after a language arts class my son promptly and muting himself why are giraffes so tall brah damn your son's asking the real questions almost two-year-old for sale been crying for 10 minutes cause he can't get in the oven with the cornbread entertaining all offers i dropped the toilet paper in the toilet but then i washed it my kid won't eat her eggs because they have dark spots yeah that's the fork i'll let fred watch youtube tutorials to make her bracelets and they all ask to please like and thumbs up and i kid you not every time fred gives my phone screen the most sincere in real life thumbs up while looking intently at the screen amazing sean said the word green when my son was four he saw a commercial that said brushing alone is not enough to prevent cavities and tooth decay so he made us start brushing our teeth with him it's been three years nobody tell him had to text you this as you get a laugh out of it ivy is upset she's on the verge of tears she's sad because she can't watch tv whilst eating her breakfast the tv is on i tell her she starts crying it's spongebob you put it on i continue no luck i can't see it she sobs then look at it i suggest it works oh there's spongebob thank you daddy she smiles she was sat sideways at her table and wasn't turning her head my three-year-old granddaughter playing hide-and-seek [Music] my friend son wrote their cataletta from summer camp dear willow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow love jackson when i was 12 i was obsessively into wicked and i told a girl in my class reading the wizard of oz that it was propaganda when my oldest was five they revamped a playground in our neighborhood one of the new pieces of equipment they put in are these spinning cup things basically they are dished out seat mounted on a bearing that is slightly angled if you sit in them your natural attempt to balance yourself will cause it to keep spinning and usually pick up speed they are hilarious to convince drunk people to sit on so my oldest sees this thing and asks me to put her on it i gave her warning it gets pretty fast let me know if you want off so i put her on it and give it a little twist she's spinning but not crazy fast faster she yells she is maniac on the playground so i'm not surprised i had a bit more spin pushing her foot faster she screams i was like oh hell yeah let's do this i whip her by the foot on the way by at this point she is a blur on top of this thing faster she screams again at this point i was like i legit don't understand how she would want to be going faster and it clicked do you mean slower slower she bellows at the top of her lungs so i stop the thing and she half jumps half falls out she immediately tries to take a step and face plants into the sand and starts crying she was mad at me for the rest of the day for not understanding that faster meant slower it's moments like these that i wish i didn't go all balls out on having children here's penny showing her class something that smells good looks like someone left that kid alone with a sharpie when i was around five years old i was eating homemade spaghetti at my babysitter's house when i found a bay leaf in it i didn't know what a bay leaf was at the time and my five-year-old brain thought it was a leaf from out in the yard and i surmised that the spaghetti must have fallen into the grass and been scooped up i refused to eat there for months after and i wouldn't tell anyone why because i didn't want to hurt the babysitter's feelings a picture i drew in second grade it's a hot mug of coffee and chocolate chip cookies [Music] five or six year old me mum what's your real name michelle me what was your name when you were little michelle it doesn't change when you grow up me mind is blown i love how my seven-year-old nephew spells words come in her it is fun little kids are so creepy example i have a student who kisses me on the arm every day and whispers there now you'll live until tomorrow and one day he didn't kiss me and when he came to school the next morning he looked genuinely surprised to see me alive when i was 11 i put rocks in the microwave because i thought it would melt the rocks into lava atlantis dolphin bay instructor gently kiss the dolphin my nephew here's a dramatic photo of me in fifth grade stuck in a garbage can i freaking hate kids little girl comes to the bar like do you have a bin back there and i hold my hand out like yes darling and she freaking spat her chewing gun in my hand and dipped off where's your freaking mother i want a word you little ant 100 i want 100 dollars but not 100 clean i woke up one night with my huge-eyed four-year-old son staring point blank into my eyes and he then yelled how do horses sleep i got up and we watched some youtube videos of horses sleeping then he went back to bed fyi they sleep on their sides what the frick daniel tiger this is 10 times worse than my kid seeing violence on tv we are setting up our inside beach when i was about three year old my family moved across the country they had movers come to pack everything into the truck and when they were done my mom found me crying in my bedroom she asked what was wrong and through my heavy weeping i pointed out to her that they forgot to pack my walls this was a new pencil for school one hour ago i'm now told the pencil would not sharpen a conversation i overheard between my sister and her friend so you're telling me my parents had shreks yeah yeah they did too give birth to you but how in whispers they hugged under the sheets they held hands too i don't know i'm pretty sure they did i told my kid to label his water bottle for school should have been more specific water bottle when i was a kid i asked my parents what the word pedophile meant and they told me pedophiles are people who like children so the next day when i went to school i kept bragging about my parents being pedophiles i told my brother he can eat half of my grapes [Music] kids are the best man they get all shocked when you figure out they did something wrong like mom how do you know i colored on the table um because you wrote your freaking name on it mom is going to be so happy when she sees the gas tank full six-year-old me was so freaking stupid once my mum told me to watch out for my bouncing ball or it might get lost in the fields what did i do i stared my mom dead in the eye and threw it into the fields on purpose reason why my child is crying the warning label on her car seat is touching her a kid in my class just pulled down his mask to cough why would you do this why even wear a mask if you just take it off when you need to cough just why little cousins prompt was what place do you want to go and visit it can be anywhere in the world sydney i want to go and visit costco because i love the hot dogs there mommy said we can go after i finish my homework costco hot dogs free i tutor math to a student and she was getting bored in our hour-long session she started turning off her camera and muting and pretending not to be able to hear us because she was bored my co-tutor asked her if she could hear her and the student literally said no as she was trying to convince us she couldn't hear us my two-year-old daughter i love her so much when i was five my family had a trash can next to the toilet i pissed in the trash can repeatedly and every time my dad asked i blamed it on the cat that worked until one time he caught me mid-piss and i told him the cat told me to do it what a genius i was my little brother search history lots of diarrhea and vomit followed can you drink bubble bath what happens if you drink bubble bath my tonal hurts i drank bubble bath why is bubble bath strawberry flavor if you can't drink it my kid is crying because he wants seven to be part of the alphabet how here read about on you low so that you can feel better about your day i will keep this short we keep a humidifier in my son's room most of the time last night he apparently didn't think he could make it to the bathroom in time it's all of 10 feet down the hall but somehow did have time to open up the humidifier and pee into it and then turned it on so we woke up this morning to the smell of vaporized pee in the house just spent two hours trying to clean deodorize and detox still gagging a little as i sit here typing this dream big kid when i grow up i want to be an airport i'm a kid don't swear turn on your filter what profanity filter turn it on how are you a kid go to settings hit the more button filter clan chat thanks frick you what did you say it works my sister and i used to rip the heads off of monster high dolls and attach the head to their calves [Music] assistant teacher talking about teacher's birthday today 28 years ago a very special person was born can anyone guess who kid aged 9 benjamin franklin assistant teacher not quite any other guesses kid jesus kid tuck a single bite out of all the apples says that virus detected help please it won't go away i want to play my minecraft it won't work it says that i have to pay six thousand dollars what happened help i want to play my free minecraft my brother woke me up at 5am yelling i made the hulk as a me and then i see this abomination when i was four year old i ran to my dad's german friend and started telling him something in gibberish he asked my dad what i'm saying and my dad said i don't know she's obviously talking german so you tell me i'm a nanny of a three-year-old who had a meltdown i'm talking devastated crying because his brother's car window had bird poop on it and his didn't my nephew aged six was climbing across the back seats in my car to get into his car seat and i could hear what sounded like him starting to choke so i'm panicking thinking he's put a lego in his mouth or something and accidentally swallowed it he eventually sits in the seat properly and i can hear him gasping for air so i ask if he's swallowed something or if he's choking or what and through tiny gasps i hear your castings wow thanks jack when i was a kid i thought these plants were a type of bird so when i was in like first grade i thought for a couple of weeks that i could write in chinese i couldn't i just made random lines and dots on the paper that could only be mistaken for chinese symbols if you've never seen any language with that style of alphabet in your life best part is my classmates were complete freaking idiots and they absolutely believed me and then for some reason i just forgot i could write chinese and stop doing it okay i know it's bubbles but still i like boobles my daughter science app pluto is a dwarf planet my daughter dwarves live on pluto me i should correct her i really should it might come up in class or something my daughter dad pluto has dwarves on it me yes we are playing hide and seek one day while riding the bus to kindergarten i successfully read the emergency exit instructions at the rear emergency exit to open pull handle push window out i was so pleased with myself for having perfectly read and understood them everyone had to know that surely telling wouldn't be enough i'd have to prove it by following them myself there was no other way and that is how the rear emergency exit of a school bus full of five-year-olds opened without warning in morning rush hour traffic on a highway my youngest attempting to charge his copy of lego incredibles in the nintendo dock name each of the following shapes lulu maxwell olivia quinton i'm a teacher and the second paragraph is the best thing a child has ever written miss bear has no time for baby bears nonsense baby bear is staring at the big window he saw a moon can i go to the moon said baby bear no you want said miss bear when i was about five i was playing with the calendar on the wall next to my bed when i somehow managed to rip the page for july clean off i immediately burst into tears because i was legitimately convinced that i had removed the entire month from existence and i had ruined the whole world since that year was going to be 11 months long instead of 12 my mom ran into my room due to my ridiculous wailing and when i told her what happened she began laughing her ass off and proceeded to console me while i sat there angry at her enjoyment and sobbing like a little dumb dumbass i don't need to say much i guess sai he loves pizza as long as i tell him what we are eating is pizza he'll eat it vegetables call it pizza chicken nuggets call it pizza literally anything he screams yay pizza and eats it he's too i tell mine who have decided they don't like fish it's chicken works every time he's getting mad because he wants me to launch my car at the same time but not make them crash he refuses to add any more track [Music] my six-year-old asked me your name i told him his name is brandon his reply i'm gonna call him mike couldn't change his mind you are now mike even if all of them were spelled correctly it wouldn't look like the parent said this mrs clifton ronnie can bring his psp to class all the time he wants to he has my permission i'm his mom and what i say goes ron is mom when is your birthday well i don't know when i was born but i know the year it's september 26th little to me has the right idea what is the purpose of life what is the meaning of our existence as humans fortnite for all the mcdonald's employees what is the funniest way someone had ordered the travis scott burger my friend's dad works there a six-year-old said in the drive-thru with his parents one fortnight black man burger please kermit is never gonna give you up wait this isn't my free v bucks everyone dislike this is a scam when i was little and at the store and i wanted a toy my parents would say we don't have toy money so for a very long time i thought there was a separate currency specifically for toys he does not want me to take his sticker away at least it might absorb the tears dear santa how are you i'm good here is what i want for christmas [Music] toilet the floor and wall my six-year-old son peeing because he wasn't allowed to stick his lightsaber up the dog's butt [Music] instead of just letting us know verbally she woke up from her nap or just yano opening up the crack door she thought she needed to wave at us from under the door until she got our attention failing as a parent is when your daughter exclaims she can't wait for her privates to grow so she can pee like her brother ric who's on the new tick-tock trend x-game mode [Music] curious boy nearly dies after sticking 53 magnetic balls up pain when i was a kid i thought color-blind people can't see colors which means like example they can't see the yellow colors and stupid me shows a yellow object and thinking it's invisible and they can't see it i was that stupid as a kid my sister tried to prank me really good makeup remover please use like the video and subscribe right now and watch my previous tank memes videos thanks

Channel: Clumsy

Views: 1,732,543

Rating: 4.9249568 out of 5

Keywords: memes, dank doodle memes, best memes, dank memes, memes compilation, dank memes compilation, best memes compilation, clean memes, ddm, tik tok memes, memes clean, reddit memes, pewdiepie memes, family friendly memes

Id: KpB2YsiD5M4

Length: 20min 16sec (1216 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 05 2020