KIDS ARE FRICKING STUPID V15

four mom how long was dad inside you me four mom me what the f for well how long was he inside you before you had him me oh honey no i didn't birth your dad grandma did we crack the code two potty training our daughter spiderman underwear it took her picking out her own spiderman underwear to completely potty train herself she won't have an accident because she can't go potty on spiderman i can't believe that's all it took long if i lived in a castle i would be the jainter my name would be dash it would be my job to clean and do magic i would look like i hate my job my nephew wanted a portrait of george washington thank goodness he didn't want a portrait of ben franklin bought a costco sheet cake because i figured we could use some cheer around here toddler completely freaked out demanding to know whose birthday it was i explained you can just buy a cake when you want if you're grown up etc long back and forth eventually agreed it's my birthday so jude bought a cat for her daughter so that she could stop playing with her phone and this is the result my son just asked me if i could take a picture of him while he sleeps so he could see the little z's that come out of your nose when you sleep my sister saw two unaccompanied little children in a trench coat giggling amongst themselves yesterday and i'm absolutely howling when i was five my grandpa took me to a local arcade that also had a huge ball pit near the ball pit i saw a muslim woman and i had never seen one before so i asked are you a ninja and she surprisingly answered yes i'll laugh my ass off at it to this day four year old can we get a kitten me i'm allergic we can't be in the same house four you could sleep outside for someone i've had too physically restrained from eating dog shoes my son is awfully particular about which grapes he's going to eat dear dire today i learned my first curse word beach dear diary beach dear diary i just learned the f word it is frick i just learned the f word it is frick a legend dear deary beach i was an idiot when i was young like five or six couldn't figure out how to do those heart eyes from the cartoons i asked like 10 people and they had no idea what i was talking about i tried everything like tending my eyes or something and holding cookie cutters in the shape of hearts to my eyes couldn't figure it out until i pointed it out in a show when i was with my mom and she told me it was a rare genetic thing and i believed that she was for a year until i asked my science teacher loved the age where you could look up paranormal stuff and have no gauge of what's real fake so you're just like oh my god a ghost caught on tape and no one is talking about this 10 year old me after seeing the grainy yes picture imaginable of a figure in a cemetery this girl who found out this hat fit too tight yesterday the 10 year old and i went through his clothing to get rid of what doesn't fit guess what else kids can keep in their drawers half empty cartons of expired milk we discovered it when my son pulled the drawer out and the carton burst and it was like a shiz bomb had gone off that one time when i was a rookie parent and said sure you can play with packing peanuts bows of life i'll never get back hashtag parenting fail today we asked my three-year-old cousin how much he weighs and he said ah like 50 squirrels it's a miracle my wife made it to adulthood when she was a child she used to see how long she could stare directly into the sun to see if she could go blind philosophical questions from a three-year-old is the animal i'm eating dead yes eyes widen is it going to be dead forever yes eyes get even wider jaw drops my five-year-old said she needed to wear this because it will block the sun from her eyes while coloring my cousin just posted this picture of his son look how excited and proud he is of where he put all the carrots i'm cracking up [Music] my little sister made a ram mermaid i hate this house one of the kids ate my wing and tried to replace that shoes things my fourth grader searched for on his chromebook this week at school what to do if a giraffe eats you when is squirrel appreciation day help imminent tsunami what this how to lava proof my house in real life so my mom is shopping in a supermarket wearing a full hijabandjelbab commonly misnamed as a burka and the whole time she is there this kid is staring at her won't stop staring just looking with wide-eyed shock the little fella isn't any older than four she doesn't think much of it she is used too far worse than just a few stairs until the very end when the kid and his mom are behind her in the checkout and he leans up and whispers loudly i love you batman my son wrote this on my arm while i was taking a nap i'm his father [Music] my mom should have just let me die via natural selection when i was about eight to nine growing up in florida i was obsessed with warm cars like after the car had been sitting in the parking lot or driveway all day i loved getting in there especially when it was 100 degrees fahrenheit outside i would beg her to let me sleep in there all the time she never let me so i'm still here i guess when i was in sixth grade my social studies teacher was trying to illustrate to us how bad the people of north korea have it and how we should take an interest in humanitarian efforts for them and other countries under dictatorships at one point he said the people of north korea are starving literally eating the bark off of the trees i raised my hand and asked why the u.s doesn't send millions of pounds of tree bark to north korea and that pissed my teacher off pretty good when i was a kid i would often go with my two aunts to their job during the day they worked at a hotel while they were cleaning rooms i would often play around the building as long as they could see me i just learned to read at the time and i noticed the fire lane markers along with the sign on one side of the hotel i knew they kept a lighter in their cleaning carts so i swiped it and went back to the far lane i gathered a bunch of pine straw and mulch by the kerb of the fire lane walked back to the marked curb and started a fire as i was watching the fire burn i felt a swift and powerful slap on the back of my head one of my aunts screamed what the hell are you doing unfazed by the slap on my head i turned around looked at my aunt then the marker than the sign and said with every bit of confidence it's a freaking fire lane she then replies that's for fire trucks you dumb ass so that's why i don't believe everything i read anymore this kid called his mom his wife because that's what he hears his dad call her so at school he said his wife was picking him up that day and whenever she got there i asked her if she knows him she said she is his mother so i instantly thought your wife is your mother me pick up your toys six year old picks up a toy and sets it back down me i meant pick it up and put it away six i'm not a mind reader overheard yesterday cashier all right you kids enjoy your spring break kid want a kid too shocked whisper how does she know about spring break ohio boy chooses buffalo pizza over nintendo switch for 10th birthday present and ohio boy said buffalo pizza is the best present of all my girlfriend was explaining to her five-year-old daughter that i'm a beekeeper and the honey we were eating was made by my beef friends daughter what are the bee friends names i can't stop laughing took the kids to the zoo on the way home we asked the two-year-old which animal was his favorite and he answered reverently the escalator so i was walking out of a theme park and i heard a family talking about having a movie night and i heard this mother we are getting sweets for movie night okay little girl but i don't want movie night mother okay then no movie night for you little girl but why mother because you don't want one little girl makes angry noises i wasn't old enough to bake cookies so i chew up bread form it into a cookie put pb and sprinkles on top and sell them to my friends for a quarter i finally told one of them the recipe and felt so bad i gave her a plateful for free she ate them anyway clearly this kid is going places lemonade regular 25 cents organic three dollars grass fed plus organic six dollars so my mom called my older brother by one-fifth because he did his test with four other people and still got not a good grade so we call him one fifth of the brain the my little brother tried to say he was better and happily exclaimed i'm one sixth of a brain thinking that was more never let go of your dreams benny when i grow up i want to be harper a mommy henry a daddy of the house brayden i want to be a teacher gianna i want to be a mommy arden a baker landon i want to be a police officer jason a pilot madison a doctor to make everyone feel better benny attacko when i was little i used to watch yeti investigation movies with my dad and to keep me from being scared he said that he was a yeti as well and as i could see he was very friendly i took it seriously and when he went out at nights to work out at the local gym i thought he went to a super secret yeti meeting i found three naked rolling around in a bulk-sized bottle of baby powder when i asked her what are you doing she proudly responded look mommy i'm a fried chicken take a wild guess about what happened if i found a pot of gold i would choose i got lost in a big mall in belgium when i was about four my parents went and unlocked my car door thinking i'd get in and wait for them well i actually did figure out i should go back to the car and make sure my parents hadn't left them all when i got there i found my door unlocked and my genius four-year-old brain thought oh no first i got lost and now i left my car door unlocked i'm going to be in so much trouble so i locked the door and then went back to the mall to look for my parents madison's eaten 3 4 of a chicken and cheese quesadilla the last one fourth she realizes it has chicken and cheese and isn't a pancake she flies into a fit of crying and screaming that i lied and broke her little baby heart i literally never freaking said it was a pancake but go off my child went to our day camp today one project was to make a new superhero this is what my child made janet cuts people in half with giant scissors she's a hero only to herself me on a work conference call hi everyone thank you for joining sorry about the background noise seven-year-old from behind me can you just turn off the background noise me yes by you being quiet you are the background noise sorry about that everyone so how is everything progressing seven year old fine me not you so were you able to get the men you signed this seven year old morning i found this old pokemon card i got when i was a younger turns out i literally drew a card [Music] up until i was nine years old i thought people coughed in different languages i'm glad the three-year-old next door gave my car racing stripes the added sharpie has increased the speed of my car tenfold as a child i was super dumb like you could ask me hey what's your favorite color and i'd say hulk or something so anyhow as a child i was in kindergarten and one of my kid friends asked me to reach into his mouth and drip out his tooth and so i did exactly that he was great for laughter but the teacher was like what the hell she just saw the new dentist kid rip out another kid's tooth right out of his mouth my parents had nothing to say all they said was why and i said because he asked me and my parents still haven't forgotten this yet i told my aunt her kids were smoking so when i was around five to six years old i knew weed my parents brought it up for some reason i don't know and i knew it was bad illegal thing you can eat so when i was at a family gathering i saw my mom's teen relatives 15 to 16 i think eating sugar cane sucking the sugar then spitting a fiber-like thing and i've never seen sugar came before and i didn't know people can eat it like that so i ran upstairs to their mom and i said until your kids are eating weed lay concrete in your backyard they said what could go wrong they said me laying on the couch toddler dad i didn't go pp anywhere i want you to know i didn't me getting off the couch stupid child efficiency mop stupid child wipe high efficiently while my sees brexit thanksgiving about getting her phd in quantitative microbiology i'm gonna be thinking about this time we took a bath together i was too she was five i pooped in the tub and she played with it because she thought it was brown play-doh not so smart then were yellow my little brother who is six asked me to chop his carrots up so he can swallow them easier when i asked why he said he swallows them whole and said he does not like carrots cause they hurt his throat and get stuck chinese firemen expand the gap between two pillars to free trapped boy eating a straw so turtles don't have to when i was a toddler i used to play this game where my mom would blow bubbles and i would chase them and eat them by popping them with a munch but we had to stop playing it after i got carried away in the euphoria of bubble eating and i grabbed the whole bubble bottle out of her hands and chugged it also following this incident my mom put mr yuck stickers on everything that i should not eat to ensure that i don't do anything like that again didn't work so now i have a really weird specific nostalgia for mr yuck because like he was all around my house you know he was a friend like you know how most people see characters from like my little pony or we need the poo and they remind them of their childhood and make them feel joy for me that was mr yuck pictured my best friend at h2 when i was maybe 11 or 12 i saw my first shrek scene in a movie and was completely confused the day after i asked my mom what they did with the babies after the actors had shreks and got pregnant for the movies toddler nearly died after eating seagull poo in garden one time i was seven and tried to hide my diary key in the electrical outlet i keep my secrets to myself now wasn't rich as a kid but i wanted to be a hobo for halloween in first grade i just want everyone to know that my two-year-old insisted on being pants for halloween i told her no then i opened the computer later how to persuade your parents to get you a bunny three-year-old in bathroom mommy can i put this sticker on daddy's card me in bed yes three-year-old will he love it me yes my brother and his wife left a shopping list and attended their six-year-old son got to it and kids bread our bread maggots milk can pears yogurt milk butter mini wheats special k red berries butts but but but but but farts farts butts oh no somebody farted and pooped and pooped and somebody stuck their butt into the toilet when i was five i stuck beads up my nose to be like the big kids who had piercings which had to be surgically removed a week later pierced my nose with a staple gun more surgery used permanent markers to cover myself into twos to go with my super cool pierced nose me why are these legos all over the floor five to keep everyone else away it's my computer turn brilliant this was back when i was like six or seven i didn't want to do my homework so i was just fidgeting around while sitting in front of my mom's desk being a stupid kid i suddenly thought it was a great idea to slowly let out my p and unsurprisingly i eventually pissed myself and soaked my mom's chair in piss hi my son is still banned and he is not supposed to be it's time for his suspension to be over and it's not on toontown please unban him as soon as possible thank you mom how do i explain to my brother that him getting struck by lightning won't turn him into pikachu ah just tell him the laws of nature instruct that a lightning bolt directly to the body has a 85 chance to kill and if you survive there is almost always permanent lightning scars okay he still doesn't believe me tell him to try it and see for himself am what you're doing there to me kids always ask stupid questions like why is the sky blue man i don't know maybe god is a leave me the frick alone someone's kid just walked into the store i work at threw a dandelion on the floor and left my seven-year-old brother told us that he wasn't eating toast on his bed [Music] she insisted on a band-aid after bumping her head best i could do [Music] my seven-year-old brother wrote this i hat you i hat you i hat you when i was a kid i thought that if you borrowed money from someone you had to give back the same coins and banknotes they gave you every time i borrowed money from someone to buy something i realized i couldn't give back the same banknotes so i gave them back immediately me and my brother liked climbing trees when we were little but we weren't good at it at all one day we were reading about bats with our mom we saw an image of one hanging upside down from a branch and my stupid ass got an idea after that me and my bro went out into our backyard where we had a humongous walnut tree we climbed it and i was the first to hang upside down i somehow managed to stay in that position for a bit using only my feet after about 10 seconds my brother told me to get down because that seems dangerous so i just let go and fell on my stupid head fortunately it wasn't a big fall so i just got up and waddled inside in shame and dizziness lmao my baby sister's bag [Music] my cousin and i were at a firehouse breakfast with santa and santa was giving out candy canes my cousin got a candy cane and saw that it was broken and started crying santa gave her another one which also broke she started crying again after the fourth candy cane she finally got one that wasn't broken after getting it she opened it broke a piece off and ate it the enjoyment of being a mommy on the school run quickly disappeared when my darling daughter walked out of school proudly clutching her dvd imagine the horror on my face when i notice it is zor 3 the extreme edition i caught my brother 6 year old standing in front of his window naked i said stop showing the neighbors your peen and he turned around and said i'm not i don't know those people hi today at playtime child and another child decided to pull their trousers and pants down and wiggle their bottoms by the window of another class we spoke about that being unacceptable at school and they apologize to the other teacher too like the video and subscribe right now and watch my previous tank memes videos thanks

Channel: Clumsy

Views: 562,620

Keywords: memes, dank doodle memes, best memes, dank memes, memes compilation, dank memes compilation, best memes compilation, clean memes, ddm, tik tok memes, memes clean, reddit memes, pewdiepie memes, family friendly memes, funny memes

Id: fyBqmRT4iyE

Length: 21min 7sec (1267 seconds)

Published: Tue May 04 2021