KIDS ARE FRICKING STUPID V16

i was knitting on the subway and a four-year-old girl sitting next to me asked about my meeting and i told her i always knit on the subway and she said so you sleep here then she licked the subway window and said everyone is afraid of something my four-year-old brother told me he was scared to grow up and cried for like 10 minutes straight finally i asked why he was so scared and he said he was scared of drinking coffee coffee if you ever feel dumb just know that when my friend was 14 she went to a psychiatrist because she had a voice in her head it was her brain like literally just her thoughts she thought that she was the only person who had the ability to think for 14 years little brother aged six found a needle on the ground while at school today teachers found him moments before he gave himself the vaccine army trainee hijacked school bus full of children released the kids after getting frustrated with all their questions so evidently our 13 year old thought primadonna meant anyone before madonna i.e prima donna please send oxygen we cannot stop laughing us two four year old you know mommy and mama are gay right four year old yes i know us okay what does gay mean four year old very very old it has been zero days since my six-year-old used a black permanent marker to write her name on a brand new piece of white furniture wrangled all the seats put of the minivan got 30 seconds into my vacuuming when suddenly it shuts off and the kid starts crying kid was fine by the way in case you're wondering how homeschooling is going my six-year-old asked me if snakes have long necks or long tails please help he met iron man out of costume what is something extremely irrational but innocent that you believed as a kid so when i was a kid i thought the world was real life black and white in the old days when color tv was invented i assumed that's also when the world became color too i thought everybody had their own individual birthday like it was 365 people on earth i went to six flags when i was six and saw this girl celebrating her birthday and was like her birthday gotta be this weekend because mine is today it's nice she get to celebrate early though the polar express hot chocolate scene i used to think this movie was live action and that people who lived in europe looked like this what the frick on the left is a picture of my nana enjoying venice before she had kids on the right is a picture in the same location a few years later where she is desperately trying to stop my toddler aged father from publicly executing a pigeon this kid has big dreams when i grow up i want to get a hat and put it on taser at the park so just a heads up two parents in the neighborhood there is a girl at the park with a taser offering to taste other kids kid wanted to take a photo with the dancing turtles at the zoo a few years ago i was 10 and my sister was 11 at the time i went into the kitchen to find my sister making toast i took some water from the fridge and as i'm about to leave i spot my sister hovering a table knife just above the toaster so i asked her what she was doing and she tells me the toast is stuck in the toaster and she's just trying to get it out i say dumb ways to die sister's name dumb ways to die referencing the part of the video where they mention sticking a fork in a toaster she looks at me completely serious and says but it's not a fork when i was a kid probably six or seven i would see hotels in my city and think why do we need hotels here we live here so why do we have hotels in our own city she thought this was whitewater my toddler is walking around the house saying oh no over andover at first it was cute but now i'm afraid she knows something i don't you know what's wild remembering that children hear things for the first time without context and are literally like what i just said see you later alligator to a four-year-old and i think it was the first time they had ever heard that they froze in their tracks looked at me completely bewildered then replied see you later chicken and kept walking my friend's four-year-old put on a backyard puppet show for me the sole audience member halfway through the show she asked me if i liked it and i replied i can't wait to see what happens next i'm on the edge of my seat hearing this she carefully put down her puppets came over to where i was sitting and explained you can use the whole seat it's more comfy when i was six i named my animal crossing character shreks and i couldn't change it back so panicked went outside the next day and smashed the game card with a hammer i have lived with this my whole life my brother's friend came round to dinner once when they were about seven years old he sat across from us at the dinner table and proudly told us all that his mom was a prostitute had always been a prostitute and would always be one later analysis determined he meant protestant meanwhile on belgian tv i've been on that big bouncy castle i've been playing with my friends on the bouncy castles pretty much everything it's been super fun i think it's more fun to play outside than to be inside the house all day reporter what are you gonna do the rest of the day boy ah i'm definitely gonna i'm going to i'm gonna punch a kid ann was too high to help her sister i had to work overnight last night and while taking a nap today i was vandalized i have a picture and have detained two suspects but one is not cooperating the only one who can speak blames it on the full-legged suspect who has no hands to pull off such a stunt thanks to my name before pointing out that i have marker all over my face when i took the full-legged suspect for a walk before i realized that i was vandalized so my four-year-old nephew asked me to draw him harry potter he then excitedly shouted i'll do the legs [Music] i hate this house one of the kids ate my wing and tried to replace that shiz kelsey students were supposed to write cards to the nursing home and these are so bad but funny are you smart are you flexible are you happy did you have a good life are you sick are you blind are you deaf we feel bad for you screaming every saturday i tried really hard to beat this computer game so that my family could win 1 million dollars when i was a kid he finished his cheese stick when i opened another one he flipped out because it wasn't a new one he wanted he wanted his old one back that he already ate things my three-year-old cried about today my hands did not make a sound like a bridge when he rolled his toy across them he couldn't keep the sleeves on but take the jacket off the dog refused to eat the handful of sand it was given i bought my son a book about bad sand halfway through it he shouted out what bats are real all this time he thought they were made up for halloween like ghosts and witches i'm sorry blake this is awkward but that's not a police car you vaped in front of a water service vehicle omg i just joined my nephew's ig live and he goes that's my gay uncle everyone i don't know why he feels the need to tell everyone that constantly lol my niece who i treated nicely in the three hours she stayed decided that doing this to me was a good idea [Music] how can my brother lose to my heavily pregnant mom in a swimming race and then cry that it wasn't fair because it's too against one asked my son to box up his leftover mac and cheese at the restaurant and he put the entire bowl in there and i'm not sure if he's an idiot or a genius so i went into my sister's bedroom and saw this on her wall the more i kept looking at it the more hysterical i got [Music] a dumb conversation with my nephew my sister came to visit me and she brang her to kids her son was about three or four and he asked me to use the bathroom i showed him where and he spends almost half an hour in there i asked him if he was okay he opens the door and tells me he doesn't want to flush the toilet because he will miss his poop and that he doesn't want it to go i tell him that you will make another poop and explain to him that poop has to go in order to make new poop i then proceeded to flush and he bursts into tears what a day my son got mad at me yesterday and opened all the bananas in the house what type of passive aggressive monster when i was little i thought shreks was just kissing while you were naked and one time when i got out of the shower i kissed my cat on the head and then i remembered i was naked and ran downstairs crying saying that i had shreks with the cat you should have seen my mom's face eight-year-old mom will you put ketchup on my hot dog me you're old enough to do it yourself eight-year-old dear santa how are you i'm good here is what i want for christmas me you have school tomorrow nine year old real school or school with you me school with me is real school nine real teachers no math he wants to get on the bus the bus on the tv my nephew pulled a bowl of flour off the counter if you could travel to anywhere in the world where would you go dairy queen my two-year-old picking up a stick in the park my d me stick baby it's a stick two-year-old my d random strangers passing by two-year-old you look my d and this is why we can't go anywhere toddler was asked to feed the cat you make best pizza you help tuck me in you have a good job you pay your taxes you make great radioli how old are you bringing out the grammar my mom said i can't tell strangers that my birthday is july 22nd 2010. today my eight-year-old son said what if the tooth fairy was real and she was collecting the teeth to build an army of teeth people one of my kindergarten students drew a t-rex today i found a 90s phone that has a hashtag button on it i thought twitter invented hashtags my mom was going through a box of her old stuff and she found one of those bulky phones that are from the 90s and it has a hashtag button like for elite has hashtag on it like twitter wasn't even invented yet so why did they need hashtag buttons what's the dumbest shiz you ever did as a kid my shining moment was when i was like four i put floaters on my feet and jumped into a pool thinking i'd walk on water i almost drowned my two older children were trying to lay out all of their pokemon cards but the youngest kept intervening so they duct-taped him to a chair [Music] hi my name is i would make a good class president because i will give you no homework and no school table of contents parts of a chicken one where chickens live too what chickens eat three a chicken's life cycle four interesting fricks five my daughter just put ice in my flaming hots to cool them down blown is an understatement when i was in the third grade my mom asked me to go outside in the snow and pre-heat the car i'd never done such a thing and seeing the snowflake button figured that's the button you press in the winter instead of warming our car i freaking blasted the ac in sub-zero temps needless to say it was a miserably drive to school you're killing her [Music] nine-year-old went door to door giving away his parents savings to strangers my five-year-old nephew asked how long my newborn needed to charge before he could go home it's a heart rate monitor told my six-year-old his shoes were on the wrong feet after a very long pause he said i don't have any other feet hashtag my kid is weird package left front door your camera thinks it saw a package delivered toddler left looking like pennywise after putting hair removal cream on her head fun fact as a kid i made a custom shirt by taping a piece of paper to a normal shirt i didn't know what to put so i just rode my shirt i didn't know there was an rn shirt so i just rode my shoes i love weed and i'm only 10. you are so young that's against the law why do you do that i'm a savage i told my brother he can eat half my grapes these best friends got the same haircut to trick their teacher so she wouldn't be able to tell them apart [Music] this mother is about to resort to violence my son lost his cello a cello a whole cello which is as big as he is do you know how big a cello is how do you lose a cello i need answers i don't understand what's happening my daughter was furious that we wouldn't let her keep a handful of coins in her mouth [Music] my sister just sold me a five dollar bag of candy for a penny because coins are shiny so they are worth more i noticed she was chewing on a small plastic disc it was a lens of her sunglasses 10 months and she decided to be a hipster [Music] boy aged 4 accidentally buys 2.6 k dollars worth of spongebob popsicles on amazon what would you do if your five-year-old drew on your 2 000 channel dumbest rumor you've ever heard of yourself so when i was in middle school people said that i was homeschooled even though i went to school i can't be the only one who thought after you flushed on an airplane it would all fall on someone's house right my brother just called sign language hand spanish my mom had a baby after what i thought was a stomachache so every time i had a stomachache i'd walk around hold my stomach and repeatedly moan i'm having a baby or i'm having a baby i was three my fiance and her siblings and i were in the pool earlier today the nine-year-old was chasing the three-year-old around pretending to be a shark and instead of the jaws theme he was humming the theme song for pink panther she doesn't know it's a statue she just wants to help megan fox naked look troll face google search madison's eaten three-fourths of a chicken and cheese quesadilla the last quarter she realizes it has chicken and cheese and isn't a pancake she flies into a fit of crying and screaming that i lied and broke her little baby heart i literally never freaking said it was a pancake but go off when i was little i would put my straw rappers in a little divot on the car door handle whenever we picked up food it would always be gone the next day i dead seriously thought there was a car fairy that came at night to pick up trash in the car who may or may not have been the tooth fairy sister it never once occurred to me that maybe my parents threw it away later one day it just stopped happening and i thought the car fairy had died i was inconsolable when my niece was little she called tampons cramps all she knew was that sometimes girls went into the bathroom with this mysterious object and complained about cramps every time she entered a bathroom she would yell do you need a cramp so she could be heard through the door this was particularly confusing in public restrooms i can only imagine the other women wondering why a small child is threatening them very loudly with cramps toddlers are crazy they do things you'd never thought would happen today a line i never thought i'd ever say to someone dude stop attacking your bean he thought it was funny the kid that drew this didn't know that hitler was the opposite of a communist i present this awesome mother's day gift from my dear husband to his mother when he was a kid dear mom you're pretty cool rad and awesome your son tim when i was a kid my family were staying at a hotel and i pooped under the table and blamed it on the dog we didn't have a dog that's not how it works [Music] me as a child at a roller rink wearing knee pads and elbow pads but apparently no roller blades or shoes he thought that if he colored himself green he would grow into the incredible hulk had to text you this as you'd get a laugh out of it ivy is upset she's on the verge of tears she's sad because she can't watch tv whilst eating her breakfast the tv is on i tell her she starts crying it's spongebob you put it on i continue no luck i can't see it she sobs then look at it i suggest it works oh there's spongebob thank you daddy she smiles she was sat sideways at her table and wasn't turning her head he'll have no fury like a toddler wants to do it herself three hours later i'm still waiting for her to get out of the car just asked if i'd cook some steak for the neighborhood cat when i was little i loved how to train your dragon and i hated dragon ball because i thought it was a rip-off no one wear a mask on the last day of school keep reposting my seven-year-old son's brilliant way to never lose the only key he has for this lock how to treat a sore throat my mom is as beautiful as a dog me move to the left me that's not your left six-year-old oh i didn't know my left because i'm not wearing my watch what happens when you let your cousin play roblox on your pc freak me bought it yesterday [Music] get breast go to school how to cook a turkey put in sour patch kids cook the turkey on the stove for 60 minutes take the turkey's temperature it should be 50 degrees fahrenheit put cookies in turkey eat the sour turkey when i was about 9 years old i got mad at my mom and took a shower with my clothes on i wouldn't let david electrocute himself so i'm the a-hole my kid won't eat her eggs because they have dark spots yeah that's the fork my son just asked me how i know his name i'm not in the mood tonight was on the bus the other day and two kids about ten were in front of me one of them said that his parents won't let him get a dog so he used to stare at the sun to try to make himself blind so he could get a guide dog no doubt he was waffling but you have to admire his imagination meaning of shrek see when i was at preschool my classmates were talking about their moms one of them was saying that his mom was rexy a lot of the other boys were saying that their mom were shreksy too gross and stupid i guess but all i heard was the word 60. i thought they were all saying that their moms were 60 years old and my mom at the time was 34 so i said that my mom wasn't shrexie i was picked up by my mom that day and another boy told her that i said she wasn't shrexie she doesn't remember it but i vividly do so i guess all the kids were stupid except for those who weren't a part of the conversation when i was younger i never used to lick the yogurt off of yogurt lids cause i saw a documentary once and in that there were clips of bears rootling through people's bins and in one of them a bear found a yogurt lid and was licking the yogurt off i would be like this is for the bears and scoop a little extra onto the lids before i put them in the bin mom kept telling me bears don't live here but i kept doing it just in case like the video and subscribe right now and watch my previous tank memes videos [Music] thanks

Channel: Clumsy

Views: 328,439

Rating: 4.9508419 out of 5

Keywords: memes, dank doodle memes, best memes, dank memes, memes compilation, dank memes compilation, best memes compilation, clean memes, ddm, tik tok memes, memes clean, reddit memes, pewdiepie memes, family friendly memes, funny memes

Id: PyKRk5DlfUo

Length: 21min 12sec (1272 seconds)

Published: Tue May 11 2021