kid in vr talks about getting bullied... 2 years later

so i had always like felt a little different and stuff i always seem kind of annoying to my friends like a lot and i could never focus i've never really been able to focus it's gotten to the point of like tears where i try to like do my math homework or something and i just can't i have adhd and a thing that comes with that is like bad insomnia i've always had insomnia and i probably just make it worse by looking at screens and stuff i have to take sleeping pills melatonin so falling asleep is difficult no matter what it's like my mind kind of drifts off but i have to like it's really hard to um keep track so like i can do it sometimes but not always like yeah in eighth grade the teacher is talking she's like this is math it's well it's an a not an e that's another thing and then i was just kind of sitting there like this and like zoning out and i was just kind of like nodding along to make it look like i was paying attention like subconsciously my brain's like hey hey not along she'll think you're paying attention okay but in reality i was zoned out thinking about like i don't know what would mirrors taste like if they had a flavor or something like that uh and then i went she's like okay uh what's uh what are we talking about and then i'm like i'm like oh uh okay and then i do like this this like sherlock holmes type [ __ ] looking at the stuff on the board and i'm just like piecing it together like as fast as i can and then i like feign confidence and i'm like oh it's like this right so even if i get it wrong she thinks that i like know it or something i don't know i ended up getting it right even though i wasn't paying attention and i had no clue we were talking about because i just like skim the board really quick and what do you think i asked you i uh how i tricked my eighth grade teacher i asked you if the way you manage your adhd has changed in the last two years no no no it has not i do the same [ __ ] this one kid in particular i figured his name was but he was a senior he's like what's up freshy and you wanted to give me a hand pick i didn't know what to do all right so he gave me a handshake and he just like squeezed my hand into oblivion i i legitimately thought my hand was going to break i could see him actually struggling to squeeze my hand like i could see his like face getting red he was legitimately trying to like break my hand i think my hand hurts so bad i almost cried in in the hall i'm not gonna deal with this anymore i'm not gonna deal with the constant kids at my school being mean to me and everyone in general you know ever since i got there i wanted to be homeschooled because we had always kind of thought about homeschool and then eventually one day we were just like let's do it and then i was set on it and then a week later no i don't want to do home school definitely not and then a week later yes i do want to do home school and you really just went back and forth until monday i'm like yep i want to do homeschool i know my brain is going to say no you don't but i'm just gonna stick with this answer because i rationalized it most of the teachers don't know how to use technology my math teacher for example he plays multiple videos per class like khan academy videos but they're laggy and we can't hear them so we see a khan academy video at like three frames per second but the only audio we hear is the audio coming out of his laptop speakers that go back in we hear like another three add the divisible four five and that's your answer so i'm sitting there and i'm thinking what is the point of me even being here there have been times when i've been in class and this has been happening and i'm just like okay but like i'm not it it's not working and no like am i missing something here so i'm just like okay and i'll just like leave and i'll do the work by myself because it's like what am i what am i supposed to do what am i supposed to do but lately i've kind of been wanting to go back to real school a little bit like maybe next year i miss my friends and stuff but it's like a double-edged sword i feel like if i went back to school now i wouldn't really be made fun of for my height or anything like that now i'm like if i'm wearing my back brace i have scoliosis no that's new wait you have skunk god god came down and he punched my back now i have to wear this uncomfortable grace my back is surprisingly close to being like eligible for surgery which is scary because if they say you're eligible for surgery i'll probably do it but the surgery actually sounds like a living hell they get your back they just slice on the entirety of it so they can see your spine fix your spine with metal rods and then they fuse your spine together so you can't move as much anymore and the bone grows over the metal rods the metal just becomes like inside your bones and now your back is like a lot straighter but you have a two foot long scar on your back and you're gonna be you have to like relearn to walk or something i don't know i don't want to do it but if i if i you know hey if it gives me that extra inch on my height you know what i'm saying you know what i'm saying mom how tall are you uh i'm a little literally but if i didn't have scoliosis i'd be able to live a little bit oh that's cool uh what's scoliosis it's genetic i'm gonna [ __ ] give it to you and you're gonna be in pain oh one second let me get a swig of my uh good good juice and buy good juice i mean water because water is the best drink now i'm really at mcdonald's this feels real sir more this feels real i am like four nine four ten and that's really bad for a 15 year old when i'm walking you'd probably think of me as like a 10 year old and most of my friends now they don't get asked if they need a kid's menu but i do i know that's not a big thing but it just shows it just lets me look into the public pers perception of me like when i just go about my daily life let me know you're on the kid's menu every doctor is like oh he's fine and then one day doctor's like yeah it is a little bit weird maybe it's just because he doesn't eat right so they sent me to a food person and the food person is like does spaghetti look like worms and i'm like what and she's like is spaghetti worms the spaghetti look like worms and i'm like no and she's like okay let's try giving him more calories just eat stuff with a ton of calories eat all the time he can eat whatever he wants we literally do not care he just needs to eat because he's skinny and he's small give him give him food so we're like okay so i just started eating everything all the time always even when i wasn't hungry if i was bored i would eat which for most people is bad you don't you're not supposed to do that but it's not bad for me just because i'm so small hold that thought [Music] they remember if you shut up shut up no nothing never mind google this is like another thing to add to my list of uh things i have to see doctors for i have to see the doctors like every six months about my short they're like are you short yes okay and then they take my blood and see how it's working and they also do this thing called a bone age they take a picture of my hand i put my hand down on a table it takes a picture of it and then i leave and then they just see like my bone plates and they see if they're closed or not if they're closed that means i can't grow anymore if they're open that means i can still grow somewhere aren't you worried that you're going to miss out on certain important life experiences from being homeschooled um i did cross my mind but you know vr is a way to escape you know like i can be a frog i keep in touch with all of my friends really but it's just i don't see them that often uh like at all i remember when the first video was posted to reddit i sorted by controversial and i saw someone say like this isn't like against the kid but homeschool will really mess up his social skills you know it's controversial so some people are like he's right and other people were like no don't be negative but i mean like he's not wrong he wasn't wrong i feel like it it just made like my social anxiety worse like i have a few things that happened like very recently where it's like wow i can't do anything can i i went to a best buy and i'm uh walking around and i go to like the playstation aisle and i'm like just looking around because i don't have anything else better to do i i look to my left and i have to kind of do a double take because like standing there is uh this girl who i like for a really really really long time and then i'm like okay we gotta leave we gotta get out of here we gotta go and like we make eye contact and i'm like [ __ ] but i mean i'm wearing i have glasses now and i was wearing a mask and i had a hat on so it's like hopefully she didn't recognize me so i i literally just left so i ran away from a girl that i liked at best buy so i'm basically the coolest guy that has ever lived a couple weeks ago i went to a mall by myself because i just got my driver's license and i'm like let's go to the mall you know because i'm i'm really bad with people so it's like okay this is where i get good with people i'm not like talking to them i don't think because i don't think i have the courage to do that like my problems started before i even got in the door i am walking by myself and then these two girls come out of nowhere like from between cars [Music] while i'm walking so i'm like this oh my gosh i'm sorry so i'm like this these two girls come out like this and they're walking and now we're walking like this okay one of them kind of turns around and looks at me and i'm just kind of like what and i'm like oh no she looked at me this is not good and then we get to the door and she holds the door open for me i i feel like uh when i'm nervous and in public i become like weird to look at like my eyes get all like small like i i look very bored or tired and i kind of talk like this i'm like thank you like i turn very monotone and uh she holds the door and i'm like thank you she kind of like turns around and like she made like a face i think like it kind of looked like i don't know like scared or like disgusted or just maybe maybe that's just her face i really have no clue in my head my brain i'm just immediately thinks they think i'm following them they think i'm being weird i need to escape so they keep walking and i'm walking and i'm like they're going this way i will go up the stairs while they leave so i go up the stairs and they go up this way and then i kind of go around here and i'm going to where ever i was just going to go just like walk around the mall and they go up the escalator and i'm like oh my god i'm about to like intercept them so i'm like that's not good so i kind of go this way i just like i go like a totally different way than i was gonna go i just go the opposite direction while they keep going that way people who just looked at me like once like for all i know they were just like his hats blue and then they just like kept walking i don't know that's what they were thinking but that's what my brain jumped to and for the rest of that time in the mall i was just in like fight or flight mode because i felt like everyone was looking at me the entire time i was there and laughing at me like anytime someone would giggle i'm like i did something didn't i and then i went home if i'm online like i could talk to people fine i'll be like hey dude what's up what's up what's up what's up but it's like in real life if i'm like hey dude what's up what's up what's up what's up what's up i don't know it just doesn't work the same i just don't work in uh in public i do not unless unless i have a friend there i'm not comfortable but i'm like more comfortable to the point where it's bearable and i haven't gone back to them all since even though i wanted to buy a shirt when i was like six for two hours i got pieces of paper and built a fully functioning kermit puppet that i loved and i made two more out of cloth i really like kermit i've always liked puppets and stuff like that when i was younger i wanted to be a puppeteer i'm all about i'm all about animation now you know that's the cool thing that's what the kids do in order of things i do most to least we got video games like escape from targo animation and then school this is what i do the most i think i'm better pay for trying to calm what song is that i don't know something by weezer hopefully i can't tell if you're joking because i don't listen to weezer it's wheezy wait are you a big weezer fan only their first two albums but you're not allowed to say your favorite that's basically every weezer fan every weezer fan like because no one's like the first two ones like three losers i don't have tinder so i don't know if left or right is like the good one i'll plug my youtube channel you know go subscribe to it you know what i'm saying i post sick or apps but they're not wraps and they're drawings hopefully i can go to art school that's that's like my main goal my main goal is art school cartoons are like my favorite thing besides video games like video games cartoons like they're like this i think video games take up more of my time but cartoons have molded me as a person more i think it's so it's so weird because like those those shows are just like permanent parts of me now you know when i was like eight years old sitting on like the carpet looking up at the tv screen and saying like spongebob and phineas and ferb and adventure time and gravity falls and like all of these shows not i would i've always drawn my like whole life but like i remember even as like a young lad wondering how they did the things they did how do they make this part of the picture stay the same and this part of the picture move because no way they're tracing it every single time because that's too much work it was jg quintel when he was writing and uh drawing his little pictures of mordecai and benson doing acid do you think he thought in his head wow a ton of kids are gonna look at this on cartoon network and say i'm gonna do that like who knows like that's crazy all these people are just like making things would that make other people make things which is really cool i think i think that's cool do you still have an interest in puppets at all not really but i think most people who do like creative i can't do the finger thing with creative things i think most people who do that have like always done creative things when i was very little you know maybe it's just playing with play-doh but as you go on it's like oh now i make puppets and i'm interested in puppets oh no i like to draw now i want to make comics and eventually kind of okay i think i'll settle on this so i'm pretty sure animation is what i want to do i think i put in enough time with it where it's like i'm past the turning point i think i'm going back in the hell yeah there's there's no going back now like if i wanted to be like an engineer or something i'd have to actually be paying attention in math class so you know it's like you it's like you put a lot of like labor into like tiny little things and little details and then at the end you make like this big thing where it's like how did i even do that it feels like you blinked and now there's this thing i make a little animation of a guy burning down a house i look at that and i go i'm proud of that you know i like that i think i did a good job here i don't know if this is the same for you or other people who make things but it's like whenever i am proud of something i'll like put it online and people will be like this is so good i like this but i can't tell if they're being nice just to be nice or if i'm like actually doing good are the things i make actually like wow that's cool or is it just like oh look it's a little tiny picture of a smiling face let's give them a let's give a math big thumbs up i can't tell so at this point i'm kind of just like i'll make what i make and i'm bound to improve so as long as i'm improving like sometimes i think my stuff's good and then i'm like but is it actually is that just like am i just seeing it through the lens of my eyes so who knows quick pitch me an idea for an animated show um transformers but they're evil so it's like the decepticons but they're also really bad at their job so they kind of just sit around doing whatever all day and then it gets really sad halfway through the series because like they uh start dying or something i don't know but also they can't transform if you could tell one thing to every dawah in the world what would it be uh you need to draw more [ __ ] [Music]

Channel: Syrmor

Views: 880,342

Keywords: vr, syrmor, vrchat, virtual reality, vrchat stories, people in vrchat, guy in vrchat, girl in vrchat, anime, avatar, vr funny moments, dawabvle, dawa, vrchat kermit the frog, vrchat singing, vrchat bullying

Id: GUwYD-ED8Yo

Length: 16min 51sec (1011 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 08 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/firegaming364]

hi dawa

[u/Swordswoman]

I think it's safe to say everyone's done the "Oh, I'm walking behind them, let's take a detour to make it not seem weird" at least once in their lives.

[u/TheBagelCadet]

I love you

[u/bradosaurusrex]

Hey dawa

[u/OkasAlwaysDreaming]

It’s nice to see how much you’ve grown into who you are today Dawa. I remember tearing up back when I saw your first video because of how much I was struggling with social anxiety too. All I can really say is I hope things get better and easier with more experience.

[u/Lil_miss_feisty]

I'm a bit late to the party, but came across these videos today. I really appreciate Syrmor giving people a chance to reflect and share their stories. It can be life-changing having someone who will listen, even for a few minutes, about what a person has going on behind closed doors.

To Dawa, dude you have to go for animation. You spoke so passionately about your creativity as well as animation. Stick with it. As a fellow, short (4'11") ADHD person who's practically a prisoner of my brain, do things you're passionate about. I always go through phases that last a few months of some random thing I'm super interested in to a point I hyperfocus and obsess over them for a few weeks. I will research everything there is to know about something. Most of those interests eventually burn out and I become completely disinterested in them one random day. However, there are only a handful of interests that have lasted me for years or most of my life: astronomy, science, art like drawing/sculpting, and DBZ. When I was in highschool, I didn't feel like my family would be proud of me as an animator or an artist, so I went into the nursing career. I was top of my class, but it wasn't something I wanted to do. So I dropped out. The next semester rolls around and I got reinvited to join the nursing program because of my scores. I thought it over and figured "well...I did good last semester, so I mean it's something I'm good at, maybe I'll give it another chance". I made it to LPN before deciding the nursing career just wasn't "me". I didn't like being around a lot of people, I had too much empathy for others. I wasted dual credits, a high social life, my college years, going into a career that I wasn't in the least interested in. If I could go back, I'd get a headstart in animation classes in highschool, then go to an animation-focused college.