Keith & Eugene's Big Gay Musical Holiday Spectacular - The TryPod Ep. 89

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shipping at hellofresh.com tripod 80 and use code tripod 80 at checkout that's hellofresh.com tripod 80 code tripod 80 for 80 off and free shipping thank you to hellofresh talk space best fiends and native deodorant for sponsoring today's episode eugene we are live in five four don't do this three miles welcome to the tripod welcome to the tripod wow welcome to the tripod you've got keith hey he's our co-anchor and you've got the beautiful weatherman miles howdy it's gold out there it's gone another cold one back to you eugene and i'm here at the main desk uh talking talking silly yeah it's a it's a private pod to dave and we're going to talk about things like our privates because we're going to deliver the silliest the silliest podcast well history of podcasts you know the last time it was just eugene show everybody went nuts for it everyone was stripping off their clothes throwing it on stage and b people were feeling good so we knew we just had to give you another to close out the best year in our lives we're like a live uh concert performance giving you that encore your hair is a little must today it's a little must it's a little mush yeah because it's silly it's a silly box to have oh it's a must hair i thought you said i thought you said musk a little musk like you could smell it i can smell your hair it smells like a strong man in a forest you know i've always thought about about uh like how skunks you know if they weren't so sneaky they'd be so cute they are cutest i know waddle so some people get their stink sacks removed and keep them as cats oh that's not good i don't know i'm sure there's i'm sure there's two sides of the coin there but i feel like a skunk would would that's so much that's so part of their probably like identifying a cat and their biology yeah yeah they have no defense mechanism but also you're providing a safe environment for them that's true that's true in the wild is wild but taking away a skunk stink would take away their if a skunk don't escape is it a skunk it's named after its horrible smell have you guys seen the people on tick-tock who like raise possums and stuff and raccoons they raise them yeah there's like a girl there's this girl and she looked like i don't know some pinterest ass looking 20 something okay and she hadn't she's a little baby well no just like she looked like a normal human being and she had a possum this is a great silly opening so rodents oh i'm down with rodents depends on the road and i think mostly what's your number one rodent squirrel what's yours ah squirrel sorry bro beavers are i'm pretty sure beavers okay i'm gonna it's called like with big [ __ ] teeth that scare you if you are surprised by them yeah wait raccoon's mine you can't say raccoon mine so i have seen on tick tock people who got a beaver yeah and they make little dams in the house but it's just like the flow of people and there's no water but they just anytime there's like an opening they just damn it up yeah i just think raccoons with uh their hamburglar bandit faces and their weird human fingers their hands are pretty amazing they're so funny because if they were huge they'd be terrifying but they're small so they're like little grubby like um how the swedish chef is the only muppet with with people hands yeah yeah that's how i feel about raccoons yeah they're cute have you seen you follow raccoon village on instagram i'm sorry huge [ __ ] shout out my favorite account i following is gonna get the bump it's good it doesn't have that many followers but it's just like a village in japan it's like a raccoon sanctuary where they raise raccoons and it's and they're domesticated and it's awesome yeah there's also a youtube channel of this old guy who has a porch that like 50 raccoons descend upon and he goes today i'm trying to give him a miracle whip will they eat the miracle with and they [ __ ] eat it they go ham over it of course it's oil it's egg oil right i just americo is just oil squirrels are acrobats they are that mark rober video there's one about him creating a squirrel yeah so i've got squirrels in my house my goodness my goodness my goodness and the funniest moment i've ever had is a squirrel there's a squirrel outside one of our doors and it had the biggest testicles the biggest balls let's call them very nice and they were they were sitting right there they were scraping the ground i'm not kidding they were the size of its legs like it was the biggest ball zack i've ever seen on animal and that animal happened to also be a squirrel that's good well what'd you name him what did we name him you named him nuts oh he named him nuts yeah i was thinking maybe we named balzac [Music] balzac well this is a really great start to the silliest podcast in history there's a lot of silly things you can have keith hit us with the first or the second silly thought second silly thought um well i watched home alone last night classic a fantastic film and you know and there's a scene in the middle when she's calling the police in illinois and she's like i need you to go check on my child they're like okay i'll transfer you to family services it goes the next door and then that the police are just horrible it's very very funny but one of the policeman's name is officer balzac and it was something that obviously flew over my head as a child but there's just a character in the middle of a movie whose name is ball sack so that's silly that's what got into my mind because of the nuts that's crazy yeah and there's a lot of like there's a lot of hidden adult jokes there's hidden adult jokes there's also so much teasing of what's gonna happen in the opening sequence with like he literally says i want to live alone i don't want my family they throw away his plane ticket there's other like tiny little things about like all the other characters that come into play it's a very well written movie that's my silly thoughts silly you know you know the picture of buzz's girlfriend where he goes buzz's girlfriend woof yeah uh they thought it would be very mean to cast like an actual young girl to always be like oh you're buzz's girlfriend so they got one of i believe the filmmakers or producers sons yeah and put them in a wig yeah that's so yeah really of a convincing lady though great movie great movie really hot you should watch the movies that made us home alone episode oh it's on there also shout out the movies made us has a christmas movies that made us and one of them is elf which is you know an amazing film and it also is one of those stories like how did this get made this almost didn't happen and then uh nightmare before christmas is the other one and i can't wait to watch that one because i love watching great ones any sort of stop-motion documentary because they're impossibly intricate insane elf is like one of those things that it's so surprising it got me because it's so weird and it's so funny but like not abroad it's now a beloved movie craziest thing the only movie that will ferrell had been in prior to that that had been out was night at the roxbury so everybody thought everybody thought he was a total failure wow and no one ever was like you cannot bring this guy on he sucks now at the same time uh they were filming old school yeah which obviously was a huge hit but he was known as frank the tank so i don't i'm not gonna spoil i want people to go watch the episode but it's very funny it's about how will farrell like was a nobody basically and in the time that they made it he became known for being a drunk maniac and then he was supposed to come out in this family christmas movie so you know what that reminds me of what for my silly silly dog hit it [ __ ] rudolph story silly yeah so what's the so rudolph's one of my favorite christmas characters mainly because i'm down with the song i will never know the same joy as it was to shout like a light bulb like a light bulb oh my god i felt so important screaming that [ __ ] but rudolph i also related to cause he was the weirdo he was different and then one day santa was like you have a use and then everyone was like i guess he's popular now also how blinding must his nose be i make cuts through fog yeah it's pretty hot yeah i don't know what the moral of the story was in the end i think it was i know but as an adult like pinocchio as an adult like as a kid you're like what makes you different makes you special and important but it's really more like they you know you work what makes you different you're wearing superpowers you're a freak and then the man who runs the the the company man says oh i've i have a use for you because it's foggy today yeah yeah so that's kind of [ __ ] up yeah do we do we cancel santa yeah yeah i'm canceling santa castle well he shouldn't be on his sleigh we're in the pandemic yeah well he's gonna be safe he's he's got that beard it's pretty much a face mask no that bear is catching every every particle what if santa this year just had to have a clean shaven face because yes yes and i can't come inside your house six feet six feet rule so i'm going to uh bazooka my presence through your front window it's basically so chronovirus is basically what created the futurama santa yes the evil robot santa oh yeah that would do exactly that would bazooka your gifts at you that was part of his trope that was a good that was a good episode i mean me and keith share a love of uh certain cartoons we love future futurama was great historian was except every time i think of futurama i think of the jurassic park episode and oh really sad you can't think of that one it may i immediately think of it yo yo what when you hurt a dog in anything oh what do you expect me to feel you know what you're doing you feel sad i feel sad he feels very healthy i refuse to watch marley and me oh i've never watched it either i don't want to watch it i can't watch it i don't want to watch it and then they had that movie recently there's a slew of movies called like a dog's purpose a dog's life a dog's way home a dog's like sunday brunch and uh one of the recent ones the story is like the dog just keeps getting reincarnated over and over again which means dying that's like the ultimate we're gonna make a movie where we just showed like 12 dogs die and make you cry i think that's gross cancel those dog movies like we're canceling santa all right you know i i'm with you but what about the classics where the red fern grows yo yeah wear the red burn grows [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] i don't know is that still elementary school uh curriculums i i hope so i definitely in the south it is oh my god the dog's names were the dog's names were blue and okay so uh so to summarize uh little hounds little pounds two two hounds uh little boy in the south uh very touching story but at the end they help protect him when some bully is trying to kill him yeah and yeah they die they die and between their their graves a red fern grows it's where the red fern grows and it was the first time it was it was the first time i watched an adult cry because it was my third grade teacher read it to us and she started weeping uncontrollably sad and it made us so uncomfortable i think crying from books is a very interesting phenomenon do you ever do are you guys big readers because miles no i know i came out i i came out recently i came out and i congratulations thank you so much i came out that i had not read a single book all year and i had made it pact that was going to read a book a month and i that was you made it pact with the devil i made like a new year's resolution of sorts right and i didn't read a single book this year and i feel like a i'm ashamed of them and this was the year probably to read the book you know it's i had time there was time where you're at home and you couldn't go outside books require investment like both emotional and i also think like in ways spiritual because you can sit with a book and it can be the next day yeah so you need to invest yourself to it you have to give yourself the books and with the you know with the way the year was people just wanted to turn on whatever the [ __ ] popped up on netflix to sort of drown out their brain yeah becky's a good reader she reads she buys books she reads books she crushes books in an afternoon i am the opposite i was never a good reader my mom always like made me read in the summer we had summer reading and i had to read like x amount of chapters a day yeah and for some reason the curriculum we chose in my house was anne of green gables which is perhaps the least relatable thing for a young boy for a young boy to try to slog through a seven part like book series of like size five font and 800 pages about a girl who's that's why growing up everyone just they just watched the netflix series yeah i mean yeah and but i did i mean obviously got into the harry potter yeah that was probably the only book series that i was like okay i read it what was the best required curriculum book you read and what was your least favorite the best was the hobbit they let you read the heart in seventh grade we read the hobby what and i was like this is incredible what a fun journey and then we watched the animated hobbit movie at the time which is that's what bilbo bargains fights master which i love and i think it's so funny uh and then the worst one i'm i'm sure i've just blocked out the memory i mean i appreciate it as a pillar a towering pillar of literature in american history but the grapes of wrath was really hard to get through in school yeah mainly because oh yeah i probably would have enjoyed it if i got to read it just on my own all the way through but we'd have to do chapter breakdowns and then a whole class dedicated to that goddamn turtle crossing the street there's a whole chap there's like a chapter early on that it's just describes this turtle crossing the street uh big and it's very representative like it's very it's great but it is very hard to have uh the attention of like sixth grade kids do chapter blocks and say now let's talk about what all that meant yeah i just wanted to read about these people getting you know [Music] right now we are all full-time workers chefs housekeepers teachers and babysitters in our own homes we're trying to keep everyone in their normal routines along with our own and it's not easy to prioritize yourself sometimes but your mental health and well-being play a critical role in showing up as your best self for others and what is amazing is an entire month on talkspace cost the same amount as a single in-person session i mean that's that's great therapy you know the try guys we have done it as some videos before it's important it's something that you know helps you have an unbiased bounce board to sort of talk about understand what's going on with your own mental health it's important they have thousands of licensed therapists with years of experience and over 40 specialties including depression anxiety substance abuse trauma anger management relationship issues food and eating and so much more you know talking to my friends is so different from talking to a licensed therapist who has the expertise and knowledge to give me practical guidance and talkspace gives us the support we need at an affordable price and as a listener of us you get 100 off your first month with talkspace when you use the code try guys to match with a licensed therapist today go to talkspace.com or download the app make sure to use the code try guys to get 100 off your first month and show your support for the show that's try guys and talkspace.com [Music] yeah book assignments where you read it as a class and everybody's reading out loud there's no way to stay focused no ain't no way and you want to read ahead and but then it's your turn to read and you have to out yourself that you don't know where the class is because you read ahead because like everyone's so slow you can't make fun kids who can't read that's not very nice but in tennessee in carthage let me tell you there were some people who couldn't read and we i i we too my family tutored kids i helped kids learn to read but there were some kids that did not their parents did not help them get that help and they couldn't read in high school i liked those post-apocalyptic kind of books that in middle school like the giver and lord of the flies the giver is a good book i read it you talk about the giving treat the movie is the horse you're talking about a giving dream no young children the giving tree though oh my god that tree gave thank that tree gave so much gave and gave me recent uh rumblings throughout the sort of pta that the giving tree is a bad message for kids about abuse i think that's what it's about though well right but i think that for k i don't know i have no idea i could be totally wrong with this but like the idea is that like he just takes and takes who's he's dead and then he's fine because the tree's in love with the boy but the boy's fine at the end and at the very end he cuts the tree down and as an old man he sits on the stump it is it is i think an allegory for you know uh taking too much taking too much from someone yeah emotionally physically spiritually is he a white boy oh he's definitely a white boy oh maybe it's about how the white man taketh you know that's the joy of books you you put your own you put your own meaning to it yeah yeah uh i wouldn't cancel the giving tree i think it's a it's a good mystery to understand it's certainly not the tree's fault no no no no no i'm gonna cancel that little [ __ ] boy who keeps taking it yeah cancel that given given take the receiving boy the receiving let's call him the taking let's call it what it is [ __ ] taking boy so we got santa 20 20. we got to cancel some stuff santa the giving tree i'm not on board okay we're canceling santa's typical yeah we're just reinventing the sand yeah yeah he's got no beard yeah he's in a uh he's in a hazmat suit her medically sealed sleigh he's uh he's uh you know just making sure he's just putting all the sanitizer on every single presentation yeah rubbing it and soaking it in handling every gift is purell um but the giver is a horseshit movie with taylor swift in it um it's okay so you know how the i'm gonna get my soapbox for a second you know how the giver's about that they can't see color and then all of a sudden they can yeah the movie's like halfway in black and white and then it becomes not which is fine but then the other thing in the giver is that they don't know emotions so they learn a much they learn emotions and halfway through you know what they're doing i have no idea what you're talking about i'm enjoying it and the problem is when there's actors expressing no emotion as their characters it is a it's bad acting it's just a bad thing to watch it's not fun to watch so they'll be like okay i have to go to my house like they're trying to be very monotone it's uh you know yeah you know what that reminds me of is there's a thing in literature like there is in movies or any type of i guess like business art bart uh we call it business we call it bard here uh where they say this is hot right now right so as kids we liked these sort of dystopian like what happens when society crumbles books like from 1984 to lord of the flies and then of course hunger games you know one especially in the ya world they're like this is hot everything needs to be dystopian magical hero child is a good one but i believe magical hero child uh was like early 2000's then had we had a big vampire craze yeah and then we went into dystopia and that's when they were like we're gonna give her into a movie and then there's a point where it's almost like right when it becomes hot because of one thing then the next thing is not hot anymore and i just think you should just let people just write and read what they want stop telling us what we think is hot yeah i don't need to like i'm always into dystopia you don't know me you don't know me it's not just a christmas feeling yeah some some producers like we're not into fantasy right now i'm like everyone's in a fantasy there's so many people how could anyone ever say that oh we shouldn't make that there's no audience for that there's so many [ __ ] people in the world there's an audience for it i promise there's like yeah raccoon videos audience right here hell yeah rabbit asmr audience i think that's like what tick-tock is to me is that like the idea that there's no piece of content that there's zero audience for it's just in varying degrees and tick-tock is like we'll find all the [ __ ] people who like this specific weird yeah it'll help we'll help you yeah we'll navigate yeah currently you know you had a weird silly thought about musicals right well i did so i last so lately i've been trying to fall asleep and i just can't because my mind is buzzed with ideas and i don't know why specifically but last night i was thinking hey why hasn't there been a musical written that's just called gays and it's like a really fun music about how how cool gays are from this perspective of gays obviously and there's all these songs about how they're so hot and how they love to party i just think there's like so many good like ripe trope of just a positive it's not it's not about anything dark it's just it's gonna be a totally celebrational there's no antagonist it's just a fun thing and i just think it would crush you ready to blow your mind where you get your mind blown i'm ready i'm about to blow it no blow it don't uh i think every musical is already that i was gonna say the same thing because i agree because gays gays like will even in like the darkest musical gays will be like that's that's the queer character this is how i'm going to feel i'm going to celebrate this also everyone on stage is probably a little gay that's why that's why let's just go out and do it i think it'll be too obvious no i think it'll be too obvious because the one because okay here's here and this is okay now this is this now we're getting together right great we're writing it everybody it's gay we are a musical trademark this idea stop trying you've got the basis but now i'm going to advance it okay queer perspective it's going to go into a queer dystopia okay because the one thing that keeps this very diverse umbrella of the lgbtq pluses together is our shared disdain for heteronormativity and if it's just a culture of us man that's going to devolve very fast it will yeah we're we're we're a rainbow coalition until we're not um so it's like a cult yeah and that's and that's that's when it's gonna get and it's basically all the gays decide you know what because we're gonna all live together you know then the the bad guys will become for sure the the cis white gays yeah for sure right they're the mean bad guys they're gonna come out and they're gonna like snap in and you know the gate what i'm trying to think of like what land mass should the gays just be like we're gonna claim this is ours australia i mean because it's a country coming down under i was going to say mykonos yeah it needs to be somewhere hot like sexy hot yeah you know a greek a greek island all the greek islands are very yeah what about just all greece i mean but now we're just talking about mamma mia look which is a very grease is poised there's no there's no out out like outright queer characters in that but that is probably one of the gayest movies and musicals in history they threw share in it for no reason yeah musicals are just in the dna i just already gay musicals i've i want to ride a musical someday in my life i want it to go to at least off off broadway i do miss musical i think the clovid like you can't see musicals and stuff like that oh i miss performing on stage in front of people i miss seeing people perform on stage for me yeah right i miss both i think that the try guys the musical great idea we talked about this on a podcast before we must have but i think there's something that you can do where you just do a full-ass musical or you guys write a producer different people play you so how do i play baseball these are the rules of baseball did i mention that i have a wife uh we would maybe need to uh recast zack and ned no they can if it's on broadway yeah well if it's on broadway right now i don't know and i'm not about to do the same show for two years straight you kidding me i'll go crazy i don't know how they do it that's so crazy this is what we do we recast us with hot games yeah musical theater performers i mean yeah that's what you would do so it's another piece it's like we're breaking away from buzzfeed yeah right we're starting all over again [Laughter] youtube the musical hasn't been done oh there's been you guys well michelle carrey does the rewind rewind musical i don't know if it's out by the time this podcast comes out or if it's coming out soon but i'm sure it's good she does a good job on this yeah i haven't seen that yeah but i think we've always joked this is very silly try guys we never get to do it because we're i don't know just chugging away at our [ __ ] slogging slogging at our slate but our dream throw the coal in the engine of the train and keep it let's give them the hard truth about a lot of digital creators we're older than many of them yeah and a lot of it we and the try guys many of us come from like traditional art backgrounds theater so a lot of these youngins they coming up they uh only do digital stuff maybe they do some makeup maybe they uh vlog and talk talk about what it's like yeah they dance cute they do modern art they do modern art but what do we want what we want to do one day is we want to do spin the wheel shakespeare yeah we want to just get a lot of people together but the wheel you run backstage and something says perform the next scene while holding three cats or take take a shot or switch roles or oh we would be really drunk the whole time yeah we should all be drunk i really do think that the next time we tour whenever that is in three years it should just be romeo and juliet so funny us here's why it's free speaking of things you have to read in middle school yeah everyone knows romans everyone knows roman juliet we i think it would be great because it's a great way for us to appeal to our fans but also just yeah theater people yeah because you know that when like people see that romeo and juliet is coming to town they're not someone's not going to read the bylines yeah and they're going to be like oh yeah let's go see it and then they're going to show up and it's going to be the four of us playing all the roles and it's going to be so [ __ ] fun and whatever city when we have a guest you know uh actor or digital creator come on stage with us you know as the other role and we have a camera backstage of the wheel of shakespeare so that they see what's happening as it goes so it devolves into chaos yeah it would be every show is different i also kind of want to just do it proper no no no like there's nothing worse than something video series we learn shakespeare and we work hard and we get the idea you know you know this well recall my old shakespeare's theater there's nothing worse there's nothing worse than kind of good theater oh i'm a kind of good shakespeare can before there's nothing but it's bad anything on stage whether it's improv uh acapella broadway if it's kind of good it's nothing i need it to be hilariously bad on purpose or superb maybe we should just wed side story it and we should just write a new modern romeo and juliet set in i don't know 20 25 west villa philadelphia west philadelphia just set somewhere else and you know we pl we use all the tropes we basically do all the characters it's free you can just do whatever you want with shakespeare that's a beauty they already did it i know there's that movie again there's a movie called gnomeo and julie no that's true they nailed it it's garden gnomes in different yards wait what are garden gnomes and why are they there that's a good question i think that they scare away the monsters are they like rodents oh jerry rodents i imagine that why else would you put a demon in your yard is it a cultural thing where someone it just kind of is a relic of well it comes from norway maybe i don't know sweden no i think that it's yeah it's scary it's like a scarecrow but for people from denmark are gnomes what are the creatures that steal your socks rats oh um is that gnomes or slimes yeah that's gnomes steal your they like steal your underwear your socks and your things yeah that's like the idea like when people first used to lose socks they said oh little little gnomes are stealing yeah they're taking those little and then there were the borrowers remember that book the borrowers they're basically like modern gnomes no they were they were taking [ __ ] they were the takers yeah they were tiggers they were not borrowing you remember when you were a kid and you asked if you could borrow something and then go borrow a dollar can i borrow but you always say this you always say can i borrow a piece of gum right and there was always that one kid who would say do you mean take a piece of gum in half what do you mean how many it's like the parents who go um can i have that and they go may i have that oh my oh my god my mom was a teacher oh when i was in the back of the minivan and we were going somewhere and i said something grammatically incorrect boy was i corrected here i'll be your mom real quick you say can i can i can i watch the can can i have some more corn oh you can but uh may you have i don't know why i made a friend dracula go ahead go ahead uh oh you can keith but may you now she would say that she would just start with may like or like like may you have or like yes you may have some yes you may have some corn or the classic you know child responses i don't know can you can you keep have some corn you know what's weird i really i'm much more i'm really on the side of proper grammar when i see it written but for in a vernacular like when we're speaking i could care less i couldn't care less i could care less i could yeah that's because when you're reading something you don't you aren't given the uh the emphasis you aren't giving you aren't given the the way it's spoken when you hear things there's a ton of connotation from emotion something the giver lacked that tells you that tells you what someone means like you honestly we could get by with like no connector words right like bread you know it's the same as bread yeah may i have some bread yes bread do you know how many times i've yelled that during quarantine bread bread bread that's because matt makes bread right yeah but also trees have you not just craved bread oh i eat bread [Music] it's 1am and you're in bed and the covers are pulled over your head to trap your phone's light so your partner can keep snoozing because you are too busy playing best fiends i know that's my every night becky's slumbering and i am playing puzzles with little monsters if you haven't gotten best fiends give it a download today it's free in the store i mean why not you know sometimes zach and i we touch base see how each other are doing he'll like text me and be like did you get past this level i'll be like nah bro because best fiends is the can't put it down mobile puzzle game that's free to download with over a hundred million downloads this five-star rated mobile puzzle game is a must play there's more levels events and challenges added all the time so play away and there's always just you know you know there's always like one more level you know there's always one more i just do one more level seriously once you download best fiends boredom won't stand a chance and when best fiend says that the fun never ends that's not an exaggeration there are 5 000 levels and counting so download best fiends free today on the apple app store or google play that's friends without the r best fiends [Music] becky keeps trying okay let me get on a horse ride go off make sure it's a silly horse it's a silly horse so becky and i we try to eat well we're trying you know especially after thanksgiving came and gone all we did was eat we kept that tradition alive but we've been working out we got a rower we've been rowing now we've been having salads this week we've been trying to eat healthy but here's something i'll be like i want to have bread because all i eat for breakfast the only breakfast foods i'm interested in are eggs and toast that's it's just it's a good good way to start my day great way now becky is like you shouldn't have bread and i'm like but then i can only eat eggs and then i'll be hungry so she doesn't want me to have bread it's just because she doesn't want to have too many carbs yeah but she has yogurt and berries and she'll make juice she'll make these all these other things for breakfast and the real thing it should be like at the store and she'll get ice cream but tell me things like i can't have bacon i'm like becky bacon is my ice cream i don't want ice cream yeah i want this kind of so it's always that keith can't have his back yes he can have hers she can't have chocolate she came home with chocolate chips in the bag the other day something becky does sometimes she doesn't buy candies like no they're ingredients but you know what oh chocolate chips i'm like that's not you're eating candy i think some people becky does this and many people do this they separate like treats and dessert as a separate thing that they can have that doesn't count towards like baconing or breading up a meal right so it's like oh no no that's that's my dessert right that's my like treat myself my dessert is a steak see they don't see it i know they don't see it's a different planet we live on different worlds different planets that's how we could maybe that's the romeo and juliet people who love desserts and people who don't just entree boys i guess you could you know oh well i'm losing my lips i'm just like what if it was like uh when it was like grocery store departments and they were it's kind of like the movie that the sausage party movie oh yeah instead of being about escaping it they like the bread people are only friends with the bread people and the deli meats are only friends of the deli meats but a ham falls in love with a baguette oh you know what that sounds like pretty gay pretty gay it's already pretty obviously all of them are gay i'm a big believer that like we were talking about food you got to either go for it and like cook a steak with butter and [ __ ] everything on it or you have like something kind of healthy but you can't be making out here a steak without butter or like you can't be making out here making like a boring egg with no salt and [ __ ] right you got it it's like the you can just have egg whites no you could just go to hell yeah i'm not in it for the egg whites no i'm in it for the yolk hell yeah no one wants egg whites yeah you're also people have high cholesterol and i get that yeah you're big you can have bread i'm big i can have bread and i've been working out i've been i've been exercising six times in eight days that has got to be a record for keith habersmith that's a lot of times and like yeah yeah we're hitting it we're hitting it hard that's good and we're i mean it's because we're in the honeymoon phase of the rower i'm sure at some point we'll forget all about that sweet sweet horse it was [ __ ] silly what words in english that are also the same as the same word but different meanings so like yolk is the egg yolk but yolk is also a thing you put on an ox do you spell it the same way oh no why okay that's where my mind went this is the silly episode or like lie homonyms yeah lie speaking of homonyms so lie is something that you say is a fib or to make yourself horizontal yeah that's so confusing to people learning english lie and lay right i still don't know the right one english is so silly that is silly like i'll take a lay or like but i lie down why lay down wood wood being spelled wood and then also wood so like timber is wood oh oh and then wood if you could or should is good you will yeah we we should you know some countries have like it seems like too many characters too many words right like i think chinese is one of those like there's just so many it seems overwhelming but uh english especially american english is so confusing because we have so few and there's so many similar sounding and looking words that mean completely different things and we have a lot of them so i think that's why people have trouble learning english is because like oh well in this instance this word means something completely opposite so silly yeah so silly silly silly silly silly that's why like something like korean hangul is very uh clean because the whole uh i believe one of the most famous kings of korea uh he simplified chinese essentially or like all the other more complicated languages like japanese is also very complex and was just like you know what i'm going to draw a grid and i'm going to make every of these 24 characters fit in the grid and they all have one sound oh wow there's like a few variations there's like an a thing going on that's a little confusing but other than that everything's just is very simple is korean a tonal language what's an example of a tonal language so oh like um wear a different pitch so chinese no it's not typically mandarin yeah most chinese are total languages which uh i don't really know much about but my brother who learned chinese tries to teach me about it and it goes way over my head all the time but it's basically like if american english was spoken where if i said hello eugene and that was how you that's the only way you could say hello eugene yeah is that it has to follow a sound and the way you sort of sing the sounds actually changes the affectation of what those like if you said the word high versus high the different tone makes it a different word meaning yeah yeah that's so cool that's why when you hear uh you know someone chinese talking and movies it it like to us sounds so bizarre right but but it's a tonal language that is how the language is spoken it is almost sung in ways yeah which makes it gorgeous which makes it is not so when you hear someone speaking korean just very quickly on the phone they could sound like they're speaking something like more like english because it's just very straightforward uh japanese is really interesting i learned that every why japanese is so hard to speak for non-native speakers every syllable is the exact same length so as they speak the phonetic is like and watch any you can watch any like anime or something but it's just it's just perfectly spaced and that's something that we have no concept of yeah we could not do that yeah like arigato mas yeah the same it's just all the same exact lengths yeah i feel like a bad citizen of the world because i only speak english and i am and i'm wondering i mean i speak very minimal spanish although i took it all in school and stuff like that i feel like living in los angeles is a [ __ ] travesty i don't speak full spanish hey guys let's see how far we can get in just spanish for the next story this is gonna be embarrassing i only know french but um i can maybe pick up a little bit hola almost us uh more or less better words yeah [Applause] [Laughter] i think it's just any beginner spanish and it's like a great word and discoteca is a good one yeah it means discotheque yeah i like that one it is very good yeah it is very grass is greener because you know we always english to non-english speakers some people think it's like cool sounding or pretty yeah i mean not every accent we have isn't necessarily the coolest rank them i mean yeah some people but like some people are very charmed i mean i know uh i have family members who are very charmed by like southern accents because they see westerns growing up so that accent is very like howdy howdy iconic yeah so it's it's it's always just like that is such a beautiful language and everyone who has that language is like that's so boring because you think of your grandma yelling it or something and it really looks it loses its shine come on down it is similar to what it sounded like in the south not my grandmother but other people's grandmothers let's talk about grandma grandmas grammy um so you know what's silly uh okay zach and ned do this i don't really have this but people have like pet names for the grandmas so ned was talking about the drama like the the the nicknames oh yeah they have nicknames that's the like peepee when wes was born ned's parents and in-laws were discussing amongst themselves who got to have witch who's grandma who's granny who got noonah yeah who's none it was like a whole political conversation it is baby it's just a baby language what's going to be the easiest phonetic sound for the baby to refer to me as because i'm most excited to meet it as a baby what was your grandma uh one of my grandmothers was grandma so grandma and grandpa were my dad's side uh i never knew my uh grandfather on my mother's side he passed either before i was born or when i was very very very very itty bitty baby young and then my mother's uh mother was named mama mama yeah you called your grandma mama mama oh interesting and she referred to her as mama i don't know if that's a hangover from what my mother called her mother perhaps or it was just like yeah i call her mama so you're gonna call her mama and you'll call the other grandmother grandma and uh none of them are alive anymore but that is the way this is the way this is the way this is the way my grandpa did make it 104. that's [ __ ] and also it's even more insane because as a child he had rickets so like which is like a uh a like a leg like thing right and so he he like has stunted his growth and something goofy with his leg so he was only like five feet tall if even there's a tiny little man uh and he was a airplane engineer in world war ii where he met my grandmother in scotland they came back and moved here to new york where my dad was born and raised in queens and uh just a bizarre bizarre thing they lived in the german district uh which you know led therapy to some like questionable animosity to the germans during world war ii obviously but they were all like no we're chill we're americans we are not into that we're not that this is grandma or mama grandpa grandpa and grandma grandpa grandma but my grandma you know she came over after the war so she was scottish yeah scottish scottish i remember when she was when i was a baby she would sing um the you take the high road song but like in a scottish science like drug you take the high road and i'll take the lord and i'll be in scotland before ye and my true love shall never meet again on the bunny bunny banks of godzilla on the bunny bunny banks of godzilla and i'm like what the [ __ ] i know like to me i thought this was a child song that was completely made up in fantastical fantasy that i never heard about that's a [ __ ] best example of i hear scottish accent and i'm so into it i love it i think it's the most singing song but then you talk to a scottish person they're like what the [ __ ] are you talking about our accents sound like what the [ __ ] are you talking about they're like irish did your grandmother ever encounter um for lack of a better term bears no wait uh not that i know it she doesn't see and she never told me any stories about any of the bears lore um one of uh here here's a funny story we're on topic of scotland in ireland uh in my high school we did something called one act in theater oh yeah it was uh one competition that you can take to state yeah and everyone comes in and for people don't know one act is like you have a set number of set pieces that you can use and it's a basically one act play and we did a play that was set in ireland and in ireland uh my now my accent's terrible but i studied so hard to get this accent right because i was the lead character and i was also the only person of color on the stage and none of the other none of my classmates would learn like i'd be sitting there like one two three four five you know and they'd be like one two three four five so i'd be up there with what i thought was a pretty darn good parody of an irish accent at the very least i tried really watching all the movies i would watch anything with with an irish accent i was practicing practicing and then i got up there and the first performance it was just me this asian boy screaming in like this very strong irish and then everyone else was just like but the cows the cows are gone like oh no the chaos it was uh it was very confusing it was already very confusing for the audience and very confusing for me yeah yeah yeah and uh not as gay as musical theater no one acts are very serious very sad typically some sort of like person dies parents are abusive relationships are abusive they're all like intense all the one acts are like okay we only have half the time to tell the story make it dark which oh my god dark high school theater was there's this great tick tocker or something we're saying this is like kids portraying things they have no idea about so it's always just violet how could you take take mickey to to the bar i know what you were doing with him yeah right you cheating [ __ ] you you better respect me slap slap and then you go oh oh i swear it wasn't me ronnie i love you everything was bad then i take my fake whiskey drink which is always like iced tea yeah you throw it [Music] with the holiday season upon us we're all getting into the spirit by indulging in the sights and sounds and scents of the season and one thing i made sure to do was update my native collection with their new holiday sense hell yeah my armpits now smell like sugar cookies everybody can back off i am crushing life you already know about this but it doesn't just block odor better they're made better it's got ingredients you've heard of like coconut oil and shea butter it's also vegan and it's never tested on animals all these things we love around the holiday season their candy cane gift set also makes for a great gift option and all native products are great stocking stuffers for everyone on your list so shop natives holiday collection today by going to nativedo.com guys or use promo code try guys at checkout and get 20 off your first order that's nativedeo.com try guys or use promo code try guys at checkout for 20 off your first order i always imagine that that scene for the marriage story being done by like two middle schoolers and like an acting class that's a great digital series yeah right his kids recreate adult scenes that they have no idea what they mean cold reading yes cold reading wow that's actually really okay copyright that's a try kids stop stop stealing at audiences that's the try kids first series is uh recreating this what's another good uh two two adult scene for them to get uh like the wolf of wall street like the two like where there's just like i woke up i had coke oxy he was like talking about the drugs he took blocking out eighth grader that is so funny i need more quaaludes [Laughter] i need more cu lids that is great man i miss theater be it i missed the theater i didn't i mean i only got to do theater proper my senior year of high school like until i went to the school for theater obviously but like those high school plays there's something special about a high school play college plays everybody's too serious your professors are watching and judging you for your school grade on your place you like have to be so connected and they're fun still but high school plays listen there's something special listen you get older you go into business or whatever and you're selling stuff you get rejection a lot and it hurts but nothing compares nothing compares to that cash list getting pinned up on a door i mean you know when you're an athlete i kind of feel like you kind of know if you made the team or not based on your performance you can watch the other people running and say i was the slowest exactly but in theater or a choir show where there's a certain list now the auditions are there's also there's also politics there's also so many people parents who are like donating more to the arts plus like it's true and this is true in any casting if if sharon is the best girl for the lead mike was the best boy for the league but that's terrible chemistry with sharon so benny's gonna be the lead because we need to have sharon so like there are politics like that is like well she was the best so now we have to go off who was the best with her right and so sometimes your performance doesn't really matter how good you are because someone else is more important to that role and it's it's rough it's tough it's out it's tough out there i mean there were still cast lists in college theater too and those were even more intense because you'd have this big audition at the top of the semester that cast all the plays from that you'd have callbacks all the plays from that general audition and so you would even that first time is like if you didn't get any callbacks you we're not getting a good role but some people get caught back to like everything right but then there were politics of like two different plays wanted that one actor you can only be in one play per semester so then like they had like meetings where they'd almost be like trading baseball cards around because like well i need them it's like okay well if you get them then i get this person yeah and it would like be a mishmash and i never got cast well in collins and it's very sad you could do a we talked about this a little bit on the on the zac uh net episode but you could draft a musical like a fantasy football draft oh but drafting a musical and then use those people's careers to see how the musical would perform box office wise that's easy just pick all the stars maybe but sometimes stars are in flops uh that's true and then whoever's the highest box office would win who would i put it who is the one person you want in your musical daniel radcliffe well i mean that you're gonna make your money back for sure movie musical or stage music well i was thinking stage musical it would not be daniel radcliffe i'd do the waving through a window guy waving been playing he's cool amazing i would pick audra mcdonald oh man i would go idina probably oh but also do you guys see the beetlejuice uh what are we missing i wanted i didn't see it live ever but i saw clips from it and uh i [ __ ] i can't remember but the the girl who plays violet whatever that lead is is incredible winona writer writer's character no her character yeah yes yeah sometimes i watch um youtube compilations because you know even if you can't go to broadway shows when you don't live in new york uh i'll just watch things of like the highest notes for female singers to hit and just like as a mega clip of like these are the hardest roles to hit this note uh i'm just so astounded by talent i love good talent that's why my highest success rate is off off broadway because i think that broadway requires such an unbelievable amount of not only like your show has to be good but you have to cast it well for that opening weekend you're very talented i am but i don't know i think you can write a broadway you could also be cast for casting you you need to be one of the character actors i do need to be a character so if you're in les mis you got to be messed up oh you're a master of the house i feel like that's totally doable for your career is to crush a broadway opening weekend yeah i just gotta write i want to write oh you want to do this i want to make a musical yeah i have like songs that i think are like oh this is a hit song in a musical but i i have to write the whole musical like i have this amazing like beautiful duet that's about um a couple rejoicing that they're not pregnant and it's like explode it's just about its songs called negative and they're both just super [ __ ] happy that they're playing this is negative and then obviously in the show it would be that like they sing this whole song the guy leaves and the girl then realizes it's positive right so they have this opening number about how great it is that they're not pregnant and then they are actually are pregnant and it was like a one-night stand thing and now now they have to figure it out well you know what that's enough that's enough our tuck let's talk about something sillier oh sillier yeah sillier than art silly nothing bands more like you guys remember those silly bands silly bands you know the wrist little wristbands first of all they were it's a rubber band in the shape of a horse but then you put it on your wrist and it's really not in the shape of course anymore but when you take it off oh those things it's a shape of a horse again were they the things from like coin machines yeah they were at the very popular like i feel like i was in the age demographic like for like a year before they ended okay they were like a fidget item they were just a thing for a year those rubber bands those gumball machine thingies what are they called gumball machines quarter quarter prizes one i don't know are they still popular for kids i don't see them as much anymore they used to be always at the front of the grocery store the grocery stores yeah and you're oh my god if you got a big-ass gumball you get one big-ass gumball so you ask your parents like you get 50 cents you are riding high you are a rich person wow yeah but usually they just give you 25 cents and sometimes you want to get uh like temporary tattoos and within an hour it is disgusting it's so dirty that hand is just covered in lint but you still play with it until it can't stick no more you just like you're riding home in the car and just slapping around the window ruining that window do you remember the sticky ones it's like a person or a frog or an animal with balls for their uh hands and feet yeah you would crawl down the wall when you threw it oh yeah those are cool those were cool and all the toys all the oh it's not a silly thing but you know something that i i really miss is arcades and it's just i've always i love arcades i've talked about it before i [ __ ] love arcades i walked by a place near my new house the other day and it was a pinball place and it was closed obviously right now but i peeked in and there were like 15 pinball machines i [ __ ] love pinball it's within walking distance of my house but it's not open and when will it ever be open when will i be able to flap the flippers when will i be able to knock those ball bearings around into targets you know what's silly is aging because we're waxing nostalgic to a lot of listeners who who might be under say 20ish they don't experience that they remember arcades right they don't know arcades not an arcade no no no no no no no that's an indoor theme park as far as i'm concerned that's absolutely right an arcade it has wacky 80s carpet it smells like quarters and all half of the machines don't really work how they should but enough of them do there's a crazy looking guy wandering around he's never at the prize thing when you're ready to bring your tickets up there's nobody there you're like i got my tickets and there's nobody there who's wandering around they're in a mall so we were born in like late 80s which makes us part of this really interesting i guess like mid to older millennials who we grew up as children with a lot of things that are very dated and then suddenly like when we hit elementary middle school things just shifted dramatically with the internet yeah so things get like answering machines and caller id call already landlines where you can listen in on calls yeah people don't get that so you could maybe your parents could be talking on one phone and you have to yell across the house like hang up the phone cause like maybe your friend uh billy's calling you keith and i'm your mom and i'm like bonjour yeah because that was like devices and movies you know they'd be like they were listening on the call and they found out that the husband he went to the bar and he cheated i'm doing the kids right yeah but yeah that was such a it was such a cool time phone numbers yes oh yeah i do still know like childhood friends phone numbers because i do yeah yeah i know i know my friends phone numbers are kids more than i know any phone numbers now yeah i don't know anyway i know becky's phone number that's it like you'd have to remember your emergency contact number you know when you're signing up for a field trip yeah nowadays you pull your your your cell and you're like okay i got it i probably had a good 15 numbers in the in the bank in the brain in the brain and you know you remember those combos you dial the wrong one sometimes and somebody answers like oh like um is robert there like the other wrong number son okay i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm so sorry you call the same number again i was like hello he's like oh god oh never mind i just don't have his number yeah you know those uh those spotify wrapped lists were going around twitter where people showed their like most streamed artists and it made me think of you know limewire oh my god virus machine yeah so back in the early days after i was a limewire boy yeah you uh it was a different situation because uh you would try to find a song say you were trying to find i don't know miley cyrus uh a new uh one of the excellent new songs um you had to go through maybe 20 downloads of someone who probably like i don't know recorded it from a faraway a green bar if it was really good eventually that was more kazaa's speed they had a good like rating system yeah but like especially napster it's no [ __ ] clue are you gonna get and people just name files songs and you download it and it would not be that so silly it would just be any any confusing like trap but then of course you could get your music sometimes it was like weird quality it was like a recording of a recording it was like taped off the radio but it was cool also when you were a kid when you would load anything on a website it would like it would screw what's the word it's kind of strobes downward like it loads top to bottom lines yeah it'd be like it load one row of pixels at a time from top down especially photos especially photos especially pornographic photos uh as a child when i uh oh yeah what was your first pseudo point because pseudocores okay there's a website a website called new grounds and there was a website called assassins.com both were flash animation game and video sites yes and both of them had a little dirty section a little dirty section where it would be and they would slowly slip off their clothes slowly and then but each one was a photo so it loaded the same way and you'd like load it only to find out that they didn't they only lost the socks you're like [ __ ] god and clicking next page and you're looking over your shoulder and you're like speaking yeah speaking of which that's what kids don't recognize today yeah you have one family computer yeah you don't have your own phone you can't have your own phone covers your own laptop one computer in the house and for some reason i get it your parents it's either in the family room or it's facing for a large space so if you walked into the room you could see what's on the screen it's facing a wall so your back is facing the opening of the of a living room or an office looking at naughty stuff was mission impossible [ __ ] i was like it's 11 p.m i'm gonna creep into this you couldn't okay i wasn't at that point yet i just kind of was looking at stuff right but i'm saying like but you couldn't do that you can't do that it was risky but you have to like try to memorize it for some other time i would be like google image searching the word boob with safe search on and like seeing a picture and being like oh right yeah google i mean even google image shirts like that wasn't very good yet there wasn't really you were using ash jeeves you were using other search engines there wasn't a dominant search engine at the time yahoo started becoming kind of predominant yeah who was pretty big yahoo games yahoo so for me when i discovered that there was gay stuff online i to discover to hide it because i didn't realize how to race history i went oh this is maybe the silliest i would type in hot girl boob butt boop girl girl blonde boob boob butt ass brunette hot kiss you typed all that in a row mouth no i would just keep researching oh and then every 20th when i go okay and then i you know i do another 10 searches um titty yeah booby booby butt legs penis that's it was so sad because uh really you know cut into my private time that i was trying to like get away with this uh so i could and then of course the loading took forever so so i okay this is something i was thinking about just the other day i know but we go right now we just found the meat just found the silliest story what we wanted to get we got it audience is like here we go so chat rooms oh god oh i can look back now and realize i was putting myself in perhaps one of the most dangerous environments all the time i would be going in and people would be like where do you live i'm like this is my address oh you know like you're a [ __ ] child yeah you don't know what you're saying and you're like hoping you're thinking you're making friends and you don't know any of these people i was certainly talking to adults mixed with you know with children and like we were just talking about stuff and i okay this is a very funny silly thing my handle as a child was burger boy no okay that was my first ever handle yeah and it was pretty good and burger boy yeah now this is about the time when people first started writing brb i thought people were referring to me because my name was burger boy that's good and it like burger berber and i so i whenever someone would write brb i legitimately thought they were trying to talk to me and i would wrote what's up in like a group chat it's so awkward it was very awkward so painfully awkward you're like no one's talking eventually i realized it was be right back and i was like oh oh but here's the oh here's the connection some people's avatars were dirty pictures because you could upload any image you wanted so i found that the chat room was a safe place for me to find dirty pictures because i wasn't searching for them i was simply going into chat rooms where inevitably there would be somebody with a dirty avatar and you could click the avatar and you could see the full image of the larger wow and then you could also download the avatars because you could just save images now that was something i did not do because i realized immediately it was on because i get this out of here i did like was like nope and uh get rid of that but it was like man chat rooms were a weird place i'm sure there's some existence of them now but i'm kind of glad they're probably pretty much eradicated in terms of how you would use them yeah there's new evils you know there's new evils it was like everyone was a catfish everyone was okay even kids were catfishing yeah because i was like i'm uh 18 year old in florida caucasian blonde man i go to the job in the car and he'd be like you talk to someone for like five minutes who's saying that they're like a girl who's your age somewhere else but you won't be my girlfriend because your child yeah you don't know what that means you wanna be my girlfriend if anyone i got girlfriend now mm-hmm if anyone who is like did not grow up with this wants to see what this was like watch the show called penn 15. on that is literally the age that those those actresses i believe are our age yeah actually i just realized we look like them oh my god wow oh my god what a perfect wow halloween costume for oh my god oh my god they're fantastic by the way it's a fantastic show those performer producers they're incredible uh wow that is so funny you look so much like her yeah that is so funny yeah that still fulfills your need to do drag yeah you know i can do drag two oh my god but you know it's so funny you watched that show and that was basically our like middle school experience yeah it was i've actually only seen like the first three episodes because oh they have a whole crushed it without me they have a whole episode dedicated to chat rooms i want to watch that one specifically exactly what you described it was so weird it was such a weird time growing up is so confusing and especially growing up at the beginning of the internet and even you kids now like you know more about the internet than i do oh yeah you certainly do and we knew more about the internet than our parents at the time but all of us sort of started on the ground floor together so your dad is learning about the internet at the same time as you yeah but i'm like what is he using the internet for i don't know i don't [ __ ] care that's boring you know that's like what your thoughts like whatever he's looking at is probably my dad was probably looking up rocks which is what now what i'm doing yeah i'm actually looking at rocks right now sometimes sorry i get it i get it dad i get it but like because he's a geologist i'm trying to find i'm trying to find a big fancy rock for my house you know that's cool back he sent me okay i'm gonna say he sent me a there's a big geologist trade show up halfway between here in las vegas it's in january or february if anybody wants to go with me you could buy a whole i would love to go wholesale gems baby [ __ ] did you see that tweet i said that you make fun of where i'm like i used to collect gems as a kid yeah me too i would go to the polish gems yeah because they're the only ones at the store in the mall i know but you gotta get what's not gonna go against raw minerals bro what was that mall store that had a lot of like knickknacks and oh oh noodles gold it was like trade winds yeah and that slippery thing that gets out of your hands well that's the that's the discovery science store discovery science discovery science very cool yeah very cool place yeah but you know back in the day if you had to learn something without the internet you bought encyclopedias yeah which no one's going to do it you would buy like an annual incarta encyclopedia yeah but we're gonna go and we're gonna find one of those big [ __ ] amethyst geodes that the cool people have or or a different kind of g big g o i'm gonna put it in the corner of my house now be one of those people i'm [ __ ] amped about it but they're too expensive when you buy them from the store so i'm going to a trade show where i can haggle with a man here's my silly segue it goes encyclopedias is where you get knowledge back in the day but today you can just get your advice very nice yep from our little advisory parental [Music] dear listeners please write more covers of this song i love your cover silly recoveries like a xylophone one that'd be fun musical version all xylophone yeah what's up miles nations keith eugene thanks for joining me on this beautiful day thanks have you ever wanted someone to massage your teeth actually yeah kinda i love going to the dentist i'm interested kind of a dentist is mr massage have you ever wanted a little man to touch your tongue kind of yeah that's kind of like a tongue scraper i like dental hygiene this is either an electric toothbrush or the dentist get in there and grab your freaking gums and i'm not talking about wrigley's believe it or not that's ripley's but i see what you're doing there every time i wrigley gum rightly i know but i think he was doing a ripley's pun oh because ripley's believe it or not believe it or not the holidays english is crazy is more than a season it's the season wait it's more than a season but it is the season well there's only two of us today so we're really trying to interact with you you just want to know what you mean go to the dentist and he'll tell you your teeth are bad actually i went is to the or just an anecdote well it's always something miles did recently yeah so you went to the dentist on tuesday i'm afraid to go to the dentist right now keith that's exactly where you have to go no but but it seems like the no i should do should i let someone else into my mouth during a pandemic i know that it's sterile however it's literally someone's fingers in your mouth they did put their fingers in my mouth uh and then i walked into the dentist and um when i was in there they told me i like never had cavities as a kid until i was like 25. i didn't have any cavities i was totally fine i never had a cavity right this is to be interrupted this segment is always to be interrupted what if we gave you nothing what if we just gave you something if you let it happen before it is bad baby but uh so i get they told me he got a bunch of cavities and it hurt like [ __ ] sensitive teeth and they filled a bunch of cavities and it was a pain in the ass but now i know that like i'm not wondering i think my teeth are rotting out of my but your teeth were in pain no no no they weren't but he was like you came in you have cavities i filled them and now you don't have them anymore so they're not gonna cause bigger problems they have peace of mind peace of mind and the longer you wait to go to the dentist the worse the cavities get i went a year ago you have to go so i thought that too but you kind of got to go every single well i was supposed to i literally had an appointment in april of last year yeah right everything's shut down oh april of the year before probably oh no a year and a half but but because i can't [ __ ] go to the i know it was six months before that because you don't want me to brush your teeth with you on your back i know how much these dry guys each other i feel like dry guys dental hygienist is bought feasible that's cool you know it's mostly i love dentists i'm all about dental yeah it doesn't bother me to go to the dentist except sometimes they're they could be a little jealous you know you're supposed to floss before you brush so i didn't know that but sometimes i do it because i like it more and the reason is when you floss first it feels like you get more you get more gunk on the string you feel like you're more productive and that's actually why you're supposed to floss before i didn't know that really because it's just a habit most of us has a flossing after and here's another crazy thing you're not supposed to rinse your mouth of water after you brush your teeth well how am i supposed to you keep then the fluoride doesn't activate so you just keep the [ __ ] in there same with after mouthwash yeah you can maybe like wash with a mouthwash afterwards but you look stunned yeah you're supposed to keep you're just supposed to keep some of that like fluoride just floating around your teeth and that's silly because that's how it gets on your teeth yeah otherwise you're just kind of like doing something and just getting half the benefits isn't that [ __ ] silly but anyway my teeth were rotting and he went inside and filled a very deep cavity and it was painful and now they put the cap thing in so my jaw doesn't quite clo like my teeth don't quite sit right yet because it takes a couple days like how bad were your cavities they were bad they were not he showed me and i nearly passed out he was he showed me and i was like i'm dying i'm going to be dead within a week here's the thing i did not i don't think i take exceptional care of my teeth yeah um and i never have but i also have never had cavities even now like i don't think i take the best care of my teeth and whenever i go they're like looking good oh everything looks great you could prob i think you could brush more often keith but it also doesn't seem like it bothers you they always get you know the toughest thing for me toughest thing for me is the the gunk that gets on the back of the bottom row on the front like i cannot get that plaque off myself that's that's where that's why you need the dentist the dentist gets that plaque that you can't unplug that's the first song in the musical of the entree people versus the desserts they're like no cavities no cavities no cavities okay i've got i will say one of the things i did ask i was like i mean why do i have these cavities like i brush my teeth it's pretty con like i'm brushing my teeth all the time i never had kevin's kid and she was just like yeah it's genetics there's no like you can brush your teeth all you want but yeah it's just genetics i just lucked out yeah that's one of the things like that here's the thing i got [ __ ] up tongue yeah so the good lord bounces gave me a great deal so you guys want to hear one last really silly thing yes many people will be our last yeah we'll end on this silly moment we're talking about teeth so i have i have something that every dentist when they first meet me at the first upon inspection you they've all said huh and i go what's the huh and they say you have two identical perfect circular black dots on your upper back molars on the same spot and they pick at it and they go but it's not a cavity it's not any sort of like it's literally just a marking and they every single one has joked in some way they go uh you're maybe you're an alien and uh oh my god they can't explain it and every time like you know that hygienist goes in they just like pick it and they're just like no it's just like these like you've been like first mark yeah it's on your teeth yeah so there yeah so then they're like you're you're maybe uh maybe you're uh not who you think you are you have a belly button and i sit there and go am i what if i was what if this is the beginning of a really great like freeform show yeah you know like kyle xy and like little vines come out of those little holes in the back of your teeth and shoot out of your mouth and strangle people you have sex with very happy and it turns out you know what i am the giving tree son ah and i'm bout for revenge oh very nice that's right giving teeth yeah and i'm gonna take because i'm gonna i'm gonna [ __ ] give it to those taken taken boys children guys i'm sorry i said earlier he said i've been thinking i'm just i was trying to explain the truth you don't have to apologize the truth of you know just self-discovery and maybe it went too far it's a natural it's a natural natural thing and i'm just saying i just said you couldn't yeah keith you know what i'm listening to my weird spots and they're telling me you're all good i just don't want anybody to be like oh i don't like keith anymore my tooth spots are also telling me to not put milk and cookies out because you don't want santa to come in your house this year yeah and my two spots are telling me keith his at the tripod theme song i'm so sorry about what i'd say silly make it silly i'm so sorry about what i said you mean to make that imagery pop into your little mind looking around the corner saying is his dad coming or is this mama coming or is his brother's coming or oh is that the dog or oh what's going on in here and i'm in the family office and i can see you through the window it's my favorite part oh yeah you're gonna freak out you're gonna close the window then you go over the window because you got cloak get rid of the history you can't just close the window that's not enough and then maybe someday your mom's like hey were you on this side you're like no that wasn't me that must have been one of my brothers because i'm too young and innocent and thanks for listening to this episode of the tripod oh that's keith haber's burger he has no cavities

Channel: TryPods

Views: 490,636

Keywords: tryguys, keith, ned, zach, eugene, habersberger, fulmer, kornfeld, yang, buzzfeedvideo, buzzfeed, ariel, ned & ariel, comedy, education, funny, try, learn, fail, experiment, test, tryceratops, podcast, advice, miles, miles nation, secrets, show, talkshow, behind the scenes, youtubers, ramble, audio, video podcast, clip, segment, silly, becky, maggie, you can sit with us, try wives, girls, female, women

Id: dLmfpzLnj1U

Length: 80min 56sec (4856 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 10 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/chaikristin]

I loooove these episodes!! I always want them to sing together more haha. I'm so down for a musical episode from them!

[u/trtlsrck]

Okay but Eugene said there’s not a gay character in mama mia and I SWEAR one of the fathers comes out at the end during the wedding...