- In 1965 in Bridgeport,
Connecticut, a college student and a nuclear physicist teamed up to open a sandwich shop
that would help pay for that college
student's college tuition. By 1974, they had 16 locations
and started franchising. It has grown to be a behemoth
in the fast food space. Today, we're eating
everything from Subway. Hey, I also went to
college and in college, I ate a lot of Subway, so
I'm repping my alma mater, Illinois State today. And as always, "Eat the
Menu" is brought to you by Keith's Chicken and
Keith's Burger Sauce. Get yourself some, there's a two-pack. Come on, hit that link, go on and get it. And here's a sneak peek, guys. I'm working on a taco sauce. It's (beeps) over here. I'm working on a taco sauce right now. It's coming out in late May. It's delicious, it's
gonna be green and yes, it does have cinnamon and raisins in it. I know that sounds
weird, it totally works. It's Daddy's favorite. (kisses) It's my favorite. Let's eat the menu. (upbeat music) - Hello, Keith, are you okay? What? You need everything from Subway? Oh, God, Keith, why do you
keep doing this to yourself? (sighs) I'll be there soon. Let's go.
(static crackling) - All right, let's eat the menu. Now we're gonna start
out with the breakfast. There's not a lot of breakfast items, but we're gonna get into it anyway. You might be asking Keith,
why are you in a garage? Well, Becky rightfully made a rule of us not eating all the Subway in the house, so that the house didn't
smell like Subway. Let's start with the coffee. Well, I guess you just
sip it through the hole. (upbeat music)
You know, it's not the best. It's not the worst. I'd certainly drink it
if it was the only option but I don't want any more of it. The Bacon, Egg, and Cheese flatbread. Ooh, ooh. It doesn't smell bad. (light music)
This is pretty good. The bacon flavor is pretty good. The cheese being melted
into the bacon is nice. It's not bad, but it can
certainly use a boost, and I know the best boost for it. That's Burger sauce. Burger sauce on your breakfast
sandwich, my God, it's good. It's so good, especially on bacon. Ooh, so hot. Wow, so early in the
video for a sauce plug, but you know it's gotta happen. (bright country music) Whoa. Is it okay for me be surprised at how good the sauce is every time? Look at the wrappy here. Look at the little wrappy bappy. It's got a lot of egg happening here. This looks like several
eggs are in this wrap. Let's give it a try. Black forest, ham and egg wrap. (bright country music) Whoo! The ham's not bad. The egg tastes like it was fried in water, or they fried it and then
they rinsed it with water. It was very squishy. It was very squishy,
actually, if I'm being honest. The egg was quite squishy. I mean, look at all that egg. You see all that egg? Oh, it's too bright. Well, we're trying our best. Well, I don't know what this is. It looks like another flatbread,
but we're gonna find out. This is just the egg and cheese, yeah, it's the egg, and cheese flatbread. It's gonna taste like the bacon
one without bacon. (sniffs) It smells like a graduation party. I don't know why. In the Midwest, especially, every single one had Mostaccioli. No matter what else is
there, there was Mostaccioli. What's Mostaccioli? Don't worry about it. It's not that good,
but I'm sorry, Midwest, I know you're gonna take offense to that. It's not that good. Eat lasagna instead. Okay, let's have this. This is bland as heck, baby. That's a one-man bland. You know what? I haven't tried any taco
sauce on any eggs yet. I only got this the other day. Now this isn't the final taco sauce. It's a step or two away from final, but it's, I like it, I
think it's very good. Oh wow, that's actually really good. I didn't know if it would be. I was afraid 'cause it's
got a lot of flavor, but it actually works tremendously. So I'm feeling good about it. A Steak, Egg and Cheese wrap. Now that is what I call breakfast. That actually smells kinda like steak. It smells like Philly cheese steak steak. Not like real Philadelphia, you know, like the rest of the
world, how we eat Phillys. Okay. Steak's actually pretty good in this. I remember always liking the
steak sandwiches as a child. I don't have a lot of
experience in Subway breakfast, but this, this is great. I never used to get it,
but I'm not against this. I knew they do have hash browns in some locations, but not ours, so. ♪ Keith is all alone ♪ ♪ Keith is all alone in the garage ♪ ♪ In the garage. ♪ We have some specialty sandwiches here. These are some of the promotional
ones going on right now. The Bacon Tatum sub. I don't know what that means. I got the toppings as recommended. I don't know what's on here at all, but it's got a great name, Bacon Tatum. I think it may be is named after a guy? Almost sounds like you're
saying baked potato. (bright whimsical music) I'm just getting a
jalapeno and bacon flavor. Don't really taste the turkey. You're not getting anything else. It's got a good flavor, I think, but there's a lot of bread. Now that brings up the
controversy of is it even bread? Some places in Europe say no. They say it's a dessert
or a sweet or a cake, 'cause it's got too much sugar. I know, whatever. All of our bread's pretty sweet. So I can say here in
America, it's bread, baby. Let's move on to another
big baller sandwich. This is the Steak big
baller, baller, big baller, Big baller, Draypotle. Oh, God, I don't know if
I'm pronouncing that right. Big baller Draypotle Steak. Looks underwhelming, Dray. I don't see any cheese. The wheat isn't doing much for me. Lots of chew to it, very chewy sandwich. I like the beef better in
the breakfast than in this. The wheat bread, come on. Why would you get wheat bread? It's just so bad. It's not real wheat bread, guys. You're at Subway. The American Club on
Italian Herbs and Cheese. That's one of the ones I used to get. I also used to get that Asiago. Oh, no condiments, oh, no, maybe some, some brown, something that's brown. Maybe it's toasted. Unclear, it's unclear. I wish there was mayo or mustard on this. (upbeat music) The bread's so chewy. There is cheese on this. I think it's American. I don't know why there's
White American cheese. 'Cause we got enough white Americans, you know what I'm saying? All right, it's not spectacular. I'm not like, mm, mm,
I wanna join that club. This is the Big Hot Pastrami. That's a good name. Oh God, this is not big. You can't call something
the Big Hot Pastrami and have it look like this. That's meat. It smells good though. A lizard? A lizard in the garage? Oh, hi lizard! Guys, first ever "Eat the Menu" lizard. You saw it here first. Hey lizard. Now let's have this pastrami sandwich. I'm gonna rip it in half. I wanna take a bite from the middle because the ends just
didn't have enough going on. Yeah, this looks good. Look at that pickle bite. That looks like a good bite. Big Hot Pastrami.
(upbeat music) That's the best of this bunch, for sure. The pastrami is pretty pastrami-y. I think the pastrami
itself is a little chewy, but the flavor's there. I think that's awesome, actually. That's good. I recommend that one. That one's, I might save
that one and eat it later. It's really, it's good. Whoo, I'm feeling good about that. Call your mommy, it's pastrami! I'm sorry. Let's move on to the next thing. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to "Eat the Menu" table
stage, Becky Habersberger. She's already here, she's already here. It's tough to set up by
yourself, so she's already here. Becky, let me just, let me just, I got a lot of refuse here. - Oh my God.
- Becky, Becky- - Uh-huh.
- Wait. - Mm-hmm.
- Becky, one second, Becky, what are your thoughts on Subway? - I think Subway is some of the worst food and reminds me of some of the worst times. You know, we had a Subway
downstairs of our college dorm and you think, oh, that's gonna be great. - It was.
- You get Subway when you're drunk, you get Subway, well, I mean, not when
you're drunk because- - We were sophomores.
- We were sophomores. So we're legally not allowed to drink. You know when you don't
have a hankering for Subway? At 6:00 in the morning when
you're going to your class. 7:00 AM, when you're going to your class, noon, when you're walking to your class, 3:00 PM when you're coming home from- - Wait, why don't you
have a hankering at noon? Noon's a great time for Subway. - You don't have a hankering at noon because you already had it last night. - Okay, Becky, we're gonna have some of your favorites old orders and some other vegetarian options. - Ugh.
(upbeat music) - The Chicken Caesar strips sub. Oh yeah, guys, it just opened right up. It opened like a little
book ready to be read. - Oh, the smell. - It's a little like harder to hold right. It's such a rectangle. It's got such sharp edges for a sandwich. (upbeat music) The bread is very like glue,
you know, just chewy glue. But I'm surprised at how
little flavor there was at all. - It doesn't even taste like a Caesar. - It tastes like nothing.
- It tastes like nothing. - It tastes like nothing. The Veggie Delite sub. I assume this is just
a bunch of vegetables. - Mm-hmm. That's gotta be hard to (beeps) up, right? - Gotta be hard, you'd think? - Give us the white bread.
- It just looks sad, but there's no condiments.
- (gasps) No condiments? - Why would you do this? - On wheat.
- Veggie Delite. It's rude that they put the
word delight there, isn't it? - Yeah. (whimsical music) - The pickles save it. You don't think so?
- No. - This is not a delight.
- Not a delight. - It's really a sham. It's tough out there for
vegetarians as it is. Let alone when this is like
one of the recommended options. This is the Buffalo Chicken sub. Becky loves Buffalo
chicken wraps and subs. Her favorite is from Buffalo Wild Wings. Ooh, it's the jalapeno one. - Ooh, okay, they might
have me on this one. Why is there-
- Look at, this is the food you get. This is why their prices are so low. I can count one, two,
three, four, five, six, seven little inch pieces of chicken, a little bit of ranch, a
little bit of Buffalo sauce. - But are you gonna say,
I bet you it's not ranch. - It's not ranch?
- It looks like it's mayo. - No, it's ranch.
- There's no flecks in it. Look at. (whimsical music) - Inconclusive.
- Eh. - But I don't think it tastes like mayo. I do wish this had lettuce and tomato. This is the one that could use that, but I think that I did say
all the hot sandwiches, let's just get them
without the condiments, because I didn't want the heat
to make the condiments worse. We're in a garage, after all. - There's no cheese? - There's no cheese. - I mean, this coloring is- - Yeah, it's burnt. - It's both burnt and soft. - It's toasted.
(whimsical music) It tastes like a burnt sandwich. - [Becky] Uh-huh. - Yeah, it is kinda soft. - You know what I mean? I feel like the color of burnt. - I do like the choice of the jalapeno. - Yeah, I like the jalapeno. That sounds good. - The jalapenos that were
actually on the sandwich, they're actually pretty mild. They were almost like Keith little jalapenos, almost, almost. The six-inch Turkey sub. (Becky gasps)
A classic. - This was my go-to. I would get turkey with
the white triangle cheese, not sure what kinda cheese it is, - This looks the most like the commercial that we've seen so far, right, like? - [Becky] Oh, well, this
is the cheesy bread. - This is the Asiago cheese.
- I'm okay with the cheesy bread.
- Yeah, it's not bad. It's what you expect,
it's middle of the road. I think this is a good one though to add the flavors of condiments you like and give yourself a fairly good lunch. And this is one of the $5 ones, you know? So I get it. Last but not least for
Rebecca, the Veggie Patty sub. - What? - What the hell is that? Lo, this. - Oh, it's in your lap! - No, just the tomatoes in my lap. - Oh, it looks like something that I can't put my finger on. - Just the pickles and tomatoes in my lap. Nothing big, nothing big.
- What does it look like? It's breaded fish? - Kinda looks like a fish cake. It's got visible carrots in it. - That's how you know,
it's real, you know? - It does have carrot shards in it. That's something. (regal music) Tougher than I expected. - What does it taste like? - Nothing, Becky, it tastes like nothing. The closest thing I could equate it to is really bad, mushy falafel. - That's disgusting, but you know, I didn't expect anything to be good. (Becky gasps)
(metallic clanging) What did you do? - Yeah, that's easily
the worst thing so far. Actually, I don't know. It was tied with the other veggie sandwich-
- The Buffalo. - And the Buffalo.
- The Buffalo was bad. - But this, like, they invented something thinking this'll be a solve,
and it was a mean invention. It's like a Frankenstein monster. - I think it just comes back
to the old Jurassic Park, just because you can- - [Both] Doesn't mean you should. - Yeah. Well, thanks to Becky for dropping by. Make sure you listen to their podcast. "You Can Sit with Us,"
available everywhere podcasts are listened to. Becky, you got anything else going on? You making TikToks now. You're TikToking.
- I put a TikTok up this morning and it has over 100K. - All right, well, thanks
for dropping by, Becky. - Thank you.
- I'll see you later in the house.
- Enjoy the rest of your... - Yeah.
- Tasty treats. Can I have some chips? - No, I have to taste the chips. So then you can have the chips. I gotta figure out what's the
best chip to buy at Subway. - Wow.
- Becky, you didn't even want us to get Subway, so you don't really have
much of a say in it. - All I wanted was the chips. And not the-
- I get it, I get it. - Sandwich, I'm here for the chips.
- Becky Habersberger, ladies and gentlemen.
- Bye! - She's a sweetheart. (dramatic music) - All right, Keith, I
went with the Italian Sub. It's got salami and pepperoni. Generally, I'm not a huge fan of Subway. I am a fan just of
Italian subs in general, so let me give this one a shot. Hmm, it's not bad. I would probably get it again, but I know that there are
better places to get sandwiches. I guess there's also worst places. Can't think of any, but
that's, it's not bad. (whimsical music) - All right, next up, protein bowls and some other bowls, the bowls, salad bowl and classics, I don't know. There's not a good category for this one. Look at that. Look at this. Steak and Cheese Protein Bowl. I have been complaining about the bread. So I do think this is a good alternative. (whimsical music) What place are you in your life where this is your go-to order? Oh, that was awful. Who orders food like that? What meat even could be good like that? But let's move on to something else that's also hilarious
and probably horrible. The Meatball Sub as a salad. You can make anything
as a salad, so why not? And you know, I feel like, as a kid, I remember these meatballs
being a lot bigger. Right? Weren't they bigger as a kid? These looked like pretty
small mother (beeps). That is Chef Boyardee. Let's honor it for a moment and
have it as a (laughs) salad, have it as a salad. Let's get this black olive outta here. It's gonna affect my entire experience. Okay, we've got some tomatoes, spinach, pepper, onion
and meatball, nice salad. I don't hate it. I think that wasn't as bad
as I thought it could be, but I'm never gonna order this. I bet you guys are wondering at what point in this video we're gonna
talk about the myriad of controversies associated with Subway. Not only is their bread not bread maybe, or their fish not fish maybe, we're all forgetting
that for like 10 years, they had a child porn enthusiast
as their main spokesman. (dramatic music) That's all I'll say about that. The Turkey Ham Sub. Is that a real sub on the menu? It's basically the Club without bacon. It's not gonna be as good as the Club. Let's try the Turkey Ham Sub. Could use some oil and vinegar, you know? I think the ham here is not that bad. I've had some bad ham in my life. Here we go, mother (beeps). I think this is the Cold Cut Combo. This was Keith's order
all through his life. I'm so excited. I hope this is as good as
I used to think it was, 'cause I used to eat this, no joke, twice a week, maybe more. Not as good as I remember. I wish that was gonna be better. I thought the CCC was gonna bring it home, the Cold Cut Combo, cold cuts. (somber music)
Cold cuts, cold cuts, cold cuts.
(somber music) Get your arm sliced open with some ice? That's a cold cut. A little ham, cold cut. (somber music) Put ham on your cut, cold cut cut. The Chicken Bacon Ranch. (laughs) (triumphant music) It packed a punch. That actually, that seemed dense. Almost as dense as me. Oh, it's a wrap! Oh God, this looks kinda good. This is what I'm looking for. This looks like an airplane wrap for sure. An airport wrap, I should
say, but this one's good. The bacon I've liked before, the chicken I thought it was flavorless, so that means it's gonna
taste like a lot of bacon but have the feeling of a lot of chicken. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! That took a long time to chew through. I thought that was actually
a really good bite. My only critique is I
tasted almost no ranch. Right now, this could be a top contender, the Chicken Bacon Ranch Wrap. Also, it's fun to say. Now we have one actually special thing I'm gonna do real quick. At Try Guys, we have a Patreon, and we have some higher
tier members and levels. We got some submissions
from Laura Kleinfelter, Jenny Hill, Athena ZH and Jessica Campos. There are lots of good
submissions but I really liked what Jenny Hill thought we should do, which is a sandwich with all of the meats and another sandwich with
all of the vegetables and all of the sauces. Oh my Lord, look at this mess. It is nasty looking.
(triumphant music) Hold on, let me, it's not
even holding itself together. Everything is sort of all over the place. We have all the sauces,
all the vegetables. I guess this is like the
ultimate vegetarian sandwich. And earlier I complained
that the Veggie Delite didn't have enough flavor. This is gonna give us all the flavor. (triumphant music)
Oh boy. It's so messy. It's a whirlwind. Oh my God, that was intense. Hands down, this is the best
sandwich I've eaten so far, but it is wet, it's tangy, it's sour. There's avocado, I
didn't even know, I was, I tasted something mushy and
I freaked out for a second, and thank God, it was avocado. (bright music) Mm, this is actually really good. Oh my Lord, look at this. (mysterious music)
Look at this. We've got our Cold Cut Combo
on top of Chicken and Bacon and Meatballs and oh my God and steak? This is chaos. Look at this (beeps) chaos, guys. This is amazing. I'm gonna try and get
everything into one bite (mysterious music)
Hmm. The meatball's the most powerful thing. As good as the all vegetables,
all sauces sandwich was, the all-meat sandwich is equally bad. For every action, there's
an equally opposite reaction and that is very well exhibited in these sandwiches, but we did it. Thanks to Patreon. Check out our Patreon
at patreon.com/tryguys. And now get, your butts
ready because the sweetest, cutest Try Guy is about to head onboard. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the "Eat the Menu"
table stage, Zach Kornfeld! (dramatic music) - So we meet again. Hello, Sam here back for another
edition of "Eat the Menu" and this time we're going to Subway, where you can eat fresh. (laughs) Oh baby, oh. Okay, so when I go to Subway, my order usually is the Buffalo Chicken on jalapeno cheddar bread,
jalapenos, do it big, Swiss cheese, toasted, of course, just for the biggest,
spiciest thing you can get. It looks like this. Is it the best sandwich you've ever had? No, but it's consistent. You're gonna get the same thing and it's gonna be fine. Eat fine, that should be their slogan. Not eat fresh, eat fine. - All right, Zach is now with us to try some of Zach's old faves. - Keith, I loved Subway. - You did?
- Like, 100, yes. I survived on Subway for so many years. 'Cause you got the five. ♪ Five dollar ♪
- And you get- ♪ Five dollar footlong ♪ - You get the two sandwiches. - Boom, boom.
- One for lunch, one for tomorrow. - Or you just get real. - I would also-
- Go to town. I maintain, to this day, to this moment, that walking into a Subway is the greatest smell experience on the planet. Their bread rocks my (beeps) world. - Wow, in complete contrast
to my reviews so far in this video.
- No way! - Both that we weren't allowed
to do this in the house because of the smell and second, that all of these sandwiches so far, the bread is like so
much work to get through for the tiny amount of
filling that we've gotten. - Well, you know, it's not bread. Yeah.
- America has lower standards. So here, it's bread. - Subway, obviously you customize. - Well, yeah.
- I never really did. I did a couple times,
but I think you found that, I think the sandwich
artists, and they are artists, they know what they're doing. - [Keith] Yeah, "Candid Competition" lets you know they're artists. - [Zach] They are artists. - This is the BMT, which has
pepperoni, salami and ham. - Cheers. (sandwiches crunching)
(light music) If I close my eyes, I have
no idea what meat that is. This could be any sandwich on the planet. This is the most basic. - At the end, you taste
the pepperoni, I think. - (laughs) I think? I just need to try these one at a time. - You can tell it's ham- - Wow, there are three
different types of meat in here! - [Keith] Yeah, it's got
salami, pepperoni, and ham. - Okay, hold on. Turkey.
- It's ham. The salami tastes-
- Oh, the salami's good. It tastes like a Lunchable salami. I like that, but mushier. - Wow, it's impressive that those meats do have that much flavor-
- Whoa. - But that's what I'm
saying about the bread. The bread kills the sandwich. - There's a ton of flavor.
- Right? - You ever made bologna tunnels? - I don't think I'd call them tunnels. What makes them a tunnel? - It was a snack my dad would make. He would take bologna, roll
it up in a little tunnel. - That's not a tunnel. - Yeah, it's-
- A tunnel goes through things - Yeah.
- It's a roll. - What is this? It's a meat tunnel. Okay, maybe it's a meat cave. - It's a tunnel for like an ant. - Okay. I didn't know that we
were against ants here. - Oh, well, we're gonna
move to his favorite. This was a special request
from Zach Korndiddy himself, the six-inch Meatball sub. - I cannot imagine this will hold up, but there was a five-year
period of my life where the Meatball sub from Subway was my most frequented meal. At least once a week, sometimes three. I'm sorry, man, the sandwich just (beeps). - Well, let's try it. This is just, I mean, this
is the white bread roll. This is what it would be. Soft. - I had low standards. - Soft. It is like a spreadable meat. - Mm, I'm coming back around to this. I don't know, I think it's fun to eat. You know, like the little
balls, like hum, hum, feel like Pac-Man? - They don't feel like balls. - I'm like Pac-Man. I feel powerful when I eat it.
- Don't they look smaller than you remember it, too? - They are.
- I remember them being- - Like big, big meatballs.
- Big meatball. - All right, hey, guys.
- Why is it flat? - 'Cause it's the flatbread. Which, so far, I actually
like the flatbread a lot. This is the Ham Flatbread.
- Oh, why is it so wet? - It's really wet.
- Why is it so wet? - Hold on.
- Oh my God. - You need to see this, this like, soaked. Oh, it is so dang wet.
- Ugh. - Can you tell? Is it shiny? I don't know if it's shiny. It is slippery slidey. Ew, it is unattractive. - Yeah.
- It's wet like feta. - The surface of it looks like tempeh. Mm, pickley. I would say this one
is a textural failure. Be careful what you wish for, because you wanted different bread, and I would say we've been
punished for that wish. - I think it's the ham's fault
for making the bread all wet. - The wet ham? - 'Cause you know how cold cuts are wet? - They're wet.
- Why are they wet? - Well, they stay in, they're
like in a little bath. - Or are they just sweaty? Do they get the meat sweats?
- No, that's gross. - I think they get the meat sweats. Let's try the BLT. - Also, even before the
whole molestation thing, he was walking to
basically harass a woman. There was an employee-
- Oh, right. - Did not want his
advances, and she moved. She moved to a different Subway chain. He's like, I'm gonna find you. - He turned that into a career. Jesus.
- So (beeps) you, Jared! - Come on, America. All right, this is the BLT wrap. Zach and I had BLTs yesterday. - Yeah.
- We both like BLTs. - [Zach] It smells like bacon bits, but they didn't chop it up.
- Mm-hmm. It's a lot of bacon. Like a lot. - It tastes fine, but again,
texturally a failure for me. - The lettuce is very like,
just like crunchy water. - Have you tried this yet? - No.
- All right. I'm gonna take a sip.
- It's just unsweetened tea. It can't be that bad. It can't be that bad. - Right? Can't be that bad.
- Can't be that bad. - Can't be that bad.
- Not that bad. - Not that bad. - But this is the Turkey, Bacon, Guac sub, and it's got something orange on it. This is a good amount of turkey,
some avocado, some bacon, some Buffalo sauce, I think. Oh, it's Creamy Sriracha. - Oh yes. Okay, this is my second
favorite Subway sandwich. - Whoa.
- Yes! Okay, I fell off the Subway train hard, but they brought me back in
with this Sriracha sandwich. I feel the sandwich is like
five years old, if even. I was dating my fiancee when I went willingly to eat this sandwich. I went out of my way to get this sandwich and I'm like, Oh my God,
I'm gonna do that again. Let's see how it holds up. - Let's try it. Ooh, hotter than I expected. - This is good. Should you go out of your way to get it? No.
- No, I don't think so. - But-
- It's really hot. I'm surprised at the kick, this is hotter than the jalapenos that
were on a sandwich. There were jalapenos on a
sandwich and it wasn't this hot. - Mm, and you know what? The creaminess it's finally
like working with the bread. You get the creaminess of the avocado, the flavor of the turkey shining through. - [Keith] Yeah, the texture works. - The little bit of salty
bacon actually is helping here. This is the symphony. - Anyway, Subway's cool. But you know what's even cooler, or should I say hotter? The Zach and Keith Hot Box. We still have some plus keep an eye out, we're gonna be having different hot sauce and tea combinations coming soon. So make sure you're following
Keith and Zach on Instagram. Also Zadiko Tea Co. - Green sauce, green
tea, together at last. Hotbox limited edition, get yours, bitch. - Yeah, bitch? - While we wait for
Eugene, you wanna just do a talk show segment? - Yeah! So Zach, I know that
things are going well. You got engaged, very exciting. Now do we have any estimates
of when the wedding will be? - Oh my God. - Hey, we just cut out a bunch of stuff. Me and Zach chatted a
little about weddings and what's going on in the pandemic. You can catch that on Patreon. Now joining me on the
"Eat the Menu" table stage in the garage, Eugene
Lee Yang. (applauding) ♪ Dun, dun, dun, dun ♪ ♪ Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, duh ♪ Wow. You know, Subway's bread is cake. And I got some cake right here. All right, that's enough. Sit down, Eugene. - How's it been going so far? - Well, it's been a little underwhelming, if I can be honest. - That's the general Subway experience. - Yeah. - Wait, are you just
having it with no toppings? - Yeah, so I, to be fair- - Of course it's gonna taste strange. - Well, yes, but to be
fair, 'cause everyone orders Subway their own way. To judge the sandwich,
I needed to judge it in its purest form. - The whole point of Subway is to add- - It's Chicken Teriyaki.
- Vegetables on it. - It's Chicken Teriyaki, though. Like, and the flavor is
in the Chicken Teriyaki. If it isn't good by itself, then it doesn't deserve condiments. - I just don't think
anyone over the age of five has ever ordered Subway
sandwiches like you have. - Well, maybe this was a
special for five year olds. Maybe this episode is for the kids. - Little Timmy, what would you like on your Chicken Teriyaki sandwich? - Chicken Teriyaki.
- No vegetables? - No.
- Just a little lettuce? - No. - So just the bread and the meat? - Yeah.
- Okay. - It's what I want. Thanks, Dad. - All right.
- All right, Chicken teriyaki and nothing. - This is one of my favorites. (Keith coughing)
This is why it's dry. You only have bread and meat products. - I know what mustard tastes like, Eugene. - Mm-hmm. I don't know if y'all remember. Maybe some of you viewers are too young. There's like sandwich wars
that happened with fast food. So Subway was like the dominant king and then Quiznos came out. - Ooh, yeah.
- And Quiznos- ♪ Quiznos Subs ♪ - Had a more gourmet take on the subs and they also have toasted it. Now it's more about like the Jimmy John's. - [Keith] Yeah, and Jersey Mike's. - Jersey Mike's.
- I think Jersey Mike's is probably-
- Yeah. - The top dog. I like Jimmy. John's a
lot, but I can't like them, because their owner is a
big game hunter, a big jerk. - Boo. - But he did, he made good sandwiches. It's upsetting. - I think now people are most into local gourmet sandwich shops. - Hell yeah.
- Yeah. - [Keith] I think delis. - [Eugene] Yeah, (beeps) delis. - [Keith] Like straight up delis. - You just Google or Yelp
best sandwich in this city, that's where you should go. - You should go there.
- Yeah. - And how did I open this? What happened? I don't know what happened. - You're like the kid who's
too impatient on Christmas. - I didn't think that, I
don't know how that happened. Steak and Cheese.
- I'm excited to try it. (whimsical music) You know what this steak tastes like? - Hmm? - You ever see on a menu Salisbury Steak? - Yeah. - That cut or flavor
that's hard to pinpoint. - It does have that
flavor, not the texture. - No, but it's got the
cafeteria steak flavor. - See, I thought it
tasted like unseasoned, unmarinated Beef Bulgogi, because it is cut like Bulgogi, in a way. - The way you said that is so funny. - Bulgogi, Bulgogi. - (laughs) Bulgogi. - Bulgogi. Beef Bulgogi. - I mean, it's not awful,
it does have sort of a- - It's a little tiny bit sweet- - Chopped up texture.
- It is chopped, sliced. - I'm actually, I don't hate it. - I don't hate it.
- I don't hate it. What's the next one?
- The Roasted Chicken sub. It's on a flatbread. This time, we do have some toppings. You're gonna be excited. It looks like an old Nokia phone. - Flatbread is sticking to the paper. - The chicken also is
really upsetting, isn't it? - The cross section is, it's plastic. - Yeah, it, look at the
chicken, it's rubbery. I don't like this, 'cause
it's very deceitful because this is chicken
that's been processed, cut up, and then reformed to look like it was just a chicken breast. - It's like nugget chicken. - It's nugget chicken, but it's like not got any breading,
so it's really creepy. - But it's weird, 'cause
I've eaten this type of processed chicken so much
that I just recognize it- - I know what it tastes like.
- As a form of chicken. - I know what it tastes like.
- Right? It's like chicken nuggets. - I know what it tastes like.
- You know that it's not real chicken, but you're-
- It's chicken enough. - It's chicken paste. - It's chicken enough.
- Yeah. ♪ Dum, bum, bum ♪ ♪ It's chicken enough ♪ - Okay.
(upbeat country music) You know what I like about that? There's toppings. (laughs) - Yeah, but do you even taste the chicken? - No, it's pretty bland. - See, that's why I have
to take the toppings off, because otherwise, every
sandwich would taste exactly the same, it'd just
taste like the toppings. Not good. This is the Spicy Italian sub. - Yeah.
- Look at that Hey, guys, we got grease! - Yeah, yeah, yeah! - That's the first grease of the day. Grease Lightning! All right, let's go for it. (upbeat country music) Well, the Italian meats shine through. - Definitely one of the more
flavorful ones I've tried. - Did your college have the pizzas? - Uh-huh. Were they discontinued too? I did not like those. - Really? But you could make a pepperoni pizza. But I had one on my meal plan, you see. - It sounds like you had
Stockholm Syndrome with food, and you were just appreciative
that you were not having a sandwich every day. You were like, oh my God, I got a pizza! - Yes, you nailed it!
- Nah. - All right, last but
not least, the tuna wrap. I'm glad that we got to the fish last. - I love tuna. I love a good tuna sandwich. - Oh, why is it a wrap? Oh, this should be on bread. For once, I want it on bread.
- Okay, well. - [Keith] This has
recently come under fire for maybe not being fish.
- What is it? - I don't know, but they said it's not enough fish to be fish. - [Eugene] But is kinda like
Taco Bell's beef is not enough to be beef, but the rest is like soy? - Yes.
- Ah. - Something like that. Okay, let's try the tuna on the wrap. - All right. Yeah, I'd eat that. - Actually, yeah, it's pretty good. If you like tuna, I
think you'll like this. It's not the best tuna salad in the world. - Everything at Subway reminds me of if you have a grocery store chain that makes sandwiches or subs or wraps, they all taste kinda in that category. - Except Publix. - Except Publix.
- Publix is, whoo. - Publix could be number one. - Man, I should "Eat the Menu" Publix. - You should sit in the Publix doing it. - Oh my God, I should sit in
the Publix doing it. (laughs) - Wawa has good sandwiches, too. - Wawa does have really good sandwiches. - But you're more of a Publix boy. - I even like Sheetz.
- Really? Sheet. - Okay, so those are all the sandwiches, but Subway's not just about sandwiches. It's about the chips you
pair your sandwich with, and we have the Rank
King with us right here. - Where? - So Eugene, we're gonna go ahead, and very quickly, do a
"Rank King" of the chips that you can get at Subway. - I'm gonna start with the standard. Let's start with the Dorito.
(upbeat music) - Doritos are definitely in
my top tier chip experience. (upbeat music) - Doritos are amazing, however, I don't know if I want
Doritos with sandwiches. That's my thing. It's not a sandwich chip. - It's not a back and forth.
- It's not a back and forth. - It's a finish your
sandwich, then eat your chips. - Exactly. So Doritos, while a king of chips, I'm gonna put it in the middle right now.
- Mm-hmm. - Let's go to this BBQ Lays. - BBQ Lays. Fun fact, BBQ Lays were
a chip that I had once right before getting the stomach flu, so I threw up BBQ Lays,
and for like 10 years, I didn't want BBQ chips,
but now I'm back on. Now I'm back in. - Again, it's not really
a sandwich chip for me, but that's just my opinion. - I agree with you, however,
it was commonly served with sandwiches on elementary
school field trips. - Well, that's 'cause you're in the South. - Uh-huh.
(Eugene laughs) Uh-huh. I probably want it less than the Dorito. - Yeah, that's tough, though, because they're both kinda similar. They're strong. Sun Chips are always in Subways. - Absolutely, they are. - They're always in Subways, and they have a different texture. - They have a loud bag. This one isn't the loudest bag, though. They have, the Vick ones are the loud bag. (Keith crunching)
- While it's cheesy, it's not as cheese dominant as a Dorito. So if I'm having a sandwich experience, I kinda like this texture
with the Subway sub. - It's also bread. - Yeah.
- It's wheat. It's not potato, it's bread. - Remember, this is not
my rank for actual chip. - No.
- It's for chip while eating a Subway sandwich.
- Yes. - So I'm putting that above these two. - This is a mini "Rank King."
- The Baked Lays. I admittedly got a lot of these when I was trying to be healthy. However, I've kinda stopped that, because who gives a (beeps) about? - Who gives a (beeps)? It's like you're gonna lose the weight. - Yeah, this is just my opinion. I think that as we move forward in time, we look back at branding that
is heavily reliant on diet, like 65% less fat.
- Yeah, diet culture, - Diet culture. I missed out on so many delicious
chip eating experiences. - Yeah!
- How dare they? Trying to trick me. - It's like, how much fat
you eat is not necessarily how much fat you gain. - I think this has to go at the bottom. - I think that they're bad. - Now I saved these for last, because I personally really
like Kettle cooked potato chips. - I'm with you. - And I think they're
great with sandwiches. - They're, you're totally right. - So we have sea salt
and vinegar and jalapeno, so let's try them and switch. - Okay.
(upbeat music) Mm-hmm, oh, shit, that's
really good. (crunches) (upbeat music)
And it's not that spicy. It definitely has a kick and
it heats up as you eat it. - Okay, so I'm making a decision. I think these go at the top. - Yeah, they're really good. - Kettle style potato chips
are great with sandwiches, they give you the crunch that you need. I'm just gonna eke out
sea salt at the top, because the sea salt and vinegar is just the flavor that
it punches through. - It's a classic.
- When you have so much bread and so much meat, I
just think it's like a, almost like a cleanser. - Yeah, and plus, like
a lot of good sandwiches have salt and vinegar and oil on them. - Yep.
- Right? And this chip is fried in oil
and it's salt and vinegar. So I just, it is an extension
of the sandwich experience. - So this is my final ranking for the Subway chip experience. You should get a kettle cooked salt and vinegar Ms. Vickie's. You can get your Baked Lays if you want, but it's just gonna made you sad. - Yeah, I think it's correct. I maybe would flip these two, but I understand why.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. For Subway. It seems like I just need to
do a "Rank King" for chips. - You do need to do a
"Rank King" for chips. - Yeah, this might change if it was- - Yeah, yes, I think so. But for sandwiches, this makes sense. - All right, well, I'm gonna
go hang out with your wife. - All right.
- So, have fun finishing your cookies?
- Yeah. - Okay.
- That's it. It's time for our just desserts. (whimsical music) Well, we've finally made it. What fun guests we had, but now, it's time for our just desserts. Everybody knows that
Subway's got cookies, baby, and their cookies, I remember
them being pretty good. Let's start with the classic,
the chocolate chip cookie. Huh.
(upbeat music) Mm-hmm, that's good,
it's got a good crunch while still having good chew. That's what you want with a
cookie, the outside to crunch in but the inside to be
gooey-ooey, yummy-yummy. Ooh, you wanna dunk that in some milk, or you wanna take a swig of coffee. Mm, it's a really good cookie. We're gonna move on to
this little curious boy. This little pink and white confusion. I assume it's... Raspberry? It kinda smells like a Popsicle,
if I'm being 100% honest. Let's try it.
(dramatic electronic music) Mm, a lot thicker, more cakey. It is raspberry. I'm not getting nuts, so I
don't think there are nuts. It's good, but it's not as
good as the chocolate chip. Oh, maybe it is a nut. It's got a little bit of a crunchier bite. The nuts aren't nutty enough, you know? A little buttery, too. There's actually a lot to
like about that cookie. Yeah, I take it back. I think it's a pretty good cookie. Let's get into the softest
of all, yes, look at it. Ooh, it bends, baby. That's an oatmeal raisin
cookie, Daddy's favorite. Even Subway gets it. They like their share of Daddies, too. Let's try this cookie.
(regal music) Mm. Their cinnamon sugar
blend is (beeps) on point. Really good chew, so soft,
really sweet, though. A sugary, sugary cookie. I thought I was getting through this video without feeling (beeps)
up, but I honestly, I do feel kinda (beeps) up. I'm really full. I didn't like much of it. It was just so mediocre. But we're not there yet. Okay, what other cookies? Talk about the cookies. ♪ Tell them more about the cookies ♪ ♪ Which ones you would recommend ♪ ♪ Tell them which one
they should purchase ♪ ♪ When their sandwich construction ends ♪ ♪ Which cookie you want ♪ ♪ Depends on what cookie you like ♪ ♪ Because they're all good cookies ♪ ♪ They're separate verticals ♪ (upbeat music)
It is time to decide the best and the least best. Let's start with the least best. I'm thinking back through my sandwiches, and which I liked the least. There's a few things I
wanna say are the best, but I also wanna say that overall, the vast majority of the
menu is complete mediocrity. The breakfast were like kinda good, the sandwiches were mostly fine or meh, or underwhelming, and while yes, you can style the sandwich to be better, that doesn't meant the sandwich is good. That means you, the customer,
are making something good out of what they have. So maybe the best thing
Subway has are the customers. Maybe it's the collaboration
between customer and artist, making something amazing out
of the pile of mediocrity that stands between them,
under that sneeze guard, between the masses of
consumption and production, but I think that there are good sandwiches to be had and made there. There were some that I was like, yeah, that's pretty good, yeah, that's not bad. The Italian sandwich, so
much flavor in that pepperoni and salami that I tasted it, at least. I think it was pretty good. The cookies were outstanding. The cookies were really good, and the sauces there are great. But if you're really going to Subway, and you don't have a lot of time to think about what you want,
I'd say grab a bag of chips and a cookie and get outta there. But that's it. This has been "Eat the Menu." I ate everything. I'm sorry to those who
somehow disagree with me, but you're wrong. There's a lot of people
sometimes, who tweet at me, being like, Keith didn't
have, he's wrong about this. You know what? I have eaten the entire menu of over 10 fast food restaurants. (sighs) I'm sorry, we shouldn't fight. Subway's made me upset. It was just so mediocre. But thanks for watching. Thanks to Becky, thanks
to Zach, thanks to Eugene. Make sure you follow all of them. Check out "Guilty Pleasures." Check out the Zach and Keith Hot Box. Check out Zadiko Tea. Check out all of the amazing things that Eugene is doing. This has been "Eat the Menu." I'm in my garage. Hope y'all have a fantastic day. Tweet at me some places
or write in the comments where you think I should
eat the menu up next. All right, love y'all. Peace to the babies. Peace to the babies out there. (kisses) (Blowing kisses)
(upbeat music) - Oh, is Becky there? Put her on.
(upbeat music) Hi Becky. (laughs) I'm talking on, I'm talking to
you on my sub phone. (laughs) Crazy, right? I tried to tell Keith earlier, I was like, why are you doing this, man? Maybe you could talk some sense into him. The people love it, you're right. The people love it.
I find it more validating than it probably should be when Keith likes my go to order at a fast food place.
Am I the only one simping for Jonathan? 😂😂
I love them and I love Keith. Of all places though, I didn’t need them to tell me that Subway is mediocre at best.
.he said it couldn’t be done...