- In 1953, a restaurant chain was born. It would grow to have 15,000 locations in 100 countries, and in
1953, in a little town in Florida, it was born
as Instaburger King. One year later, it would
be called Burger King. (regal music) Today, I will eat
everything from Burger King, America's second favorite
burger restaurant. (driving music) Burger King and Jack in the Box have cornered the market on scaring their consumers into buying their food. Burger King especially, they just had that silent demon mascot for so long. He was like looking in
windows and being spooky. (woman screams) I've eaten three fast food
menus so this is number four. At this point, I'm probably 90, 95% vegan, so I'm gonna do this video still because I wanna see how
that affects me now. You know now that I'm healthy, how much does this
unhealthy stuff hurt me? Here we are at Burger King, let's order way too much food and take it on back. Let's start with breakfast;
the pancake platter and the double croissan'wich, the fully loaded croissan'wich, king
croissan'wich, a rodeo king, crispy chicken
sandwich, french fries, hash browns, onion rings,
yeah I'll take the tacos. That's it, that's all I need. Thank-you so much I really appreciate it. I feel like I'm breathing in calories. Can you feel it?
- [Alex] It is like heavy - It's heavy air, I'm actually going to eat the fries right now because fries obviously have a
very short shelf life. I wanna give 'em the
best opportunity, because you know Burger King's
fries are not like notable. Wow, they're not good.
It smells like a Funyun. I mean it tastes kinda like a Funyun. But it's way better than french fry. I do love little hash brown discs, I got nothing to complain about there that is a good hash, can I have another hash brown?
- Yeah sure - I did train for today by getting a little bit drunk at
Buffalo Wild Wings last night (trumpet blaring) Let's start out with the
coffee, it smells fine. (sips coffee)
It's not good. This is just a egg and
cheese croissan'wich. It's great, the cheese and egg is very balanced, I'd say this is a top notch breakfast sandwich. This is a sausage, egg and cheese biscuit. Fuck yeah that is a buttery biscuit. This is the bacon, sausage, I don't know what the fuck that is, it's ham. Oh my God! It's every meat. The fully loaded fuck
me up biscuit breakfast (laughs) Sometimes less is more, I know king's rarely say that but sometimes less is more, and this is more. This is so much more, three or more pigs. We're gonna hit these pancakies. This is proof right now to me, that those sandwiches which is all
these things together, way better than the individuals. The double croissan'wich, I can feel the heartburn
knockin' on my door. These are french toast sticks, very sweet, it's almost like a churro. It's cake, it's deep fried cake. It's not bread it's cake.
Wow, that's incredible. Isn't this the same? Isn't this the triple triple fuck me up? Oh,
it's the croissan'wich triple fuck me up, It's
better than the biscuit. This is the bacon, sausage, God fuck. Burger King should do what
KFC is doing, and just make like weird products that aren't food. The Burger King air freshener. Now this is what I expect a king to eat. Two eggies, two sausages, two cheeses and two pieces of
(sniffs) buttered toasted sourdough. This is all too much, too much. Only my mouth is tall enough to do this, like who's your market? Look at the little dick next to this cabin, that's not a silo, that is a dick, they got you Burger King your graphic designers snuck a dick in. Oh, these are the funnel cake fries. It kinda turned into gum. So that's breakfast, now I know people have been concerned about the food waste, you know I did only eat a bite of each of these things. So we're going to actually show you footage of our employees eating the food. (laughs)
- It's really soft - Oh my God, they're so bad. (trumpet blaring) - We got all the burgers that they have right here, but actually oops we forgot two things from breakfast so we're just gonna
quickly get through those. That's the first oops
(burping) This is the fully loaded burrito, and this is the baby loaded burrito baby. It's good, yeah that bite was great. I mean look at how much globs of cheese is goin on in there, looks like a rat got into it or something. Look at the little baby. This is the number one breakfast item at Burger King, this is great because you get all the flavor of the innards without like the extra oil and grease of the
croissant or the biscuit. It's really good texturally, I think that this keeps the moisture in all the meat and ingredients a lot better than the other things because it's nicely like, it's soft, it's chewy. I think this is going to
get the first double bite. It's time to be the burger king. I got my trusty bucket, he's back. Hi. What's it say? Well I'm going to be bucketing all day (laughs)
I bet - [Alex] Move the K
(laughs) - Here we go, bucket, bucket king. This is it, this is like probably what they first started with just like McDonalds, it looks exactly the same. But they're burger are flame broiled, I've always loved that about Burger King. I don't like fried patties,
I like grilled patties. - [Voiceover] Flame broiled
We do it like you do it and we do it like we'd
do it at Burger King. - Definitely too much bread
here it's a bucket burger. Let's try the cheeseburger, it tastes exactly like a hamburger. Wooh. Now the bacon cheeseburger, I mean it has a little more bacon flavor you can drop another 30 cents on that it does change it up
a little bit, but why? Let's eat this fuckin thing, this is a king burger, this
might be lord burger. So the rodeo burger, is known for its bacon, two beef patties, barbecue sauce and onion rings. Yeehaw. Will you look at how
big this beef patty is? Onion ring flavor, great, barbecue sauce flavor, great, meat
flavor, little too much but the buns are not overshadowing anything here, you don't
even taste the bread. It might as well just be wrapped in beef. The sweetness of it makes it not taste like the other burgers so I'm going to leave it there for now. Oh it's so wet at the bottom of this. Burger King's got tacos
(bell ringing) It's like crispy like a burger, but then it's mushy like tacos underneath. I think that's a burger patty chopped up, that's what I would do if I was running the restaurant chain. (crunching)
Good crunch It's not a taco, but it's good. So that's a beef item that they sell, that's totally not like the burgers so that's unique, it's a fresh offering. It did make me sweat a little bit. The girls are getting the taco. Alright this is the SBK,
the spring break king. Sourdough bacon king,
yep you got it right. Way too much bread, but the sauce and the onions and the bacon together, actually really good. This sourdough bread is garbage, Burger King get it out of here. Just use your buns, your buns are great. Oh my God, the mustard. Oh this is the double quarter pounder. A staple at McDonalds
they're just like we'll steal it You make a burger I want, it's mine. I'm the Burger King. It just tastes like a grown up version of their basic burgers,
so this guy is a bucket. Going in the bucket
(burps) Oh my gosh. Big XL king, I'm gonna be just honest it looks like a whole car. He's not just a burger
king, he's a bacon king. Fuck tons of ketchup and mayo
(laughs) So much beef, it tastes
like the other ones. The double sourdough
king, it's so much beef. It's whopper time, which
means it's Becky time. Everybody welcome to the
stage Becky Habersberger. Welcome Becky
- Yay, thank-you, thank-you - How are you my beautiful wife? - I'm good, I'm a little hungover so I thought this would be fun. - Yeah so I brought
you in for the whoppers because the whoppers a signature dish at Burger King, and you're like my signature. - Okay - You might notice there's a scale on the table, this is because I have a theory that I'm
gonna test right now. Boom boom, it's Shane Dawson. Oh my God. So the whopper is three hundred and twenty seven grams and it cost five dollars and ninety nine cents the whopper junior, which is one ninety nine it weighs one hundred and sixty five grams. With the price of a whopper you could buy three whopper juniors and that would roughly
go out to like 480 grams. Way more food, same price, same flavors. They're trying to get us to pay more for this, even though
this is the better deal. Okay lets try this, do you
wanna Lady and the Tramp it? Whopper is my favorite
burger from fast food, so it's gonna live right out here. Lets try the whopper junior, you just take a bite first
cause it's very small. I'll try to find you the least mayo spot. - Why don't you just take
the top bun off? -Eugh - That's bad, dry.
- I would say that the bread a little bit overpowers this, so you should probably buy three whopper juniors, take off the top buns, smash them all together into a ball. Put them in your mouth and just be happy. And I think he's going in the bucket. This is the two beef whopper, the tiny bits on the top, so good. I also eat whoppers upside down so that my tongue meets the
flavor before the meat. - That is disgusting
- Yeah, it's too much beef Oh my God! This burger looks
like it's drenched in blood. I thought they just put a human
organ in between the buns. (slurping sounds)
- Ohh - It just tastes like
eating barbecue sauce. But it is a different flavor profile, so it's not gonna go in the bucket. The bacon whopper king, also look at this tomatoes it's just
sticking out like a tongue. - Blehh
- Just Doesn't that look pretty
commercial worthy. That's probably the prettiest burger shot we've gotten all day. It has that problem that Taco Bell lettuce has, where it tastes odd. So we learned that this many burgers, taste pretty much the same. These are the four burger
profiles they offer, whopper with a bunch of barbecue, a normal burger with a bunch of barbecue, a burger with like a frisco sauce, and a traditional whopper. Lets move on to some
chicken, thank you Becky - It tastes weird when you go from beef to chicken
- Mhmm - It's like a weird transition - Lets start with the fish
(laughs) Its been through a long
journey since it was swimming. I don't know why you're ordering this sandwich at Burger King. And to help me start out the chicken, I'm bringing long time great best friend of mine Marc the shark, Businsky. Let me get you a chair
- Oh yeah - Watch out Marc, get back Marc - Oh I'm watching - You may have seen Marc in some videos here and there, he was obviously one of my
best men in my wedding. - I came from Burger King, I'm getting chicken and I think that's great. - Chicken fries, we're gonna try all the dips here we got sweet n' sour, honey mustard ranch, zesty garlic I think, buffalo and barbecue
sauce we'll try all these throughout the different
chickens we're trying. So this is fun for
children, cause children like to pretend they love cigarettes. - I did that with Pretzel Logs constantly. - Of course you did
- Hey Jimmy, you wanna go get me some chicken fries. - Nyeah I'll get you some Jimmy. What's one word to
describe the chicken fries? - Gooey
- Oh shit, look at these - Whoa
- Hold the fucking phone - Just from the finger appeal, this feels better than the chicken fries. - It's like a little high heel boot. - Almost everything I want
from a chicken nugget. - Really?
- Yeah, got a lot of crunch feels like for the most
part a real tender. - Mhm, what's the zesty taste like? - Oh, pretty weird, if
you had a lemon and then you rubbed it around
a cleaning mop bucket. - It's way better than chicken fry, I know that people are excited about the chicken fries, these chicken tenders blow their dicks apart. - Okay, we got the nugget, what's your one word description
of the chicken nugget? - Chalky
- Look how thin it is Give it up for Marc
(clapping) Here's the chicken junior, it's
a junior chicken. Fuck that. We got a chicken sandwich, it kinda tastes like pork, kinda like it though. It looks like salmon, why is it orange? This is the crispy chicken club. This is great, it's very fatty, it's very luxurious, the crunch of the chicken is really great. The bacon blends well with the flavors, cheese is nice, it's a
balanced chicken sandwich. (burping)
Fried Chicken Sandwich. It's very underwhelming, I don't know what this is called, it's probably like some fuckin rodeo
chicken sando or something. What is it? Is it cheese? What is it? (yelling) Oh it feels
awful, it feels like jell-o Lets eat this, lets eat
this chicken junior. This is oh, I hated this when it was spicy so I don't think
I'll like it this way. No. Oh this is the onion ring one
- Wait no that's an onion ring - It is?
- Yeah there's - Oh I thought there was
fish on the cheeseburger - I don't want to taste it - Sweet, salty, meaty,
crunchy it's got it all. And this one also has the weird
thing going on. What is it? When it's on the chicken especially, it looks, but there was
mostly women working and this looks like male ejaculate. And they couldn't have ejaculated on all these sandwiches,
nobody can cum that much. Alright everybody it's time, you've been asking for him Korndiddy time. - Hi thankyou, thankyou
- Ba ba ba ba ba bam bah - Thankyou
- Zach Kornfeld - I'm very excited to be here Keith, I was a Burger King kid
through and through. I feel like there was a turf war in the playground
- Definitely. - You were either team McDonalds, team BK
- [Keith] Definitely. - I'm a BK boy. - Lets start with the veggie burger. - Yeah lets start. - Okay, here we go. - The consistency is awful
(laughing) - There's whole vegetables inside of it - Well that's good. - I mean that's dependable actually - That's good there's real, you can see there's, I hate that you
dug through it though. You like clawed through with your finger thats, this is horrifying. - Wrap it back up for the girls. - You're going to make them eat this now? - No no no, they want to eat it. - Oh god - The spicy chicken
sandwich, it's one of those that kinda dances on your
tongue as it settles. I'd say this is a pretty
good chicken sandwich. - It's pretty good. - This is it, this was my childhood right here, wow it looks so much smaller. The chicken sandwich. A little too much bread. The
fuckin butter goop again. This I think just needs something. - Something to offset the salt. It's like the ocean drowned
a chicken and then you found it a year later and
you licked the chicken. - Alright bye Keith. - Bye Zach, thanks for dropping by. You can just tip that over thanks, watch out for the bucket, you can take the fries yeah whatever you want. Everybody welcome to the
stage Eugene Lee Yang Ba ba ba ba ba ba
(clapping) - You want me for salads? What the fuck happened here Keith? It's so nasty
- Lets eat some salads Eugene This is the grilled chicken salad. Oh and that's that chicken
that looks like salmon. - You can see the grease
collecting in your eyeballs. - What do you think of the flavor? - Mm, the chicken helps it
- Tastes like cat food - How do you know how cat food tastes? - This one's the chicken, bacon, cheddar sandwich salad. - Lets see how this tastes, no I think I prefer some other
fast food salads better. - Are you okay? Where did he go? - I'm just taking a little nap. - Oh my god, well
- There's only one - Are you done?
- No, all I've got left is your just desserts. (rock music) The M&M's vanilla milkshake, hell yeah. Very satisfying after all the oils and salt I've had my body's
like this is awesome. So this is a hot fudge
sundae I believe. It's good. Aye, ayeeeeeeeeee mini cini's. Lets eat this nightmare, maybe this was on the bottom of the chicken. Kinda like eating a manila folder. And I think everybody wants to know what this Twix pie is all about. Ice-cream, peanut butter mousse, choc-chips, it's a very mousse driven pie. I actually really would recommend this. And all the girlies say I'm
pretty fly for an apple pie. Let me tell you what ending on the dessert gives you that sugar power
to get through the end. Probably 20 tablespoons of sugar in my system and I am
ready to kill someone. The apple pie was good, a little too soft a little too generically sweet. They're no better than the stuff from the freezer section at the grocery store, except maybe this. This is really quite good. So that's all the dessert, we ate everything from Burger King, now what do I think is the best and what do I think was the worst? (regal music) I obviously gotta give it up
to the whopper, the whopper is perfection, it's
still my favorite thing. I didn't really love any
of the chicken sandwiches. But the chicken strips were good. The single worst thing that I had, that tiny little spicy
chicken sandwich. Fuck you. There was no meat in it, it was all breading and then it was more bread, there was that awful mayo and that awful mystery goop that maybe was butter, maybe wasn't on the bottom of all the chicken. That
sandwich can go to hell. I still like Burger King I just think that they're overdoing
it a little too much. I think they need to scale back, they don't need all that meat, but I'm going to be doing this a few more times this month,
hope you guys enjoy it. I'm Keith, I ate the
menu, see you next week. (drums) That's what everybody's tweeting, they're trying to be
so original with their fuckin garbage joke with some commentary. - You wanna hold him?
- No, I don't. Fetch, he keeps looking at me. I prefer dogs over babies. (driving music) - All I see is cinnamon swirls baby.
