(<i> CHEERS AND APPLAUSE</i> )
THANKS SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME GET TO WORK, MAN. >> IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. >> James: IT'S BEEN AWHILE. YEAH. >> James: HOW LONG HAS IT
BEEN? >> ABOUT THREE YEARS. >> James: A LOT'S HAPPENED. MARRIED MAN, GOT A MUSTACHE
NOW. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: DO YOU MIND IF WE LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC? >> LAY BACK, BABY. >> James: SHALL WE SEE WHAT'S
ON THE RADIO? >> YEAH. ♪ I'M AT A PARTY
I DON'T WANNA BE AT ♪ AND I DON'T EVER WEAR A
SUIT AND TIE ♪ WONDERIN' IF I COULD
SNEAK OUT THE BACK ♪ NOBODY'S EVEN LOOKIN'
ME IN MY EYES ♪ THEN YOU TAKE MY HAND
♪ DON'T THINK I FIT IN AT THIS PARTY
♪ EVERYONE'S GOT SO MUCH TO SAY, YEAH
♪ I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I'M NOBODY, MM
♪ WHO WANTS TO FIT IN ANYWAY? 'CAUSE I DON'T CARE
♪ WHEN I'M WITH MY BABY, YEAH ALL THE BAD THINGS DISAPPEAR
♪ AND YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL LIKE MAYBE I AM SOMEBODY
♪ I CAN DEAL WITH THE BAD NIGHTS WHEN I'M WITH MY BABY, YEAH
♪ OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH IS I THINK YOU AND
EDGE, INCREDIBLE WRITERS, WALTER WALL SMASHES, ED IS NEVER GOING
TO JOIN YOU IN CHOREOGRAPHY. >> RIGHT. >> James: AND THIS SONG I
THINK IS CRYING OUT FOR CHOREOGRAPHY. >> I THINK YOU COULD DO IT. >> James: WHAT WOULD THE MOVES
BE TO THAT CHORUS? >> WE WOULD HAVE TO STAND UP. >> James: THESE ARE MY
THOUGHTS -- ♪ BECAUSE I DON'T CARE WHEN I'M
WITH MY -- ♪ >> MIDDLEIMMEDIATELY, NO. INSTANTLY I WAS, LIKE, YEAH, NO. THAT WAS MY THOUGHT. BUT I LOVE YOU, AND YOUR VALUE
STAYS THE SAME, YOU'RE STILL VALUABLE BUT THAT DANCE RIGHT
THERE DOES NOT A ADD VALUE TO ANYTHING. >> James: YOU DIDN'T SEE
ENOUGH OF IT. >> I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW,
I'VE SEEN WHAT I NEEDED TO SEE. >> James: BECAUSE I DON'T CARE
WHEN I'M WITH MY BABY, YEAH -- >> NO, NO, THAT'S NOT -- IT'S
NOT WHAT THE KIDS WANT TO SEE. EVER SEE THESE KIDS ON TIK TOK? THEY DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT. THEY WANT TO SEE, WHOA! >> James: WHAT, LIKE --
YEAH, EXACTLY. ( CHEERING )
SEE, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE. >> James:
♪ SEE I DON'T CARE, WHEN I'M WITH MY BABY, YEA ♪
AND I HAVE BEEN ON TIK TOK AND THAT'S PEOPLE DOING DANIELS TO
YUMMY. >> I THINK YOU AND I SHOULD MAKE
A DEFINITIVE YUMMY CHOREOGRAPHY TIK TOK DANCE RIGHT NOW. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ THE YUMMY YUMMY ♪ >> NOPE, NOPE. DO YOU WANT ME TO GIVE YOU SOME
TIPS? BECAUSE I COULD MAYBE GIVE YOU
SOME TIPS. >> James: ALL RIGHT. SO YOU'RE GOING TO DO RIGHT
ARM LIKE IT'S YUMMY. >> James: ALL RIGHT,. ♪ YOU GOT THAT YUMMY ♪
>> THEN YOU'RE GOING TO BRING IT THIS WAY AND THIS HAND THAT WAY,
SO YOU'VE GOT THAT ♪ ♪ YUMMY YUM ♪
AND YOU WILL BRING YOUR ARMS OPEN LIKE THIS, YUMMY YUM. >> James: IF I HAD JUST COME
UP WITH THAT CHOREOGRAPHY, YOU WOULD HAVE SAID IT'S TERRIBLE. >> NO, I WOULDN'T HAVE. ( LAUGHTER )
>> James: I WOULD HAVE SAID TO YOU, THIS IS THE DANCE TO YOU ♪
♪ YEAH, YOU GOT THAT YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY -- ♪
>> YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS? >> James: YOU WOULD HAVE GONE,
THAT'S TERRIBLE. >> IT'S YOUR DELIVERY. YOUR DELIVERY IS BAD. > YOUR
DELIVERY IS TRASH. >> James: TEACH ME THESE
COMPLEX MOVES. >> I DIDN'T SAY THEY'RE COMPLEX. I JUST SAID THE DELIVERY HAS TO
BE A-1. >> James: SO ♪
THIS IS GOT THAT YUMMY YUM ♪ ♪ THAT OPEN YUMMY YUM ♪
>> SHALL WE DO THE WOLF? >> James: IT'S NOT AS GOOD AS
THIS. >> I DIDN'T SAY IT'S EXTREMELY
COMPLICATED. >> James:
♪ YOU GOT THAT YUMMY YUM, YUMMY YUM, YUMMY ♪
>> YEAH. >> James: AND THEN WE BOUNCE ♪
♪ YOU GOT THAT YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY ♪
♪ SAY THAT WORD ON MY WAY ♪ ♪ SAY THE WORD, ON MY WAY
YEAH BABE, YEAH BABE, YEAH BABE ♪ ANY NIGHT, ANY DAY
SAY THE WORD, ON MY WAY ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ YEAH, YOU GOT THAT YUMMY, YUM THAT YUMMY, YUM
♪ THAT YUMMY, YUMMY YEAH, YOU GOT THAT YUMMY, YUM
♪ THAT YUMMY, YUM THAT YUMMY, YUMMY
♪ SAY THE WORD, ON MY WAY YEAH BABE, YEAH BABE, YEAH BABE
♪ ANY NIGHT, ANY DAY SAY THE WORD, ON MY WAY
♪ YEAH BABE, YEAH BABE YEAH BABE
♪ IN THE MORNING OR LATE SAY THE WORD, ON MY WAY
♪ BONAFIDE STALLION YOU AIN'T IN NO STABLE, NO
♪ YOU STAY ON THE RUN AIN'T ON THE SIDE
♪ YOU'RE NUMBER ONE YEAH, EVERY TIME I COME AROUND
♪ YOU GET IT DONE FIFTY-FIFTY
♪ LOVE THE WAY YOU SPLIT IT HUNNID RACKS
♪ HELP ME SPEND IT, BABE LIGHT A MATCH, GET LITTY, BABE
♪ THAT JET SET, WATCH THE SUNSET KINDA, YEAH, YEAH
♪ ROLLIN' EYES BACK IN MY HEAD MAKE MY TOES CURL, YEAH, YEAH
♪ YEAH, YOU GOT THAT YUMMY, YUM THAT YUMMY, YUM
(<i> CHEERS AND APPLAUSE</i> ) ♪ THAT YUMMY, YUMMY
♪ >> James: WOW, OPIATE IF I'VE
EVER FELT OLDER THAN I TID IN THAT MOMENT THEN. >> YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY
YOUNGER, I'LL TELL YOU THAT ( LAUGHTER )
>> James: NOW, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING, JUSTIN
BIEBER. >> UH-HUH. >> James: A CHOICE YOU MADE
LAST YEAR. >> MM-HMM. >> James: I'M GOING TO SAY I
FOUND IT PERPLEXING. >> OKAY. >> James: YOU CHALLENGED TOM
CRUISE TO A FIGHT. >> MM-HMM. >> James: WHY? I DON'T KNOW, I WAS JUST
BEING -- I WAS JUST BEING STUPID, TO BE HONEST. NOT STUPID, BUT -- AND PEOPLE
WERE, LIKE, YEAH, I WANT TO SEE THIS HAPPEN. AND I WAS, LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT COULD ACTUALLY BE FUNNY. >> James: WOULDN'T BE MUCH FUN
FOR YOU. I'VE GOT TO SAY, I THINK IF ME
AND YOU HAVE A FIGHT, YOU WIN. I THINK IF YOU AND TOM CRUISE
HAVE A FIGHT, I BACK TOM EVERY DAY TO HAVE THE WEEK. >> ABSOLUTELY NOT. >> James: I BACK TOM EVERY DAY
OF THE WEEK. >> I TRY NOT TO LET MY EGO GET
IN THE WAY, BUT THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO WAY. HE'S NOT THE GUY YOU SEE IN --
>> James: HE IS. HE IS IN PHENOMENAL SHAPE. >> PHENOMENAL SHAPE DOESN'T MEAN
YOU'RE A GOOD FIGHTER. >> James: OH, MY WORD... ( LAUGHTER )
>> I START TO GET FRUSTRATED BECAUSE YOU'RE REALLY BOILING ME
UP, MAN, I WANT TO FIGHT YOU! >> James: WORK YOUR WAY UP TO
TOM CRUISE. DO ME AND THEN LIKE ZACH BRAFF
AND THEN TOM CRUISE. >> I THINK YOU'RE MESMERIZED BY
THE CHARACTERS HE'S PLAYED. >> James: NO, I'M MESMERIZED
BY THE MAN. I'M NOT JOKING. I AM MESMERIZED --
>> YOU'RE MESMERIZED BY THE CHARACTERS HE'S PLAYED. >> James: NO. I'M TELLING YOU, YOU WOULDN'T
WANT TO -- I'M DANGEROUS. MY AJILLTY IS CRAZY, INSANE. >> James: HE DOES MOVIES
CALLED "MISSION IMPOSSIBLE," THE MISSION IS IMPOSSIBLE AND HE
MAKES IT POSSIBLE. >> HE'S AN ACTOR! >> James: HE JUMPS OUT OF
PLANES. >> I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND
THE MIND CONTROL THAT I HAVE! ( LAUGHTER )
MY MIND CONTROL IS ANOTHER SPECIMEN --
>> James: OH, MY GOD. I'M DIFFERENT. >> James: LISTEN. I'M THE CONNOR MCGREGOR OF
ENTERTAINMENT! ( LAUGHTER )
THIS IS THE FACT! WRESTLE ME RIGHT NOW, JUST DO
IT. >> James: DUDE, THINK ABOUT
WHAT YOU'RE DOING. THIS WILL BE TELEVISED. >> YES! ( LAUGHTER )
>> James: OKAY, OKAY. THIS IS HALF OF TOM CRUISE. THIS IS HALF OF TOM CRUISE. READY. ALL RIGHT. ARE YOU GOING TO SAY AM I
STARTING OR AM I STARTED. >> YOU CAN SAY IT. >> James: HAVE YOU STARTED
YET? >> YOU CAN SAY IT. >> James: HAVE YOU STARTED? I HAVEN'T STARTED YET. THREE, TWO, ONE, GO. AAAHHH! ♪
>> DRIVE THE CAR. >> James: YOU STILL CAN'T BE
TOM CRUISE. ♪ FOR ALL THE TIMES THAT YOU
RAIN ON MY PARADE ♪ AND ALL THE CLUBS YOU GET IN
USING MY NAME ♪ YOU THINK YOU BROKE MY HEART
OH GIRL FOR GOODNESS SAKE ♪ YOU THINK I'M CRYING
ON MY OWN, WELL I AIN'T ♪ AND I DIDN'T WANNA WRITE A
SONG 'CAUSE I DIDN'T WANT ANYONE ♪ THINKING I STILL CARE
I DON'T ♪ BUT, YOU STILL HIT MY PHONE UP
AND BABY I BE MOVIN' ON ♪ AND I THINK YOU SHOULD BE
SOMETHIN' I DON'T WANNA HOLD ♪ BACK, MAYBE YOU SHOULD
KNOW THAT ♪ MY MAMA DON'T LIKE YOU
AND SHE LIKES EVERYONE ♪ AND I NEVER LIKE TO
ADMIT THAT I WAS WRONG ♪ AND I'VE BEEN SO CAUGHT UP IN
MY JOB, DIDN'T SEE WHAT'S GOING ♪ ON, BUT NOW I KNOW, I'M BETTER
SLEEPING ON MY OWN ♪ 'CAUSE IF YOU LIKE
THE WAY YOU LOOK THAT MUCH ♪ OH BABY YOU SHOULD GO
AND LOVE YOURSELF ♪ AND IF YOU THINK THAT I'M
STILL HOLDIN' ON TO SOMETHIN' ♪ YOU SHOULD GO
AND LOVE YOURSELF (<i> CHEERS AND APPLAUSE</i> )
ABOUT YOUR WEDDING. YOU GOT MARRIED. >> GOT MARRIED. >> James: HOW LONG AGO DID YOU
GET MARRIED? >> I GOT MARRIED ABOUT A YEAR
AGO. >> James: OKAY. YEAH. >> James: AND HOW IS IT? HOW IS MARRIED LIFE? >> BEING MARRIED IS THE BEST
THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME. SHE'S EXTRAORDINARY. >> James: WHAT DO YOU DO? DO YOU STAY IN? >> YEAH, WE STAY IN A LOT. WE ENJOY WATCHING MOVIES AND
JUST TALKING AND EATING TOGETHER. >> James: WHAT DO YOU BINGE
WATCH WHEN YOU'RE HOME. IT'S A COZY NIGHT IN, YOU AND
MRS. BIEBS. >> WE GOT THROUGH THE SERIES OF
HOUSE, YOU KNOW, DR. HOUSE. WE DO FRIENDS. >> James: WHICH FRIENDS
CHARACTER DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? >> I THINK I'M A MIX OF ALL OF
THEM. >> James: YOU THINK YOU'RE A
MIX OF CHANDLER, ROSS AND JOEY. >> YEAH BECAUSE ROSS IS THE
SUPER SENSITIVE ONE, AND I'M SUPER SENSITIVE. AND CHANDLER IS SUPER SARCASTIC
AND WITTY. I MEAN, I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE
MYSELF COMPLIMENTS, BUT I'D LIKE TO SAY I'M A LITTLE WITTY. >> James: GIVE US YOUR BEST
JOEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING? >> HOW YOU DOIN'? ( LAUGHTER )
>> James: I MEAN, I'D QUITE LIKE TO SEE ON TOUR JUSTIN
BIEBER PULL OUT THE "SMELLY CAT," YOU KNOW THE PHOEBE SONG? ♪ SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT ♪
♪ WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING YOU ♪ ♪ SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT ♪
♪ IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> James: THAT WITH A B UNDER IT -- R --
♪ SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT, WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING YOU ♪
♪ SMELLY CAT, SMELLY CAT, ♪ ♪ IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT ♪
>> James: I'M JUST SAYING. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) SHOUT OUT TO YOUR MOM AND DAD
♪ FOR MAKING YOU STANDING OVATION
♪ THEY DID A GREAT JOB RAISING YOU
♪ WHEN I CREATE YOU'RE MY MUSE
♪ THE KIND OF SMILE THAT MAKES THE NEWS
♪ CAN'T NOBODY THROW SHADE ON YOUR NAME IN THESE STREETS
♪ TRIPLE THREAT, YOU A BOSS YOU A BANK, YOU A BEAST
♪ YOU MAKE IT EASY TO CHOOSE YOU GOT A MEAN TOUCH
♪ I CAN'T REFUSE NO, I CAN'T REFUSE IT
♪ PICTURE-PERFECT YOU DON'T NEED NO FILTER
♪ GORGEOUS, MAKE 'EM DROP DEAD YOU A KILLER
♪ SHOWER YOU WITH ALL MY ATTENTION
♪ YEAH, THESE ARE MY ONLY INTENTIONS
♪ STAY IN THE KITCHEN COOKING UP
♪ CUT YOUR OWN BREAD HEART FULL OF EQUITY
♪ YOU'RE AN ASSET MAKE SURE THAT YOU
♪ DON'T NEED NO MENTIONS YEAH, THESE ARE MY
♪ ONLY INTENTIONS ONLY INTENTIONS
(<i> CHEERS AND APPLAUSE</i> ) NOW, DID YOU SING AT
YOUR WEDDING? >> YEAH. >> James: WHAT DID YOU SING? I TOLD MYSELF I WASN'T GOING
TO BECAUSE I THINK THAT'S KIND OF WEIRD WHEN PEOPLE, LIKE, GO
AND THEY'RE LIKE THEIR OWN ARTISTS AT THE THING. BUT IT WAS AN ORGANIC THING. EVERYONE WAS VIBING AND I SANG
HALEY "ONE LAST LONELY GIRL." >> James: YOU WOULD SING THAT
ON STAGE. YOU USED TO PICK A FAN AND GIVE
A FAN A ROSE. ON YOUR WEDDING DAY, YOU WOULD
BE -- >> I SAID YOU'RE THE ONE LAST
LONELY GIRL. ♪ HOW MANY I TOLD YOU'S
AND START OVERS ♪ AND SHOULDERS
HAVE YOU CRIED ON BEFORE? ♪ HOW MANY PROMISES
BE HONEST GIRL? ♪ HOW MANY TEARS
YOU LET HIT THE FLOOR? ♪ HOW MANY BAGS YOU PACKED
JUST TO TAKE 'EM BACK ♪ TELL ME THAT
HOW MANY EITHER OR'S ♪ BUT NO MORE
IF YOU LET ME ♪ INSIDE OF YOUR WORLD
THERE'D BE THE ONE LESS ♪ LONELY GIRL
SAW SO MANY PRETTY FACES ♪ IN THE WORLD
THERE'S GONNA BE ♪ ONE LESS LONELY GIRL
I'M COMING FOR YOU ♪ ONE LESS LONELY GIRL
I'M COMING FOR YOU ♪ ONE LESS LONELY GIRL
I'M COMING FOR YOU ♪ ONE LESS LONELY GIRL
I'M COMING FOR YOU ♪ THERE'S GONNA BE
ONE LESS LONELY GIRL ♪ I'M COMING FOR YOU
I'M GONNA PUT YOU FIRST ♪ I'M COMING FOR YOU
I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT YOU'RE WORTH ♪ THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO
IF YOU LET ME INSIDE YOUR WORLD ♪ THERE'S GONNA BE
ONE LESS LONELY GIRL ♪ YOU SHAWTY ♪
>> James: I HAVE GOT CHILLS. CHILLS. >> James: OH, GOSH. WHOO --
>> IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY. TAKE A DEEP BREATH, HERE,
THROUGH YOUR NOSE. >> James: WHOO... I'M GOING TO HAVE TO STOP FROM
HERE. ( LAUGHTER )
THANKS TO JUSTIN BIEBER!
Tim stays undefeated in posting quickly. 👀
EDIT Oh, God. When Justin started singing “One Less Lonely Girl,” my mind went to that TMZ clip of him saying the n-word as a parody when he was like 13. YIKES. 💀
Can we all agree that just like Katy Perry ditching her long black hair, Justin with pronounced facial hair is a career disruptor?
i think they’re always really funny together. justin always seems comfortable around james. i know y’all hate justin but i like seeing him have fun.
Can y'all stop the meaningless hate
It's borderline mean
Another one? Really who asked for it?
We want a Taylor Swift carpool karaoke not Justin Bieber