Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - BAD MOVIES!

hey guys welcome back to a brand new episode of the show and on this episode I'm gonna be talking about Jurassic world fallen Kingdom I'm also gonna be talking a bit about Jurassic world as well now when I started doing this video I knew that this might end up being one of my more polarizing videos just because it seems that people are pretty split when it comes to this movie when I was a kid I very vividly remember seeing Jurassic Park in the theater and of course I just loved the movie as a child and you know to be honest the sequels I really didn't care that much for I mean I didn't hate them but whatever but by the time Jurassic world came out you know I really just had no desire to see it I just didn't care but when a friend of mine suggested that I review fallen Kingdom I decided to go and watch Jurassic world first and I mean that movie did pretty well with critics and audiences and after seeing it I have no idea why honestly I thought Jurassic world was pretty dumb and what really gets me though is just how meta this whole thing is the whole movie pushes this message about how it's wrong to bring these things back from extinction just to exploit them for profits or engineer them to be bigger and scarier just to get people to stay interested and yet that's exactly what they're doing with this franchise it's not Jurassic Park anymore it's Jurassic world it's not just the t-rex it's the IREX a hybrid of different dinosaurs just like the Jurassic world series is now a hybrid of the movies that came before it I also love how the characters talk about how lame it is to have companies sponsoring these dinosaur attractions the rise in Wireless presents the indominus rex ah so terrible and why not just go the distance Claire just let these corporations name the dinosaurs the irony here is that the whole movie is just chock-full of product placement the original Jurassic Park was a great movie at the time it stood out as an incredible achievement in filmmaking and although some of the visual effects aren't completely flawless and a few of the shots it still holds up incredibly well for a movie that's 25 years old Jurassic world almost serves as a metaphor for itself bringing back something from the past adding some new crap to it and in the end the experience doesn't turn out so well and leaves us with the message that these things are better left off alone and yet for some reason we just keep coming back and doing the same thing over and over again now seems to be the time to just capitalize on all this millennial nostalgia and it's working so you can't really blame them for that from a business perspective Jurassic world is just a bigger flashy er and yet at the same time dumbed down version of Jurassic Park there's a theme park on an island which uses dinosaurs as attractions young relatives of the person basically running the park show up to visit then while touring around the park they get lost in the original Jurassic Park this made sense they got lost trying to escape from the Tyrannosaurus Rex once it got loose in Jurassic world this whole process is ridiculous the boys are touring around the park and these gyrosphere things and decide to go into a restricted area are the people who designed this park just incredibly short-sighted why are these gyro spheres user controlled in the first place can they not see that having guests just travelling wherever they want around dinosaurs might pose a problem at some point I can grant you the idea of giving the guests a little bit of control but are there no boundaries to this thing I mean they seem pretty technologically advanced even even golf courses have invisible boundaries for the golf carts and when an emergency breaks out and they find that the gyrosphere with the boy still hasn't returned yet they have to call for a team of Rangers to go out there and bring them back again these things seem pretty high-tech you mean to tell me that you can track their location but you're not able to remotely control them or even communicate with them you're able to send out a message that the ride is closed but you're not able to have a live conversation with the people inside even the original Jurassic Park was able to do this no the only way to talk to them is by calling them on their cell phone in an area that of course has terrible cell coverage next the dinosaurs get loose and everything goes haywire in the original Jurassic Park this made sense in order to gain access to the cold storage room and steal the dinosaur embryos so that he could sell them to another genetics company Dennis Nedry ran a program that would disable the security throughout the park this was only supposed to be temporary but since the entry was killed on his way to the dock no one was able to gain access to the security system to enable it again and this is what led to the t-rex escaping in the subsequent shutdown of the entire system in order to gain access to the security grid which turned off security to the Raptor pen in Jurassic world the indominus rex escapes because people are dumb they go to the AI Rex paddock but the computer says there are no thermal signatures detected and they see some scratches on the walls so they assume it just must have climbed out and nobody saw it not any one of these construction workers that are constantly working around this thing all the time so claire has to drive back to the control room in order to track the dinosaurs location based on its tracking device don't see why they wouldn't have this capability in the paddock as well so oh and a few of the workers go into the pen to take a closer look at the scratches maybe wait until you can pinpoint the dinosaurs location before you just walk into its cage and so yeah I don't even know what information are you really trying to gain here I think it oh yeah look at this scratches here based on these these markings we can we can confirm that the dinosaur does indeed have claws you know because the scratches now turns out the indominus rex could camouflage itself and hide its heat signature so it's actually still in the cage so to get out they open the door and this is how the dinosaur gets out this whole thing could have been avoided if they knew that the indominus rex could camouflage and hide its heat signature but apparently nobody was aware of this so you created a new breed of dinosaur to put on display but you don't even know what it's capable of that's that's like that's like building a zoo and not knowing that cheetahs can run fast and of course in the end when all hope is lost they're all saved when a t-rex comes in and it's the other dinosaurs and yet drastic world manages to once again dumb this down by having Claire outrun a Tyrannosaurus Rex in high heels that's pretty impressive I mean Ian Malcolm was only able to do that for an extremely short distance before the t-rex collided with him and later on they were just barely able to outrun this thing with the Jeep now you might be thinking that she didn't have to run that far and well you're kind of right the t-rex paddock was pretty close to this main area another great design from this theme park see this way if the t-rex happens to get loose like it did in Jurassic Park there will be no chance of stopping it before it gets to the area with all the shops and restaurants and probably the highest concentration of people in the entire park Jurassic world fallen Kingdom takes place a few years after the events of Jurassic world and now the issue is that there's a volcano on the island that's erupting which would kill all the dinosaurs but of course there's a bunch of people including Clara now who want to save the dinosaurs and let them live free on an island somewhere it's weird it's almost like we've seen this before an entire generation has grown up in a world where dinosaurs are living and breathing but soon they're gonna have to watch them go extinct or not if people like you make a difference so you went from capitalist to naturalist in just four years that's that's something so Claire visits this guy Lockwood who apparently started the dinosaur cloning with John Hammond pretty convenient that this is the first time we're hearing about him and he wants to let the dinosaurs live in peace and a Dino sanctuary because it was John Hammonds dream which actually makes sense because in the lost world we saw that John had become very much against the idea of a dinosaur themed partner yet in the first Jurassic world were told that his dying wish was to open a dinosaur theme park John I man entrusted me with this and not once did he mention profits so which is it is this serious going with how John Hammond felt in the first movie or how he felt in the second so Clare goes to get Owen who's building a house by himself and they fly off to the island along with the two obnoxious millennial characters Franklin the tech whiz who I guess is supposed to be the comic relief but ends up just being incredibly annoying and helpless Ziya the dinosaur veterinarian who I guess is supposed to be the strong female character but ends up just being an asshole it's a good thing these characters are only in the movie for a small amount of time overall gee I wonder who this character is I bet there's no way the snarling military man turns out to be a bad guy so they get to the island and have to go locate blue the Raptor I'm gonna need to borrow your truck I'm coming with you there know what kind of conditions you might be in this things could get hairy out there these are powerful sedatives one too many and she could have respiratory failure also I'm not a soft and witless as your combat implies how is he implying that you're soft and witless by warning you that it could get dangerous he's completely right it doesn't matter that you're a former Marine you've never been to this island you've never interacted with these dinosaurs and you literally have nothing to protect yourself with in case these extremely lethal animals decide to kill you so maybe drop the attitude because you have absolutely no idea what you're getting into and if something does go wrong these are the people who will be defending you anyways the volcano starts exploding and I'm wondering at this point if Owen was genetically modified to be comprised of some sort of material that isn't affected by extremely high temperatures so as they're loading the dinosaurs onto the boats the military guy is collecting their teeth and you may be wondering why he's doing this is he trying to collect their DNA you who knows I'm sure at some point we'll find out it will all make sense anyways instead of taking the dinosaurs to the new I they take them to Lockwood's mansion which is equipped with a lab and a bunch of cages because this is apparently where it all began so - the cages mean that they were actually making the first dinosaurs in here I don't know maybe this is just me but if I decided to start bringing dinosaurs back to life probably wouldn't pick my basement imagine discussing that one with the contractor yeah so I'm looking to to finish the basement you know make it kind of a a man cave type type deal not so much man cave though more dinosaur prison anyways they start auctioning off the dinosaurs to rich people because I guess some of them want them as pets or to use them as weapons either way it doesn't matter how you spin it it's still an incredibly stupid idea to own one of these things and then they decide to bring out a prototype the endo Raptor it's the perfect weapon for the modern age as they call it makes complete sense that in this age of technology the perfect weapon would be organic and made of soft tissue that could easily be destroyed needs to be fed it kept healthy also has a mind of its own completely unpredictable yes this is these these are the traits you want in a weapon come on people let's get real here all right it's 2018 we're in a new age now you want to go to war with you know drone strikes and robotic weapons you know an efficient combat methods yeah I don't think so what you want to go with is a bunch of prehistoric beasts yeah no one's gonna see that coming anyways they're not even supposed to be selling it because it's just a prototype but Mills is like screw it we'll just make some more and dr. Wu was like yeah but so will they who's they what do you mean so will day these other people they're just gonna start cloning dinosaurs - does everybody have access to this technology is doing everybody's cloning dinosaurs so military guy tranquilizes the Indo Raptor and goes into the cage that he can take one of its teeth Wow whatever he's collecting these teeth for must be pretty important well now we get to find out he's collecting dinosaur teeth so that he can make a necklace out of them yep that's it not to collect DNA to sell to someone or something like that nope nope this this is just a big vanity project for this guy so of course the thing gets loose and then we find out that this little girl isn't Lockwood's granddaughter she's actually a clone of his daughter and that's what drove him and ham into parts yes it's a classic story really two friends driven a pot by cloning technology once said let's clone dinosaurs the other said why don't we clone some people along the way created a rift between two friends that could never be fixed tale as old as time really oh hey it's those two characters that haven't been in the movie for the past 20 minutes so Franklin manages to help her and unlock her handcuffs but oh no I guess we can't have her character actually thanked him for setting her free that would make her look weak or something so let's just have her grab his face and grit her teeth I also love how this whole character's purpose in the movie was to save blue from being wounded I mean that's really all she did in the entire movie so maybe now we're gonna get to see something different maybe she'll find a way to disarm this guy somehow after all she's a former Marine but instead she just puts the one creature she was trying to protect directly in harm's way I guess it's a good thing this guy sucks at shooting so much that he had to get way too close to this Raptor otherwise you'd probably have to save the things life again so the endo Raptor crawls all over the mansion and finally goes into the little girl's room to kill her but luckily Chris Pratt shows up don't know how he knew where to find her but whatever Wow it looks like one person with the semi-automatic rifle is doing pretty well against the perfect weapon for the modern age of course he runs out of bullets though but that's okay because it's time once again to have the human be suddenly saved when dinosaurs fight dinosaurs so I guess a canister full of cyanide gas started leaking during all the gunfire and explosions I guess it's always a good idea to keep these things sitting out in the open in a place where you're creating and holding Saurus and the gas is gonna kill all the dinosaurs so Claire opens all the cages but there's one big door left preventing them from leaving and in a moment of actual sanity Claire decides it's best not to open the door and let the dinosaurs die but that doesn't stop the kid from slamming on the button because I had to their life they're alive just like you what is that what does that even mean is that because they're clones and you're a clone as well so there's some kind of link there you're gonna compare these wild dangerous prehistoric creatures to yourself a ten-year-old girl so now all the dinosaurs are out and we gotta learn how to coexist with them as if this is a good idea somehow like these dinosaurs aren't totally a threat to our well-being we've entered a new era welcome to Jurassic world I guess this is the direction the franchise is going now it makes sense it's it's making too much money to actually conclude you know give the character some common sense like hey you know what every time we've messed with Dinosaurs hasn't gone so well but no let's just have them live with us yeah see that's the problem we've been segregating them you know we just have to live together in harmony work for the Flintstones well that's pretty much it for this one I thought it would be good to do a newer movie for you guys also be sure to check out my Instagram account because I'm gonna have some clips from bad movies as well as bad movie memes and of course my favorite breehn memes and as always thanks for watching guys and I'll see you next time it's like it's like the force awakens' of the Jurassic Park Fringe actually you know what no that's that's being kind of mean to the force awakens it's more like it's more like weekend at Bernie's to

Channel: FanboyFlicks

Views: 247,304

Rating: 4.8617463 out of 5

Keywords: Jurassic World, Fallen Kingdom, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, Jurassic Park, The Lost World, Dinosaurs, Action, Comedy, Funny, Hilarious, Bad movies, movie reviews, Bad Movie (Film), movie review, Reviews, fanboy flicks, horrible movies, worst movies, rotten tomatoes, best bad movies

Id: trLtnRLGWD0

Length: 17min 34sec (1054 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 23 2018