- People in Hawaii brag about shit that no one else brags about. (audience laughing) That's real. 'Cause you cherish the
things that you have. It's yours, I love, this is mine, brother. (audience cheering) I had a
guy walk up to me, he was like, "Hey Brudda you see my,
you see my brand new "2003 Toyota Tacoma? (audience laughing) "Cherry, bro. "Fuckin' cherry. "Lift it, bro, lift it. "Lift it 2003. "Brand new "2003. (audience laughing) "Toyota Tacoma." (audience laughing) You don't care, you're laid
back, you live in paradise. You don't have time, you're not uptight. You go out? "Good, we go out." Dress nice. "Okay, dress nice." Nice outfit. "Where's my slippa?" (audience laughing) "Where's my slippa?" You guys will wear a slippa. Slippa, always slippa. Slippa. Fuck it, brand new outfit, slippa. (audience laughing) No one outside of Hawaii
knows what slippa, I'll tell you what slippa is. It's fuckin', look, look. Slippa. Slippa. Slippa. Slippa. (audience cheering) Slippa. Slippa, slippa, slippa. (audience cheering) I don't
even know why you wear it, they're barely on your fuckin' foot. (audience laughing) That's how you guys walk. Slippa at the front of your foot. You're not even, it's not even on your foot,
you just kick the slippa, step, kick, step, kick slippa,
step, kick slippa, step, kick. (audience cheering) Love the vowels, you guys love vowels. You don't care, A. The letter A. How many A's can you
put in one street name? How many A's, that's too many A's. That's why if anyone comes to Hawaii, I'm talking to the world right now, if you come to Hawaii,
don't ask for directions. All the streets sound the same. You'll ask for directions,
and they'll be like, "Oh, that's easy brother,
this how you get there. "You just go down Kaliakalakalikalikaa, "make a right turn on Lokaliakalakalikao, "left turn on Nokoolaaakaliaka, "and then a right turn on Aaaaaaaaaaa "apostrophe-aaa." (audience cheering) I love everything about Hawaii. Can't get enough of it. I don't even listen to
the music, and I love it. Like when I'm here I can't
stop listening to it. Don't know any of the words, I don't care. (audience laughing) I drive, and I sing. ♪ Hanuaoo ♪ ♪ Akuahoo ♪ ♪ Anuakuah ♪ ♪ Huniahuh ♪ ♪ Hakiauh ♪ You're clapping, I just made that song up! You guys don't even know
what the fuck I'm saying. All I did was the vowels. ♪ Aeioou ♪ ♪ Aeioouu ♪ ♪ Aeioou, aeioou, aeioou ♪ (audience cheering) That hula is the shit. Hula is everything. That is the sexiest dance ever. All that shit they're doin' now, all the sexy dances they're doin', they stole that from the hula. Hula, that shit is sexy. She talks to the man through dance. That is sexy. She tells him what she
wants through dance. You come see me, (audience laughing) when the sun go down. (audience laughing) You take me to dinna. (audience laughing) If I like you, (audience laughing) I give you pussy. (audience cheering) (funky music)
I feel like I would have found that a lot funnier if I wasn't cringing at that "pidgin"
I ended up seeing this dude live. The same dick and fart jokes you've heard for the past 30 years. At the end he plays 90's RnB music and gets the crowd to sing along and the nostalgia makes you believe you had a good time.