When I first moved out here--
Like, when I was living out here, this is where the Indian casinos
started opening. Like Muckleshoot. Remember that?
Is that still around? -[crowd] Yeah!
-Muckleshoot? But when an Asian says it,
it sounds more Asian than Indian. [Asian accent]
"Muckleshoot. You want to play-- Where you play?
Muck-- Muckleshoot. Play blackjack at Muckle-- Muckleshoot." You go to the Indian reservation.
I've never seen any Indians. There's more-- I don't see any.
It's just all Vietnamese people and... Chinese people. That's all. I want to see an Indian.
One. Just one. Give me one Indian. I want to see Pocahontas.
Just one Pocahontas. Just give me an Indian lady.
One Indian lady. I swear to God, if I find her, it's over. It's over. I want a hot Indian wife,
and I'll marry her, and I'll have ten kids with her, just so when I load the van,
I can go... ♪ One little, two little
Three little Indians ♪ ♪ Four little, five little
Six little Indians ♪ ♪ Seven little, eight little-- ♪ I love watching--
When women laugh, it's my favorite. Because when women laugh,
they laugh hard. They don't give a shit. If it's funny, they're, like,
"Oh, my God. Right? Ten Indians. And then he'll count,
like the fucking song! Hilarious! [sobbing]
Hilarious!" Women will laugh--Look.
Women will laugh and cry. Women will laugh and cry
because they're emotional creatures. They can't give you one emotion.
"I gotta give you two! Ha ha ha! Are you serious?
Are you happy? Ha ha ha! Fuck! Fuck! Seriously, stop! Fuck!" [cries] And they do this shit. What is that? Because they're crying,
and that's their way of drying the tears. Fanning tears. That's fucking water! You can't fan water! You don't get out of the shower and go,
"Oh, my God, that shower was amazing. Oh, my God! I'm gonna be late!" Women will laugh and pee.
They don't give a shit. In public. In public!
In front of their friends. They don't give a shit.
They'll tell their friends, "He's funny, right?"
"I know. I just peed a little. I swear to God."
"A little? Bitch, that's a lot." "I don't give a fuck.
It's funny. It's funny." And I love it when women laugh and they threaten
that they want you to stop, and if you don't, they're gonna pee.
They threaten you. "Stop. No, seriously, stop!
I swear to God, I'm gonna pee! Stop it! Oh, my God! Stop! Stop!
I'm gonna pee. Look, look! Seriously. You're crazy."
