Live from Seattle: Dating tip || Jo Koy 2020

[Applause] dating dating right it's rough right [ __ ] here's the thing about dating all you need is just to be secure just be secure and your girl is gonna [ __ ] love you stop being insecure the minute you're insecure and start questioning her it [ __ ] turns her off don't question her every time she goes out with her girlfriends where are you going i'm going out with my girlfriends i told you that already well okay what time are we gonna be home i don't know maybe later i don't know what the [ __ ] seriously do i do this [ __ ] with you on your [ __ ] guys tonight [ __ ] out i'm just here i just want to know where you're going they hate that [ __ ] just be secure and let her [ __ ] go that turns a girl on ignore she loves that [ __ ] it pisses her off and she loves it at the same time when you don't call the whole time it even confuses her when she leaves too i'm going out with my girls all right see ya i mean are you going to ask her no all right that's crazy don't call her the whole night just ignore she'll be at the club freaking out [ __ ] dancing looking at her phone what the [ __ ] that [ __ ] turns her on because guys get mad at girls when they go out with their with their girlfriends and she's like stop stop being insecure [ __ ] it if she goes out with a friend she goes out with her friends and the guys always get mad yeah but every time she goes out guys buy her drinks and then she [ __ ] takes them no [ __ ] they're free [ __ ] wouldn't you take a goddamn drink for free if a girl walked up to you hey i'd like to buy you a drink you'd be like what the [ __ ] do you buy my friends tom and if a guy is buying your chick at the club a drink that means she's one of the hottest chicks in the [ __ ] club so you should be proud of that [ __ ] and don't get mad at her for getting free drinks that's her hustle she's hot and she's getting free drinks from a dude at a club you don't have to worry about it because she has your back every girl that has a man and she's at a club has their dudes back swear to god and you know what i'm talking about she'll keep getting those drinks for free she'll get them she'll get them as many as she can i'm a drink free all night and then when that question comes hey do you have a boyfriend yeah he's at home his name's johnny's black bye bye bye thank you cause that's what women do they get your back and you know what i'm talking about every guy's bought drinks for a girl that had a guy and you know it they drop it on you the last second because that's what we're gonna do so don't get mad at your girl when she goes out with these guys let them go let them have as many drinks as they want let them [ __ ] get tore the [ __ ] up as many drinks let her get them as many drinks all [ __ ] night she's gonna get [ __ ] up and then she's gonna come home drunk and then she's gonna want to suck your dick on his tab what the [ __ ] this [ __ ] is free stop being insecure and let them go in fact when your girl goes out you go out don't stay at home go get [ __ ] up too that's the best sex you'll ever have you both ignore each other all night you both get [ __ ] up with your own friends and then you both come home drunk as [ __ ] that's the funniest [ __ ] and the guy's always the first one home then all of a sudden she walks through the door drunk his [ __ ] hi mimi maybe she's limping because she has one heel on hi mimi hi hi hi mimi why didn't you why didn't you text me all night i i didn't know where my phone was it's a [ __ ] square right here that turns her on your phone is right there you stupid your phone's right there stupid i'm gonna [ __ ] the [ __ ] out here because they're drunk and horny i'm gonna [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of you i swear to god i'm gonna [ __ ] to show you and then he's like i'm gonna [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of you i'm gonna [ __ ] the [ __ ] i'm gonna [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of here then you guys walk towards each other about to [ __ ] each other but it's not even cute it just looks like two zombies about to [ __ ] each other i'm gonna the woman always gets to the bedroom first completely naked completely naked come on baby come on um affect the [ __ ] this foot completely dirty this one clean completely clean this one gravel in the heel come on baby [ __ ] are you coming the man's walking down the hallway fully clothed drunk taking his time he's kind of mad too because not only is he drunk but his dick is more drunk and he doesn't know what to do because it's about to happen but there's he can't and drunk guys will talk to their dicks they don't give a [ __ ] like come on wake up come on why are you doing this to me let's go why are you doing it your dick is like i'm drunk too [ __ ] what the [ __ ] do you want me to do well start grabbing blood from anywhere don't do this to me you need to give me something don't do this to me but our dick's our best friend he doesn't leave us hanging he gives us something it's not much but it's something it's like half and half soft on top hard in the middle and it's barely holding up it's just balancing on the balls like this try this this might work this way they were like are you sure you're gonna work hurry up before i change my [ __ ] mind and if we go to put him in he's like man i can't [ __ ] do this i love you guys thank you so much [Music] [Music] do [Music] [Applause] [Music] so [Music] you

Channel: Jo Koy - Stand Up

Views: 159,243

Rating: 4.8781724 out of 5

Keywords: Jo Koy, Comin' in Hot, Live from Seattle, Comedy, Stand Up Comedy, Hilarious, Filipino, Philippines, Jo Koy: Comin' in Hot (2019), Jo Koy: Comin' in Hot, Jo Koy 2020, jo koy, jo koy 2020, jo koy 2021, jo koy stand up, jo koy comedian, best of jo koy, stand up comedy, stand up, comedy, jo koy stand up comedy, jo koy netflix, jokoy, Jo Koy: Live from Seattle (2017), Live from Seattle (2017), Jo Koy: Live from Seattle, Dating tip, Live from Seattle: Dating tip

Id: 3utgniWoAkE

Length: 9min 51sec (591 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 28 2021