Comin' in Hot: My Son || Jo Koy 2021

my son god damn it he's 15. there's the thing about 15 year old boys man he thinks he's being slick and he's not i keep telling him that too and that's the thing if you got boys if you got a little boy just be honest with him talk to him like dudes i can't speak for girls i'm just saying if you have a little teenage boy talk to them like dudes they'll respect you more i don't hide i don't candy coat i let my son know like joe i know what you did in there what are you talking about well i'm just saying like i was 15 and i know what you did in there like all the creepy you're doing i did too i was just better at it what are you talking about joe come on man i know you were in the shower for 30 minutes man i know what you did i didn't do anything i just took a shower i'm like joe you didn't take a shower how do you know i didn't take a shower joe you were in there for 30 minutes and your hair is dry brought you a big bottle of head and shoulders and it's empty but you still have dandruff i don't but your dick always smells like mint it's just mint mint and zinc come from here it's head and shoulder show not dick in hand that's that all right dad all right that's how my son is now now he's cool with it all right all right i promise i'll be i won't i'll make it so you don't know then he went to high five me i promise i'm not gonna shake your hand not gonna touch the murder weapon good looking kid man he's got a full head of hair man he's got a big afro man he's got dark skin he's got the darker skin he's been going to like a lot of other football games from other schools and all the kids are asking if he's half black and he even came up to me like dad a lot of kids think i'm half black i'm like all right what'd you say because i've been saying yes why would you say that i don't know just like they don't know well how about when i come pick you up or something and they notice that you're not half black i said well just don't pick me up and then he asked me if he could get a dna test because he saw a commercial and he's like hey dad let's get one of those dna tests why do you want to get a dna test let's just see maybe there's black in the family dad maybe maybe a long time ago maybe a long time ago there was someone black in our family and it's catching up to me let's just see it would be fun i'm like joe there's no black in the family you don't know dad let's just see i'm like chill there's no black your aunt married a black guy but that doesn't help you at all come on dad just get it just get it it'll be cool just get it so i got it and we're gonna do it and i hope i don't know i hope it comes back black i don't know if the results come back black i'm just gonna be like um get the out of my house go find your real dad who the is this kid give me back that debit card he's constantly with me always with me oh i'm sorry there's a black the black guy right here i'm sorry that's no what's your name sir malcolm goddamn it couldn't get any blacker than that malcolm of course it is is this your lady and what are you what's your ethnicity you're filipino see this is what this is what my son's parents should look like right here my son's parents are here you think i'm joking wait wait till i bring them out you can be like oh that is our kid you know my son ran up to me one time this is a true story we were i was uh i was in my room and he ran up to me he always with me but he cuz he's got such a beautiful head of hair right it's beautiful man and um he looks like one of the jacksons from the five like hey and he comes up to me malcolm and he goes dad when i get older am i gonna be bald like you and that hurt me so bad like he doesn't understand how hard that hurt and i was like so i wanted to like let him know that it hurt but not with words just by my tone i was like you know what joe you get your hair from your mom's side and on your mom's side everyone has a full head of hair that's probably why you have so much hair so you don't have to be worried about being bald like your dad and my son goes sweet sweet and went to his room like an and i was crushed i was like man this kid man that's why any time we ask a question i have an opportunity to knock him down i do it malcolm him man [Applause] he came up to me like two weeks after that and he was like dad he was like all sad dad can i talk to you for a second please and you promise you won't make a joke yeah i promise no i'm serious dad like it's been bothering me and i need to talk to you about this so please no joke all right joe talk to me what's wrong why are you crying what's wrong okay um hi i don't even know how to say this um okay i've been growing my pubic hairs for a couple years now joe you gotta warn me about the topic like you can't just come in hot like that man you gotta warn me let me know i'm trying to eat lunch right now and i got pubic hairs on my mind all right come on dad you said you were gonna not joke around i'm being serious like listen to me i've been growing my pubic hairs for a while now like for a couple years okay yeah you're a teenager joe that's what you're supposed to do you're supposed to grow your your pubic hair so what's bothering you why is that why is that making you mad no just listen to me okay i'm listening what what's bothering you okay well i always thought dad that once you start to grow your pubic hairs that that the penis was supposed to start growing yeah and my penis isn't crawling dad just my pubic hairs my penis is still the same size for two years ago but my pubic hairs are long dad it just keeps growing i don't get it dad dad dad dad and i know what to do i just got on my phone like what the he's like what are you doing dad and i was like i'm canceling that dna test oh my god jack does everything have to be a joke dad does everything have to be a joke and i was like well you made fun of my hair now i'm making fun of yours oh my god dad come on seriously i don't understand what's going on dad what's going on what's supposed to happen i've been waiting there's nothing happening dad dad yeah i just grabbed them grabbed one i said yo stop stop crying stop tell me what i'm supposed to do i don't get it dad stop crying first of all well you tell me what listen to me look at me listen to me oh my god what happened unfortunately joe that comes from your mom's side too [Applause] okay nice now here's the up part about the story i lied to my son he didn't get that from his mom's side that's 100 percent my dick 100 i knew it was mine when he described it i was like oh that's fine i got the skin look at the same thing but i'm not gonna tell him that i'm not gonna be like yeah that's the family dick and i'm handing it down to you like no that the dick i hand down from generation to generation [Applause] i'm not gonna tell him that that's the hand he was dealt now he has to play his own cards i had a small dick and it worked worked for me god damn it it would work for him not going to be sad about it he's got to deal with it deal with it i'd be sad if he walked up to me he was like dad i don't have a dick oh i'm so sorry maybe malcolm isn't your dad [Music] my so [Music] you

Channel: Jo Koy

Views: 37,173

Rating: 4.9087453 out of 5

Keywords: Jo Koy, Comin' in Hot, Live from Seattle, Comedy, Stand Up Comedy, Hilarious, Filipino, Philippines, Jo Koy: Comin' in Hot (2019), Jo Koy: Comin' in Hot, Jo Koy 2020, jo koy, jo koy 2020, jo koy 2021, jo koy stand up, jo koy comedian, best of jo koy, stand up comedy, stand up, comedy, jo koy stand up comedy, jo koy netflix, jokoy, Comin' in Hot: Rice, Rice

Id: fxO-Z-vCX-k

Length: 12min 54sec (774 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 24 2021