Jim Jefferies - Freedumb - Full Length Official Clip -- From Freedumb Netflix Special

and then they always say this in this [ __ ] it spins me out well I don't expect an Australian to understand freedom what are you talking about you constantly say freedom all the time like you're that oh he's so free where we fight for freedom freedom freedom come to the freedom lounge at the airport like [ __ ] what you know when you're singing the national anthem at the baseball and the and the person holds the note free for a little bit longer than they should until all you Americans [ __ ] [ __ ] in your pants for the land of the free for so free freedom this freedom that free free free now I hate to break it to you because I don't think many of you know this there are 92 free countries on the planet democratic free countries you were one of them every single english-speaking country on Earth is free and most of the countries are also free now you're very free don't get upset and I have a wonderful of America I truly do I live here and I love it I have nothing against and none of the things I'm about to mention affect you affect me in any way right you may not be the freest place on earth just a quick example out of the 92 free countries on the planet you have the highest rate of incarceration 1% of your adult population is in prison that's double that of the country that comes in second which is South Africa if you've ever been to South Africa South Africa's [ __ ] so you're doubled out of South Africa so statistically in the land of the free you have the least amount of free people now this is a super simple one super simple argument in Holland you can smoke weed whilst [ __ ] a hooker in front of a cop how dare hollered not be called the land of the free do you honestly think you're competing with Holland in Canada just last year they legalized assisted suicide for the sick which I believe is the biggest freedom of them all it's your life no government no religious group should ever tell you when you get the check out if you're a pro-life person good do it with your life not mine okay yeah and also I don't think they've thought about I don't think there's even the most evangelical Christian who's a burn victim just like hanging out the life support in the hospital is this wasn't free and I'm so glad they're doing it in Canada because if I ever had an assisted suicide I wanted to be a Canadian doctor I want some guy rocking up to my house like okay you're ready then yeah so I hear that someone's giving up on life Hey all right let me just set up my little death machine here and I'll uh I'm gonna put this in your vein and you're gonna be so sleepy so soon I tell you what they're in Australia maybe 20 years ago maybe 20 they they legalize prostitution they thought it'd be the downfall of our society but it really wasn't it was a great thing like in Sydney where I grew up that the streets always had Booker's walking around everywhere there was needles and it was a very seedy city in some parts you know and then when they did was they legalized prostitution they moved all the hookers into brothels and I'm grizzly moved into brothels all the girls had to be tested for STDs and then the guys they could see the test as they go in so it was safer for the men but it was also safe for the women because what they did was they put security in these brothels so if you showed up like a drunk idiot they wouldn't let you in or if you got a bit a grow they kick you the [ __ ] out so the girls were safer the men were safer human trafficking was all but eliminated and tax revenue and up and the divorce rate dropped by 8% there is no downside to legalized prostitution now in America prostitution is illegal unless you film it how is that possible how the [ __ ] is that possible how do you have the biggest porn industry in the world and you still have a legal prostitution because it is legal to pay a woman for sex but your friend Dave has to be in the corner with a camera and Dave has to film it and Dave has to promise to put on the internet because if Dave doesn't put it on the Internet then a crime has been committed and that girl can be 18 years old and then she can be surrounded by ten men that she barely knows and they can all jackoff onto her face until she's glazed with [ __ ] and no crime has been committed but in America and only in America she's too young to have a beer if anyone deserves a beer and afraid the home of the brave is the girl with ten loads of [ __ ] in her face in fact if you have ten loads of covering your face you should get free drinks wherever you go you seem like a fun girl all right heavy sleeper

Channel: Jim Jefferies

Views: 2,414,503

Keywords: jim jefferies, comedy, freedumb, comedian, stand up comedy, humor

Id: 1oyKVAjISmI

Length: 7min 6sec (426 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 09 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/SirclickalotWasTaken]

"If anyone deserves a beer it's the (18 yo) with 10 loads cum on her face" Fucking nailed it Jim

[u/Hicko11]

big fan of Jims, unfortunately his latest Netflix stand up was really poor imho.

his older stuff is just amazing though

[u/[deleted]]

As a Canadian, you couldn't pay me to live in America. Not because of the people but because of its government.

[u/SELFSEALINGSTEMB0LTS]

'..or a heavy sleeper' holy shit hahaha

[u/[deleted]]

Not my place to judge but if you feel that way, I can understand. Don't think it's perfect in Canafa but our government's response to the pandemic compare to yours is way more human if you look at the news.

[u/filmbuffering]

Land of the 🇳🇱 free!

[u/[deleted]]

The US is certainly very vocal about a narrow niche of freedom in which it does excell, and then makes that the benchmark of what freedom is.

And that niche is legal protection to be as racist as you want, and be as highly armed as possible.

In almost all other metrics of 'freedom', there are places more free than America.

[u/Prelsidio]

It's funny how the truth is so ridiculous

[u/DigitalAudioSlaves]

"Every single english speaking country on the planet is free"

-looks at Count Dankula's legal troubles over his pug joke-

Y'all so sure about that?