Russell Peters | Red, White, and Brown

[Applause] give it up for the one and only [Applause] [Music] [Applause] russell peterson tonight [Music] give it up for dj spin bad and starting from scratch toronto and new york the two best in the world what's up how you doing look what's going on look at everybody all mixed up i like that white girls with non-white guys that's what i'm talking about huh black guy with an asian girl god damn you're like we gotta capitalize on this tiger wood um oh somebody brought a kid good job huh good job kid's gonna learn some new tonight my friend he's [Applause] asians good to see you huh yeah all right you look upset what's wrong you look like you're looking for a dance dance revolution machine or something asians love that dance dance revolution don't you god damn they love dance dance revolution ddr that's the short that's what they call it ddr see i said that guys so good do you know what it is sir do you know what the dance dance revolution is it's not an actual revolution so you don't have to worry about that it's not like a bunch of asians are going to knock on you hey stop dancing it's not like that it's a revolution a video game it's a video game you can relax again what it is it's a it's a tv screen in front of you and it's got uh these arrows that go in different directions they just keep moving and they go in different directions they're different colors and it plays this shitty euro trash music in the background right sounds like you're in the backseat of a persian guy's car you know what i mean just dude hey bro this is best music bro this is hey bro this is best bro he's he's best bro he's his biggest thing in europe bro he's best in europe bros so it's got the tv the arrows and the shitty music and then on the ground in front of you are these things that light up according to what you see on the screen and you're supposed to step on that and that will teach you how to dance and the asians love it i remember last year i was in singapore and the chinese people in singapore were lined up outside the arcade lined up to play dance dance revolution i was like how hard can this be so i stood in line i get to the machine i put my money in the hardest thing i've ever tried in my life i didn't hit one single thing on the ground i was one step behind every moment and i was doing so badly at one point the machine even said do you even have legs i just said that right across the front of the screen one point this this came up in front of the screen one of these just and i was doing so badly that the chinese dude that was next was getting mad at me because he thought i was bullshitting on the machine he starts yelling at me hey if you're not going to play the game proper then go play something else go play something your people are good at go play the taxi game [Applause] so i got mad right all right face that's what i like to call people when i'm mad and i don't know their name face i find is a good way of going about it because you can't really get offended if somebody calls you face can you if i went hey face you were like well you want to go like you would actually be a face if you want to fight if some guy called you face because really there's worse things you could be called than what is a it's the face you make when you that's all it is it's this this is the face look is that really so bad is it you don't even have to say it to somebody next time somebody cuts you off in traffic pull up a slime and go hey you just call me food but don't roll your eyes don't roll your eyes when you don't be like because then then your face you don't want to become face you just want to be face [Applause] i don't know what it is about coming that makes your whole body freeze for like 10 seconds oh god you get frozen in time right oh my god it's like the end of a sitcom and then the credits come up [Music] explain that to him [Applause] so i'm like all right if you think you're so good let me see you play this this son of a starts limbering up gets to the machine sets it to advanced starts playing he doesn't miss one single step he's just it was the only time in my life i seen an asian dude open his eyes really wide just [Applause] do it dude open your eyes really wide try try try it nothing happens nothing happens i love it this this is the eyebrows move that's it it just [Applause] oh i'm an oh man any arabs in the house tonight arabs in the house all right thank you good night all right what kind of arab are you oh good yeah you're united good so i heard i don't know if you answered me in arabic or if you said the country just now one at a time there fellas which what are you what what libya libya lebanon any other l countries oh good yeah well just for the record just your stones throw away from each other listen i am [Applause] just for the record my arab friends i i don't do any arab jokes in my act it's not that i don't think you're funny i just you know i don't know i don't want to i don't i don't want to die um see because i'll do a joke about an arab and they'll look like they're laughing but it's not the same laugh you were doing like i'll do a joke about an arab and you guys and you look at the arab guy oh no i get this funny joke no no [Applause] don't worry i will talk to him after doesn't feel like every time you turn on the news nowadays some new country is with an arab country every time we turn on the news i kind of blame the media for what's going on wrong in the world right now because they kind of just perpetuate stereotypes about people they don't tell you that's what they're doing they don't go hey this is what you need to think but they know how people's brains work but they do they enforce all this you know what they do is they'll show you an image of somebody of a different racial background and then they'll show you an alternate image like right away of something completely different they don't say the two images are together they kind of present to like what do you think like what they do is they show you like an asian guy and then a car accident i'll show you an indian guy and a 7-eleven what do you think show you an arab guy and an explosion i knew it you know that's how they get in your head they put they put it in there and whenever they show you like arabic being spoken on tv it's always like these crazy people in these protests in the arab world and i was speaking this really harsh arabic and so i was like america because that's what they want us to think is going on over there so i wanted to get to the bottom of this so i went to the middle east last year because i needed to get some rectifying for myself is that rectifying whatever i needed to sort this out for myself because i had this whole impression in my head that arabic was such an ugly language because it's always like people like oh my god no wonder they're angry they're vomiting in each other when they talk then you go to the middle east and you hear real arabs speaking arabic and it sounds nice i was actually turned on by it because i was at this cafe in dubai and i'm chilling right and there's these two arab girls having a conversation behind me and i'm eavesdropping i have no clue what the they're saying but it sounded nice to me [Laughter] and i was like oh god this is good but they never show you those arabs on tv because they're boring they only show you the crazy basically all they're showing you of the arab world are the rednecks of the arab world that's why their arabic is so bad [Music] if you were to translate their arabic accent into an american accent they sound like this we're gonna kill the whole world that's what they would sound like that's how the media does it they show you all the up people that's all they shows is the messed up arabs i bet you in the arab world all they show them of america is jerry springer look at americans they're stupid he's his cousin not like you and me it's different they're doing it dirty it's different we're doing different they do some other ways [Applause] look at all these indian faces jesus christ look at you brown bastards god damn indians just look upset that they had to spend money to be here tonight don't you it's a look on their faces [Applause] this is i don't know why i'm spending money to see someone that looks just like me [Applause] i can stay home and look in the mirror for free we are an endless supply of cheap jokes and you know the best thing about it is indian people we're proud of our cheapness you're never going to insult us by calling us cheap that's the best part you know you walk up to an inning you guys are cheap thank you for noticing thank you thank you very much thank you [Applause] that guy just called you cheap no no no he pronounced it cheap but what he was saying was smart very smart he was we're cheap we're you know here's the thing too it's not like i'm up here going you indian people are cheap and i'm the one that's not no no no no no no no no no just as cheap as you the difference is now i have money i'm just cheap in better stores i'll be looking at like an armani shirt i hate when this happens i'm looking at a shirt from like a high-end designer and i flip the tag over and i see made in india i'm stuck with a real dilemma i'm like do i buy this or do i call my uncle i wonder if he knows where this factory is we are cheap everybody's cheap aren't they never call white people cheap white people get really upset when you call them cheap you ever call the white person sheep they get very angry because white people actually are are probably the only people that aren't cheap you ever call white guy jeep you're a cheap you i'm cheap i'll buy a beer you want a beer that's how white guys get around being cheap you want a beer you want a beer you want a beer you want a beer you want a beer huh come on here you i'm not i'm not cheap about everybody beer everybody's cheap it's all about levels you know where the jews at jews in the house all right arabs the jews are in here go talk to them [Applause] you've got some hugging to do jews i don't know how you got the title of being cheap it's very offensive to indian people and people like jews are cheap we're like no that is very incorrect i am cheap jews are thrifty big difference it must have been like one jewish guy back in the day who was cheap and he it up for the rest of you for the rest of your lives because jews aren't actually cheap you know it's cheap asians asians are cheap as chinese people specifically chinese people at where are you always the wu family nice um chinese people you are cheap like it's crazy but it's about levels like if you were to rate like the top three cheap people in the world indians for sure would be number one on that list see see the pride in it oh yeah fantastic fantastic we are egg dum number one [Applause] indians for sure number one on that list very very close second chinese and jews will give you third place you know just to keep you in the game how about that you know so they don't feel like you're losing everything all right so [Applause] but it's all about levels like let's just say there's a louis vuitton boutique right an indian guy will walk past this louis vuitton store every day of his life and never once step foot in there like not even on that best sale will i be going in there no thank you now if louis vuitton's having a sale jewish guy is going in and he's buying it was on sale what do you want marcus chinese people sale or no sale you're going into louis vuitton every day you never buy but you'll go in every day sales guy can i help you sir uh no just looking minute sales guy turns his back chinese guy whips out a camera goes home emails the pictures to hong kong make this bag quickly we'll sell it to the indians [Applause] [Music] that's a sale you never want to see happening a chinese guy trying to sell an indian guy a louis vuitton bag neither one of them could say louis vuitton properly hey mr indian kai you wanna to sign a pack who's this who's he this is the indian hand motion for i don't know i don't know who i don't i don't i don't know who's he who's this who's this guy it's a designer pack it's uh initials uh lv who's this eloie remember growing up dad who finished the milk i don't know i don't i wasn't dead i don't know son i can't hear nothing nothing is coming i don't know what the that's supposed to mean nothing is coming nothing who's this who's this hell we there's a sign then it has a name underneath [Music] what the are you saying i'm reading the designer's name why don't you spell what you see okay okay okay lose lose is lose huh absolutely loses lose 150 000 sure loses lose that's an indian person convincing your you ever try and buy something like i'll give me the best okay so i'm telling you sir final price best price take it and go take it and go take it and go okay so lose loses lose all right fine lose is lose what's his last name i didn't say say it all up i said spell it out okay we ui be doing because that's how we spell we'll go slow for like the first three letters and then we jog through the other half of the name don't worry we do the same thing with phone numbers or give me a phone number okay two on two triple five a two four six [Applause] and the messed up part is we know the rhythm here's the thing with indian people being cheap our cheapness actually changed the world you see you may be sitting there going well how did you cheapness change the world well let me tell you how because our achievements actually benefited everybody we're so dedicated to being cheap for so long that indian people actually created the number zero do you know how much dedication that took that means back in the day some indian guy was looking at the numeric system one two three four five six seven eight nine [Applause] none of those are amounts i want to pay then his friend came along and drew a circle what's that nothing what's inside of it nothing what's its value nothing it's beautiful we shall call it jiro take it and go [Applause] oh man any italian people in the house tonight italians are you real italian or are you like a new york italian anywhere that's not real italian you know you what your parents are from italy so do you speak italian oh well then you're real italian as long as you speak italian to me you're real italian because you meet a lot of people in new york that are italian but don't speak a word of italian but they act more italian than the actual italians do i was standing in manhattan i was standing right in times square the other day and uh this italian dude walked past me he had a what what i thought was like an indian girl look looked like an indian girl and they walk past me i just stand there chilling you know just you know in times square you can just stand there look at so they walked past and i didn't check out his girl all i did was this they walked past i was like it's an indian thing the minute indian people see another indian person we're like [Applause] i thought i was the only one [Applause] that's the bubble we live in but i didn't gawk she walked they walked by and just did this and i just continued looking at whatever nothing i was just looking at it's time square you're just looking at and i don't know how this dude saw me but all i was saying behind me here aye and it's time score so you don't pay attention to every a that you hear so i'm like i'm just you know hey hey dick face i was like dick face i want to see who this dick face is i'm like that's very close to my face what is it i mean if this is a face what's a dick face you know i don't like i don't put a dick face in i don't i don't know what a dick's face is so i want to see where is this dick face because i dick face and i go and he goes yeah you i'm like i'm dick face i'm where the you get the balls to look at my girl because this is what they do is when they get angry they'll ask you a question and it's a really up question and then it's a rhetorical question to be honest with you but they ask you like you're supposed to answer they wait for you to answer where the let me ask you a question where the where where the do you get the balls to look at my girl where and i'm like what where show me why don't you show me take me take me to the store where you got the balls don't look at my girl where where the did you get the balls where and i i panicked right i'm like costco [Applause] got a jar [Applause] there's a big difference between that italian and real italians aren't there because it's a race it's a race culture issue everybody's got this race culture issue in this country you know anywhere you know there's a big difference between race and culture because racially i'm an indian man culturally not at all many of you may think you're indian or you know some people think they're italian but then they've never been to italy in their life they don't speak italian it's so it always bugs me out when they call black people in america african americans you're not african you're black if a black guy showed up in africa tomorrow what's happening that motherfucker's crazy get him away from me [Applause] they've been looking for a white guy oh my god thank god you're here those brothers over there at their mind same thing for me you know there's a big difference between race and culture because all my life i've been identifying myself as an indian man i'm always like i'm indian yeah what are you i'm indian yeah where are you from i'm indian what do you mean where am i from i'm indian then i realized something i was born and raised in canada there's nothing indian about me the only thing indian about me are my parents and my skin tone that's it culturally i'm not indian at all and the only reason i know this is because last year i went to india to do some shows and i thought i was indian and we were flying over to india i had this overwhelming indian feeling inside of me i was like i'm the most indian man ever i just thought i was so indian you know we arrived in bombay i was like yelling at the flight attendant open the doors to this plane let me have my indian people let me show those indians what it's like to be indian she opened the doors to that plane i turned canadian so fast i was like i am so [Applause] [Applause] did i step in just now when you arrive in india the minute they open the doors of that plane you get an overwhelming blast of smell right up your nose it's almost like they hire somebody to in front of every plane that lands quick quick here it comes on and go and go go go go [Applause] and if you're an indian person out there thinking to yourself that's not true that's not true then you you probably had a cold or landed in the wrong country because racially i'm an indian man culturally there's things that happen culturally if you were not raised in that part of the world you will find it unacceptable like in india grown ass men grown-ass men hold hands with other men and walk down the street like everything's okay and they don't just hold hands they're holding pinkies and swinging that [Applause] and to them there's nothing gay about it here's the thing there's nothing gay to them to them i'm holding my friend's hand what's gay about that see you grew up over here there is no acceptable time for two straight men to ever touch hands ever you ever walked through the mall with one of your guy friends and your hand accidentally bumped it's like what the is wrong with you get off me [Applause] but in india grown ass man hold it like and the guys holding pinkies the best about it is they'll still try and knock on chicks hey what's hello hello hello [Applause] how are you looking very lovely today some guys act like thugs holding hands they'll be holding pinkies and eyeballing you like they're trying to start some i was at the beach in bombay right i'm hanging out this gang of like 17 sorry 16 well 17's an odd number that means one guy's like somebody hold my hand somebody on my right so this [Applause] this gang of like 16 dudes is walking across the beach holding pinkies and giving everybody dirty looks with their dress pants and flip-flops how are you going to start a fight holding another man's hand how how let it go let go let go [Applause] [Music] it's a different world over there man and i was there doing shows i remember before i went to india i was all nervous right because my friends were like my friends were like hey russell man when you go to india they're going to understand your jokes and i was like i don't know are they and then they're like are you going to offend them i'm like i i don't know am i gonna offend them because i realized something before i went a lot of my jokes the punch line is the indian accent but it was funny because when i performed in india everybody understood every single thing that came out of my mouth every joke every line every like suggestion they were with me like they were with it they were completely there and it was funny because every time i did the indian accent they laughed harder because i think that they don't think that they have that accent i think they think there's like one guy in india with this accent probably the same guy sitting in front of every plane you know what i mean because they would come up to me on the streets people were like in india walk up to me on the streets first of all i don't know how the hell they recognize me on the streets i'm like it's india there's over a billion and a half people there i look like every i look at at least like 15 million people but they come up here on the street they go they were so emphatic with their compliments too it was the best thing russell your show last night yeah sure russell you're not sure last night too good too good good son first class a1 fantastic the show was fantastic russell your show was mind blasting mind blasting you mean mind blowing no no anything can blow your mind this blasted my mind it was [Applause] it's an incredible place to go i mean for anybody whether you're indian or not just just to go there and just see like history and that you've never seen before when i went to after my shows when i went to calcutta because that's where my mom is from and i i went to go see my mom's two brothers my uncles and i did something very rude in the indian culture i didn't stay at my uncle's house and right so whatever you know because this is what i mean i'm too north american for my own good i'm too used to certain luxuries now you know like running water a toilet toilet paper there's only so much ass washing with a cup that i want to do in my life you know what i mean [Applause] [Music] [Applause] excuse me pardon me pardon me excuse me excuse me pardon me sorry that one sounded runny never coming back are you kidding that it's warm in here isn't it nice i'm generally sweat i'm dabbing because i'm hairy that's why i'm sweating i'm a hairy man i don't care men are supposed to be hairy that's the way god built us thank you but that's the media the media did that to us the media made it unsexy to be harry have you noticed that that's what they did because they show you images of dudes nowadays with no hair that's what they did and it gets in your head you don't know what's getting in your head remember in the 70s all the dudes had big hairy chests and all of them were like oh he's such a man now you see a guy running across the beach with no shirt on and no body hair or leg anywhere there's no hair and women are like that's what a man should look like and that's what a woman should look like [Applause] they do it to target the younger women younger women generally fall for this i know because i sleep around i don't discriminate young old sexy sexy i was with this one girl she was in her early 20s i took off my shirt and she got physically mad that i had hair on my chest she started pointing she was like ew you're gross have you ever felt your penis invert have you ever had that feeling just [Applause] i had to sit down and pee for a month speaking of saddam np look who's back [Applause] yeah we're going long damn it was like hey we're gonna go see the indian guy maybe we should have indian food she's like honey i don't think any food was such a good idea tonight you're italian are you a hairy dude yeah and you like it right it's good it's more masculine than the hair isn't it you don't like hair look you paused you did an inhale you did this i went you like hair she went um he doesn't have what oh back hair is the problem he doesn't have back hair so he's okay that men are hairy that's how we're built and i'm not saying if you were born without hair you know body hair that you're less of a man that's just the way god built you maybe he doesn't love you as much but but i'm saying i don't trust guys that have hair and get rid of it i don't trust you you're a douchebag there's certain grooming that's okay that is acceptable in my eyes you know like if you have a unibrow and you get rid of the middle that's fine i had a unibrow i got rid of it i've got two eyebrows now that to me made good sense mathematically if i have one drop it in half i have two but i don't trust dudes you did your eyebrows i see you did brother i know you did italian no no you did the middle and then you got carried away because your is you get a shot of that guy his is way too neat [Applause] look at how neat that is that's not natural men shouldn't pluck their eyebrows because we don't know what the end result is supposed to look like i said to one of my friends i go yo man you got a unibrow what should i do [Music] here's some tweezers okay what would i do then i'm just here pluck him out dude plug him out i'll leave you to it i left him to it i come back to his house he shows up at my house the next day he kept plucking his eyebrows she was in my house the next day like this like did you do something to your eyebrows no why oh i don't know because you look surprised for two weeks i couldn't take the guy seriously i've got some bad news [Applause] how do you sleep with that [Applause] i'll admit to doing one extra thing and and i'll admit it to you i trim the hair on my chest i trim it i don't shave it off i just trim it down i have we'll talk after sweetheart i have clippers that i travel with you know like you know for your hair and i and i and i trim the hair on my chest you know i give myself like a fade oh you know why i trim and i'll tell you i have a reason for trimming it just because i don't want this hanging out the front of my shirt like this i hate no see yours is low you're okay i see i don't like when i'm talking to somebody and they have this hanging out the front of the shirt because it distracts the hell out of me hey what's up oh nothing got a new job thinking about buying some real estate met a new girl she's really great and then a breeze comes along and so i trim it i trim it down i start here you know i start with a zero then one two three it's nice it's very gradual it's a really good fade looks like the back of arsenio hall's head in like 91 just really good fade why are you acting like i'm the only guy in this room who shaves his balls why why is this happening right now [Applause] you're a ball shaver aren't you i mean i don't mean of everybody i mean of your own i mean i don't mean like you've got a shop in the street you know this welcome to bernie's ball shaving hut you don't shave your balls dude why wouldn't you it's it's just better it's free look i could stand here right now and do this look and i know that my balls are going along you have a big bush they're not moving they're just moving with you appreciate the effort when you pull it out there's nothing there look see those are the that see a lot of dick those are them [Applause] hello haws it's better it's just better presentation that's why i'll be you know and the real reason honestly the real reason i shave it down to make my dick look bigger that's why it's true that's right i'm not afraid to admit it you know if you mow the lawn the yard looks bigger that's what you do that's because let's be honest as a brown man to another brown man god wasn't kind to us in the dick department all right i'm waiting i'm not saying he short changed us okay i'm just saying he didn't give us any extra god gave indian people a lot of thing big dicks not one of them look all right here's what's gonna happen indians you're gonna be great with computers okay you're gonna be able to survive in the worst conditions imaginable okay you're going to be able to leave those conditions go anywhere in the world and become successful fantastic hey god yeah what about penises sorry buddy average then he called the black people over come here i want to talk to you listen um people are going to be with you for centuries here's a little extra dick i don't worry about it i took it from the indians it's okay it color matches perfectly it but i do i do that and see the media put that in our heads too they made us insecure about the size of our penises you watch a porno nowadays you see these guys with these giant hogs on them these chernobyl waist nuclear reactor dicks on them just you watch that and you see this guy and you're like oh my god i'm never gonna have a dick like that you're not supposed to have a dick like that animals shouldn't have dicks like that then you watch tv late at night they got all these products male enhancement pills and honey what's that it's a natural male enhancement oh really for energy no natural male enhancement ooh they make you insecure about the size of your penis and then women see this and they get caught up in the hype i've heard chicks oh my god i just want to go with a big dick it's the guy's a big dick i don't know it's something about a big dick that i just love i like i like i don't know i don't even care what he looks like he's got a big ticket i'm like that's because you're a that's why your vagina's huge you know instead of giving me a pill to make my dick bigger here's a cream to tighten you up [Applause] so what i'm saying is as a brown man with my balls shaved and everything i can confidently whip out my wiener i go like this but if you have a big bush down there you know you're gonna pull it out she's like is that it you go no no but wait there's more [Applause] ladies what i'm saying is you shouldn't get caught up in all that penis-sized hype just don't get caught up in it because let me tell you something you need to start sleeping with us guys with smaller to regular sized penises because we put in way more effort let me say some guys with big dicks are never going to make love to you properly you know why they don't have to they got a big dick they just show up what's up [Applause] i can't believe i did that with my mom in the audience sorry mom [Applause] i have a theory all right i have a theory i believe that the size of your penis is in direct correlation with how much sex you will have in your life the smaller your dick the more you will because we got our our pride is riding on it you know our ego's at stake you got a small oh yeah you think a small dick i'm gonna you i'ma your friends i'ma this stool i don't care i'll a stool i'll a water bottle i'll everything we don't care we're just everything the smaller your dick the more you will you don't believe me look at the two largest populations in the world [Applause] chinese guys started climbing like yeah oh hey wait a minute lomo it's funny i look over at the kid he's just like i don't know what's happening anymore i don't even have balls yet i hope it wasn't a shot of the kid's nuts that'd be awkward i don't like a lot of sports i'll be honest with him i hate soccer i hate soccer no what are you you boo because i have an opinion boo your opinion get out of america we don't like your thoughts i hate i i hate saga soccer and you for liking it [Applause] let me tell you why i don't like soccer because they have this world cup world camp let me tell you something about the world cup it's not the world cup you know why because the two countries that represent me are never in the world cup canada and india are never in the world cup canada for obvious reasons it's a world event [Applause] we don't get involved in world events you know we look at the us are you guys going yeah oh no go ahead that's great yeah go ahead try that perfect yeah i know we'll stay back we'll tidy up tell me about it's cool it always bothers me that india is never in the world cup we're the second largest population in the world there's 1.2 billion people over there we can't come up with 11 guys to make a team you know what the problem is you have no idea how hard it is to kick a ball straight with curly toed shoes on we're standing in the middle field i'm open i'm open where the hell is the ball going it almost freaks me out that the chinese are never in the world cup you're the largest population in the world and you're known for kicking but it's kicking you know i want to see the chinese team in the world cup i want to see the chinese team when they get into their huddle that's what i really want to see you know you see all the other countries and they get in there huddle all right guys we're going to get out there we're going to pass that ball around we're going to have a good time alright go team you see the chinese team okay hey listen up when you see the ball coming then you go down the field she's the quite low with the ball something's going down be a man [Applause] i love latin people they're fun to me man they're are you are you latino bro are you what are you colombian your girl latina she what are you colombian as well oh you found each other mira colombiana si [Applause] i love latin people any portuguese people here tonight portuguese really brazilian too any brazilians oh you're brazilian brazilians speak portuguese right so so you speak portuguese right yeah so if you speak portuguese obviously you can understand spanish then right because they're very similar to each other aren't they you ever hear somebody speaking portuguese doesn't it sound like spanish being spoken by a deaf person portuguese just sounds like really badly pronounced spanish doesn't it here's a spanish guy counting the three who knows those threes here's a portuguese guy patron [Applause] here's the spanish guy como estas who's a portuguese guy come on you know somebody got mad at me one night they go into russell it's cool when you make fun of different races but you shouldn't talk about deaf people i was like what yeah you shouldn't talk about deaf people no seriously what you know what deaf people are they here even if they were it's up to you to tell them what i'm saying them in their ears let me tell you something about deaf people does anybody here know sign language and i mean actual sign language not this and not gang signs you can't do gang signs to a deaf person i'm like that guy stutters you know if you know sign language you'll know that i'm not making this up whoever invented sign language had their own little racist agenda happening because sign language is a very offensive way of communicating they're trying to change it now to make it more politically correct i'm serious you know what the sign for chinese person is let me tell you something it's exactly what you think it is you still feel bad for these deaf sons of you know what the sign for indian person is [Applause] because i live in la i had to learn the sign from mexican i learned two signs for mexican the first one doesn't even seem offensive till you find out what it is here's the first sign from mexican look you know what that is a poncho here's a second time for mexican this is up too look a long-ass mustache what the does that have to do with being mexican my gardener's never shown up at my house hola senor i'm here to shave the grass you're colombian i don't know what the sign for colombian is probably you know i don't know i'm just saying it's cubans probably [Applause] i don't know i'm just saying as i'm speculating on these ones black people i don't know what the sign for black people is you know i'm probably up you know what i mean i don't know i think he was a negro and i'm just saying i don't know i cannot confirm these ones but anything is possible do you know what the sign for is this is foul i'm not making this up here's a sign for that's the sign for you can have two deaf guys standing around going hey look you have handicapped people mocking other handicapped people [Applause] jews i don't know what you've done to the deaf community i don't know if they had land and you wanted it but i learned [Applause] [Music] i learned three signs for jewish people and i'm not making this up each sign is progressively more offensive than the next the first here's the first time a jewish person now the first sign isn't so bad it kind of makes sense when you say here's the first time for jewish person look right it's a long beard you go oh that makes sense is it a guy yeah that makes sense right then they start to get up and i'm not making this up here's the second sign for jewish person that's up isn't it and here's the third sign for jew and i'm not making any of this up look that is some foul arabs i don't know what the sign for arab is but i can only imagine you know you know what it can't be because deaf people can't hit that note thank you very much new york you guys are awesome peter somebody gonna get a hard deal feel bad tonight hey be a man [Music] russell petersburg [Music] [Music] hey [Music] [Music] somebody going to get a hurt real bad man tonight [Music]

Channel: Russell Peters

Views: 6,114,465

Keywords: Russell Peters, Special, New, Old, Comedy, Comedian, Comic, Very, Funny, Hilarious, Humor, Humour, Best, Canada, Toronto, Brampton, Indian, Asian, Stereotype, Brown

Id: YA37-PJG3cc

Length: 60min 0sec (3600 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 06 2022