JESUS '16 Jessica Koulianos Shares Her Testimony of Freedom

he's so faithful and I know that as we continue on it's gonna just get more glorious and more glorious so this morning I am sitting with David pop Avicii one of Michael Caleo nurses close friends and I'm sure you have many stories personal stories or like glorious stories whatever you want to share but David can you just tell a little bit about yourself and how you got here at Jesus conference yes like so I arrived right yesterday [Laughter] yeah we've been friends with with Michael and Jessica and the family now for several years and it's been a real joy to walk with them and even as we've talked about before just seeing what God is doing in our generation really knitting the hearts together of the fathers and sons you know cross denominational lines with a real focus on loving Jesus and and really giving him the supreme place above above everything else and then figuring out how our different assignments and calling is tie into that and so it's been a real joy and seeing what God has been doing with them and being able to really participate it's been a real joy yeah I think it really is amazing to see all the different gifts that God really has been bringing together and this amazing can you call it a movement I don't even know but it's just because Jesus is glorified I was saying yesterday how beautiful it is that you are we're in this Jesus conference in every Jesus conference I come to I walk away more in love with the person of Jesus because every speaker on the platform they're just worshiping Jesus and getting to know him and I know that you and your family y'all are such a beautiful example of that you're living in the Middle East which many people you know are so afraid to go to which I think is a little humorous I'm like this is the kingdom this is what God is asking us to do to take risks to do these things right but I know that God is doing so much there Jesus is being glorified so what do you see in your heart what have you seen since been there what does God put in your heart for that region because we know that his heart is for the Muslim people his heart is for them to have encounters with Jesus Christ right yeah I think I think one of the interesting things is the fact that even what Daniel shared on the last night was that when we come to Jesus we come into the kingdom one of the things that we do is we relinquish our rights to ourselves and when we do that we actually find ultimate joy in him being king and directing our lives because we get the the high privilege of walking with him and we're not just saved just to be saved from hell as beautiful and critically important as that is but it's to be able to walk with Him and participate with him and seeing his kingdom established and beautiful ways and for us we've really felt pressed for several years even before we moved out we live in northern Iraq we've been there for the last four years but even before we moved there God really started to work and and begin to speak to us about his plan for the Middle East and these last days and during this time and we really believe that that's a sick it's a significant thing that God is doing and that must take place to really assure in his return and seeing the sons of Ishmael come in and then in some ways really provoking the sons of Isaac to repentance just before the Lord returns and I really do believe with all of my heart that we're living in those times and and some of the fruit of that is that there's an there's an unprecedented I believe openness amongst Muslim people right now and the interesting thing is that that it's in the midst of chaos and so if we look at things from from the natural perspective we would think to ourselves to know we might agree yes theologically we believe that there must be an outpouring amongst the Muslim people in the last days I mean it remains one of the very very few unbroken regions of the world I mean God's used SI phan and and other organizations or I'm sorry ministries like that so powerfully even in modern history to break open continents and I understand it's the thing that's historical even those that have come before and will come after but the middle-east is one of those places that is that has remained largely untouched when it comes to just mass salvations or people coming to Jesus in great numbers and one of the reasons is because Islam has been such a power and a principality and a threat that and has been that there hasn't necessarily been fruit and on a large scale but that's starting to change and the openness that we're seeing in the midst of the chaos and the things like Isis and political instability and whatnot not cause us to shrink back in fear but all the more certainly God is doing something because why would the enemy be so upset why would he be you know like it says in Revelation the dragon knowing it's time is short why would he be so upset causing so much chaos and destruction why is he making it such a point to destroy and kill so many lives that he's going to have an eternal hold on now it's because this is the time that God is doing something so rather than seeing things from the natural perspective you know I think it's so important that that we we really beckoned the invitation of the Lord to see what God is doing and I think that a big part of how your life and all of the team there is so effective is because you really truly know number one who your father is who your Savior is and who he has made you to be and I think so many people they get afraid you know you see so many things on Facebook all these news articles of Isis and killings and all of these things and people share them all the time and sometimes when I see those things and they share those I think what is the general response when you're seeing this this news article when you're seeing this is it fear because the only response we need to have when we're seeing these things is complete faith in God and this like the stirring of we walk with light and not darkness and from the very beginning when God said let there be light the light had one and darkness doesn't stand a chance and so I think it takes these people that are stirred and know who God is and who they are to stand in these places in these places of darkness because they know there's no competition between light and darkness there's no chance that darkness could ever extinguish it so if we're we know these things we can stand boldly in our places wherever God has asked us to be you know and I really believe that there's people watching that God has been stirring these crazy wild risky dreams for the kingdom of God and if you can just pray for the people you know that God just continues to stir that that fire keeps going but that they're bold to say yes to whatever it is to carry their cross right yes so yeah I definitely want to pray right now and and whoever may be watching right now if there's if you feel in your heart there's a real call and the Lord has invited you to walk with them in a unique way and serve Him whether that be in your own community or you know across the world Lord I just I thank you right now Lord that when you call us before you call us - anything else you call us to yourself and when you invite us to walk with you to participate with you to see a kingdom established you call us to just that to walk with you and to be with you and to join you and what you're doing so God we pray Lord that for those that you are calling that there would be a deep work of the Spirit in the heart a deep love a deep trust a deep understanding of who you are and God that there would be love and faith and confidence that you would drive out all fear Lord that a deep knowledge of who you are and love and trust and dependency will drive out worry and anxiety and fear and the turbulence of this world and that you would lead those even right now the ones that you are speaking to Lord into the into the full destiny of God the upward call of God in Christ Jesus in Jesus name mm oh I'm excited about today I know that God is gonna do so much I'm trying to so there's just today at 9 a.m. right we've got Theo jr. right and then you'll just have to wait and see oh thank you for coming y'all are an inspiration you and Danielle his amazing wife she's a hero she's my my personal hero she's amazing you have amazing kids just like all following the call of Jesus and loving him thank you yeah thank you so much thank you too yeah so what else are you expecting for this week really believing that God's gonna do something very special I'm really like like you mentioned as well you know every time I come to Jesus conference I really feel that there's a real unity that's oriented around the presence of the Lord yeah and and I believe that God is saying something through these different voices in a unique way but that ultimately there's one big thing that usually trying to say to us and I really believe them for this conference is the presence of the Lord so that's right over joining in right now why don't y'all get ready to see what God's gonna do okay thank you guys so much so we're gonna hold the first three rows still but everything behind that we want you to would love for you to fill in and if your seat has a sign on it just place that sign under your seat making their ways to their seats are you full of excitement this morning you full of excitement this morning are you full of expectation this morning well let the redeemed of the Lord [Music] come on where the poor users Jesus is here and we believe anything good can happen here somebody say anything good can happen here come on say anything good can happen here now I want you to think about that hard thing I want you to think about that challenging thing I want you to think about that thing that's been stubborn I want you to think that about that thing that's been that's been looking you in the face and saying it will never change now I want you to say with all the faith you've got anything good can happen here come on anything good can happen here I feel the atmosphere changing come on say anything come on say anything good can happen here you've been telling your God how big your problems are but this morning we're about to tell our problems helping our God is good in well let's get going I believe that God's got an intention for you and his intention will be made manifest in your life this morning would you help me welcome to the city stage right now to open us up in prayer Michael down come on if you love Jesus I just want you to lift up your hands come on let's lift our hands all over the room this morning come on if you've got hunger in your heart right now I want you to lean come out of your mouth just begin to lift up your voice come on if your heart is burning right now I want you to lift up your voice lift up your voice let it out let it out we love you Jesus [Applause] rise rise rise let it rise [Music] precious Holy Ghost we ask you to reveal all of the lesser lovers in our lives that have lied to us and promised of satisfaction outside of the presence and the voice of Jesus help us this morning to recognize every distraction to recognize every lie that has us bound free our hearts this morning from all of the lesser lovers 3 our hearts this morning from everything not leading us to Jesus Lord we love you we love you we love you we love you we love you Jesus Jesus we want you you and only you come on if you want the Lord lift your hands Lord every hungry heart right now every hungry heart right now begin to all shelter and sip through but every distraction let it be removed all the lesser lovers in pursuits let it be removed help us Lord to love you into watch you [Music] we worship You Lord we worship You Lord we were [Music] come on if you love him just lift up your voice just begin to let wash your eyes [Applause] [Music] yeah I welcome here we where you [Music] you [Music] holy Oh [Music] lift your hands one more time I want you to shout this out say god today is my day I'm not leaving here the same I'm leaving changed set free [Music] for you [Music] hallelujah you have one [Music] come on church singing out [Music] hallelujah you [Music] signally [Music] ah you ah [Music] you [Music] by you strike [Music] we are here by Stan stance by watch me [Music] Jesus super king [Music] Jesus everyone [Music] [Music] see chesty you are we got here by his name stance with by [Music] we'll wash me now we [Music] his brother Jesus okay Jesus [Applause] [Music] [Music] ah [Music] [Music] reason I got his risen he is alive he won Rafi come on sing I've got his wrist come on like an anthem lift up [Music] ah he is [Music] you [Music] [Music] you ever [Music] [Music] you ah [Applause] you [Music] [Music] [Music] you [Music] see [Music] [Music] [Music] and damn could not vote you you are lucky seen it in majesty you are key [Applause] so I'm gonna give a shout to the Lord tonight [Applause] let's crank it up in here tonight today tonight it's than I am today let's do it are you alive this morning [Music] we love you Jesus [Music] looks like too the sky was heavy feels like the Wills in our land and America are gonna change beneath my feet the earth is ready I know it's time for heaven Trey it's gonna read lip [Music] my heart was heavy feels like it's time to dream again [Music] [Music] Oh all around the world we're singing can't give the up there screaming my hardest but still I'm singing rain it me [Applause] [Music] to dance [Music] now there any Davidson here this morning [Applause] [Music] [Music] we'll see through the mute we'll see [Applause] will rise we'll pray darkness feet [Music] [Music] don't comes through your will be done [Music] not a shame [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] come on lift your voice we bless your name Oh you lift your boys things [Music] you are the world you [Music] and all the agency holy are you lord [Music] all the saints [Music] holy [Music] you are poor precious [Music] more costly than go [Music] you [Music] desire can bear [Music] thus I come back [Music] nothing compares [Music] but city operations [Music] costly anger [Music] I desire nothing I desire Lord [Music] no nothing at all [Music] desire come there [Music] [Music] this is a realm of your glory Caesar realm of your grace I can feel your mighty power it is moving in the space in the presence I made with God's glory on the leaders like the voice of man he was I can merely a you to see [Music] Oh like heaven it's just like Kevin see ya [Music] scissor elmire glory zoos around [Music] I can feel your mighty power it is ruling in this place [Music] thousands of angels we've got a story on the Wiis like the voice of man [Music] your heart [Music] and you are [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] all that your passion [Music] Oh I see racist Oh [Music] praises to you Oh for your name [Music] I give the Lord to your [Music] for your name team is ready hungry [Music] I sing praises to your name to you raises - yo [Music] your name [Music] let's just lift our hands to the Lord come on all over the room [Music] what'd you just say his name all over the room just say the name of Jesus [Music] when Jesus Jesus we give you praise come on just begin to bless I feel chains breaking Jesus we give you glory [Music] I really feel in my spirit that the Lord is breaking chains let's lift the shout of praise Jesus negative brain [Applause] [Music] Lord we thank you we thank you Lord for what you did last night we thank you Lord that it'll be even greater today everything increases Jesus and the spirit so Holy Spirit we do our best right now to yield have this day in Jesus name come on agree with me have this day in the name of Jesus and glorify Jesus Lord glorify Jesus here Holy Spirit in Jesus name Amen amen can we give him more praise come on just one more time [Music] why don't you find a few people love on them love on them tell them today you're going to be touched and messed up are you ready for a great great morning ready for another one ready how good was last night yeah why don't we just thank God for what he did so he'll do more come on just thank you thank you Jesus you know it's so amazing I have Jean Michel here father Jean Michel he's a stand-up Jean Michel we call him father Gucci right bill look at hey real quick just show them your shoes real quick hey can we get it closed up hey so I didn't know priests were allowed to wear those [Applause] jean-michel has an amazing Ministry of healing and in France and throughout Europe he loves the Lord is full of the Holy Spirit and I got to come and preach we're just honored to have you here man we're good we're trying to get the Pope to a Jesus conference and you're gonna help us do it's just so awesome we have Roy fields two sisters some Pentecostals some confused folk here specifically Todd more confused some we don't even know what we are I don't throw bill into that lump but hey today's gonna be awesome can we let Roy fields know how much we love him and how awesome it is to have him here love you Roy Roy's got some awesome awesome stuff out of the at the resource table it's actually on the SI phan table go ahead and get that he's got stand-up right it's a DVD that you taped up north right yeah this is so powerful and then his CD here make sure to get out and go grab those it's super super annoying it so I'm really excited Jesse's gonna preach this morning are you ready are you ready so babe why don't you make your your way up here with those boots if you can yeah yeah come on do you have your Bible oh you don't need one okay okay she memorized it last night the whole thing so jess is really gonna share this is the first conference you spoken in right first years I think this is like the biggest preaching thing I've ever done in my life so um justjust gonna share her heart and cut her heart open and just bleed on us with reality and authenticity does that sound good and so yeah the Lord has taken us on a really amazing journey this year and I really think many of you are gonna be touched and internally that many of you your hearts are gonna be mended and you're gonna feel like you're not alone that Jesus loves you and that Jesus can touch you the deepest core of your being so I'm just super excited about this it really is so special to me on so many levels to have Jesse up here so I love you all right can we let her know that that we love her thank you guys so much this is I've never done anything like this so this is gonna be really raw I didn't sleep last night not even five minutes and one of my kids threw up like five times last night so I kept trying to prepare and I had my alarm clock set to wake up early and like I'm gonna just pray that didn't happen so it's just me depending on God that's all I can give you right now because that's all I have that's all I have I just want to start with prayer real quick because I really believe what Michael said and he didn't even know that I felt that but the Lord told me I'm gonna break chains off people today because that's what he's done with me so I can share my story and I pray that God does the same for you because it's the best feeling in the world there's nothing like it so let's just turn our hearts right now to God god we just love you so much Holy Spirit we welcome you right now god I have nothing to give all I have is you just you and me Jesus I just ask that you'll come here right now Holy Spirit use my words but nothing of me come out only you I'm so dependent upon you right now Jesus touch your people Lord father I ask that not one person that deals with anything Lord that does not of you will leave here the same in Jesus name in Jesus name we welcome you Holy Spirit ah so anyways I'm probably gonna cry a lot so don't mind me and my I didn't wear like any eyeliner down here like I always do because I'm probably gonna look ridiculous but whatever so some of you know me some of you don't so Michael's my husband and we run Jesus image together which is amazing it's been awesome I every year I come to these conferences and I just look around and I can't believe that the Lord has done what he's done with Michael and I it just it doesn't feel real it still doesn't feel real I probably never will and I hope it never does I don't want to ever get used to this but I grew up in ministry some of you might know that my dad's Benny Hinn so can you be nicer on the threads on Facebook please now you know that so many people are like why do they have that guy I can't stand him he's my father bozo come on that's all I like he's family we love him I love my dad that's a whole nother issue but I don't think I told Michael like I don't think people know were related to him there it may be if they know they wouldn't be so mean but that's a big part of my story and I bring that up because a lot of people see pastors kids like me people in ministry and they think we have it all together and let me tell you there's that is so far from the truth you have no idea okay you have no idea I'm honored to grow up in the family that I grew up in I felt blessed that God's using my husband the way that he is I think it's amazing I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world I wouldn't trade the way I grew up for anything in the world but growing up that way man I would have given you my life in a second I really would have it wasn't easy it was hard ministry's hard it is life is hard we all have a hard life our stories are all so different but they're all the same it was lonely I felt alone I felt broken I felt misunderstood I still do that's okay probably always will feel that way I felt rejected I felt used I felt not loved at times my family was wonderful not perfect but busy really busy and I never really knew who I was to sum it up I never I really to be honest with you just in now finding who Jessica really is I never knew anything outside of being Benny Hinn's daughter when people introduced me this is Benny Hinn's daughter not even my name which is okay I understand I do that to people too that have family and ministry that I respect but that was always my label now it's this is Michael's wife which is awesome for Michael that was a funny little shift when people were like this is Michael's wife I'm like wait hello Benny Hinn's daughter over here like hello it's like it shifted nobody cared anymore about that they're all like this is Michael colleano's his wife which is awesome but through that I found myself saying okay that's great but who am i God who is me what am what am I here for am I just here just to be in a great family - that does awesome works alright just am I here to stand by Michael and just support him which that's good I should be doing all that and let me tell you something I'm honored to stand here and talk to you guys but there is no greater honor than being a wife and a mother that's where I get my joy so I need to make that really clear because this is great but I'd give this all up just to be with my children and to be with my husband and serve them that's the greatest calling if I do that well I've won so women don't forget that please please don't forget that but anyways a little bit about my background you know I oh there you go doesn't even it's not gonna do any good it's just it's okay I'm gonna be a mess up here but um you know I obviously born into a Christian home knew the Lord as a child loved him with my whole heart got around the wrong crowd felt alone felt lost felt rejected Saul things that most kids my age probably shouldn't see in the church unfortunately a lot of negativity and it's not I'm not trying to make it a sad story I'm just saying I'm just telling you my story so you can understand why I felt the way I felt I'd say if you could sum up my childhood I felt alone and that's not because I had bad parents it's just I just didn't know who I was I felt like nobody looked inside nobody knew the pain nobody knew the hurt nobody knew how badly I just wanted somebody to just think of me just me just outside of everything else just Jess so I went through years of backsliding we laughed me and my cousin went to oru and got kicked out of Christian College so that will sum it up I was not a good kid okay not a good kid and when I got kicked out of college some things were said about me by some leaders and they said she'll never amount to anything that girl's a mess she's she's hopeless she'll never succeed in life she's all over the place all she is is a misfit she's full of trouble and you know what I believe those things about me and I heard those things from people in the church my whole life from a kid not for my family just from outsiders and you know what's sad when you hear things so much you start to believe them it's just the way we're wired so I started to believe all those things and I went with a family called Cesar Castillo no I don't know if any of you know him amazing amazing man of God he took me in he loved on me I went to stay with him for two weeks didn't speak English okay I don't speak Spanish but I went to Colombia with him and they just took yes they took me in and loved on me and just really loved me and I got set free of unforgiveness hurt anger I really got set free it was awesome and that's a big part of my testimony but the part I've shared that part before but the parts a lot of people don't know is through the years and the last few years going through life with Michael I just became cold inside I really did I just speak I just did the motions which I think so many of us do I thought that I could just write on the fact that my husband was doing great works and I was around some of the most amazing men and women have gone that we know right now and I just was living with them if that makes sense I didn't have my own personal relationship with Jesus the way I should have and you know what happened sin came in I became cold I was playing a part for all of you I was being something I wasn't I didn't know Jesus the way I should have known Jesus I was dead inside I started getting anxiety attacks I started having horrible fear to the point where it crippled me I couldn't even sleep for probably three years I didn't sleep at night all through the night horrible fear the worst kind of thoughts you can imagine the devil got his grip on me and I let him and let me tell you how I let him I became cold to Jesus I turned my back on him not because I didn't believe in him not because I didn't love him not because I was partying and acting the way I used to act when I really was a sent her big-time but not acting that way I just became cold inside and the devil came in and tormented me and I know as Christians we just think we all we go to these conferences we go to church every week it's awesome and we just play the part we got to be real it's not the way to live it's just not there's no joy in it there's nothing good in it there's no relationship with Jesus that's why we're Christians that's what being a Christian is all about to know him really know him and I would watch Michael pray for years all day have these amazing encounters I'd hear him and my dad talk all the time about these amazing things they were seeing Michael talked to Eric and Brian and all of his friends and like crazy and I was like wow that's amazing but I just don't that doesn't happen for me I don't get that that just sounds really cool but I don't know but the truth is I wasn't even giving Jesus a chance I wasn't giving him any of my time you can't just expect him to just show up all the time and you don't even turn your heart towards him he's not cheap he's really not so to sum it all up and my kids aren't here so I'm gonna be careful with everything I say but I got to the point where I ended up in the hospital last year and I thought it was my heart because I've had a little issues in my whole life nothing big but and then Michael doesn't even know I heard the paramedics ended up coming to the house I'm just being really honest right now with you guys because I felt so weird in my body like physically in pain my chest was hurting couldn't breathe I thought I was having a stroke honestly it really freaked me out I'm not one I have a really like high pain tolerance I'm not one to say I'm sick like I am not that girl and so it scared me and I told Michael you gotta call the paramedics I'm scared that something's not right right now and I overheard one of the paramedics tell the other one I think it's anxiety and when he said that felt like boom cuz I've had family members that have had anxiety attacks and nervous breakdowns and I always looked at them as weak I always thought not me I'm strong I'm a pretty strong-willed girl I've always been really strong I've been the strong one in my family I've been the one that everyone's always leaned on that goes with and my whole family if you have a problem you call Jess it's always been that way and that was really my identity I kind of leaned on that so jess is the strong one you don't you can't be weak but here I was just laying in a hospital overnight and I was like wow it happened to me I thought this would never happen to me I made fun of people that this happened to I looked at them as weak so that was a big shake and they checked me out fully everything was physically fine it was for sure a nervous breakdown for sure and I mean I hate even saying that but it's true I had a full-on breakdown last year and things were really dark and my family I didn't know if we would be okay I really didn't I didn't want anything to do with any of this I was just tired life had worn me down just from everything in life all the ups and downs that we all have I just couldn't handle it any more and I felt like I was a robot I felt like I wasn't even here if you talked to me you'd feel like you were talking to a wall I'm there but nothing's inside that's really how I felt so Michael reached out to people like Bill Johnson and other people that we love and people don't know this we went and moved for reading we were there right now we're gonna come back in like a month or two but we were desperate we're like I need I gotta get out of this state I can't keep living this way anymore I can't do it anymore I can't I can't play the part I just can't I can't be fake so we've been in Redding for a few months and we've leaned on others which is really a great thing to do it's awesome I've never asked for help for anything in my life ever and for the first time I realized I really need help I need to get better this is not okay this is not okay so we've been in Redding I call in pastor bill he gets mad but Bill Johnson has been incredible he and his wife will probably never know what they've really done for me they'll probably never know and my family my kids are having encounters I mean just crazy stuff is happening and it's been awesome and we become friends with people like Jason Balaton and people like that they're just really poured into us and how really helped me you know if you're going through something don't be too prideful to reach out for help it's okay it's okay no one's perfect no one's perfect and along with that my entire family right here the on his clan have been amazing I don't know what I would have done if Rachel and Theo and my mother-in-law and father-in-law weren't with me through this season I don't think I would have made it so we've been there and I have to tell you guys getting help and talking to others and leading others has been amazing but the most amazing thing that's happened to me is I met Jesus I've met Jesus again he's so real to me right now he's so real and you know what even though through the years I know he'll be stronger but I'm gonna miss this time with him if that makes sense because right now he's so loving to me cuz I need him really bad because I've been really weak lately and he's made me strong there's nothing like it you can get all the counselling in the world you can call your friend a thousand times you can cry you can scream you can do all that stuff and I'm telling you right now if you don't find Jesus in these seasons you won't make it trust me please trust me and what has amazed me about the Lord it's just how good he is how much he loves us how much that he even though I don't deserve him how he still comes there's nothing like him and it's not hard that's the thing I always thought I'm like well Michael prays for hours a day and him and his buddies go on lock aways and I don't have time for that the other day when I was praying my kids were literally beating each other up in the next room and I could hear them fighting and I could hear things banging and then I was like guys quiet and then my son Theo over there comes in and starts doing the moonwalk as I have this glory track on and I'm like okay God you understand you know you know I'm a mom you know I'm busy I don't have the time like Michael does to go on these lock away trips like I just need you right now and you know what's amazing

Channel: Jesus Image

Views: 65,088

Rating: 4.8708286 out of 5

Keywords: Jessica Koulianos, Todd White, Jesus is king, Bethel, kanye west, Jesus Image, Upper Room, Michael Koulianos, Bill Johnson

Id: j2puudnjBmw

Length: 68min 26sec (4106 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 08 2016