Jail Cellmate - SNL

>> OPEN CELL 517 NEW PRISONER. >> DON'T LISTEN TO THEM. THEY'VE BEEN HERE SO LONG THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HUMAN. >> THANKS. SO WHAT ARE YOU IN HERE FOR? >> YOU DON'T ASK A MAN THAT IN HERE. YOU PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN, KEEM TOUR BUSINESS. >> WOW, OLD-TIMER, YOU REALLY KNOW THE ROPES. I'VE NEVER DONE TIME BEFORE. THIS FRIGGING SUCKS. >> HEY, YOU DON'T COME IN HERE WITH YOUR FILLth. YOU NEED TO GET A JOB. >> HEY, COSBY, KEEP IT DOWN. THIS IS A 10th WARNING AND YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE FOUR DAYS. >> RIGHT ON. >> WOW, BILL COSBY. I MEAN, ON BEHALF ON EVERY ONE OF YOUR FANS, IT'S SO DISAPPOINTING TO BE MEETING YOU NOW. >> WHAT? I AM IN MY PRIME. I'M IN JAIL AND LOVING IT. NO KIDS WITH THE DARN ES THINGS. LIMITED INTERACTIONS WITH CAMILLE. AND WHEN I WAS FIGHTING INCARCERATION, I HAD NO IDEA THAT ONE OF THE STAPLE FOODS OF THE PRISON SYSTEM IS JELL-O. >> I KNOW WE ARE CELL MATES BUT I REALLY HOPE YOU ARE NOT ENJOYING PRISON, MR. COSBY. >> DR. COSBY, YOU PEOPLE. >> I'M NOT A -- I'M 43rd. >> YOU KNOW I WANT TO TALK TO THE YOUNG BLACK MEN IN THIS JAIL. I'M GOING TO TELL THEM WITH NO GOD'S PRESENCE THAT THEY CHOSE TO WEAR THE PANTS AROUND THE BUTT. AND THEY SHOULD BE IN JAIL. >> I WOULD BE SUPER INTERESTED IN SEEING YOU DO THAT. >> WELL, THANK YOU. I'M GOING TO NEED A FOLDING CHAIR, A SWEET SUIT AND HEAD SET MICROPHONE. >> ON YOUR FEET. WE ARE SEARCHING CELLS. >> OKAY, WE NEED TO HIDE SOME THINGS. >> WHAT HAVE YOU GOT IN THERE, DRUGS? >> WORSE. OH, HELLO MY BE LOVED. >> WOW, SO YOU REALLY EAT HUGE HOGIES? >> WELL, NOT ANYMORE. THEY PUT ME IN JAIL FOR LOVING ASSAULTY FOODS. >> THAT'S NOT WHY YOU ARE IN JAIL. >> AND NOW EVERYBODY ON TV IS THE BURPING AND SAYING FLIP OFF FOR YOU. QUICK, I DUG THIS IN THIS POSTER. >> I THINK YOUR EYESIGHT IS BAD AND IT'S UPSIDE DOWN. >> DON'T WORRY YOU'LL BE SAFE IN HERE, DENISE. >> WAIT, YOU DUG THAT TUNNELL FOUR DAYS. >> THAT'S RIGHT. I HAVE TWO SPOONS, AND I DID THIS. >> WOW, YOU ARE JUST LIKE CLIFF HUCK STABLE, SEPTEMBER IN ONE MAJOR WAY. >> YOU HAVE TO HELP ME HIDE THIS BALL. HEESZ ALL I HAVE. >> I ALMOST FEEL BAD FOR YOU YOU ARE AN OLD MAN GOING DIANE ALL YOU HAVE A TURTLE. >> TURTLE? I THOUGHT THIS WAS QUINCY JONES. YOU ARE GOING TO SIT THERE AND LIE TO MY FACE? >> I WANT TO SWITCH CELLS. >> OH, YOU FOOL, HOW COME EVERY TIME I TRY TO MENTOR SOMEONE, IT ENDS UP TURNING ON ME. >> CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? AND THIS IS GOING TO COME OUTWEIGH MEANER THAN I INTEND? BUT HAVE YOU CONSIDERED JUST DYING? >> WELL, I CAN'T. MY LOVE OF DANCING IS ON THE DEFIBRILLATOR. ALMOST I ALMOST DIE, I JUST DO THIS TO BRING MYSELF BACK TO LIFE. >> WHAT AREN'T YOU GETTING ABOUT THE SITUATION? BECAUSE YOU SEEM GENUINELY HAPPY TAN IT'S TERRIFYING. >> WELL, I HAVE MY REGRETS. IN FACT, I WANT YOU TO DELIVER THIS LETTER IF YOU GET OUT BEFORE ME. IT'S TO AN OLD FRIEND. >> IT STAYS, HEY ELVIN, I HEARD YOU WORK DOWN AT THE TRADER JOE'S. SEND ME A TUB WITH THE PEANUT BUTTER INSIDE. >> I'M BUSSING OUT. I HAVE WOODY ALLEN TO DRIVE THE GET AWAY CAR. BETWEEN TWO OF US WE HAVE ONE WORKING EYE BALL. >> DO YOU GIVE IT? >> NO, I'M NOT GOING TO SKIN IT. NORMALLY I HAVE SOME SMALL AMOUNT OF SYMPATHY FOR 80-YEAR-OLD MAN BEING SENT TO PRISON. BUT YOU DAMAGED COUNTLESS EYES. MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE AND FACE WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DID. >> THEO. >> NOT MY NAME. >> THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD. ARE YOU AFRAID TO STUDY. I AM YOUR FATHER AND I'LL KILL YOU. >> DAM IT, COSBY, QUIT QUOTING CLASSIC EPISODES. OPEN CELL 517. >> CAN I SWITCH CELLS? DO YOU HAVE SOLITARY? >> YEAH, RIGHT THIS WAY. >> SO LONG, JACK. FOUR DAYS DOWN AND I HAVE THE HOUSE TO MYSELF. ♪ ♪ >> SO WHAT DID WE LEARN TONIGHT? NOT MUCH. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW OLD YOU ARE, IF YOU GOT FRIENDS AND MUSIC, YOU CAN GET A GROOVE GOING. AND I AM IN FACT QUINCY JONES. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

Channel: Saturday Night Live

Views: 6,909,882

Rating: 4.7271738 out of 5

Keywords: nbc, snl, saturday night live, snl host, snl 44, snl season 44, season 44, derrick dugan, prisoner, jail, cell mate, cellmate, bill cosby, kenan thompson, chris redd, s44, s44e3, episode 3, live, new york, comedy, sketch, funny, hilarious, late night, host, music, guest, laugh, impersonation, actor, improv, musician, Seth Meyers, Late Night with Seth Meyers, weekend update, Golden Globes, talk show host, Paul Simon, Simon & Garfunkel, In the Blue Light

Id: YrN2LCJRES4

Length: 5min 49sec (349 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 13 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/adjust_your_set]

The moment I saw Keenan on the bed in the dark I said out loud to my wife “oh god that’s Cosby”

[u/OrionMessier]

This sketch blew my mind. It perfectly captures the dissonance of people (like myself) who love the first several seasons of the Cosby Show while also hating the person Cosby turned out to be.

"I got these two spoons and I just a-dweezle, dwazzle, zeeble zabble." I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard at SNL. My team!

[u/Froghatten]

Such a great reveal and done so well