Interracial Couples, What Shocked You the Most About Your Lover's Culture?

interracial couples what shocked you the most about your soul's culture my wife had to deal with korean people who will frequently comment about your appearance as a greeting my aunt meeting my soul nice to meet you your face is so small this really wears down your self-esteem after living in korea for a while i learned very quickly that when you are eating food at my greek so's house you always leave a little bit on your plate if you don't they'll say oh you're hungry and pile five times as much food onto your plate same goes with my chinese family if there's nothing on your plate people assume that you like the food so much that you need more not my relationship but my sister is french and is dating a chinese guy he buys so much rice she told me she could hold a siege for a whole year with it and she keeps texting me stuff like can you believe it with pics of kilos and kilos of rice he just bought he buys so much rice she told me she could hold a siege for a whole year with it probably working out pretty well for him right now being late to social gatherings is so ingrained in their culture that showing up right on time is considered rude she has literally made me pull into a parking lot and wait so that we were at least 10 minutes late to dinner at tita's house and we were still the first ones there by far jello so many kinds of jello every person in the surrounding south dakota farming community brings a different kind of jello to social gatherings i'm half spanish on my mum's side we never really got on with my dad's family which is sad because some of his more distant relatives are amazing people so i was raised in my mom's culture my husband's family are lovely people but how their family works is so strange to me when they talk to each other it's how i'd interact with a work colleague i don't see very often polite cheerful but never touching on personal subjects they seemed horribly embarrassed when we called them to announce our engagement we live on opposite sides of the world i was a bit offended until i got to know them better they do care and they are warm they just don't express it like my family do i did warn my husband about my family but i don't think he really understood we are loud loud enough that if you want to talk you shout over everyone else there are a lot of us we are all up in each other's business our family will subsume you if they like you he gained five aunts and uncles and ten first cousins without asking for them my family also subsumes my mom's cousin brought his girlfriend to his aunts my grandma's house and after brief introductions hi i'm she became another family member they're engaged now my boyfriend is half japanese and his very unemotional relationship with his mother and his father too was a huge shock to me my parents are european immigrants from the balkans and they're incredibly affectionate my brother and i are affectionate with each other and will hug anytime i hug my parents nearly every day before the pandemic i grew up holding hands with my cousins in public but my boyfriend absolutely hates pda of any kind we've gotten into numerous arguments about physical affection in public or even at parties around our own friends naturally he thinks my relationship with my family is very weird because we hug when i was dating a mexican i'd go to his family parties and they would play the most foul-mouthed gangster rap frick the police blasting at a five-year-old's birthday abolish and a booleas up and dancing to it i made a comment about how liberal his parents and grandparents must be he said oh they don't know english this absolutely wouldn't fly if they knew what it was about oh being so touchy touchy i'm asian and cheese hispanic enough said also what surprised us was the foods there were so many things present in our opposite cultures but used in a lot of opposite ways like certain ingredients used savory in one culture and sweet in the other and so in but a lot of ingredients in common the sweet beans thing in asian cultures can be very polarizing i think a few things i'm white he's haitian one the family drama there is always some kind of drama at any given moment of the day two eating super late on holidays like christmas or thanksgiving i swear my mom's cooking it should be done by noon is loosely translated to we aren't eating until nine o'clock at night and someone still has to run to the store a couple times three intentional tardiness i like to be early for things and he can just dilly dally around and be okay being late for things his mom can't leave the house until about an hour after she has to be somewhere for the excessive pushing to get married and have kids i attended his brother's haitian wedding and the entire time when you guys going to get married when you guys going to have kids i swear for the entire six hours five the partying i'm cool with this part though everything's a party black british with the jamaican family married to a white british guy was most shocked by funerals when we had his nana's funeral i was shocked that people were invited and only immediate family we did the funeral then went to a pub and there were sandwiches cakes ttc then everyone was heading home by 5 30 p.m jamaican and caribbean funerals are nothing of the sort people turn up because they knew the deceased person years ago some people don't even make plans to go to the funeral they arranged to go to the after there's hot food served like a properly catered function in a hall or center there's sound system set up and people dance also sometimes a couple old men in hats playing dominoes there's also usually a nine night so nine nights after the person passes away you hold a big party essentially to chase away bad spirits lots of music drinking food smoking etc i told husband about this and his face was a picture american blacks won't have dancing but we will have everyone who knew someone relatively well that is related to the dissident there there is always food and after the function too and fellowshipping money management i was quite surprised that when we got married we were supposed to give away half of the cash we received as gifts to my sew's cousins i was then instructed that it was rude to have a savings account if we had extra money it should always be given to the family as gifts not happening i'm white that married a mexican the biggest thing for me was that everything is a family affair like i call my family every other week or whatever but my husband's family does everything together my first taste of this was when we were dating and it took the whole family to switch out his mattress for a bigger one i was like you couldn't do that yourself he looked at me funny when i said that it's not interracial in any real way but i had a bonkers family dinner out with my wife's maltese family one time if you're unfamiliar maltese people are basically italians who get super mad when you call them italians we were seated at the end of the long long dining table with my wife's two aunts and uncles her dad's brother and sister and their spouses all in their 60s and 70s dina was served family style at this restaurant and these two old floridian ex-new yorker second generation maltese couples ate like this the lassen would hit the table the wife would dish some for the husband some for herself and then pass it to the other wife the next wife would dish some for her husband some for herself and a pass it to my wife who without blinking dished some for me some for herself and passed the tray down the table now this woman has never served me dinner in a restaurant anyway she's a great cook at home in her life she's a whole independent modern woman who is super clear that i'm a grown batman who can get his own food but at this dinner her serving me happened entirely seamlessly as if it's just how we did it too then the veal came same routine then the spaghetti same then the pork chops same if you're counting we're now four entrees into dinner and i didn't mention appetizers and salad and i've been dished a serving of each by my bizarrely servile wife i'm no slouch at eating but this is starting to get well silly as i look around at the other husbands because we're clearly in rome here they are stuffing in each of these courses as if it was the first then the desserts started coming it was a flan and then a creme brulee and then a tiramisu i was served a serving of each by the end of this i was beginning to win jordibly as i gloamed the final bite of tiramisu i looked up breathing heavily and caught an approving nod from her uncle charlie as i pushed back from the table i looked around and realized that every man in that family is literally 50 to 100 pounds overweight but as someone who has lived in both malta and italy i would not say these cultures are all that similar while there is certainly an influence in italy maltese culture is its own unique blend of a whole bunch of other cultures including arab british super catholic etc combined with the distinctive quirks that seem to arise in small islands food i grew up in a house where my dad is a good cook and we'd always have family dinner together so i thought i was in a food oriented household well a month after i started dating my husband he brings me to a big family dinner grandparents were there and all the aunts and uncles 20 people around one of those big lazy susan tables i was the only white person in the whole restaurant they would all be chattering away in cantonese and suddenly i'd hear my name followed by laughter and a big scoop of something landed in my bowl not wanting to be rude i tried to eat everything if i was really unsure i'll lean over to my boyfriend or his mom and ask what it was and their answer invariably was it's good you'll like it on the drive home my boyfriend said i had been the dinner entertainment because everybody thought it was hilarious that this little blonde girl ate everything they even ordered a few really authentic dishes just to screw with me but i ended up impressing everyone because i didn't bat an eye he told me later that was the night he decided he was gonna marry me because i wholeheartedly jumped into his culture and tried everything i'm to a point where there are dishes i know i don't like but if something new isn't the table i always try it my biggest surprise is the huge amount of polish pride someone can have considering that they don't speak polish or have been to poland her biggest surprise is that we play hide the money anytime we go to a relative's house also the arguments that ensue when trying to pay the restaurant bill the extreme family closeness i'm black but my family isn't particularly close we live in different states we talk probably weekly i don't know the daily ins and outs of their lives my wife's family though my god take a wild guess at their ethnicity i'll give you a hint ninety percent of her grandparents aunts uncles and cousins live in the same five mile radius in el paso as a american living in south texas sometimes i'm glad that the closeness cooled down as i grew older cousins married or moved i actually got a life hispanics tend to shield their kids a lot and i just didn't enjoy the family drama anymore honestly i don't know why people love it how open his family is about money i never knew how much my parents make i have no idea how much money my sister makes but i know my sister-in-law makes 5k more a year than my husband because every time one of them gets a raise they call each other to gloat no bad blood just an ongoing sibling rivalry i think she's gonna win honestly i know what my father-in-law makes and every year he goes over our taxes with us so he knows down to the penny what my husband and i make it's honestly so refreshing to not have a taboo about money it's made me so much smarter financially my husband and i bought a house two months before we got married and ended being house poor we didn't have any spending money outside food bills and mortgage i felt no trepidation going to my mother-in-law and asking her to help us nail down a budget and savings plan for the next six months to help dig us out of the hole we were in somewhere this is cultural but some of it is just his family being very very open with each other i honestly don't get why people have this taboo over sharing how much they make it never made sense to me my fiance is white and english they swear a lot and i thought her sisters and her hated each other cause every fight sounds like they are extremely p fact is they just talk loud hispanic culture has zero version of political correctness they are extremely blunt hey you look like you got fat isn't uncommon the people have a better view of life in many ways than i grew up much more family focused already commented but i thought of a better answer i'm canadian and my partner is british i don't find our culture shockingly different but it took a little while to get used to the british sense of humor his family are genuinely proud of me when i make fun of them they're like aww your insults are getting so much better i remember how polite you used to be when we first met you i cannot make fun of my mom or even my sister like that and at work we all actively make fun of our boss to his face and he just laughs along in canada that never would have happened it's pretty great tbh back in high school i dated a lebanese girl we had to date in secret because her family was super strictly against her dating anyone especially a non-muslim and non-arab guy anyway eventually her cousin found out that we were having sex and that information got to her dad who ended up sending her and her sister back to live with their uncle in lebanon because america corrupted his daughter i never saw her again i had a jordanian girlfriend while at university in europe her family back home found out we were having sex and while she was back home for holidays her mum tried to send her to lebanon to get her hymen sewed back up i'm not even joking my ashkenazi husband indian was surprised at how similar our families were sure there were some differences but he chose to focus on the similarities he obviously was expecting more differences jews and indians have a lot of similarities source i'm jew dated two indian girls in my twenties half the time it felt like dating a jew context mormon town of white people and my gf was black at a school dance when we were 12 it was time to slow dance she put her arm around me and started grinding on me it was shockingly amazing every other couple was doing the boring step side to side thing but my gf had actual moves in about five seconds she created a sort of existential pivot for me that somehow tv and pop culture had not initiated we're from different cultures i'm canadian and she's british a good 20 of the time i have no freaking clue what she's saying like i hear the words but they make no sense when strung together and the way she does often have to break down exactly what it was she meant in simpler terms i'm from a small family married a latina woman who has three boys my family wasn't close at all but my wife's is completely different we're all very close always hugs and kisses and talking crap those boys are now men all have kids of their own and i've been with them for 20 plus years and my wife and family are still going strong how close family stays my husband's family gets together every christmas his grandfather was physicist who was able to get his wife and four children out before the borders truly closed in china his four children all had two three children then they started having children christmas is now 40 people and four dated generations guy who is half cherokee the self-hatred runs deep he was called half-breed a lot and not in a joking way there's a lot of anger and a lot of depression and a lot of drinking i'm not saying that's cherokee culture in its purest form wth do i know but it's the culture i encountered among the cherokee community in his southern town dated an african-american man really good guy we still talk often i was fully prepared to punch a racist in the mouth for him but i wasn't prepared for open hostility from african-american women i get it as much as a suburban white girl can but it made me sad for everyone dated a recent indian immigrant was pleasantly surprised by how everyone tried to make me indian whether sorry learn this dance just thrilled to share their art music and cuisine with me never made fun of me when i got something wrong he ended up being a cheating turd but i still miss the lovely people i met and their warmth and kindness well this is why i sort by new yemenite israeli family i don't speak the language first visit i hear everybody screaming and ask what are you all fighting about and my wife says oh we're just talking i'm from ireland and my wife is american the first time she visited my family in ireland my sisters also american boyfriend approached her and asked how do you handle these people that poor sucker had moved to ireland after knowing my sister for like a month due to having knocked her up it did not end up working out aside from my lovely niece i guess dating someone who is native i was not expecting him to be related to the large majority of this town he has a lot of family plus he's the oldest of six kids was waiting for a native comment i could never date anyone in my tribe who are from the same 60 mile radius i am from hispanic american who used to be married to a white american didn't even claim to be irish or german or anything his mom really didn't season food he asked me to teach her and i felt uncomfortable doing so also why are there so many types of casseroles they also were shocked my hair was naturally curly hard to believe we grew up two cities away from each other for all the weird differences my current in-laws are black american he couldn't say my mac and cheese was better than his mom's for 10 years he still won't say it in front of her i avoid going to church with my mother-in-law because it always lasts three hours and there is an entire 30 minutes of people catching the spirit and fainting i wanted to faint from hunger and dehydration they're also fascinated with my hair i'll report back if i ever marry an asian guy i am 100 pakistani and my husband is a mix of indigenous canadian and ukrainian i find it shocking and hilarious when the parents swear love for animals openness about talking about sex being able to be physically affectionate with one another with other family around alcohol being able to speak your opinions people actually listen to you when you speak how accepted i am into their family i come from an emotionally mentally and often physically abusive home my family is american i was very much a true life cinderella i was strangled by siblings and told it was my fault if i fought back i was punished with severe beatings i was never good enough even with the highest grades or best behavior but my siblings barely passed school and it was celebrated with huge fanfare i am now dating a hispanic man his family is so comforting and helpful and loving it's crazy the only time i got hugged in my family was when i was losing my cool over how unfair everything was and it was always i love you all equally no just i love you not it was i love you all equally his family is just hey i'm going hug love you and leave or i missed you or be careful or behave and a kiss blown i actually had to have a talk with my so because i'm not a big hugger i have trauma that is stirred up by hugs from people it's a trigger for me because a hug with both arms up top can very quickly be one strangling and it has before so i had to have him talk to his family because it was seriously messing with me and his family was totally cool about it they constantly offer what i assume would be mom and dad level help in a happy home they are always asking if i'll be there for holidays they sent me a present for christmas even though we'd only been together for a couple months it's insane just how accepting and loving a healthy family is and i'm not sure if it's the healthy family relationships or if it's a culture difference but i love it his family has little to no contact with one another unless it's a holiday they also put their elderly in care homes as well they put much of their money into immediate gratification rather than saving for the future for his family is afro-american i am first-gen american and my family is traditional filipino we believe in family first multiple generations live in the same home until they pass we hire in home care for our elderly and if when they need hospice care there is always money set aside to care for them i work with a lot of filipinos the younger ones i know around my age 25 are already married and still live with one of the parents they either love it or hate it there's no in between from the people i know i knew a woman whose kid still lived with her one was a lawyer and one was a doctor how similar our cultures are when we first started dating i thought there would be a much steeper learning curve since i'm a central asian jew and he's a rocky canadian my girlfriend is japanese and it never ceases to amaze me how dedicated japanese people are to keeping the harmony or whatever you want to call it obviously losing your temper is looked down upon harshly but they even avoid just talking about an issue when she's upset about something she won't bring it up she'd rather pretend everything is fine and actively avoids the topic even if we talk about something casual like a movie as soon as it's clear we disagree on something even something super small she immediately shuts down any possible discussion for me as a european that's super weird and quite often frustrating to deal with same here with my husband i never have seen him mad because any bad fight he'll just go to sleep american married to a haitian woman shocking amount of discrimination directed at her by black people who find out she's foreign she's sometimes mocked for an accent she apparently has but that i can't even detect she's treated like she's isn't a real black person we can't explain it but the pattern is clear also more inter-community racism amongst blacks than an extra community meaning black people being racist against other black people red bone high yellow and other terms are applied based on how light or dark the general skin tones of a person is being either too dark or too light can be seen as a mark of inferiority this had to do with house v field slaves having animosity towards each other or so my wife tells me and she's well studied in the subject i represented a foreign-born black lady who couldn't get her american black next door neighbor church to stop throwing trash in her yard parking all over her yard and being racist to her for being foreign black it was ugly and eye-opening for me if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

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Keywords: interracial couples, interracial, interracial proposal, different, cultures, cultural differences, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, \r, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh, reddit stories 2021

Id: Us5AZULM-F4

Length: 24min 40sec (1480 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 01 2021