I'm not in the inn | r/DnDGreentext [#118]

this includes dead bodies and sleeping compounds thank you sleep spell sorcerer refers to it as their child wizard i can see the resemblance sorcerer takes offense and throws the wizard off the ship hey welcome to another dnd green text video before jumping into this video if uh if you enjoyed this intros with language and if you think i did a pretty good job pronouncing that you probably have no idea but if you do or if you're chinese and you do please leave a like on the video for that it helps the channel and promotes the video a bit more and it really helps me out and uh yeah if you want to do that i would appreciate it a lot if you're not subscribed yet consider doing that as well and with that being said guys please enjoy the video worst dmd players ever part two um i think we've read the part one in the previous video um i didn't know this was a three-part thing but apparently it is so we're gonna go to part two and three this time also i don't think they're really related between them so it doesn't even matter mid to high level plan an adventuring 3.5 edition campaign standing on a giant cog on mechanus dm points out that it's exactly 60 feet wide suddenly a beholder floats down directly above all our overpowered bulldog magic items stop working the beholder santi magic icon is exactly 60 feet wide thus encompassing the entire cog kekaku is japanese for plan winged asimar sorcerer decides that his character has a fear of anti-magic spends his entire turn fleeing and leaps off the cog onto an adjacent one sorcerer is no longer within the anti-magic cone the beholder zaps the sorcerer with petrify ibm rolls the free everyone laughs sorcerer i'm a super charismatic angelic being so at least i'm going to make a badass statue right dm roll a charisma check to post heroically your statue is worth 100 gold pieces times your check rolls a natural 20 priceless masterwork statue party defeats the beholder easily because the other player's realized beholder can't actually shoot i-beams within its own anti-magic cone so the dm's plan actually sucked the sorcerer would have also been fine if he had stayed inside the anti-magic area the cleric sells the sorcerer's statue to an antique shop in siegel nobody stops him sorcerer has to roll up a new character the statue is still there to this day i wonder if the dm's plan was to actually allow them to resurrect him somehow anyway there's more to this green text we had the dm who was obsessed with the old text mode crpg nethack and let us use any of the weird tricks that work in that game at first it was simple stuff like potion misability and writing l breath in the dust toward off enemies but we started reading the wiki between sessions for even more ridiculous exploits in nethack you can wield the cockatrice corpse as a weapon and it will petrify anyone it touches the wielder is safe as long as they're wearing gloves the party druid worked out that with the epic rules if you can boost your handle animal skill into the 30s you can raise magical beasts including cockatrices so the druid ends up carrying a bag of holding full of cockatrice corpses into combat and chucking them at every enemy like ninja throwing stars the dm eventually decides that the druid can't do that because cockatrices are technically not ranged weapons and drawing things from a bag of holding is a standard action however we also just hit level 6. so the fighter takes the throw anything and quickdraw fits and the druid starts stuffing magnets down the cockatrice throats so the fighter can carry them stuck to his plate armor at one point a roper grabs the fighter with multiple tendrils and the druid successfully argues that it has to roll 6 saving throws against the petrification because of all the cockatrice corpses it just touched miraculously it passes all the saves pulls in the fighter and chomps on his head where opponent is immediately petrified by another cockatrice corpse he had kept impaled on his hornet helmet to protect against possible mind flare attacks we spent four hours chipping away at the petrified roper to free him jesus man are you sure this isn't the best player's tread it's really starting to look like a best player's thread alright and now part three i feel bad for the sorcerer what did he do to deserve this what did he do to deserve this major combat encounter round one i cast eternal jaunt an hour and a half later diem you take 49 damage sorcerer wait wait wait i forgot i had ethereal jaunt up i shouldn't have taken any damage this whole combat dm you can't just do that the monsters would have attacked other creatures instead sorcerer oh then we have to do a do-over dm you want to do over on 12 rounds of combat sorcerer yeah can we sorcerer's player eventually has to make a new character because reasons party needs a cleric so the player creates a cleric doesn't like tracking prepared spells so he just doesn't always conveniently has the right spell to hand everyone but the dm notices but nobody tells the dm because it works in their favor big treasure hall cleric assumes he can just deduct money whenever he wants to buy items without actually buying it in character including if he's in a dungeon he does this for several weeks before the dm notices and takes a look at his character sheet vorpal mace no you could not put vorpal on a maze even in 3rd edition goggles of haste the boot slot was taken already so many yawn stones that the clary claims he sounds like steering a drink full of ice cubes dm what spells do you have prepared cleric uh it's not in that [ __ ] don't worry about it where the hell did you get darren's instant fortress thinks for a moment off of dern dm eventually relents level 20 visiting the planner city of siegel spends half an hour real time trying to track down a very specific winged asmr statue eventually gives up because his current character is more powerful than his old one dm that night while you're resting in the inn cleric wait what does the in cost dm like one gold a night cleric uh i don't have any gold the smallest i have is 5000 gp diamonds i'm not breaking one can i just camp out in the woods diem you're in sigil there aren't any woods cleric i'll just set up my bedroom in an alleyway then dm your 20th level cleric wait i'm going to set up my darn simpson fortress dm fine anyway that night you're in is attacked by gityanki assassins role initiative cleric i want to cast diem you aren't there you're in your dernst instant fortress cleric well i immediately wake up and run towards the end diem you you can't do that you don't even have time to put your armor on cleric i'm sleeping in my armor cleric spends every combat turn running towards where he thinks the inn is after this the cleric pays someone to craft him a suit of armor that can be done instantly upon the command word are more on the party eventually convinces the cleric to move into the inn in case they are attacked again and need their cleric the cleric hires a load of random beggars to look after his daren's instant fortress for a while he pays 5000 gold pieces up front for a year fortress can shrink down to pocket size but he doesn't do it because the contents don't shrink and he spent a bunch of money on furniture the party set off investigating who in the city tried to assassinate them and they go on an adventure spanning multiple sessions eventually it's time to leave the city cleric wait my fortress shouts the command word to shrink the fortress dm wait your tower guards were still inside cleric so dm they don't shrink when you shrink the tower cleric that sounds like their problem diem declares that his deity immediately revokes his cleric powers for unrepentantly mass slaughtering his own guards cleric pleads and begs the dm until he relents has to spend the next week and most of his diamonds casting resurrection on the crushed remains of his tower guards what the f flying jesus christ um yeah okay this instantly instantly turned into a very good worst players trend absolutely insane um yeah i don't know what to say man just move on let's just not think it's tough honestly also the dm is kinda kinda at fault a bunch for uh really allowing every single stupid that that player wanted to pull allowing him to do it but whatever yeah just don't do that either as a player or as a dm you know anyway insane dm posts his own l player plays a female tifling infernal-packed warlock a few months into the campaign the character meets her mysterious patron her patron turns out to be demogorgon himself demogorgon demands that the tiefling be the vessel for his spawn there have been hints about the coming spawn of chaos that will bring about the end of an age the tiefling warlock refuses demogorgon tells her it wasn't a request and then takes her by force fade to black and a few roles happen to see how badly he roughs her up after he is done with her he tells her he will allow her to retain the speck of power that he gave her but if she hurts his spawn he will not just strip away her powers but her soul and the soul of anyone she holds dear the player storms out and later drops out of the game via text message make up your goddamn minds people either go full x-cart nanny or be prepared to face some dark happening to your character is this too much to ask now i'll have to rewrite the whole damn chaos spawn arc and then there's this chuckle um this is a psychopath dm man i don't know i mean i don't know i don't know dude jesus this this started so nicely with amazing players at the start in the first story and um and it really turned two bad players and now even badly what the [ __ ] man teleports behind you you're already dead bias on a ship sorcerer thought it would be a good idea to keep a troglodyte and try to raise him as a pet goddess confirms that they will be unable to raise it so their new mission is to find a herd to give it to egg hatches starts swallowing cobalt's hole i i think they're called cobbles anyway start swallowing cobalt's hole we had just finished the battle this includes dead bodies and sleeping combatants thank you sleep spell sorcerer refers to it as their child wizard i can see the resemblance sorcerer takes offense and throws the wizard off the ship wizard eventually returns on the boat about when the sorcerer refers to trogg is so cute wizard he seems like your type sorcerer wants to high kick the wizard back into the water sorcerer rolls a natural 20 wizard you activated my trap card you see the wizard has a homebrew item that when he is attacked allows him to teleport 10 feet as long as the item still has charges left if 10 feet is enough to get out of the way of the attack then the attack automatically misses he was made to balance the wizard's low health wizard teleports behind the sorcerer wizard takes out the canter of endless water wizard gazer insert obvious anime meme fighter is peacefully fishing while the chaos goes on behind them the sorcerer succeeded the strength save but was still wet which was enough for the wizard your your party your part members are extremely aggressive with one another all right anyway on that note guys we're gonna end this video here so thank you so much for watching i hope you enjoyed it please leave a like if you did and subscribe for more if you haven't already also thank you to our sporting channel on patreon i really appreciate it so thanks a lot for the support given there links below if you want to check that out or the social media check out the discord server subreddit if you want to post memes or stories and yeah that's it thanks again for watching and i'll see you next time have a great day bye

Channel: SkyDieRay

Views: 64,474

Rating: 4.9233718 out of 5

Keywords: skydieray, dnd stories, dnd greentext stories, dndgreentext, dnd greentext, skydieray dnd, dungeons and dragons, d&d, d&d stories, dnd stories 4chan, d&d stories 4chan, dnd stories reddit

Id: cs5EhVCFQq8

Length: 12min 46sec (766 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 07 2021