DM's wife fights with PC | r/DnDGreentext [#116]

the dm's wife sets a tavern on fire because lol so random rogue my character leaves because well the building is on fire she knocks me out and leaves me inside i burn to death sorry ainon that's just how we play hey what's up everybody it's cooper doodle rule here welcome to another dmd green text video before we jump into this video i'm very excited to tell you well to give a shout out actually to uh sonic lover diaz on uh on reddit i it took it took a hundred and something episodes okay maybe 200 if we take into account the memes videos uh but i finally found the story that actually mentions uh myself in the in the story well in the beginning of the story but still it makes a mention on me of me uh on the dnd green text subreddit and that was so amazing you're gonna hear the story as well uh later in this video i think it was really good but yeah so yeah shout out to sonic for that um i probably miss maybe there's probably more stories that more people that do this uh even on my own celebrated people that post stories i really appreciate but it's just uh i don't know this was it hit me different for some reason anyway with that being said guys i i really hope you enjoyed the video not even gods can find the tabaxi bimi furbolg druid in dnd fifth edition campaign also in the party human druid tabaxi fighter and the rest of the party doesn't matter we're in the middle of fast travel via wind walk having gone half the distance in a single day normally it would take over a month to get there we step out of the cave we took shelter in overnight the dm asks us to roll perception he says we can hear the sound of heavy bullets in the snow there's a goddamn army on the move that hasn't noticed us yet i cast pass without trace then i begin spending a minute casting wind walk which thankfully isn't concentration dm says to roll stealth the other druid gets a natural 20 for a total of 37 they're quite impressed with themselves only to be shown up by the tabaxi fighter who rolls a natural 20 as well he gets a 46 thanks to 22 dexterity and stealth expertise my face when not even the gods can locate him my face went he made bounded accuracy his that's a massive amount of stealth dude big bad evil guy gets meta toa spoilers corrupt backstory i just finished running tomb of annihilation for my players and it went off like gangbusters i played up azerarak as this terrifying threat only to have him come out with this nasally skeletor slash monarch voice they even survived the time stop blues dbf circle of death and were feeling pretty good about themselves until i started dropping his new legendary action corrupt backstory turning to the married couple of druids the lich pulled thought the strands of fate carefully snipping of you a failed wisdom saved later and the two looked instinctively at each other the way you check your phone for texts in a few weeks after a breakup then they remembered they didn't come on this adventure as a second honeymoon they came to try and rekindle their relationship after a bitter divorce decades earlier the party lost their minds you have the big medieval guy dump three figures of damage out they know what to do about that you have an immortal petty [ __ ] with too much time on his hands rewrite reality just to be a prick and just watch the experienced warriors go ape not bad aegon damage or even death often aren't told that threatening to high-level characters but like that would pit me hard because you don't even know what to do or how to deal with that right unexpected and also very nice some groups have high turnover for a reason one of my first dnd 3.5 characters playing a wizard wants to be a pyromancer ask the dm if it's okay he says sure no problem next session we go into unexplored ruins he makes literally everything either completely fireproof or so flammable that the smallest spark would kill us all does this for the next three sessions i asked him what's up with this he tells me he doesn't like pcs to focus on one thing i ask him why he approved my pyromancer then he said it was to teach me a lesson next session make another wizard the dm's wife sets a tavern on fire because lol so random rogue my character leaves because well the building is on fire she knocks me out and leaves me inside i burn to death sorry ainon that's just how we play the rest of the group laughs i want to roll up another wizard but now they inform me that the gm's wife doesn't like wizards or paladins okay i roll up a half elf dragon shaman the beginning of the session the dm's wife kills me with her breath weapon all my what the jpeg the dm's wife is an ancient time dragon disguised as a gnome rogue she gets jealous and doesn't want anyone to steal the dragon thing from her apparently this is normal i tell them that i'm not coming back they seem legitimately confused and they don't understand why okay to be honest two things okay two two two things let's be fair here first that's from top that is so [ __ ] up how that group plays dmd second maybe they're extreme extremely used to it at this point and they just don't don't you know realize it i mean if you're for 30 years and nobody tells you you're gonna just think that's normal i i i don't know i feel like maybe then again it may be too late and maybe this is not that kind of thing but um i feel like maybe trying to talk could possibly solve the issue or um you know clear things out maybe i know that's it's very unlikely at this point considering the events in the campaign but you have to give them the benefit of the doubt and um just give them a small chance to to explain themselves maybe you know just ask them if they're aware how bad that is i don't know dude anyway let's just move on to the next one sidekick shenanigans the party worst for its artificer me were forged assassin my wife lion in barbarian human fighter human sorcerer and the construct sidekick healer named bug that's run by me we are discussing our next move in a tavern when a draw assassin and four bandits attack us the sorcerer goes down in the first round when the drow starts to fight the bug rushes to help the downsourcer and all but our assassins surround the drow after a round of getting beat on the drow runs provoking attacks from everyone including the bug the bug is a tiny construct built as a clockwork butterfly with a nasty bite when bug takes her attack she manages to stick the drow who promptly falls and stumbles into a table the dm was surprised that the medic took out the draw in one hit who said that healers can't do damage introducing my gf to dnd be me and my gf keeping in touch via facetime because she's in the hospital i noticed that she's depressed lately and i ask if she'd want to play dnd over facetime so she can have some fun she's not familiar with the game so i send her a human fighter character sheet i prepare a simple adventure for her to learn the ropes while playing i see her smile feels good man she gets really into the game describing how she slashes through cobbles rolls a natural 20 on the final enemy how do you want to do this she describes how she reaches down the cobbles throat and pulls out its still beating heart my face when i think i'm in love that was so wholesome goddammit i'm happy for that guy i used the mending country for something different than fixing my clothes be me level 6 alchemist artificer only 5 sessions in since my last character died i've been using mending for role play and occasionally to heal my homunculus finish the fight against the magical imbued jade statue that almost kills us we are waiting for 10 minutes while our cleric casts prayer of healing me are there any chunks of the jade statue that we can sell dm most of them are pretty broken from the fight but you can find rolls dice 5 pieces of unpolished jade that you can probably sell could i use mending to repair more chunks of jade into a better state interesting idea you have this 10 minutes to search pieces that can fit together for repair it's not easy but you can roll a percentile die you have to pass a 75 to succeed i roll an 84 dm you managed to find and fix together 5 extra pieces of jade congratulations it may not have been much but this was only possible thanks to a niche cantrip good imagination a good dm and some luck best use for petrified villagers my first post in the subreddit so go easy on me holy this guy mentions my name oh my god i'm so excited about that i just i had to pause for a moment that's amazing okay i don't know sonic lover man i love you thank you i appreciate that so much thank you for watching the videos and enjoying my readings okay give me a second all right i took a moment to take that in i also left a comment on the post um i'll probably message him as well when i post the video just to to share my reaction with uh with this guy that posted the story anyway uh okay let's continue let's uh let's get back to the story now my first post in the subreddit so go easy on me i love skydive race reading though this story is oc a small village has a dragon problem a dragon and its cockatrice bed have been turning villagers to stone and flying off of them the mayor hires you and your party to investigate the next time the dragon strikes you tail it follow it to a huge ruin at the heart of the rain there is a big stone courtyard there's some sort of map drawn on it the petrified villagers are arranged systematically in various places in the courtyard four dragons including the one that attacked the village are seated around the courtyard the one that hit the village is sitting behind the low wall that covers half his body you spot the cockatrice snapping behind the wall each of the other dragons is holding several polyhedral jewels and each jewel is as big as your head the dragon behind the wall speaks okay lance quarter it's your turn what do you want to do one of the other dragons leans in and studies the board for a moment i run up to the guard and chop his head off reaching out he picks up the petrified blacksmith and gently moves him to another spot in the courtyard okay roll to attack land scorcher takes two of his oversized jewels and tosses them onto the courtyard the jewels make loud clanks as they bounce across the stone before coming to rest now that they're out in the open you see that each side of each jewel has a number on it landscaper studies the jewels once they land not touching them that's a 16. does that hit the dragon behind the wall glances down at something you can't see barely you don't manage to cut his head off but you do want his neck and make him bleed well better than nothing i suppose lance court your nods and takes his jewels back all the dragons seem too invested in their game to notice you what do you do alright that is amazing amazing story from an amazing guy alright so to respond to this i don't think there is much you can do i i don't know what level you are but if there's four dragons i feel like there's a chance that that might be too much to take on you don't want to be petrified and become part of their dnd game do you or maybe maybe it's not called dmd for them it's called humans and dungeons or dungeons and humans something i don't know anyway cool story i loved it is there a problem officer find a straight up gun on a goblin corpse after kicking his teeth in guns are a really new thing none of the party knows what this is i take it anyway we continue on our journey run into border patrol a few days later is there a problem officer that wave routine search that webm sir is that a gun no clue it wasn't a goblin corpse and that's the god's honest truth do you have a license for this gun what that image my face when i get arrested for not having a concealed carry license in a stupid play pretend magic fantasy game oh god okay that's not the thing i was expecting here the good part is that it's play pretend so you can play pretend escape your way out of prison it's not that bad it's also probably going to be fun and maybe you want to discuss that with your dm in the future anyway with that being said guys we're going to end this video here so thanks so much for watching i hope you enjoyed it please like you did and subscribe for more if you haven't already also thank you to our transporting channel on patreon i really appreciate it so thanks a lot to everyone supporting channel there links below if you want to check that out as well as follow me on any social media and if you want to join the discord server or check out the subreddit links below for that as well and yeah that's it thank you for watching and i'll see you next time have a great day bye

Channel: SkyDieRay

Views: 56,375

Keywords: skydieray, dnd stories, dnd greentext stories, dndgreentext, dnd greentext, skydieray dnd, dungeons and dragons, d&d, d&d stories, dnd stories 4chan, d&d stories 4chan, dnd stories reddit

Id: zM-rTR3Ycak

Length: 13min 8sec (788 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 21 2021