EMERGENCY CRAB | r/DnDGreentext [#106]

[Music] rice and welcome to another dnd green text video i hope you enjoyed that little intro um also don't forget before jumping into this video to subscribe to the channel if you haven't already and two smash like if you end up enjoying the video and the content and yeah with that being said i hope you enjoyed the video well we're off to a good start with a good title to the story okay sexual harassment in the workplace hold you must subject yourself to questioning under the circle of truth failure to comply will result in disintegration followed by soul cage okay first truth i want to drop is that i'm [ __ ] impressed there's a high enough level caster here who was somehow convinced to do civic work projects my parties warlock can barely be convinced to do anything but hit on woman and sexually harass her own patron sexually harass her own patron i now have additional questions he's also angry the elephant is also angry okay great old one patron once a major deity whose church and nations they patronized got wiped out by the main villain and his mentor she keeps asking to get tentacled it's assumed both in universe and out that if the warlock wasn't basically said great old one's last follower they'd have abandoned her damn it that's that's so sad for that patron actually dude god damn it give him a few more followers how does a patron stay a patron with just one follower isn't that a marriage and not a patronage stopped saying master and started saying hey baby i don't know exactly but my gm steadfastly insists that the warlock patrons cannot have followers in the triple digits or else it's just a normal religion which kind of killed the player's original plan for their warlock to try to recruit people to believe in her patron again because then she'd be forced to convert her character into a cleric so warlocks are basically hipster clerics i found my patron before he was cool can't you stay can you stay a warlock if you want to that's kind of weird if the dm forces you to become a cleric if you want to you know be able to help your patron kidnapping kidnaps your whom god damn it human kidnaps your human male fighter male fighter wakes up to big td or barbarian thinks he's finally going to get some snooze no ends up being eaten by big td orc barbarian and her chadwork husband fighter dies knowing this is the only way his beta ass will be inside the woman the level of sad in the story is basically equal to the thickness of this big titty orc i can't believe he's saying that but dude jesus christ in that picture what the hell and obviously the armor protects her body perfectly you know like you don't need more armor than that classic aenon kills a baby was i the [ __ ] me and the party doing the new frost maiden module defeat the yeti see her baby who one of the players finds adorable he wants to take it with us i'm adamant that we should as they are evil halfway through his point of why it deserves a chance i just run up and snap its neck before throwing it off a cliff i decided it wasn't worth arguing and i wasn't taking the risk well let me answer quickly that you were an [ __ ] there okay and then we read the rest you killed the baby of course you're the [ __ ] and before you go on about the it's evil you know damn well that your gm would have hand waved that [ __ ] away because one of your fellow players was actively invested in an aspect of their game and you just killed it god damn it dude what the hell player stereotypes the types of people who choose something you know back in the day i would have went to the website and checked the whole title like find an archive and go to the post number and check the whole title and read it and replace it or something yeah sky direct is not what it used to be man fighter bloat lord guy who played high school football or independent young woman rogue twink or [ __ ] okay i assume it's the types of people who choose a specific class ah yup it's exactly that it's the types of people who choose the nd classes wizard coder or pretentious stem major bard boy or ugly dude who wants to monsters cleric i would believe in god if she gave me powers monk dragon ball monks are dragon ball fans i guess barbarian quiet guy who would normally shoot up a school if he didn't have an outlet for violence that's dark that is really dark okay paladin atheist who is playing it ironically warlock catholic kid whose parents think is a bible study sorcerer absolute sadist who is planning to burn down the dm's house if he goes down one more time druid the dm's girlfriend um yeah i can confirm that's not true i mean as far as i'm aware i i played the druid last time and that was not the case with the dm okay so uh i guess they're not all accurate i hope ranger pokemon or lord of the rings right um anyway this was pretty accurate i think overall i mean the wizard part was accurate for me and i mean obviously it can't apply for someone for all the classes that they played if you played multiple classes right but it's still impressive actually so i don't know let me know in the comments if you actually got um you know if you got called out in this one how to break your dm's epic boss battle in three easy steps bimi sixth level warforced grave cleric alabimax from big hero 6. that's odd that's odd because we had a story exactly like the i mean inspired from baymax from big hero 6 last week anyway been at me satyr sorcerer junashi swashbuckler and goblin hexblade warlock be exploring a ruined city made of obsidian looking for a spooky helmet city is clearly made for creatures larger than us archaeologists that jpeg accidentally trigger a trap that hurts obsidian shurikens the size of dinner blades at us warlock packed weapon is the one that hit him in the face find the helmet next to an enormous stone throne in the center of the city janassi grabs it and flies up to sit on the throne she contemplates putting the quite clearly magical helmet on eventually decides to look around sees a huge amphitheater around the throne also she's a stone giant who is pissed that she's sitting in its chair role initiative party trades a few hits with the giant warlock throws the obsidian shuriken and eldritch smites it for decent damage then resumes it to its hand sorcerer shocking grasps it it bites the sorcerer to 8 health in a single 3d6 hit evil bi-max mode activated use the grave cleric curse ability on the big bad giant makes it vulnerable to the next attack warlock yields the shuriken at it again crits he mites again rolls near max damage for both 38 damage 2d8 plus 5 and 48 plus 4 for fury of the small quadrupled for crit and vulnerability 180 damage this was supposed to be a difficult encounter dm face palms edit damage dies get doubled regular damage doesn't so actual total is 156 but that's still more than the giant's max hp so whatever shrug okay well this is this is just something that's i don't know i mean i don't want to say is the dm's problem because it's not you know just him to blame i guess i don't know but it's definitely something that he needs to be aware of like he needs to be aware of how strong and competent the party is and um just be able to throw adequately challenging puzzles you know oh man i realized that he would be very disappointed after after that encounter especially if he you know wanted that encounter to be a difficult one oh jesus it's not a war crime if there's no geneva geneva suggestions hello tg bimi forever dm decide to run a war campaign give players armies to command campaign is set in a forested mountain region players are winning perfect victories at best pirik wanted too great a cost to have been worthwhile for the victor artificer gets some catapults and trebuchets fighters pillaged some villages for oil began flinging burning barrels of oil into the woods enemies burnt to ashes death and destruction that face when life is good when you want to pillage and there's no geneva suggestions to stop you oh god damn it dude diem who may or may not be me comes up with a new mechanic on the spot deploy emergency crab or times you came up with neat stuff under pressure time for crab in this thread stupid you came up with on the spot to cover up stupid mistakes that actually turned out pretty cool bimmy the aiming game for friends doing a faux adventurer's guild style thing because i'm bad with commitment and i'm better at writing one shots than full campaigns set up virtual tabletop with everything but enemy placement figure i'll just slap him down as i go set down the placeholder image of a crab in a room i want to put a surprise mini boss in players run about the dungeon like only players do one is kicking all the ass two are doing okay and one is failing miserably strong player kicks down the door to the crab room while i'm busy filling the room that i thought he was going into with cobbles anon what am i looking at brain does backflip he's already confirmed the existence of the crab and removing it would break the immersion ah this is the crab room just made it worse spaghetti about to fall out normally piece of brain suddenly begins spinning at mach 2. player that just burst in is doing really damn well arguably too well my obsession with game balance has logged in yes this is the crab room the crab cut of balance and triumph will bestow a curse upon the player who is currently performing the best for the remainder of the dungeon if they accept of course if you leave the dungeon cursed but intact you will receive an extra reward in the form of gold or an uncommon magic item the player accepts the challenge and is cursed with no bonus actions for the remainder of the dungeon other players get a bit more time in the spotlight everything went pretty well i am actually bringing back the crab as mainstay in future dungeons after some system reworks of course this is it guys this is an example of an amazing dm i don't know if the guy watching this i have the guy that wrote this by any chance watches these videos but if you are dude that was awesome to read and i'm also very glad for the players that they get a dm like this alright that's it for this video thank you guys for watching i hope you enjoyed it please leave a like if you did and subscribe for more if you haven't already also thank you to everyone sporting channel on patreon i really appreciate it so thanks a lot for the support given there links below if you want to follow me on social media i post some really cool stuff on twitter and some pictures on instagram and stories there sometimes if you want to follow me also links below to the discord subreddit and everything else and yeah that's it thanks again for watching and i'll see you next time have a great day bye

Channel: SkyDieRay

Views: 43,906

Rating: 4.9647999 out of 5

Keywords: dnd crab, d&d crab, skydieray, dnd stories, dnd greentext stories, dndgreentext, dnd greentext, skydieray dnd, dungeons and dragons, d&d, d&d stories, dnd stories 4chan, d&d stories 4chan, dnd stories reddit

Id: 6t_aZ-GdDHI

Length: 12min 30sec (750 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 13 2020