IELTS Live - Task 1 Writing - Band 9 Diagram

hi students and welcome to today's live ielts class my name is adrian and i'm streaming to you from beautiful central europe where we've had a little bit of snow this morning and experiencing a little bit of winter definitely not like in the past uh well come eldor boutiere ozoda drove good to see many of our regular students hi honey nice to see our members in the class as well welcome everyone to this class we are focusing on ielts task 1 writing specifically a diagram band 9. this diagram was requested by one of our students so we will go through this diagram and i will write a band 9 essay together with you this lesson is presented by aehelp.com for academic ielts success check us out there for the general aisle to visit us at g ieltshelp.com on both of our websites we have lots of materials for you to improve your communication your english get those high band scores we have help for the writing we have professional editors that can help you improve your writing scores you can also practice your speaking with other students and we have practice exams hd videos with strategies we are world leaders when it comes to ielts exam preparation this is our academic ielts website here you can click that big red button to join the premium package we are an official british council outs test registration center for saudi arabia and we have british council certified agents as well so if you have questions let us know this is our general ielts website here with the green background you can click that big red button to join us there and again if you have questions just send me an email to adrian aehelp.com and i will gladly answer your inquiries hi again janil hi nick hill hi rashika nice to see you in the class all right earl thank you you're melting my heart and uh if you haven't uh installed our apps on your mobile definitely do that there's lots of free materials there too academic ielts help app links to a help dot com general i'll help app links to glshelp.com so make sure to use those resources okay everyone so task one right now tomorrow we'll have a bit of writing for members in reading and then speaking later in the week here is the question for today i'm a little bit curious how this green is going to look in this live lesson so we'll see that in a moment okay everyone so this is our task one and this is uh coming from i believe a cambridge ielts practice materials so thank you to cambridge for that this is ielts task 1 writing you should spend about 20 minutes on this task only spend 20 minutes okay the following diagram shows the steps required for the production and delivery of hydroelectric power describe the main features and make comparisons were relevant right at least 150 words so minimum 150 words i've actually seen this diagram on the ielts exams a couple of times over the years and so it's definitely one of those favorite types of ielts diagrams and here is this diagram hopefully everybody can see this fairly clearly if you don't see the words super clear that's okay don't worry about that right now we'll discuss those anyway but here is our diagram it says ielts writing task one you have some sunshine here you have the ocean you have evaporation here you have rain here i'll zoom in later on and then here you have uh some structures uh high voltage cables a transformer station and then here you have a house you have some industry or a factory and you have some hospitals and schools all right so a number of components here to this diagram uh firstly you obviously realize right away that this is a process diagram it's a process it's a physical process okay process diagram it's one type of diagram and a process essay is one type of expository essay okay task one academic this is task one academic if you're doing general this is not your cup of tea okay this is for academic students but if you're general it's still great practice to be here for your english so this is an expository essay and it's a process type expository essay okay the process starts here and then goes this way comes around and finishes here okay everybody sees that everybody's good everybody can see that this is the direction of this process top left over to the right and then back down here obviously we have a few components in here everybody good everybody with me so far i want to make sure i'm not losing anyone or uh and that it's clear you can see this yeah janelle says yes it's clear okay yeah all right so when you have a process essay that's when you should be thinking about using the words like first second third fourth and so on uh too many students uh use the words first second third or firstly secondly incorrectly in other types of essays like in their task two essay you shouldn't really use them in your task 2 essay this is where you want to use them ok so just a couple of quick notes as we get going with this essay here we're going to do it together okay so first of all you want to recognize that task 1 academic is an expository essay okay um what's the goal of an expository essay okay it's one of the main essay types we've talked about this in the past there are four main types of essays what's the goal of an expository essay can anybody tell me okay hopefully you come up with what i'm writing right now okay and here the sub category is a process essay which is an essay that describes clear ordinal stages in a system okay everybody hopefully is with me so far yeah hadis says to explain right hadis yeah explain explore expose okay shazi but it's not really it's kind of an evaluation of a diagram okay right so this is what it is that's what task one uh academic is it's an expository essay of course the reason why ielts is asking you for this is because in university you write a lot of expository essays okay hopefully everybody's clear on that if you haven't heard the words expository essay and you're going to sit the academic ielts exam take an hour or two go on google and research expository essay writing okay so it's an essay that seeks to explore explain expose information to the reader and the subcategory of this essay is a process essay okay it's an essay which describes uh the clear ordinal stages in a system ordinal means the order first second third fourth okay if these are new concepts for you on our academic ielts website and you're writing materials you have this clearly explained in our interactive course as well so definitely use that if you don't already okay all right so next of course uh is that this type of essay it's very important so this type of essay is almost always written and you know what i'm not going to confuse you i'm just going to say always for ielts this type of essay for ielts is always written in third person objective voice which means that you cannot use the pronouns i my you we us okay all right um especially the we and the us i see a lot of students write things like as we can see in the diagram uh no okay uh don't say that um just write differently right objectively okay everybody good on that all right so don't use i me you we us those are used for different types of essay writing not really for third person expository style writing okay all right everybody clear on that's very important if you do use those words you will weaken your essay and you will lose marks all right no question the arts examiners are trained in essay styles and author voices they recognize these very quickly they know that expert writers are very um informed and know how to control voice and essay style okay at a band seven five eight band nine the candidates can control essay style and author voice keep that in mind okay very important so note four bands 7.5 to 9 the ielts candidate can clearly control the essay style and voice of the author all right everybody everybody's good yeah all right good i'm seeing a lot of yeses so fantastic all right okay good so um again let's get back to writing here so what do we do right that's the question well what do you do okay all right well step one is let's write the overview okay overview is uh a paraphrase okay it's your first paragraph okay and this is a paraphrase of the question with more details and the main feature okay these do not have to be separate okay some people write a separate introduction and overview which is in my opinion just kind of strange the overview and introduction are synonymous they can definitely be in one paragraph so um here we go paraphrase this with some details that's right surya paying attention in classes i can see that so go ahead uh the following diagram shows the steps required for the production and delivery of hydroelectric power describe the main features and make comparisons were relevant okay so first step i look at this okay and i just told you that it's a process diagram so you can immediately use a nice adjective this process diagram okay and then we'll see how fancy you can get so of course ielts is a test of knowledge and english and critical thinking all rolled into one okay that's why there's two versions it's an english proficiency test not an esl test so you have to show your proficiency okay so here's the diagram um one two three four five six seven maybe seven stages roughly i would say it's kind of arbitrary you might write six you might write seven you might write eight depends on how you structure your essay i would say six to eight stages here for the production of hydroelectric power okay so let's write that paraphrase with some details i'm gonna do that right now and then we'll compare okay so you i'm not going to go back and count that right now i'm just going to keep it simple remember 150 words so you got to get going on this all right okay nick hill nick hill says these this pictograph illustrates the information of different stages for the creation and transportation of hydroelectric power okay nick hill not bad okay um kritika says the rendered process diagram depicts the information regarding the stages of the production of hydroelectric power critica that's good okay nice attention to some adjectives for dav says the blueprint gives information about the process of creating uh electricity with water power and the transmission of this through to three different fields involving seven stages okay for doves good good attempt i made a few corrections pay attention to that gineal says the given pictograph uh shows uh the steps to produce electric power by using water and distributing the electricity to the city okay danielle good uh daniel don't use the word pictograph with depicts because pikto and depict it's kind of awkward to phrase together okay surya says the given diagram illustrates the stages required to produce hydroelectric energy and transferring it to consumers okay good very nice all right uh rashika says the pictogram illustrates the process for producing hydroelectric power look at all the different ways that students are paraphrasing this that's fantastic okay so as the idiom goes there's more than one way to skin the cat so lots of different ways to say this all right well done un says the given blueprint illustrates uh eight steps in the process of producing and transferring hydroelectric power to consumers very good this is mine here this process diagram explains the seven stages and multiple components needed to create hydroelectric energy and deliver it to the public okay so another way uh to paraphrase this absolutely there we go all right so some paraphrasing a little bit of extra information and now we're into a high band essay all right um so let's get the main feature okay so now the main feature you don't need to write this this is just for you to learn so the main feature is what you can see at first i shot so what is the main feature in this um this blueprint or in this pictograph as some of you uh paraphrase nicely you don't need to read the words for this you just need to look at the pictures what do you notice right away for this system to work there's a very clear kind of main feature i would say here okay so what do you notice right away i noticed something very quickly here definitely my eyes kind of pick this apart immediately ferdov says it needs water yeah for dobs i think that's obvious we want to be a little bit more granular than that so what's the main feature aside from the water it's like you're teaching a grade 10 science class and you're doing a presentation but instead of just presenting like this you're writing it down right okay os very good always paid attention to this so it says there's a natural resource that's necessary for this like the rain okay syria says it's a complicated process yeah uh students please use english in the chat don't disrupt the other students who are trying to learn okay right uh let's see uh fordov says it's using newton's law okay i'm still looking for a clear full sentence here students a clear full sentence okay give me a nice clear full sentence here so ann says at first glance it is clear that nature such as the sun and water are used in the process and what else okay what else do you see so nature is part of it i agree okay uh jack hunger says overall there are seven steps required beginning with the c being heated um yeah that's part of it too okay turbine um look at this student so we have sun we have rain we have clouds we have this reservoir or this piece of water that's being filled here so i think the main feature happens here okay nature and man does everybody see that does everybody see that there's a natural process here and then there's a man-made process here so in fact you're looking at kind of two unique processes does everybody see that does everybody see those two unique processes of nature and men being combined in the production and delivery of electricity okay okay everybody sees nature man is that clear and says yes okay so um now anybody know what this is called okay what is this called when the sun heats up the sea the sea evaporates forms rain clouds and then those rain clouds move over land and fall in the form of rain and create water on land anybody know what the technical name of that is let's see who gets that super thumbs up i've taught this um i've taught this word a long time ago i'm not sure if any of the student it's the water cycle okay zubair you're very close it is called the water cycle but there's an even more technical term for that okay anybody know what the most technical term for water cycle is let me teach it to you okay i'll put it right up here it's also known as the i'm still looking to see if anybody got it it's called the hydrolytic cycle okay so water cycle if you're going really technical it's called the hydrolytic cycle okay hydrolytic cycle almost chavnal almost hydrolytic okay so good uh now that we have that so now that we know that it takes this natural process more specifically the hydrolytic cycle and a man-made infrastructure you can create the main feature to a band 9 level so go ahead and write evaporation condensation those are all parts of the hydrolytic cycle so you have evaporation you have condensation and then um you have percolation in the ground you have some other steps there those are parts of the hydrolytic cycle okay write the full uh sentence for the main feature i'm going to do the same and then we will uh compare here okay so okay so amreek says most electricity is generated with steam turbines using fossil fuels nuclear biomass geothermal i'm rick you're way off topic you're going to lose a lot of band scores if you write in that way even if it's perfect english okay so careful with that for dave says it is obvious that the hydrological cycle and man-made infrastructure creates uh electricity yeah creates hydroelectric power that's right for dobs very good okay shock zyme says these pictograms are clearly showing the process of water generation till its conversion into electricity and then supplied in home towns shock zaid that's really confusing that would be about a band 4.5 um nick hill says overall it is evident that electricity is generated using the hydrolytic cycle and further processed through man-made infrastructure nikhil that's quite good okay that's up at 758 for sure okay honey says the diagram very beautifully illustrates honey no personal opinion no very beautifully expository essays don't have personal feelings in there so we don't say beautifully illustrates okay so honey just the diagram illustrates the integration of natural cycles and man-made machines to generate electricity it's not bad honey but it's a bit general it's about a band six okay says meticulously examining the process the hydrolytic cycle plays a big role in the generation of power as it involves various small processes like evaporation and condensation kritika that's part of your analysis your body paragraph not your main feature careful okay so we're going to get into that next all right okay so this is my overview i'm just going to grab this and place it a little bit lower down so everybody can see it following the graph and then we can get into uh the actual uh body paragraph for the analysis of this okay so here it is so again take a look at the diagram there's the diagram okay let me erase this and then we'll look at the overview so the overview is here the process diagram explains the seven stages and multiple components needed to create hydroelectric energy and deliver it to the public at first glance it is clear that hydroelectric power depends on the natural hydrolytic cycle as well as extensive man-made infrastructure and technology so that's my overview okay that's your band nine everybody clear so far and everybody understands how i got to writing that so what i did to analyze that okay i didn't look at the words i just looked at the main features i saw that hey this is nature and hey this is kind of human right we can see that division at the dam here okay all right so now let's get into uh some more detailed writing uh here we go this is the analysis okay this is the analysis the analysis is uh the body okay all right and before you begin definitely definitely indicate your points here okay this is there's quite a bit of information here so i want to first focus on this piece here okay i want to focus on this natural process it should follow the same logic as my main feature okay so here i want to first target this uh sun the rays of the sun uh create or evaporate seawater and seawater condenses into clouds these clouds then move over land okay so this is my step one and then falling in the form of rain is my step two okay collected into a reservoir which is blocked by a dam that's my step three okay so here is where you want to use words like first okay so here we go uh begin with number one write the sentence for number one i'm going to do the same and then we'll move step by step and compare and i will give you some feedback okay all right everyone so firstly our beautiful sun and its magnificent rays warming the sea and creating evaporation so put that together for me okay and you do not need to separate the hydrolytic cycle and the um and the uh the infrastructure into two paragraphs okay so you can just keep it into in one paragraph okay uh so here is where you can use this okay to begin with a lot of students love writing this to begin with uh and don't use it correctly they use it in task two you shouldn't use that in persuasive essays okay in persuasive essays it's weak it's a weak leading expression in an expository process let's say it's a well-placed leading expression so to begin with okay to begin with the sun's rays evaporate seawater which then enters the atmosphere and condenses into clouds okay all right and says the production starts with the stages of the water cycle as where the sun shine and water vapor condenses to make clouds okay the sunshine does not condense uncareful uh the sunshine evaporates water so use the word evaporates water which then condenses to make clouds so careful on it's a bit confusing there okay that would drop your mark all right clouds actually become heavier over land so that's why i didn't get into that yet um for dobb says analyzing deeper let me just move back to the diagram some of you are still thinking on it for dob says analyzing deeper the process begins with heating the surface of the sea by this sun's rays and then the aqua evaporates to create clouds yeah aqua instead of water okay we would say water molecules here too for dobs okay all right hennith honey says at first glance the sun will create evaporation which is a natural process then the evaporated water will condense um hannah first tip don't use will okay expository essays uh stay present tense unless you have a time indication that's very important everyone keep that in mind okay so use present tense unless there is a time indicated in the process essay which is usually not the case especially not in a process essay so this is an important tip okay here we go so tip use the present general tens of verbs in a process essay unless there is a specific time indicated which warrants the use of past or future past tense or future participles okay so don't use the future participle um will okay everybody good yeah don't use the few it drops your score again these are the small details and if you make many of these mistakes of course your score goes down okay so you have to learn college level writing at least college level writing first year college level writing um to be really successful in the alts and in your studies when you're going to do your university okay that's what they're looking for okay so uh here's my first step just very simply uh to begin with the sun rays evaporates seawater which then enters the atmosphere and condenses into clouds i'm simply just reporting what i'm seeing so this is my number one okay and then i stop there so then the clouds move over land okay and water falls in the form of rain okay so in the next step the clouds move over land become heavy and the water falls in the form of precipitation or you can say rain precipitation again more advanced vocabulary you're picking up more points right so precipitation keep writing these steps with me students okay nick hill says after the creation of clouds the clouds move over land which contain heavy molecules it is stored in the reservoir after molecules drop in the form of rain uh nick you'll pay attention to your grammar it's a little bit off okay sir and thanks for the thumbs up okay so um in the next step the clouds move over land become heavy and the water falls in the form of precipitation at this point man made infrared becomes important the falling rain i can use a semi-colon colon in this case the falling rain is collected in reservoirs which are created by building dams against mountains okay so here i'm describing above this part here okay so now i'm into step number three the rain falling in the form of precipitation collecting in a reservoir the reservoir is created by building a dam up against a mountain okay here's my mountain okay so again just going step by step really pay attention to those connecting words uh that i'm using okay oh it says after the shower the water collects behind the dam to use the water stream to energy movement os you have really good ideas but you have to write them down using clear english okay le pei yun says having moved along over the land and with the clouds the water falls in the form of precipitation le pay the second half after the comma is okay the first half is a bit confusing i know these process essays uh can be really tricky uh here's a really good tip for you to proc uh to practice process essays um now process essays uh some of you might think oh why why do i have to do this for the ielts well just imagine in college and in university how often uh you have to describe a process okay whether in computer science biology or chemistry you often have to describe a process using english okay so process essays are really important here's a little tip for you okay and you're gonna enjoy this it's fun it's not just uh it's it's not painful i promise you okay so there's a very popular uh tv series um that used to be uh on discovery channel i believe and it's called uh how's it made okay it's called the how's it made okay so to learn a lot of great english especially for describing a process which is i just mentioned is very important for work and for school um watch some episodes called and i think you can watch them on youtube watch some episodes on uh youtube called how's it made okay um so there's a lot of different episodes uh for example uh like uh how's it made pencils okay or how's it made trumpets um how's it made coffee uh how's it made chocolates chocolate bars okay uh so check that out when you have a minute check it out and the people who just talk about the process and describe this process of making these different types of goods they use some really good english so listen to them and copy them listen and repeat okay all right so and it's kind of fun it's fun to discover uh those okay all right so how's it made all right check that out okay uh so let's keep going with this so we're kind of past the natural process now of the hydrolytic cycle and now we're moving into uh the electrical generation component this is kind of the delivery component right so generating electricity and delivering electricity okay all right um so here we go the dam let's zoom in here so this is our next process here uh we have the dam there's a valve the valve is either open or closed uh when the valve is open the water moves down uses gravity i think this is where somebody says it uses newton's law of gravity uh to create energy right and then that energy turns the turbine okay so here's the turbine okay so this would be my fourth step here okay so in the next stage water is released from the reservoir through a valve hint hint that's what you should be writing okay and i see that you're writing that okay saira the word limit for task 1 is 150 to 220 words that's about how much you can fit in band 9 essays for task 1 are usually 180 to 200 words okay so [Music] 150 is the absolute minimum that you have to write okay it's the absolute minimum so here we go okay afterwards the water is released from the reservoir through a valve at the bottom of the dam which flows down to a turbine using the force of gravity to generate power okay all right so that was my next step here the turbine okay and then obviously the water here continues and is pumped back in to the reservoir by a pump house okay it's called a pump house so the water returns to the reservoir through a pump house right okay so we can mention that as well okay the water then returns back to the reservoir through the assistance of a pump house okay syria says later the stored water is released from the reservoir through a valve and it flows down into a turbine yet through a turbine is occasionally as well oh it says the water can flow after the valve is open where it goes through a tight turbine and then returns to the reservoir um with the help of a pump house yeah okay hannah three turns or sends both are okay in this case okay all right yeah sometimes knowing which verb is correct in the context is a bit tricky but that comes through practice okay all right so we've got a few more steps left here this is going to be my fifth stage the turbine transfers the electricity to high voltage cables those high voltage cables then send power to the uh transformer station okay so let's get that stage that's gonna be my uh fifth or sixth stage okay so write some sentences for that and i'll keep looking back to see what you're writing okay sandeep says the accumulated water in the reservoir is released through a valve which rotates the turbine that is connected to a powerhouse while the water is returned back to the reservoir by a pump house that's some nice writing sandeep yadav okay instead of the second witch i would use a that in that case okay but otherwise very good okay very good very good all right so i'm going to keep plugging away here so we can see this essay unfold okay so the electricity okay in the next phase phase stage step those are the words you can use to paraphrase in the next phase stage steps so that you're not repeating so in the next phase the electricity is sent from the turbine to high what do they call them high voltage cables i think we need a hyphen here high voltage uh cables which deliver this energy to a transformer station okay and then comes this step here the transformer station the underground cables delivering the power to homes to industry and to infrastructure hospitals and schools okay so this is the final step okay in the final step the transformer station disperses the electrical power the hydro let's return to that nice word electric power to homes industry and infrastructure such as hospitals and schools okay i'm doing a good job i might have a band 9 at this point if i hand in uh my essay but i want to make sure i want to make sure that i have a band 9 so in order to do that i'm going to create a nice little summary here which we'll start with in summary okay and this is my what i call my band 9 guarantee because a band 9 expository essay and you'll learn this in college and university as well we'll have a summary this isn't a conclusion this is just a summary it's an important fact that we can learn from all of this um which is clearly somewhere in the diagram that is given here okay so so uh here we go um what can we learn from this what can you summarize about this what what do we learn after looking at this graph how can i summarize this for my audience so that they go aha yeah that's a good piece of information and for the examiner they can say that's a great finish and i can definitely give you a band 9 okay let's see what you come up with i'm going to start typing and then you start typing and we'll see if your summary of my summary kind of are similar in summary you okay so let's see what you've come up with uh lamia we have the overview at the beginning um and we're going to uh read that as well this is the summary the summary is not just the overview it's not just a repeat okay quan la it really depends on your writing style uh roughly 10 to 12 sentences for task one if you want a specific numbers aj says all stages are essential if we miss one electricity is not possible i think that's a bit simplistic kj for a summary okay um disperses or distributes both are okay yeah don't get hung up on vocabulary too much the ideas are more important okay here we go everyone so let's just review this together uh and then you'll see how a band 9 which is called an expert user of the english language type essay is composed so here's the original question okay the following diagram shows the steps required for the production and delivery of hydroelectric power describe the main features and make comparisons where relevant here we have our diagram we said that okay there's this natural process here it meets human innovation and the man-made component here and then we wrote an essay starting with the overview here's the overview and read with me okay so this process diagram explains the seven stages and multiple components needed to create hydroelectric energy and deliver it to the public at first glance it is clear that hydroelectric power depends on natural hydrolytic cycle as well as extensive man-made infrastructure and technology to begin with the sun's rays evaporate seawater which then enters the atmosphere and condenses into clouds in the next step the clouds move over land become heavy and the water falls in the form of precipitation at this point man-made infrastructure becomes important the falling rain is collected in reservoirs which are created by building dams against mountains afterwards the water is released from the reservoir through a valve at the bottom of the dam which flows down to a turbine using and here i'm going to make a little correction so it's clear which then flows down to a turbine using the force of gravity to generate power the water then returns back to the reservoir through the assistance of a pump house in the next phase the electricity is sent from the turbine to high voltage cables which deliver this energy to a transformer station in the final step the transformer station disburses the hydroelectric power to homes industry and infrastructure such as hospitals and schools in summary after having observed this process it is clear that the culmination of natural forces such as the hydrolytic cycling gravity culminate with human innovation to produce electricity for the public okay that's your band 9 essay and that's how you have to think about it so you have to go through steps okay you can learn this type of writing and you can learn this type of thinking and this english on our websites especially when you join our premium ielts package it's a one-time payment for lifetime access at ae help dot com for academic outs and gltshelp.com for general i highly recommend doing that genial culmination means that it's all brought together combination means to accumulate okay to bring together all right you're very welcome everyone i hope that you enjoyed today's lesson tomorrow i'll be back with some more writing for our members and also some reading practice for the all chat class have a fantastic rest of your day everyone you're all clever amazing individuals always remember that i'm adrian signing out from budapest for now much love to all of you bye you

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Keywords: IELTS writing task 1, diagram, pie chart, line graph, bar chart, flow-chart, IELTS descriptions, International English Language Testing System, English examination, writing for graphs, writing for charts, writing for tables, IELTS task 1, Lesson, Teacher, Learn, Student, Lessons, Learning, Free, Intro, Tutorial, IELTS task 1 explain, IELTS task 1 learning, IELTS task 1 descriptions

Id: pnaxhCnHDio

Length: 55min 10sec (3310 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 14 2021