IELTS Live - Task 1 - Writing a Band 9 Line Graph Essay

students and welcome to today's live IELTS class my name is Adrian and I'm streaming to you live from beautiful Budapest here in Central Europe I hope everybody has had a fantastic week and is looking forward to a nice Saturday and Sunday ahead hi parish patel hi Caterham keenum a was nice to see a member in the class Michael Phan one of our regular students good to see you all welcome in this class we are looking at a task one writing for the academic version of the exam we are specifically looking at a line graph example with some strategy and a sample essay as well of course pretty yogi nice to see another member in the class while we wait for a few more of your fellow students this class is presented to you by AE help calm for lots and lots of high-quality academic IELTS help the strategies check us out there for general IELTS check us out at G IELTS help calm again on both of these websites we have tons of materials for you including over a hundred hours of video lessons for the listening reading writing sections from me and other English teachers and in IELTS examiner's and this is what our general website looks like here with the green background and gol talk on click that big red button to join and for the academic it's the blue background at AE help comm click that red button to join again lots of materials videos exams and a fully interactive course for your phone tablet PC you can download and link our apps academic IELTS help and general IELTS help also if you have questions for me about the exam about the IELTS or about our products just send me an email adrian at AE help calm if you want our exam books and paper version go on Amazon search for a helps academic IELTS or G helps general IELTS color tuned you made it you're in the class woohoo alright so again students today task one and then tomorrow we will have speaking part two speaking part three and that will conclude the week on Saturday okay let's get into it and so here is our IELTS task 1 topic for today okay for those of you who are looking for lots of task 1 you can for general you can find it on our GL's help calm website also ok so let's look at the question here so IELTS task 1 writing you should spend about 20 minutes on this task don't spend more than 20 minutes on the task because you need to have 40 minutes for task 2 the following graph shows the music buying trends for a time period summarize and report the main features and make comparisons were irrelevant you must write at least 150 words that means minimum ok for task 1 you should be closer to 180 words okay Shami see dean i wish you good luck on your exam tomorrow ok I hope it goes well for you alright so we've read the question its graph about the music buying trends or music buying behaviors in a certain time period let's take a look at the actual graph so it's the percentage of total music sales by method what are the methods method means the way so we have streams streaming we have downloads and then we have CD purchases so buying the actual CDs this is for music ok so here on the y-axis okay we have the percentage and the percentage goes from zero to 60 okay and then on the x-axis we have the years we have 2011 to 2018 so one two three four five six seven eight years so eight years of buying music and their respective percentages okay that's great fantastic so let's do this what's my first step what should I do okay violet knew and now you're saying the screen is too dark but it looks quite bright for me I can brighten it even a bit more here let's see is that a little bit better like keep it like that okay all right so what do I do what do I do hikmah Atilla says paraphrase a Wozzeck command of says paraphrase the question adds some more details okay sure let's do that so our first bit of information here is the overview okay you really only need three paragraphs you need an overview a body paragraph and a summary okay so the overview that's two parts part one is paraphrase the question with details okay and the second is report the most obvious features okay this is your introduction as well you don't need to separate these two sometimes you will see teachers separate the introduction in the overview and make two really small paragraphs it's not necessary okay the overview is the introduction the IELTS examiner will not documents for not separating these into more paragraphs okay so let's do that so let's paraphrase the question here with the following graph shows the music buying trends for a time periods summarize and report the main feature so let's paraphrase that okay alright I'm looking forward to it I'm going to paraphrase with you and then we'll compare okay right so again here's the graph back so you can use that a little bit and then we'll see I can't read this Cyrillic but the given graph depicts the promotion of different types of music tendencies between 2011 and 2014 graph this is a line graph so state the line graph as Latifah is done okay so let the examiner know that you know what kind of a graph this is okay right away so it's not proportion of music tendencies but it's actually the music sales okay and in the question I believe it says that as well so the buying trends so buying is the verb its purchasing okay selling purchasing two sides of the same coin you have to show that in your paraphrase all right Latifah says the line graph depicts the different methods of purchasing music stream download and CD comma between the years 2011 to 2018 okay Latifah you don't need to repeat the word purchase just one time okay I was the given line graph provides information about the format for music sold using three different modes streams downloads and CD purchases from 2011 to 2018 oh was i corrected quite a bit there be careful of your grammar and the order of your words okay do some grammar review I was it's really important for you okay all right Pavan C says the given line graph depicts the trends of purchasing music between 2011 and 2015 [Music] pendant variables like streams downloads and CD purchases you might as well name that in the paraphrase if there are lots like if you have eight or ten then yeah maybe don't list them all but when you have three or four especially when they're short streams downloads CDs purchased or CDs then you might as well mention that in that paraphrase okay all right Neal Gunn says the following line graph indicates the sales of music trends namely streams downloads and CDs purchased in a period from 2011 to 2018 Neal goon works okay I'm guessing you're in Turkey nice okay that's good summoned erm coerce says this line graph depicts the various trends for purchasing three types of music it's not types of music but it's the medium of music so the storage right we store music on CDs and we store it in digital formats so here it's the modes or the methods right it's not the types of music summoned or careful for eight consecutive years from 2018 or 11 to 2018 samandar you don't need to write consecutive years for line graphs because we know that the line graph shows consecutive years you only use consecutive years if it's for example a pie chart or bar charts where we're not sure if they're consecutive years on line graphs they're almost always consecutive years okay that's why it's a line graph it's continuous all right okay so here is my paraphrase mm-hmm so you'll see it's quite similar to many of yours the given line graph depicts three formats so this is the format used by people to purchase music including streaming downloads and CDs from the years 2011 to 2018 that's very very clear for your reader okay alright so now let's continue with the obvious features okay so that's the second sentence of the overview and now that we have the paraphrase I'm just going to shift our overview here to position underneath the graph that will make it a little bit simpler for me so here again is the line graph what's the most obvious feature so what is the most obvious feature when you look at this line graph what do we see right away without really looking too much for numbers or details okay so what do we see what's the most obvious feature yes violet knew in their lines this is a dotted line this is a solid line this is a dashed line I'll give you that vocabulary it's not the most obvious feature though it's just some vocabulary okay dotted line the paper-based outs you don't have this is called a solid line okay this is called a dashed line what do we see so Bruce Young says well we see that CD purchases decrease during this time period okay yeah sure do we see anything else Charlie senses the increasing trend of streaming yeah I think that's the most obvious so the most obvious is the decreasing trend of CDs and the increasing trend of the streams absolutely streams go up CD purchases go down that's right but you so let's put that into a clear complete sentence CD purchases decrease streams increase put that into a nice full sentence for me to complete your overview that's definitely the most obvious I'm gonna do the same and then we'll compare okay all right looks good so this is my overview the given line graph depicts three formats used by people to purchase music including streaming downloads and CDs from the years 2011 to 2018 clearly throughout this 8 year period the sales of CDs drastically decreased while streaming purchases increase man if I want to be a little bit more accurate significantly good let's see if some of you have some similar ok Allah says overall it can be seen that CDs show an upward trend at the same time streams show a downward trend yeah that works so was Cully tune says overall streaming has an upward trend whereas downloads fluctuate in the coming years and also CDs go out of trends as time passes not bad collie tune I wouldn't worry too much about downloads and downloads aren't really fluctuating color tune they're just go they go up and then they go down that's not really a fluctuation so careful and I would leave that out if there's not much change like with with the downloads we can talk about that later but it's always important to look at the most significant changes and so CDs and streams are much more interesting than downloads downloads we'll discuss it but it's not absolutely important for the overview okay marceline jason says overall CDs purchases decrease while streams increase over the given periods okay Marceline you don't need the verb the be verb with decrease its active voice here and decrease is the verb so you don't need the be verb is okay now I can't read the Arabic but it's remarkable all that while streams have an extreme upward trend CDs have an overwhelmingly downward trend don't include the word remarkable that's a subjective opinion and it's not that remarkable it's just the way it is okay all right ruslan says it is noticeable that within the given years purchases of CDs rapidly decrease while streaming sales increase ruslan obviously noticeable hmm not necessary it is obvious or it is noticeable but not both okay you don't need both alright okay so far so good Charlie sense says from the graph it is crystal-clear that CD sales trend has decreased throughout the eight years from 2011 to 18 whereas online streaming of music has an increasing trend within this period Charlie not bad careful with wordiness mentioned period it's too wordy too many words unnecessary okay so don't overstate Charlie focus on more information okay mr. Beck says at first I shot it's evident that the years list and saw a minimal fall in sales of CD purchases whereas streaming sales increased gradually mr. Beck careful with information mistakes it's not minimal it dropped from almost 60 percent to below 30 so that's not minimal it's quite significant okay what do I do next students so I have my overview okay here it is what's my next step so what should I do after I complete the overview what do I do next what's my next step so I explained what we're looking at with more details and I included the main features okay so my next body paragraph right is also what's called the analysis or analyses for plural okay and do I just start writing it so do I just start writing the analysis should I just pick the first one start writing it but I've been but I boom and that's it no right first I want to identify five to eight points for my body okay so first identify the five to eight points which become your sentences okay so don't just start writing create your logic first all right so because in my overview I said that CD purchases decrease rapidly while streams increase and I want to make sure that that's the order that I said right so it is so again logic especially in the academic IELTS is very important for the high band score so here I talked about CDs drastically decrease first and then I talked about streaming increases second okay so my analysis should follow that same logic okay so first of all I should talk about CDs decreasing so this is my point number one okay moving from here to here now here I have a crossover okay and here I have a crossover alright so those would be important positions to mention before I get to this position here okay instead of calling these 1 2 3 4 let's call these 1b because they might not be separate sentences they might we might be able to connect it with some words ok so 1 B 1 C and 1 D ok but definitely all of these points should be somewhere in the beginning ok that makes sense and then in my overview I talked about streams so this would be my point - ok and then this might be my to be but I don't need to mention it necessarily if I mention it here but this one here is important so to be and then to see ok is everybody with me so far the logic that I'm using I'm not going to mention this crossover with streams because I already mention it with the CDs purchased right ok now finally for downloads and I'm always going from the most significant to the least significant ok because if I run out of time if I don't have if I used all my 20 minutes I stopped and I go to tasks to never ever take time from task 2 because task 2 is worth more than task 1 ok and you should always start with task 1 because it's a warm for task two it gets you going for task two do not start with task two okay but don't take time from task two so if you've finished 20 minutes for task 1 stop and go to task 2 that will give you the best chance for your maximum IELTS score all right so this is my point 3 okay now this is mentioned so we're good there but here this is the peak right so this is my 3b and then I don't need to mention this because I mentioned it talking about streams so now I have this point here which is my 300 K so what will my body paragraph look like okay my body paragraph will discuss the trends of CDs from the highest to the lowest point as it crosses over with these other two formats then I will focus on the streams as it increases and crosses over here with the format of downloads and finally I'll discuss downloads as it reaches its highest and then returns to its lowest point okay all right hope that makes sense we're going to do that together now so I'm going to write some sentences you will write some sentences and then we will compare so let's start with number 1 here you should use some nice connective words to combine ideas for these points as much as possible make sure that you're using good grammar okay our gender sing is asking can we say peak high also I'm not sure what you're asking this is just the peak peak is a noun here okay I wouldn't combine it with the word high okay another way to say peak is apex students VOC malaria is good so it's good to know vocabulary you are marked on your lexical resource but the quality of your sentences and the quality of your communication how well you structure and connect your ideas is much more important than knowing these words per se okay so you don't need lots of vocabulary to get high band scores you need great communication and good structure okay High Point is okay you can say it's a high point okay where its highest sales value okay lots of different ways to say that all right so let's get to it we're dealing with CDs CDs are at fifty five percent in 2011 okay let's start there it falls below the sales of downloads in 2013 okay at around 40% so let's start with that line there that's what I'm gonna do and then I'll go back and look at what you're writing I see that some students already have some answers there so when looking at this line graph in more detail it is I don't want to repeat words obvious that CD sales dominated in 2011 with 55% of the total over the next two years CDs sales dropped and fell below downloads too 40% or under 40% can 40% this downward trend progressed further and by 2018 CD sales became the least popular method of buying or of selling among not between because there's more than two these three formats to just twenty-five percent of the total now in the computer-based exam this is where you can go aha okay wait a second I missed the point here I missed point one see where CD sales fall below the sales of streams okay so in the computer-based exam it will be easier for you to go back and add in this sentence and the paper-based exam it's a little bit trickier you have to use an additive kind of marker in the paper-based exam be very careful not to miss points and look carefully at the graph that's why on the paper-based exam I recommend marking your points directly on the piece of paper on the question sheet okay so I'm going to go back here and make this correction and in 2016 dropped under purchases made through streaming okay so here I describe CDs okay when looking at this line graph in more detail it is obvious that CD sales dominated in 2011 with 55% of the total over the next two years CDs sales dropped and fell below downloads to just under 40% this downward trend progressed further and in 2016 sales dropped under purchases made through streaming by 2018 CD sales became the least popular method of selling among these three formats to just 25 percent of the total okay so now I've described one a B C and D let's see how you did this okay there are more ways to report this same information I'm very curious how you reported this information okay alright and it looks like it's making sense for a lot of you occupier always write the overview before the the body paragraph okay always alright so hikmah tillow says looking at the graph in more detail in the beginning of the period CDs were the most purchased music trend with about 55% but it fell moderately to nearly 24% in 2018 hmmm hikmah till okay you have a lot of missing information there about those crossovers and also it's not moderately okay 24:25 percent is less than half of where it started that's dramatic or that's drastic that's significant moderate is just kind of so-so so if it's 55% hikmah tillow moderately would be like too 45% like a 10% drop maybe 15% but anything after that it's much more than moderate okay so careful with that awaaz says i waz up Mondavi says looking at the data in more detail at the beginning of the period CD purchase purchases start with roughly 55% of the total however it declines gradually over the period to about 25% well gradually I'm not sure where you're getting that from students it's not a gradual decrease okay when you have so just to make that a little bit clearer I mean if we were talking University master's class then yeah we could go into more details this is significant this is gradual so when you have a change in the graph let me help you with this so if you're looking at a change here of 30 degrees or more okay or greater then this is dramatic or drastic or rapid okay I'm sure if I were a store and my store was mostly focusing on selling CDs I would be panicking if my sales dropped 30% in two three-year time period okay now here in this period okay we have about a 10 percent or a 10-story a 10 degree shift so this would be a moderate or a gradual okay but for the aisles we don't need to go into that much detail okay this is dominant so it's better to use these words does that make sense okay I hope that's clear and again we can see this same trend in the inverse with with streams so if you look at streams if I draw a line out here right then you can again see that 30 degree + rapid incline so it's not moderate its rapid if my business or my company is dealing with streaming sales and I see this then I'm going woohoo that's not moderate that's significant okay so keep that in mind okay let's see what else we have Gunjan Bhatt says analyzing in more details CDs purchasing purchasing rate was about 55% in 2011 which was the highest figure of all and then the observed gradually decreased from approximately 40 percent in 2013 to nearly 25 percent in 2016 it's okay students a lot of you are missing these crossovers okay these are significant points so these are very important points for your audience if your company is dealing with music sales then these crossover points are extremely important for you okay think about it that way yeah call it tune absolutely you can mention directly about the graph or just report it historically but don't overdo talking about the graph collie tune okay so when looking at this line graph in more detail it is obvious that CD sales dominated in 2011 with 55% of the total over the next two years CDs sales dropped and fell below downloads to just under 40 percent this downward trend progressed further and in 2016 CDs sales dropped under purchases made through streaming by 2018 CD sales became the least popular method of selling and among these three formats - just 25 percent of the total okay that is your ban 9 level analysis and reporting expository essay all right so far so good there's a lot of great sentences I've read through a few of them I can't reflect on all of them otherwise we won't get past the overview let's let's do this one so we've we're good so CDs check ok now let's do this so 2a and this we've done so we don't need to report to be ok and to see so report this trend for me here streams start at about 5% in 2011 they exceed or surpass okay so the words you're looking for your exceed and surpass and that happens in 2017 at about 35% okay and then the final kind of stage here is just over 40% so about 42% okay 2011 5% 2017 roughly 35% and then 2018 over 40% so surpass hikmah tillow not overpass surpass okay all right so in a couple sentences report the line of streaming for me please students the line of streaming okay hikmah tillow again surpass or exceed not overpass and overpass and that that word has a different meaning hikmah tillow when cars go above another Lane that's called an overpass okay so surpass don't use both words just use one students okay so I'm going to write and then you write and then we compare okay in contrast streaming was the least consumed format in 2011 at just five percent of the total from which time it increased significantly surpassing the sales made through downloads in 2017 at around or roughly thirty five percent and finally coming out on top at just over 40% of all music sales by 2018 okay so keep writing students keep writing so I can see what you have okay all right students please do use English in the chat if I see too much of other languages then I will have to remove you from the channel so if you want to be a part of the channel then please use English okay be respectful to other students from other parts of the world all right this channel is focusing on improving your English and it's not really for entertainment I like to have fun but the goal here is for you to succeed on the exam okay so again please use English or you will lose your privileges on the channel thank you okay all right so NN is saying reaching 40 percent in 2018 for streams ok and then don't go in the inverse so start linear with 2011 going to 2018 otherwise it's quite confusing ok so Neil Gunn says the sales of streams started with a low of approximately 5% in 2011 and it rose dramatically nil goo not elevated elevated as awkward English rose dramatically to a high of around 30% which is six-fold of the initial year in surpassed CDs in 2016 Neil gun that's good the reason I didn't write about the CDs is because I already mention that with CDs first right so that's why I mention it here okay so in 2016 CD sales dropped under purchases made through streaming so I don't need to repeat that when I discuss streaming because it's clear from this sentence that then streaming also surpassed CDs in 2016 so don't double mention information that's not necessary okay but if you didn't mention it here then yes it's okay to mention it later okay all right Marceline says all of the purchases of downloads started in 2011 with a rate at just 5% it experienced a rapid increase in the given period Marceline very nice okay you're you're off to a good start you just need to keep going shamsid-deen initiated is a bit awkward in this context initiating does mean to start but more in different contexts okay so streams began or streams started it's better streams initiated there's a little bit awkward okay Latifah says on the other hand streaming was the least used method the least bought method right Latifah it's bought is a more accurate verb than used so the least bought method in 2011 at about five percent okay that's good what you did really well Latifah is you used on the other hand yeah because in this line graph you have this huge decrease here and then you have this huge increase here so it's a very clear contrast definitely you want to state that notice how I say in contrast that's how I start in contrast streaming was the least consumed format in 2011 so show that comparison okay good now I'm going to finish my analysis with downloads okay so for downloads I need to mention this point this point and this point because I've mentioned all of these crossover points talking about CDs and streams so I don't need to mention the crossover points again just these points here alright so follow with my logic and this is additive it's not a furthermore furthermore as when we have something that's really exciting and interesting this is not a furthermore and again if you've reached your 20 minutes go to task 2 if not get into this so in addition in addition is very similar to furthermore but we use in addition when it's not really exciting news it's just some extra information okay so in addition download sales were a strong second in 2011 at around 35 percent of sales okay now this is kind of exciting in this year in 2014 downloads were the most popular okay so sales increased and downloads became the most popular just for a short time actually well for a while there okay so but this point is exciting for us this apex this peak in 2014 at 40 roughly 40 to 43 percent so let's mention that okay over the next few years purchases made by downloading this is where it gradually increased right that 10 degree difference okay so over the next few years purchase is made by downloading gradually increased and by 2014 it was the preferred method of consumption of music at about 42 percent okay following this time the popularity of download sales decreased and by 2018 it dropped to 30% okay so again that's where you're going with this and now students for those of you who are looking for band aid band 9 I definitely suggest including a summary and the summary you can start by writing in summary and then the summary should be different from the overview and give and gives an objective piece of information that we learn from the graph okay so what do we learn after all of this analysis and looking at this graph well we learn that over this time period there is a lot of change in the pattern or in the format's used for people to purchase music so that's what we can summarize about this okay so in summary it is evident that there is ongoing change in the format that music is purchased in this eight-year period okay that's what we can summarize let's read it hopefully it makes sense here we go looks like a lot but it's not remember I'm using size 16 font so I'm not fitting a lot of words on to one line the given line graph depicts three formats used by people to purchase music including streaming downloads and CDs from the years 2011 to 2018 clearly through this eight year period the sales of CDs drastically decrease while streaming purchases increase significantly when looking at this graph in more detail it is obvious that CD sales dominated in 2011 with 55% of the total over the next two years CDs sales dropped and fell below downloads - just under 40% this downward trend progressed further and in 2016 CD sales dropped under purchases made through streaming by 2018 CD sales became the least popular method of selling among these three formats - just 25% of the total in contrast streaming was the least consumed format in 2011 at just 5 percent of the total from which time it increased significantly surpassing sales made through downloads in 2017 at roughly 35 percent and finally coming out on top at just over 40% of all music sales by 2018 in addition download sales were a strong second in 2011 and around 35% of sales over the next few years purchases made by downloading gradually increased and by 2014 it was the preferred method of consumption of music at about 42 percent following this time the popularity of download sales decreased and by 2018 it dropped to 30% in summary it is evident that there's an ongoing change in the format that music is purchased in this eight-year period all right that is your band 9 response it's roughly 220 words students I will post this question and response on our YouTube community board so you can review it there I noticed when I was reviewing that there are a few comma mistakes so I have a couple of mistakes using commas let's see if you can spot those of course on the YouTube community board I'll have all the correct comma usage there okay and for lots more help and HD high quality videos with no appetizing good structure great flow definitely join our Premium Package at AE help calm you can do that by clicking this big red button at a help calm and for general out students who are looking for task 1 letter-writing videos click that big red button there at G IELTS help calm okay alright that's all the time for today everyone tomorrow speaking part two speaking part three two classes coming up that will be tomorrow keep it up everyone and good luck for those of you writing your exams this week bye for now much love to all of you from Budapest Hungary ciao

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Keywords: IELTS writing task 1, diagram, pie chart, line graph, bar chart, flow-chart, IELTS descriptions, International English Language Testing System, English examination, writing for graphs, writing for charts, writing for tables, IELTS task 1, Lesson, Teacher, Learn, Student, Lessons, Learning, Free, Intro, Tutorial, IELTS task 1 explain, IELTS task 1 learning, IELTS task 1 descriptions

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Length: 56min 59sec (3419 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 21 2020