I spent a day with AGORAPHOBICS (Extreme Anxiety Disorder)

agoraphobia an overwhelming fear of places and situations that may cause helplessness or embarrassment for agoraphobics leaving the safety and familiarity of one's home entering a crowded space and all anxiety inducing situations in general tend to result in debilitating panic attacks the term agoraphobia was coined in 1871 by German neurologist Karl West Paul who used the Greek word Agora meaning market in reference to the fear of large open spaces but what about the estimated 1.8 million adults who have a agoraphobia my name is Anthony Padilla and today I'm gonna be remotely sitting down with people who have a agoraphobia to learn the truth about this often overlooked and misunderstood anxiety disorder is the agoraphobia easily overcome with simple coaching and therapy or is this anxiety disorder far too overbearing and crippling for anyone to ever overcome leaving these individuals to forever live within the confines of their own home [Music] hey Josh hi Anthony Wendy Kylene thank you so much for coming out and teaching me about the wondrous world of living with agoraphobia I mean it's very wondrous what do you consider yourself a agoraphobic panic attack connoisseur I just like to say that I'm someone who is diagnosed with a agoraphobia I also have obsessive-compulsive disorder and so the agoraphobia somewhat piggybacks that can I consider myself a train wreck before we learn more about the wondrous world of living with the agoraphobia I just want to take a quick moment to thank ray Khan for sponsoring this episode and supporting this series well ad revenue feels unstable during this global crisis sponsors help ensure we can continue to produce this series so again thank you so much to Ray Khan who sent me these wireless earbuds that I'm using today for all three of these interviews ray Khan offers their wireless earbuds in a range of fun colors and patterns they're super comfortable and come with a variety of fit options ray con earbuds start at about half the price of any other premium wireless at your buds on the market and so just as amazing as other top audio brands I'm currently wearing their latest model e 25 utilizing their seamless bluetooth pairing which has been really nice it's it sounds great it feels great and I am in love go to buy recon comm slash Padilla pa da ll a for 50% off your first purchase and on a completely separate note please go check out my two most recent videos covering coronavirus survivors and immunocompromised individuals in which I'm donating 100% of those profits to two important organizations helping those at risk during this pandemic that's all I wanted to say now back learning about the wondrous world of living with agoraphobia what does having a agoraphobia entail for me it's just kind of when I'm in tight situations with a lot of people around me I start to my head just starts to like I feel like I'm trapped or stuck going outside your comfort zone can cause panic attacks hyperventilate you can lose feeling in your hands and feet and usually the the most comfortable places within the safety of your home but it doesn't have to do with the home itself it has to do with the safety it does think of the scariest movie you've ever watched or the scariest game you've ever played or when you go into sleep paralysis that's how I feel when I go outside to talk to people or to just be around people it's like the worst experience ever it's just that that perpetual state of anxiety always how long have you had to go or phobia and I've been diagnosed for three years now but I think I've had it for longer I've probably had it for five or six I don't think I said it until my early 20s he really really spiked when I was around like 17 18 years old when I went there's some really traumatic events and not so bad that now my entire life is constrained to a closet my mom has a agoraphobia and she tells me that some of the first instances when she realized that she was feeling these feelings that ended up being a agoraphobia is when she felt like she was dissociating or feeling derealization like she wasn't part of her her body or the world what was the feeling that first made you avoid going out and this is a question for my mom I think it was probably in a middle school classroom when I had this I wouldn't necessarily call an outer-body experience but I felt like I wasn't in my own head I felt like it's just everything was everything was just too much and I couldn't I couldn't focus I couldn't like move I was just kind of frozen I started making more excuses about reasons why I couldn't go out as I noticed they just started to pile up and I started to think I just don't want to go out anymore it became harder and harder to go out I want to give a trigger warning because this is really dark when I was 17 this was back in like the myspace days when people would like meet on MySpace I have done that too many times but I met this guy oh I found out later he was lying about his age he was like to burst sweet and super nice and he was like in a band and you know 16 I'm like oh that's really cool we arranged a date and I went and met up with him and I got in his car and we were driving for a little bit and I was so distracted by how cool he was and how cute he was I was like oh this is so great and before I knew it we've been driving for several hours and he kind of played it off and was like oh I'm sorry I forgot to tell you how far away I lived and I was like oh it's okay like you know and we went up to his apartment and I'm like okay like this is kind of weird you're only like 18 and you already have an apartment okay and we get up to his house and like we go in his room and he suddenly locks the door and immediately some red flags are going off I'm like okay this is a little interesting and he turns and looks at me and he says you're not going anywhere I don't remember much after that because I think I hit my head I think he threw me so hard that I hit my head but I'm like trying not to get emotional yeah that's okay and if it's too if it's too much don't feel don't force yourself to talk about it the one thing that I will say is he tried to kill me there was a point where he was on top of me strangling me and he looked me dead in the face and said nobody knows where you're no one knows where you are and I'm gonna kill you and nobody's ever gonna find your body but I just remember crying and begging him like please my brothers need me I like I have to go home I have to take care of them they need me like they need me you can't kill me I have to take care of my brothers you had to plead for your life I did I can only imagine how helpless you felt in that moment and how that must have affected you psychologically with everything in your life to feel that like I'm gonna die and have that Rush go through your head of like I still wanted to do things like there's stuff I wanted to see and go through and like is this really where it ends and then to just all have that come back how do you think that specifically affected your agoraphobia and did that trigger the agoraphobia right away there was an accident and I lost the little brothers that got me through that survival they passed away those were the two big events that really were like wow the world kind of sucks I want to stay inside you felt completely powerless in your life and you felt like you had no control so you're gonna retreat to your safest place to make you feel sane to make you feel normal and I'm not surprised that that was in the comfort of your home thank you for giving me like a platform to share it because I don't know a lot of people don't know what I've been through so a lot of people just kind of look at me and they're like why do you hide in your house all the time like you're fine what types of lifestyle adjustments did you need to make once you realize that you had agoraphobia I do everything in steps and I tell myself it's not you don't have to do it all at once I was like you have to go out to your car then when you get in the car you have to drive here then when you get here and I keep track of these steps and if you do it in steps it's a little bit easier my mom told me that specifically she feels most safe if she ever has to go out to a pharmacy to pick up a prescription or something like that if she can see the car that she knows that she's that will take her home if she could see that car through a window or just like outside the door about that but I do I park where I can see it from where I am something about knowing that that is a safe place and that it's within your line-of-sight probably comes your nerves it does the biggest thing right now for me is most of my classes are at home as far as high school goes so I take most of my classes in my house where I am able to trust my parents trust my family in which is really nice I only go to certain places I have very regular like store people that don't like you who work at the store they all know me by name they all know when I'm gonna be there restaurants they all know what I eat they all know when I'm gonna be there they all know me my name you have your routines you have very specific things that you know you're safe doing feeling like I have a schedule like I had to completely change it for this interview which was tough and I had to like build up to it for a week because I was like this is not my routine this is not my routine it's totally worth it I'm gonna do this it's okay what is a typical day look like for you I have like a task board on my fridge like I have things most people would just you know it'd be bigger things but some of mine are just like drive my son to school you know that that is an accomplishment right there yeah my mom will will tell me about plans she has for you know multiple weeks away about certain little things that she has planned and then when those dates come and pass she'll she'll text me and be like oh I went to the grocery store and I was able to be in there for 10 minutes that I felt okay and there are these things that other people might see as mundane or normal or small situations but they are big accomplishments to someone that that has a agoraphobia how has your experience with Quarantine been it hasn't changed at all I still my routine is exactly the same the only thing that's a little different is like when I go to my doctor's office I know it's not that video but I am immune compromised as well as being in core phobic because when I said I was a train wreck I wasn't joking oh yeah it's been it's been pretty great it's a good thing for you it's pretty great was I mean with all due respect quarantine is great for me because all the people that I would normally enjoy spending time with aren't out at school they're at home themselves so I can call one or two of them at a time and I love playing video games I love you know texting you know Skype call them it's such a mixed bag there's a little part of me that's like oh we can be in quarantine we don't never have to go out I'm wondering if like the novelty will wear off because if there's one thing to like choose it for yourself but when you're trapped I'm wondering if eventually that'll shift and so all feel trapped in my own house do you feel like you were better prepared for the quarantine than other people who aren't ago phobic I feel like I am and my my OCD is a contamination phobia centered and so I already had all of this stuff I was like set for hand sanitizer and all this kind of stuff and so this is like all in my wheelhouse how do you feel about people claiming that there are agoraphobic now or understand the feeling of agoraphobia just because of the quarantine I think that's a completely unjustifiable comparison it's it's more than just not leaving your house it's a lot more than it's it's a feeling it's a mental state and when people say they understand it it's kind of the last thing I want to hear you have a agoraphobia your world becomes so challenging the outside world is so hostile and and it takes over every aspect of your life sometimes I wonder who I am outside of some of these conditions and I don't think that's something that just somebody in quarantine can experience do you probably tell people that you're a agoraphobic or is that something you keep more as a secret it's it doesn't come up in conversation much and only really I only really like to talk about it when I have to because I mean I would rather not be looked at as someone treated like someone with the condition not so much anymore and it's not that I think people should be ashamed of being agoraphobic it's just my personal experience has not been positively received so I kind of keep it to myself I tell people I have OCD I tell people I have a core phobia because it's not something to be ashamed of it is a part of how I live my life can you describe how helpful therapy has been for you throughout this whole process it has been amazing therapy honestly has changed my life which is so frustrating because therapy has such a negative connotation in society so many people are like oh you go too thick like it's so good I'm a huge advocate for for therapy my life has has been so much better I've been more content in being myself and knowing that it's okay to feel the feelings that I feel I can't even put into words how far I've come in like the work that I've done and like the wounds that I didn't even know I had that I worked through it takes a work it's not passive you have to make that effort you have to want it the only way that you're gonna benefit from therapy is if you want to be benefited from therapy and you're willing to work through the tough moments exactly they want you to do the work and when you do the work you find so much success and you find so much about yourself that you didn't even realize how difficult is it to explain what a agoraphobia is to someone who has no concept it is difficult for them to understand the severity of how much it affects your life when you say I have a agoraphobia or I have OCD they're like oh yeah I do too you're thinking you have a lot more choice in this than there is I really couldn't grasp the concept and just how debilitating agoraphobia actually is until I experienced my first panic attack in my early 20s and it was at that point that I saw that it's not a choice you don't have as much control over it I think is the average person thinks is it difficult for you to maintain a work life with agoraphobia I haven't been able to work for a long time and that means that I have to rely on the people in my life and that sucks my mom always tells me that she hates to be a burden she doesn't want to ask for help if she hates to be a burden and I'm just constantly like mom you're not a burden mom you're not a burden and it's tough because I feel like in our society where we're constantly being told that if we are not contributing to society and taking care of ourselves and being fully independent that we're nothing but leeching off of the people around us but obviously that's not the case the people around you help you because they love you and care about you and want you to feel safe you're not a burden I grew up hearing the same thing that like if you don't work and if you don't contribute you're worthless and like they tell me that too like they love me and that I'm not a burden and that it doesn't matter but like I'm sure your mom would tell you the same thing they could tell you that until they're blue in the face and you're always gonna feel like a burden how do you think people without agoraphobia should interact with those who do talk to us treat us as any other person I don't like to be treated differently than somebody without agoraphobia I don't like to be talked about I don't you know I just think I think it's something to keep in mind I wouldn't say forget it Laura do feel wants to know what the most extreme measure is that you've taken in order to avoid going out or to avoid uncomfortable situations when I was invited to a big party and at this time not everybody knew what I was diagnosed with and I didn't I couldn't go but I didn't want to say I didn't want to tell them that I think so pretty sure I told them that my dog had died Oh No and they and they feel so bad and I realized what I'd done like five minutes after I said it I was like I should have never said that that was awful not even realizing it I ate bad food to make myself sick so I didn't have to go somewhere oh my god cuz you had an excuse that was that that was true and you didn't have to feel like you were lying I'm puking my guts out I can't go maybe not the best way to go about it I didn't go eating the food like I'm gonna do this so I don't have to go but like I know my allergies I shouldn't have eaten that bunny X soap wants to know if you're having an episode how those around you could help make sure they know that but that you care about them that and then try and get them to a place where they feel safe and can start to recover I really like just having that support of someone like it's okay like this moment is gonna pass and you're going to be okay if you woke up tomorrow and suddenly no longer had agoraphobia what do you think the first thing is that you would do going to festivals and stuff like that and not having to plan ahead of time not having to make compromises on what I can't handle in a day it would be freeing I think a plane ride it just sounds so I don't know I don't see how there's so many people just do it for billing business trips and just act like it's nothing like I can I can't even imagine being that far up in the sky right go get my girlfriend and go to the other you go to the ocean just hang out at the beach oh yeah I love the ocean that's so funny you say that because my mom always tells me that she wishes she could go to the ocean specifically a tropical beach she's never been and I'm always like yeah I'm always like mom if if for any reason there's one day where you feel like you are up for it just call me shoot me a text tell me we're going to Hawaii and I will make it happen and we will go tomorrow people with the agoraphobia are usually assumed to be introverted and that they prefer the feeling of being away from people within their home do you find that to be the case with you I think I'm a very extroverted individual and I love talking to people and meeting new people and so I think I think yeah it's it's not everyone introvert so I think that's something that people need to kind of respect and not just say oh you must be happy during this quarantine seeing new faces and see new people is refreshing but it's when a lot of things are happening at once that I start to break down how do your friends and family feel about you being agoraphobic though some of them know some of them don't some of your friends that family don't know there's a lot of my family that doesn't know and they would not approve and if they see this it's gonna be bad really what would you want to say to any of your unapproved that ends up watching this you what do you think the biggest misconception about agoraphobia is that you don't like to leave the house it's so simplified and I think that's how come people don't recognize they have it a lot of times that people who are sitting in their houses all day are doing it because they want to like I don't sit in my house all day because it's the bee's knees I love outside I think it's beautiful but I can't go out there because I get scared and that sucks like my goal is to by the end of the year be able to set up a canvass outside and be able to eat on my porch if there's someone watching who is feeling helplessly debilitated with agoraphobia is there anything that you'd want to say to them while it's going to be a part of your life it doesn't have to define you there will be bad days like I'm anticipating some bad days coming up but I also know that I can manage it either with help from outside or just through like maybe online communities you can manage it better you can become you can have a very happy life you can you can do the things you want you just may need to scale back or adapt them or or compromise I actually have a parting gift for you a best interviewer shirt which you can get it until though shop calm but for you I will ship you one of these for free assuming you take necessary precautions in and you know being safe during this quarantine and spraying it down with bleach before a white shirt is what you're saying all right you got five seconds a shout-out or promote anything you want to recommend a camera go there just stay inside stay safe you know the more that we can protect ourselves the faster this will be over if you like art check me out here my sister here and my girlfriend here I just want to thank all of the doctors nurses therapists warehouse workers and delivery people you are always been my heroes and now you are everyone's heroes if you don't subscribe to Anthony Padilla the quarantine is gonna last forever and you'll all become agoraphobic just like me thank you so much Wendy I feel like I understand the wondrous world of living with the agoraphobia just a little bit more this was worth pushing myself after spending the day with these agoraphobics I've learned just how strong one must be in order to handle such visceral fear and anxiety on a daily basis my struggle with panic attacks over the years has been enormous but it doesn't even compare these are agoraphobic deserve nothing but the utmost respect and support through their journey and before we go I want to dedicate this entire video to my mom who has dealt with agoraphobia since she was just 16 years mom if you're watching this I wish I would have taken the time to fully understand your struggles with the agoraphobia when I was growing up you've been through so much and you are so incredibly strong I'm proud of you and the immensely caring and nurturing mother you've always been for me I love you mom see you later bye guys press a like right now press it just go to the go to the beach we'll obviously not now because everything's closed right yeah non quarantine at least yeah go to see our Beach we have VR okay just to just invest like oh just invest $1,000 it's that simple yeah just you know that government check yeah use your entire government check to buy VR and you can experience all the world uh-huh I don't think a lot of people would be happy about

Channel: AnthonyPadilla

Views: 1,183,744

Rating: 4.985517 out of 5

Keywords: anthony padilla, padilla, anthony, smosh anthony, anthony padilla smosh, i spent a day with, interview, agoraphobia, agoraphobe, agoraphobic, panic disorder, anxiety disorder, mental health

Id: JS7yXjAZrxg

Length: 24min 0sec (1440 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 29 2020