- [Narrator] Tragedy is
something that we all experience in life. And we can't control this. The only thing we can control, is how we respond to the tragedy. I'm going to share with
you two different stories. One, about a man named Ben, and another, about a man named Jeff. Let's look at our friend Ben. Ben is a 28-year-old, happy man. He works a comfortable nine to five job, he has a dog, he has a house. He has friends and
family that all love him, and he has a lovely
girlfriend who he is planning on proposing to, in the upcoming years. From the outside looking in, everything is going right in his life. The best way that I would
describe Ben's life, is the white picket fence life. Ben and his girlfriend have been dating since they were 18 years old. And he is truly in love with her. From a very early age, they would talk about
their futures together. They would talk about what kind
of wedding they would want. They would talk about the type
of house they would live in. They would talk about how
many kids they would want. And, when Ben heard this, he
wanted to provide for her. Ben wanted to give her
everything that she wanted out of life. And he was willing to do the
work in order to do this. So one week, Ben had
to leave town for work. So, he cleaned the house,
took his dog for a walk, kissed his girlfriend goodbye,
and he was on his way. Halfway through his out-of-town
work week, he learned that he could actually come
home early, if he wanted to. So Ben decided to do something
nice for his girlfriend. He decided to surprise her
with flowers and chocolate. In an attempt to be more spontaneous. Which is a quality that his
girlfriend really, really likes. And it's something that his girlfriend would wish that he did more of. So Ben drives home, and he
is walking up to the door, with flowers and chocolate in hand, excited to surprise her. He opens the door, and the
first thing that he noticed, were someone else's
shoes, were on the floor. He did not really think much of it. He figured that she had some friends over. She was, after all, a very
social, a friendly person. And because he was gone,
she might have been bored. He walked around the
downstairs of the house, looking for them. But, he didn't see anything. But he did see that there
was an open bottle of wine sitting on the kitchen counter. He went upstairs to look more,
but still, there was nothing. At this point, he was
getting a little confused. Was she even home? There was only one room
that he had not checked. And that was, the bedroom. So Ben goes up to the
door, and he opens it, still having flowers in hand. And what he saw, would haunt
him for the rest of his life. He saw the girl, that he had
been dating for 10 years, the girl, who he had said
that he was gonna marry, the girl, that he had
planned his future with. He saw this girl in bed with another man. The moment that Ben saw
this, his heart sank. And he felt his stomach turn in knots. His head began pounding. He felt physically sick. In that moment, the only words
that Ben could really muster, was, you need to leave. The next day, she packed
up all of her bags, and just like that, she was gone. The next few months would be prove to be the worst months of his life. Because he was so heartbroken, he started to perform worse at work. He stopped exercising. He stopped staying in contact
with his friends and family. He would spend his nights
in front of the TV, cursing his girlfriend's name. He would ask himself, "How
could she do this to me? "I wanted to give her everything, "I told her that I would give her "everything that she wanted. "But yet she still does this to me. "This woman ruined my life." This behavior continued over time. And it got so bad, that
Ben almost lost his job. And because he could not afford this, he did pull himself together a little bit, and he did just enough
not to lose his job. But his mind and body were
still only half there. He was never fully engaged in
anything that he was doing. He spends the next few years
doing a good enough job not to get fired. But, he was still miserable and depressed. And he kept blaming his girlfriend for the way his life was. I think at this point in the story, a lot of you are probably
thinking to yourself, yeah, that is terrible, but, this does not happen that often, and it would not happen to me. And my response to that would be, just wait until you get older. Things change a lot when
people get to the stereotypical marriage age, which would be
around 28 to 30 years old. And these types of things
are much more common later on in life. Let's look at the second story. The second story is the
same as the first story, up until the point where Ben saw that she was cheating on him. And the character of
this story is named Jeff. So when Jeff saw this,
he told her to leave. And she left the next day. And of course, Jeff was heartbroken. He cried, and didn't understand how she could do this to him. He spent the next few months
in pain, crying his life away. And cursing his girlfriend. He would ask himself similar questions. "How could she do this to me? "I wanted to give her everything." But, it's at this point when
Jeff does something different. Instead of cursing her name,
and thinking to himself how awful of a person she was,
Jeff asked himself a question that 90% of people will never ask. And he asked himself, "Did I do anything "that caused her to cheat on me?" So Jeff actually got his phone, and he called his ex-girlfriend. She was a little stunned
to hear his voice. And when Jeff asked her the question, she responded with, "Um, I don't know. "I guess I just lost attraction to you. "I'm sorry." So, instead of continuing to be depressed, Jeff made a commitment to
start working on himself. He started to try and make himself a more attractive man. A better man. Jeff started off very small. He simply started going to the
gym again on a regular basis. And he did that for a few months. Then, he started to
clean up his diet a bit. And he did that for a few months. Jeff also started to
regain focus on his job. And he started to perform better. When he felt okay about his
job, and his physical health, he even started to look up
ways to start making more money on the side. Because Jeff had always dreamed about starting his own business. When Jeff was with his girlfriend, they would cuddle up with each other, and watch Netflix in the evenings. And that's just what they
did, every single night. But now that she was gone,
Jeff had way more time to work on himself and his own business. As a result of this extra work though, he started to have some sleeping issues. So he started to look
up ways to sleep better. He started to meditate
before bed to calm his mind. He like the way meditating made him feel, so he started to meditate in the mornings. And because of this, he
became a less-stressed person. Months went by of Jeff putting
in a little bit of work every single day. And eventually he saw some results. But he still wasn't happy
with how fast it was growing, and he wanted to find
ways to grow even faster. On the weekends, he started to network, and meet other successful people. He started to pick up new
hobbies, like golfing and boxing. Jeff even met an older man
that he shared his story with. And this man could really
relate to his story. So much so, that this
man became Jeff's mentor. And he helped him grow his small business to the point where he started
to make more money from that than from his normal job. So as a result of this, Jeff actually quit his nine to five job. And, with his newfound
freedom, Jeff did something that he had always dreamed of doing, since he was a kid. Which was, moving to
Italy to study Italian. Jeff had originally given up
on his dream of doing this. Because he was in a
committed relationship, and he had a nine to five
job, he was very comfortable, and it just didn't make sense. But because his girlfriend was gone, because of his new online business, he decided to pack his bags and move to Italy for six months. So as Jeff was sipping
a beer on the beach, with his laptop in his hand, looking into the deep
ocean with the sun out, he had felt something that he had not felt in a long time. Which was happiness and gratitude. He thought back to the last
time he had felt like this. And it was when he was
with his girlfriend. And then suddenly, he had a flashback to her cheating on him. He thought to himself,
although seeing my girlfriend cheat on me like that, cut me very deep, and in a lot of ways, it broke my heart. And, in some ways, I am still not over it. But, in a way, it may
have been the best thing that could have ever happened to me. If that didn't happen to me,
I would have never started working out on a regular basis. I would have never improved my diet. I would have never had time to
start my own online business. I would have never had the
ability to come to Italy and fulfill my dream. I would have continued to work at my job, and spend my evenings watching
Netflix with my girlfriend, in my comfortable state. From that point on, Jeff
continued to live his life of trying to be better, every single day, and he never stopped working on himself. The lesson of these
two stories are simple, but it's crucial to understand. Not only will this
concept change your life, but if you don't understand it, it has the potential to ruin your life. And the concept is actually very simple. When tragedy happens in your
life, from relationships, loved ones passing, to
getting fired, it's up to you how you want to respond. If you respond like Ben, it
can be one of the worst things that could have ever happened to you. But, if you respond like Jeff, it could be one of the best things that could ever happen to you. I'm not saying you shouldn't cry, I'm not saying it's bad to let yourself experience the emotions, and to take time off, but it's important to understand that you can't spend the rest
of your life in that state. You will eventually have
to accept your reality and move on with your life. If you enjoyed this video, please be sure to leave the video a like, and of course, subscribe to the channel. Thanks for watching, and,
I'll see you in the next one. (calm piano music)
fuck bitches. get money.