I Created a Gene Stealer Cult in Rimworld

being blind violently exploding on contact with sunlight and above all else involuntarily vomiting copious amounts of rodents because today we will be attempting to survive rimworld with the worst possible genetics now I know you're thinking how bad can that really be I will answer that simply each of our colonists have a genetic complexity of 104 with absolutely no redeeming qualities can we survive or will we be relegated to Humanity's long list of genetic dead ends let's find out but first a word from our sponsor World of Tanks is an immersive tank combat game available on PC it's set in an alternate timeline where the concept of infantry was never invented but that's okay because it's actually a lot of fun and also free to play don't know what tank to use that's actually a very common problem because World of Tanks features a paralyzingly large selection of armored vehicles including Classics like the Panzer IV but there's also a wide variety of Tanks which were likely designed with the help of creativity supplements some of my favorites include the duck the Doom turtle and of course soft Richard who could be behind such experimental design uh join millions of players in massive battles that unfold over a variety of environments and strategic objectives here's a video of me absolutely annihilating someone foreign yeah I get him every time now this game is the real deal because it's all real physics-based Combat where you have to learn the strong and weak points of each tank customize your tank dominate the battlefield and most importantly trick your friends into playing Italian tanks and then Ram them off a cliff download World of Tanks using the link in the description and use code combat to get seven free days of Premium along with 250 000 credits and all of this look at that thank you World of Tanks now back to the video I started us in a temperate forest it had plenty of open space natural resources and overall a generally good vibe but none of that actually mattered because the very second that our colonists physically existed they immediately underwent a series of unplanned genetic mutations that resulted in R2 turning green corn for developing insect mandibles and best of all I manifested some kind of giant crab claw this was mildly interesting for about 24 seconds because that's exactly how long it took us to collapse from a full body third degree burns due to sun exposure R2 and cornford were facing in and out of Consciousness as a result of a mine uttering pain and I had begun vigorously vomiting all over myself except instead of stomach contents I was literally vomiting a stream of rodents because of the Rat vomit Gene As I lie on the ground arriving in the pain of having every cell in my body obliterated with UV radiation I was powerless but to watch as the dozens of rodents which I had just vomited surrounded me and began passionately mating some even Shameless enough to do so atop of my crippled carcass this made me ask myself has science gone too far no of course not that's stupid let's try again attempt 2 went substantially better because this time I didn't mutate into a half-man half crustacean freak who would have to live in fear of being hunted down by a cabal of Chinese fishmongers however I did still have to live in fear of the sun melting off all of my skin in the next 30 seconds so we tried to mine into the side of this mountain to escape unfortunately it turns out we are not very good miners it's probably because of the bad back frail body near blindness and Pig hands as you may imagine this resulted in us desperately clawing at the stone for for about 15 seconds before the sun purged us from existence with acute radiation poisoning for attempt 3 we tried to protect ourselves using his sunglasses and straw hats this was an improvement only in the sense that our corpses are now vaguely more stylish clearly I may have overestimated my abilities on this one it's time to make some concessions I will exchange lethal UV exposure for being physically disfigured and I will also exchange unstable mutations for nothing because I'd like to return some small fraction of my sanity you may think I've just gone ahead and made this challenge too easy well I'd like to remind you that we still have a genetic complexity of 96 because we are blind deaf and depressed alcoholics who have to eat to dirt and drink human blood to survive we have an obsession with starting fires a crippling fear of water and we develop a new tumor every single day so we're not exactly genetically privileged regardless it was refreshing to load up the world and watch my settlers shamble out of their drop pods without immediately being atomized by an unfavorable UV index sure the colonists were riddled with carcinoma from their major cell instability and teratogenesis but if you rearrange the letters in carcinoma you can very quickly spell macaroni and being covered in macaroni hardly sounds like a medical emergency so I just ignored it we got to work setting up some living quarters and planting some crops however our colonists are so physically wretched that they're not really able to do anything effectively and watching them try to work evokes the same feelings as watching a quadriplegic followed of their wheelchair regardless after several hours of me uncomfortably witnessing their labor we had managed to construct something vaguely resembling a house a third of a hallway and some basic Farms but around day 4 we had run into an issue the macaroni from earlier had become aggressively metastatic and it had spread to several areas in Andrea and martinson's bodies rendering them physically unable to move I used my doctor to attempt to remove the tumors but his chronic narcolepsy caused him to fall asleep in the middle of lung surgery by the time he woke up he too was unable to move because of his own rapidly expanding network of tumors the rimworld Storyteller must have felt extremely awkward watching my Colony fail this spectacularly because they sent me a man in Black in an attempt to help us out it was nice to have a colonist whose genetic code wasn't written in Comic Sans but he had a lot of work to do first order of business is surgery I've decided that our colonists can't be trusted not to develop tumors in their arms and legs so I'm just going to take their arms and legs don't worry though we'll be replacing them with pieces of scrap wood I found lying around the base I had kesuke perform the first surgery on Martinson it actually went pretty well and we managed to replace his leg with a wooden Peg effectively removing his tumor in the process inspired by this performance I moved on to replacing his right arm which didn't go so well kesuke accidentally killed Martinson which caused our pet zebra to go insane and kick him in the face resulting in his immediate death this is what we call a learning moment and what have we learned anagrams are not a responsible substitute for medical treatment zebras should not be allowed in the operating room and finally if we're going to do this we might have to play a little dirty here's the game plan we suck we're awful our bodies are factories that turn existence into suffering but what if we could find a way to transfer our suffering to other people maybe then we wouldn't have to share the same life expectancy as the main character of a live leak video turns out it might be possible by engaging in some genetic bartering we were able to accept these beneficial genes at the cost of also accepting some negative ones but it was worth it because teratogenic touch gives us the magical ability to transfer all of our tumors to another person simply by touching them assuming we can find a willing recipient this will help us fend off our cancer indefinitely finally we have xenogenic siphon which gives us the ability to steal a random Gene from another human and incorporate it into our Genome of course this is totally safe and it does not harm the donor in any way the plan is to steal enough beneficial genes to eventually evolve into something approximating a normal human being hopefully this will help us survive let's begin looking at the map we need to pick the optimal starting position our survival plan relies on stealing other people's genetics and gifting them stage four cancer so first and foremost we need people but how will we get them I'll tell you how Econo Lodge by establishing a fully functional motel with extremely low prices we will be able to attract all sorts of drifters and vagabonds to visit our Colony most of them will enjoy their stay and come back but some of them will have a slightly more memorable experience I chose this highway tile because it's positioned between three friendly settlements we're using the hotel start which gives us plenty of building materials in exchange for not having any self-defense items but let's be honest we weren't going to win that fight anyway the first thing we had to do was get naked because out of all of the negative traits we have naked Runner actually gives us a move speed bonus as long as we are totally nude following this I laid out some basic blueprints for the motel And My Gang of naked construction workers began awkwardly scurrying around and erecting our establishment after a few days it was really shaping up so I isolated Grayson in the research room where he would spend the rest of his Natural Life attempting to understand microelectronics even though he was blind deaf and probably illiterate once we finish that we'll be able to build a Tom's console to invite dozens of people to visit us but at this rate that could take a while so for the time being I settled on a bulletin board to meet our advertising needs the guest rooms were nearly finished and my extremely competitive pricing of zero dollars managed to attract our first two visitors this would make for a good soft launch of our franchise our guests wandered around the premises for a few hours and then fell asleep in a dark Warehouse which was actually very convenient because each of our colonists had about three tumors and I wanted to test out our ability to transfer them to other people I wasn't sure if this qualified as violating the non-aggression pact but I decided to just go for it We snuck up on Vivian and managed to successfully give her nine instances of carcinoma without her even noticing I almost felt bad but then I realized she coincidentally shares the exact same xenotype as us so she was kind of doomed from the start I looked at the other visitor and he actually had some pretty good genes as much as I yearned for his genetic material giving our first guest terminal cancer and outright murdering the second would probably have a negative impact on our Yelp rating so I decided to leave him alone now unburdened by the weight of several life-threatening carcinomas I set out to address our next issue self-defense at this point in our Evolution we're not capable of much however I think we can figure something out one of our genes causes us to perpetually attract a horde of rats that follow us around and as we've seen from the first attempt the rats tend to reproduce very quickly if we could find a way to train and weaponize these rodents they could serve as an Expendable guard Force to protect our Colony the days we're passing by without too much trouble Grayson was researching Otto was attempting to radicalize the local rat populace and Kyle was using his social skill to attempt to entertain the guests this boiled down to him a hideous naked man following them around while trying and failing to make small talk somehow that experience was making them uncomfortable so I aborted that portion of our Hospitality package by this point Vivian was unable to move because she had mysteriously accumulated over 20 tumors in the seven days that she had been staying here however that didn't stop her friend from leaving her behind because apparently he had a a great time and will be coming back Vivian certainly won't because not long after that she died not from the 31 tumors but because I literally forgot you have to feed human beings to keep them alive I will accept some responsibility for this in fact Vivian's untimely demise made me begin closely examining my actions from a moral perspective and overall I was very satisfied you see when your genetic code looks like the prototype for Lou Gehrig's Disease you feel a certain indignance regarding your place in the world but more specifically I felt extremely bitter towards the healthy people people whose bodies weren't actively trying to complete some kind of unauthorized suicide pact it's all very unfair and I yearn for genetic Equity so in a stunning example of art imitating art I decided to model my motel business after the gene stealer Cults of Warhammer 40K we would slowly assimilate the local populace into our ranks and once the time is right we will strike out against the genetic upper class wiping them off the face of the Earth and achieving a truly just society and we already have our first collab operator because we've just been attacked by a wild Maniac they probably took one look at our horribly emaciated colonists and thought we'd be an easy target but little did they know we have been secretly cultivating an army of man-eating rats in reality we only have two rats but they distracted the Raider just long enough for one of my colonists to sneak up and stab him in the kidney it is now time to play the genetic Lottery by violently extracting one of his genes we got super immunity which is pretty good but our chromosome piracy clearly upset the Raider because he initiated a hunger strike he also stopped breathing and moving completely clearly he's a very principled man when it comes to piracy and I respect that so I allowed him to continue his moral grandstanding at the bottom of this shallow grave following this we constructed a firewall to protect the motel had a few mental breakdowns yo-yoed between hypothermia and heat stroke and finally we finished the week by rescuing a prostitute from a psychotic Yorkshire Terrier overall a very good start and the reputation of rimworld Econo Lodge seemed to be spreading because we received our next batch of visitors six of them in fact and some of them even paid for their rooms amazing I decided that one in six visitors dying was an acceptable statistic to be associated with so I had one of my colonists brandish a knife and sneak into a guest's room while they were asleep we used our Gene siphon to grab a random trait we got low sleep which might not seem great but it actually overrides an even worse genius so overall it's an improvement slowly but steadily we are building a ladder of corpses and climbing it straight to genetic Supremacy honestly I'm not sure what's worse having your chromosomes ripped out of your body while you sleep resulting in your immediate death or actually living and having to stay at my motel for an entire week because as you stumble through the dark and narrow hallways in search of even the most basic form of recreation you will find only two things one a cataclysmic infestation of rats that permeate every orifice of the motel and two you will find my hideous and naked colonists erratically darting around in the shadows trying to get close enough to touch you so they can covertly bestow you with terminal cancer paradoxically you're only reprieve from this living hell is when the motel is attacked by homicidal Maniacs who if you are lucky will complete a mercy killing on you with the nearest blunt object unfortunately for you my militant collection of rats is always ready to defend the base speaking of we were attacked again but this time we had about seven trained rats which swarmed the Raider and incapacitated them with an assortment of bites and scratches normally I'd attempt to Gene rip this guy but he's a baseliner which makes him stupid and boring so instead we'll just arrest him for later use now our deployment of the Rat Defense Force was technically a success but the Raider was able to kill about four of them and that just seemed kind of wasteful so I decided to open a restaurant attached to the top of the motel which will be selling meals made exclusively from dead rats um of course our guests don't know that but regardless this is a nice way to make a little extra money it was now day 20 and despite the best efforts of our chronically disabled researcher we were still a long ways from understanding microelectronics so I decided to host a little parody where I locked everyone in a room without food or water until they could properly articulate how semiconductors work normally this is an effective way to produce three dead bodies but in this case it actually worked after building the comms console I began advertising rimworld Econo Lodge to all nearby civilizations by inviting them for a free stay this means more people and more people means more genes which will hopefully translate to less violent outbursts as a result of being genetically depressed we now had a semi-steady stream of visitors at our motel and we slowly started picking them off for their delicious chromosomes some notable Acquisitions included fast runner Dead Calm and long jump legs needless to say the cult is evolving just as things were starting to look up for us I was notified there was a giant space battle taking place directly above my motel and I should be aware of stray plasma blasts and falling debris oh yeah this this is great as if the one in six chance of being violently assassinated wasn't exciting enough my guests can now Edge themselves to the thought of a chunk of space debris flattening them at any given moment all in all we survived the bombardment but the forest did not as a man who built his entire Motel out of drywall and asbestos the size of this forest fire was mildly concerning but we got lucky because some kid wanted to join the colony and of course I accepted originally I was just going to murder him for his jeans but it turns out he's some kind of embryonic furry so instead I just assigned him to menial labor such as fighting forest fires scrubbing blood out of the bed sheets and of course digging fresh Graves for our more indefinite Visitors by this point most of our basic needs have been satisfied we are slowly improving our genetics the base is relatively safe and we have an abundance of raw steel which is the only source of nutrition my colonists will eat the only missing component was hemogen we need it and surprisingly the motel guests aren't open to the concept of sharing that's where this bad boy comes in a giant vat of Goo that passively sucks the hemogen out of a human body and delivers it in a nice little sippy pouch for my colonists the only issue was acquiring the advanced components to craft it fortunately I was able to convince a random tribesperson to go explore the ancient danger where he found everything we would need his leg was blown off in the process but we got the component and that's all that matters alright let's test this out Josephine I really hope you haven't become too accustomed to being alive because you are going in the vat this portion of your stay at rimworld Econo Lodge is strictly non-negotiable around this point I was starting to become worried about the state of our military raid Difficulty was increasing faster than our population of rats and my prediction was that soon we would all be dead a sane individual would have tried to solve this problem by building Auto turrets but me I wanted to double down on the rats I decided to leverage our weak stomachs in combination with the rat vomit Gene as a way of achieving rodent hyperinflation by feeding Kyle a strict diet of nothing but raw meat and beer we could ensure a nearby Perpetual state of vomiting and as a result an endless supply of rats before long we had accumulated over 30. normally this would be difficult to manage but we found a side trainer in the ancient tomb which helped Auto improve his animal status such that he could kind of vaguely exercise some control over the skaven clan that was now inhabiting our base the next step in our plan to subvert the healthy people unsurprisingly involves a lot of explosives we had accumulated a few Drifters from random events and naturally I put them to work in sweatshops producing industrial amounts of chem fuel if anyone asks this is strictly for the drop pods we are building and nothing else speaking of drop pods they will be the key ingredient in manipulating the population you see we've been killing a few people and our genes are improving we even managed to steal this guy's entire racial identity and that was two percent African so I am legally allowed to say the word but slaughtering the innocent is not very good for PR and eventually the nearby factions will realize that rimworld Econo Lodge has a homicide problem and they'll stop sending us visitors however I would like to introduce the concept of bribery by loading up a drop pod with beer and sending it to a faction HQ we can manipulate them into liking us and sending us more visitors which we will invariably Massacre what is a human life worth about 28 beer as it turns out and when we have alcohol shortages I can just mail them back the estate of the deceased visitors and that works pretty good too we can even slowly convince our natural enemies to Like Us by inundating them with obscene amounts of alcohol everyone is my friend and my love language is acts of violence at this point we settled into a steady rhythm of abducting people mass-producing rats and of course entering fits of inconsolable sobbing over the next 25 days our manipulation tactics allowed us to accumulate an impressive collection of genetics the only thing that was really slowing us down was whenever it would rain all of my colonists would become catatonic because of their crippling fear of water despite this we were becoming something more than human like Superman if he was blind and psychotic I found the key to this was exploiting The Villages which had a higher chance of spawning villagers with custom xenotypes because that means there's a chance of one of our visitors having genetics like this holy [ __ ] people with genetics this good get the VIP package which is three weeks of solitary confinement interrupted only by periodic visits to the gene extractor this whole experience was beginning to feel like a drug-induced expression of abstract art and the problem with art is that sometimes it's not clear when it's complete are we ready now to overthrow Humanity probably not but Otto can run at 30 kilometers an hour temporarily turn his skin to steel and best of all he can telepathically cause people to go insane so I'm just gonna give it a shot the game plan is simple we have five things going for us lots of rats weird genetic Abominations a surplus of jet fuel and these two bad boys I found these in the ancient Danger from earlier one of them will teleport us and 1200 pounds of supplies anywhere on the map and after we teleport we will activate the other one to instantly turn all animals on the map into manhunters I uh I don't know if we'll survive this but it should be fun I attempted to gather some weapons for the attack we should have a bunch left over from the does thousands of people we killed but I had a hard time finding anything originally I thought I just accidentally sold them but upon reviewing the footage I realized my [ __ ] weirdo colonists were literally eating the bolt action rifles Jesus Christ get me out of here okay so I just grabbed whatever I could find and set out we activated the teleporter and chose this settlement why because I wanted to prove a point that no one is safe from the genetic Uprising even if they've isolated themselves on some piece of [ __ ] Island to 4 000 kilometers off the coast we arrived and so did our 65 rats and one thousand pounds of explosive barrels the battle was on and the first casualty was my frame rate things quickly devolved into a gruesome melee our foes were technologically superior but 65 rats is a pretty good equalizer I had Otto hardened his skin and take up a strategic position with the shotgun he was of course still blind so the efficacy of this tactic was questionable at best Kyle was fundamentally incapable of violence so instead I had him activate the animal transmitter which immediately turned about 25 different animals into bloodthirsty killing machines that were now headed straight for the base following this I used his healing abilities to try to patch up our soldiers and when he was out of cooldowns I ran him straight into the enemy to use his acidic detonation ability that was the end of Kyle Grayson used his genetic superpowers to summon a singular ostrich that's actually all Grayson can do he didn't get very lucky with the genes our rats were slowly gnawing their way through the heavy armor of our opponents but the kill feed was starting to look like this and our numerical Advantage was quickly fading as I was watching the melee unfold someone snuck up on Grayson and shot him in the mouth I retaliated by forcing them to become violently insane and attack their friends which was fun to watch but the writing was on the wall we took down a few more soldiers before Otto was surrounded and incapacitated if there was any Silver Lining to this it's that he won't have to be a part of what happens next because raid on time the Cavalry had arrived nine man-eating muffalos 10 clinically insane deer and an assortment of other violent creatures washed upon the enemy base it was Carnage men being eaten alive by raccoons Auto turrets mag dumping on Boom rats and a herd of charging muffalo absolutely annihilating some [ __ ] with a sword I personally witnessed this Mega sloth absorb about 400 pounds of lead and let me tell you it was a sight to behold but at the end of the day it was man who was the apex predator in the face of a defeat such as this it's tempting to think our battle was all for naught meaningless even but that's wrong because on this day three Brave employees of rimworld Econo Lodge stood up to their oppressors and shot a pressurized stream of acid directly into their eyes and the energy of that exact moment can never be destroyed because it will live on eternally in the hearts of the deontrodden I want to thank this month's patrons for supporting the channel thank you for watching and finally thank you to World of Tanks download the game with the link in the description to receive 7 Days premium access 250 000 silver and all of this [Music] I'm not bad

Channel: Reggie

Views: 1,998,191

Keywords: rimworld, lets play rimworld, reggie, rimworld gameplay, rimworld challenge, rimworld mods, rimworld biotech, rimworld genes, i created a gene stealer cult in rimworld, genestealer, cult, rimworld funny, rimworld narrative

Id: uu11aW4QJE4

Length: 22min 55sec (1375 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 25 2023