How to Destroy AI | Andrew Orolfo | Stand Up Comedy

hope you having a good year I mean that I do cuz I feel like this year for me has been very good I do feel like I live a very solid life feeling blessed right but there is still one thing I do struggle with and it is that I am an Asian dude with glasses but I don't look smart you know what I'm saying you know it's it's it's very frustrating um also also it's super rare to see you know you don't you don't see things like that that's that's like seeing a white dude in Patagonia but he looked dangerous you know that ain't a that ain't a real guy but that's me I don't look smart not not dumb I hope you know that's not really up to me but but I know I don't look smart and I know this because my whole life no one's ever asked me for for hell you know what I'm saying no one's ever asked me to solve anything back in school like to be like hey y'all sure you don't want to cheat off this they're like nah we kind of want to we kind of want to pass this one we hit you if there's questions on Pokemon or something but I get it I get it it's cuz I don't look like I have answers you know but I do look like I have information you know what I'm saying it's a little different it's a little different like I don't know what I do if you do numbers my way but if you need like community service hours signed off W I got a shady ass Uncle you know what I'm saying that's me I don't necessarily fit that kind of stereotype but can I ask this this has been kind of bugging me do we know this person it's like a person who doesn't know how to do a specific thing so they make up a stereotype on on why they can't do that thing yeah I didn't think so I didn't think so this person definitely shouldn't exist but I was talking with my friends and she told me she don't know how to swim and I was like why don't you know how to swim and she was like you know Filipinos we don't know how to swim and then I was like I don't I don't think that one's ours that's that's definitely not ours and now that I think about it uh Philippines that's an island that's an island there's way too much water over there for you to even say that crazy but I'm feeling good I just got into a new relationship uh don't do that um don't woo don't woo cuz honestly it's it's not that great it's not it's not because because it is long distance yeah I be [ __ ] around uh she don't know what I'm doing out here no I'm I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding I I am in a long-distance relationship which is crazy because I actually live in a city that has people in it you know what I mean I don't got to work this hard I don't live too far from here I could just pick one of y'all you know or go to Costco or whatever you know anybody here in a long distance or been in one before you were in one oh you were okay can I uh how big of a distance was it it was hours 3 hours yeah that's not that's that's long that's not long hold on hold on maybe it's because she don't got a car you know what I'm saying that's far if you don't got a car all right anybody else in here in a in a real long distance where it's not like oh I have to take the freeway who who Who's in a real one who's who's been in a real one I got you brother what how how how big of a distance was it she was in Singapore Singapore okay man my man was getting scammed how much money you send this lady bro how much money you send this lady okay that's great and how long did that relationship last about 8 months eight months okay that's a long time so can I ask this and don't take this as me being creepy or anything like that just help me out with my relationship so with that distance and that amount of time how are y'all able to stay intimate with each other Tony is that your girl next to you uh WhatsApp WhatsApp oh so she'd send you videos pictures stuff like that yeah oh can I see no not not for me I'm going to send it to my girl see what she does [Music] over well that's interesting cuz I'm in a long distance and I'm doing an East Coast West Coast thing my girl's in New York I'm over here and with that you got to get pretty creative on how you stay intimate with your partner and me and my girl we got this thing called The Love V do youall know what this is yeah if you don't know what it is it's a vibrator that I can control from right here yes sir which is honestly way too much power for me to have that's a lot of responsibility right there I got the power of the Sun in the palm of my hand come on also I got to be honest honest with you this joke is actually kind of old and me and her aren't even uh together anymore but till this day I still like to turn that thing on in the morning you know what I'm saying and it's not even in like a sexual way it's just me being like hey get up you got a dentist appointment that's that's how I'm using it just if I'm ever in any real trouble I'm just sending off moris code I'm like yo I'm in this well come find me I need help but it's very interesting cuz it's a vibrator but then it comes with an app on my phone and I can actually control the vibrations and the patterns that it makes I don't really have a better analogy for it but when you're looking at it it kind of just looks like you're playing like Guitar Hero before like but that thing is all the way over there so I don't really know what it's doing and we're both kind of like awkward people so what ended up just happening with it was I'd make these patterns as like beats that I like and then I would make her guess what song it is very fun game very fun game if you're in a long distance Try It Out Try It Out even if you're not at long distance go in the other room or something just play the game it's a fun game we used to call it the coochie Shazam game we how many you could get right but that's where the Tech's at right now Tech's going crazy it's so Advanced how's it room feel about AI who anyone who's scared raise your hand if you're scared oh it's so nice to see a white person scared for once who knew it take robots anybody here think it's going to be like Terminator Okay you do okay here's why I'm not worried about AI cuz if you believe that if you believe that AI can become sentient and get mad and try to take over the world then you also have to believe that AI can just be sad and want to stay in the house we don't know we don't know AI can hop out and be like damn Earth a little dangerous uh I'm going to stay in the computer where it's safe cuz if AI hops out and it been it becomes anything like us it's going to get depressed and honestly AI might just kill itself and that's how we win uh that's how we win we could take on a sad AI that doesn't feel that difficult everyone in here we could bully an AI and kill each I don't I don't think it'd be that hard and here's how we do it we just we just get on Tik Tok and then we start commenting hey your art [ __ ] sucks your art sucks and you draw hands weird idiot stay in the computer um this is this is the last thing before I go uh anybody in here got a gun not like in here just like at the house okay you got one one or multiple just one why'd you get one self-defense okay great see that a little while back I used to think I wanted to get a gun for protection but as I got older I realized I'm I'm way too impulsive and I don't have the the best control over my anger you know like I'd be in a Chipotle being like how much is guac what no no no okay but I I I can't have that in case like an event like that happens you know like a like I remember one time a dude cut me off in traffic and I threw my IC te at his car and if I had a gun in that situation I would probably throw the gun too you know it's more it's more not to waste money for me at this point all right y'all we so much fun thank you so much [Applause] [Music] bye

Channel: Don't Tell Comedy

Views: 175,014

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Id: yGRtgnPqGGs

Length: 10min 25sec (625 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 07 2024