how to: BE HAPPY SINGLE!

how to be single drink water [Music] hey guys and welcome back to my channel hope you guys are doing well so from now on I'm allowing you guys to choose my topics okay so I put on Instagram last week what topic shall I talk about this week so you guys chose how to be happy single if you're not following me on Instagram follow me on Instagram check out my stories always look at my stories because I'm always talking to you guys about something and so let's get straight into this video so before we start I am all about definitions so what does it actually mean to be single so I read in the Oxford Dictionary that to be single means to be individual did you get that so a single is an individual and I want you guys to know like I told you last year you are not a half waiting for your other half to appear you are already whole and to be single does not mean to be in complete it just means to be separate big difference and so the first thing I want us to understand about how to be happy single is perspective is everything when you replace why is this happening to me with what it is trying to teach me everything shifts when you start to say why am i single or why am I still single or why did my boyfriend break up with me or why did my husband divorce me you are asking disempowering questions it's disempowering because it's something we have no control over and when we feel like we have no control over something we feel powerless so in order to get your power back you need to focus on the questions you can control for instance what have I learned in this season of singleness what has been singled this length of time taught me about myself and about relationships what did my last relationship teach me that I fail to see at the beginning what were the wrong ideas I had about marriage before entering it these types of questions put the responsibility back on you and not on other people sometimes we focus all way too much on what others have done or what they haven't done and guess what we become we become blamers and we become Seamus and so the most grown-up thing we can do right now is to take full responsibility for where we are now control the things you can control you can either choose to be sad that you're single or choose to be happy that you're single and the only person that can make that choice for you is you the reason why you feel sad is because you want to feel sad yes you do guess who is in control of your emotions you are okay you don't believe I can feel it you don't believe me you don't believe me there okay let's try this and you've got to do it if you feel sad right now you've got to do this okay wherever you are sit up straight put your head back and smile we have your whole team smile yes I said smile with your whole teeth smile okay now love I don't care if you have to fake it love a real belly love love all right stop do you still feel sad don't think about it feel what your body feels right now I can guarantee you your body wants to feel happy but it's your mind that is holding you back and I did that experiment because I need you guys to understand how you feel is a hundred percent linked to what you are thinking about so if you're sitting there scrolling through Instagram scrolling through Facebook and looking at all these happy couples and thinking to yourself about how ugly how unappreciated how unloved how overlooked you are I guarantee you you are going to feel sad on the other hand if you take your behind go out for a walk go buy a playground watch and listen to the kids play or if you go get your favorite snack and watch one of your favorite shows I guarantee you your whole zone will change I just want you guys to know and to believe that you are in complete control of your emotions and you are completely responsible for your own happiness stop looking outside when you lock the key so like I said perspective is everything the most successful people in this world have the right mindset and I'm gonna keep on saying it it all starts with the mind as a man thinks so is he second tip on how to be happy single commit to working on yourself and yes that includes looking after your body going to the gym working out getting your hair done getting your nails done however these are all temporary investments I am talking about working on your real self and let me be clear on this point because this is one of the mistakes that I made when I was first starting out you are not working on yourself to get a man you are working on yourself or you be you do you or you my goal every time I wake up in the morning is how can I be the best version of myself working on yourself is a long lifetime process okay I've been working on myself for about 11 years okay so I do have some miles on me right however I still have a long way to go but the main thing is and I want to encourage you guys today to start now to start right now in this moment so the first thing you should do to work on yourself is to know yourself and if you forget anything and every single thing that I ever say remember this one thing identity is paramount you must must must know your self you must know your self many women are out here running around looking for a man when they should be looking for themselves listen to me you are not a wife you are not a mother you are not a sister you are not a lawyer a teacher a doctor a nurse these are all positions these are not your identity and I don't care if you are religious or not this is a fact you are a child of God God's beautiful and wonderful creation God's prized possession a work or pure value moi Melissa Lima this is who you are on the inside this is intrinsically now your personality your likes and your dislikes are all extrinsic but you need to know them have you ever sat that's my grandma out there great timing but have you ever sat down and asked yourself what do I like what is brainy like what do I like and to be honest most of us haven't we kind of just go through life on autopilot not realizing that what we think we like has been influenced by so many people has been influenced by our parents has been influenced by our teachers has been influenced by our friends has been influenced by the media but have you ever asked yourself what do I actually like this is the star of knowing your self because when you know yourself you are able to cater to yourself better no longer will you keep giving yourself cheesecake when you prefer chocolate cake I don't know how you guys eat cheesecake but if you know for me dog and that's why a lot of you guys are sick because you keep giving yourself what you don't want whether that be men friendships jobs career choices you keep giving yourself what you do not want who told you you need to have that job who told you you are supposed to be a lawyer do you even like it that's one other video I digress well honestly some of you guys are literally sick and tired that will all change when you start to know yourself when you start to cater to your own needs number two how to work on yourself learn how to love yourself like I mentioned in my last video the reason why you do not love yourself is because you do not like yourself and the reason you do not like yourself is because you judge yourself and let me get this clear and let me get this straight loving yourself is not liking every single thing about yourself okay I can love myself but not like how my ears stick out I can love myself but not like my no blinis I can love myself but not like my attitude problem I can love myself and still to lose weight so what is love what is love I like to use a Bible as a reference and so it says love is kind are you kind to yourself love is patient are you patient with yourself love is not easily angered you get angry of yourself like all the time love keeps no records of wrongs do you constantly hold yourself hostage to past mistakes won't suddenly beat yourself up about it that's not love baby girl love protects do you protect yourself you protect yourself by not putting yourself in harm's way by not putting yourself in toxic relationships where you can be abused are you protecting yourself are you protecting yourself by not compromising your values and your moral codes just to say you have a man are you loving yourself so to love yourself you need to be kind to yourself need to be patient with yourself you need to stop holding yourself hostage to past mistakes and let it go receive God's forgiveness so you can forgive yourself to love yourself is to protect yourself to God your heart stop putting yourself in bad relationships stop putting other people's feelings above your own and I don't know who needs to hear this but your feelings and matter your feelings matter how someone makes you feel matters okay do not ignore it do not ignore it you will be ignoring yourself so that is how you love yourself ladies and gentlemen it's not about getting back massages and putting cucumbers in your eyes even though that is great from time to time that is a form of bodily care and we all need that however loving yourself is so much more deeper how are you protecting your most precious asset your soul how are you protecting your soul so I encourage you love yourself check in with yourself daily talk to yourself journal if you don't like talking to yourself journal your thoughts be kind be gentle and be patient with yourself nobody's perfect we all make mistakes okay we all get it wrong from time to time it's okay so stop judging yourself and can I just say that some of the most judgmental people in this world judge themselves ten thousand times more than they're judging you their standard for themself is yay high and so dare stand for you is yay high too but come on guys let's love ourselves we are all we have and we are all we'll ever have when it comes down to it people can come people can go but how you treat yourself and how you protect yourself and how you love yourself is the only thing that's gonna remain and number three on how to commit to working on yourself enjoy yourself you know when you start dating a guy it's so much fun you guys are hanging out all the time you guys are going on dates you guys are spending time together you guys are Chilean you guys enjoy each other's company this is what you need to do but with yourself you have to begin to enjoy yourself and get comfortable in your own presence so take yourself out to the movies take yourself out to eat which is like my favorite because ya know your girl likes the e and to eat eat my watch headings for you guys and I know some of you guys news already but I challenge those of you who do not date yourself book a nice fancy restaurant jump in a bar or a via fan you can use my code here and it will give you 15 pound credit and arrive literally you will cost you 3 pounds ok via fan is like a cheapest moobot out there so use my code a little proud for me yeah order an uber or a via fair so you don't have to drive yourself or get on public transport and date yourself put on your fancy dress put on your freakin dress and go and enjoy being catered to no it's not weird no it's not strange when you actually love yourself and you become comfortable in your presence it's honestly the best date ever you can do whatever you want ok you don't have to worry about people saying I'll put your phone down we're eating you can send your phone you can read a book you can do whatever makes you feel good in that moment don't think you look stupid you're doing great sweetie so to round up perspective and working on yourself the third and final point that I want to make the old good quality connection whether that be friendships whether that be family whether that be work-related business Church mentorship build good quality relationships okay even though I talk about I a lot or you a lot no man is an iron we all need each other and I promise you having good connections a firm group of friends having someone that you can talk to will make your single season go by so smoothly honestly you won't even realize that you don't have a man because you will be so filled with love or genuine support you won't feel alone and you won't feel overlooked so if you're a type to isolate yourself or you don't feel like you have any good friends I challenge you to make some to he who wants to have friends must first show himself friendly or in this case to she who wants to make friends must first show herself friendly and I can tell you when your perspective shifts when you get to know yourself and to love yourself you will start to attract good quality friendship good quality connections it all starts with you the people that you begin to attract into your life will be healthy whole people who will respect you because you respect yourself who will love you because you love yourself you will celebrate you because you already celebrate yourself and maybe just maybe in building those quality connections your prints may just be around that circle and he would have studied you from afar he would have seen how you move seeing how you move a room with your presence seeing how you invest in yourself seeing how you chase your dreams seeing how you value and cherish those who are around you look after people he'll be able to see your nature he'll be able to see this woman that you are evolving into he will see how you're so open-minded because you've taken a triumph to travel and to experience different cultures and to get fully immersed in the big wide world we live in and he will sit back and think damn how can I help to elevate that how can I help to take that to another level how can I be a Russell Wilson in her life I forgot you made one Russell Wilson wetter oh my god he's such a sweetheart oh my god but this guy will sit back and he'll yet Wow what a good quality woman see you will become an asset to that guy and not a liability see when you are unsure of yourself when you have a negative mindset you become a liability even if a good man wanted to be with you you will sabotage it you will ruin it because because you do not feel worthy but that type of man you think why does he want me you will Michelle Williams that relationship okay you will sabotage it because you're thinking how can he love me but when you know yourself when you become that quality woman you will know you deserve a man like that not in an arrogant way you'll just know that I deserve a man like this and he deserves me you will feel worthy of a good man so I just want to encourage you guys okay this season you are in this season that we are in the minutes of y'all is a great season you are free to be 100% yourself with no responsibilities you are free to travel as and when you want to you are free to set goals and to smash those goals do not waste this season wishing for another season because maybe just maybe when you get the man that you so desire and a man that you want you may just be wishing that he could just back off a little bit so that you can do you so know do you right now do you right this moment when you can when you're free to enjoy being single in joy there's a big wide world out there when you understand that you know that you are not a half waiting for your other half to appear you already whole you're working on yourself mind body and soul you can enjoy this season with a glass of wine so here's to be in single Cheers you

Channel: Breeny Lee

Views: 674,996

Rating: 4.9789052 out of 5

Keywords: BREENYlee, happy single, how to be happy single, singleness, pepp talk

Id: hMOPCvTM0o8

Length: 18min 14sec (1094 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 17 2019