how to: RAISE YOUR SELF ESTEEM!

hey guys and welcome back to my channel hope you guys are doing Wow now in today's video we're going to be talking about a topic that you guys have asked me for for the longest Wow and that topic is self-esteem and identity well before I start with that I've got something to show you I love a good bargain and I know you definitely do too today I'm teaming up with Letty shops to give you back up to 30% of expenses on your online purchases yes they'll give you back real money for making the purchase you're basically getting paid too short lady shops partners with more than 2,000 retailers in different categories of goods and services pretty little thing whoo-hoo even Aliexpress Walmart BestBuy Macy's Groupon etc you can shop little shops via the mobile app all your browsers so sign up is super easy I just use my Google X to register choose a shop you will shop at today I'm shopping that PLT cause I saw really cute t-shirt like we learn to buy also for all Google Chrome users you can 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estimate I'll say that again self esteem is yourself estimate how do you rate yourself and the problem with a lot of us is that we are waiting for other people to rate us to validate us because we don't actually rate and validate ourselves external validation without an internal validation will make you hollow picture and easter-egg from the outside it looks solid but it only takes one bite of the egg to read there is nothing inside and that is the issue of a lot of people today even those people who seem to be confident let's take celebrities for instance it have been so propped up by outside external that if they're not careful to build an internal sense of self an internal sense of self-worth by way of internal affirmations their whole empire can come tumbling down by one criticism and the problem is is that when your house is made of glass you're going to have to try and protect that with all of your might these people are usually the most defensive people they cannot take criticism even if it's constructive they can't take it because it threatens they're very fragile sense of self and there are many reasons why we could have a fragile sense of self and I think for me personally I feel like a lot of it is tied back to my childhood and not being affirmed when I was a child and a lack of affirmation leads to a lack of identity when you affirm someone when you affirm a child you're basically implementing in them a sense of identity a sense of security within themselves which is why it's so important for parents to speak words of life into their children don't call them dumb don't call them stupid even if they're misbehaving be careful of the words that you speak when speaking to your children and I guess I tell this story all the time my dad was absent from the age of three my mom emotionally neglected me no four other own she just had her hands full on top of my father not being physically present on top of being emotionally neglected by my mother I was also taunted and looked down upon by my older sisters a lot of teasing went on based on my physical appearance so I was very very insecure and sometimes your parents don't even have to speak negative words to you the lack of saying anything also creates a void in that child that they're gonna try and feel some way somehow so after that I felt really alone and very isolated in the world I was too young to know who I was for myself so I kind of went out into the world to seek often identity I got affirmation from the only thing I knew men wanted and that was my body I didn't know who I was or one thing I did know every guy that I met wanted a piece of my body so I found my identity in that I found my identity in my body so in essence I traded my body for what I really needed which was affirmation attention and love so my self-esteem would go up when I met a guy and go down when he left and I will go into my story in a lot more detail in the course I am created so remember to hit the link in the description box and sign up to my waiting list and like I said that's why parents if you are listening future parents it's very very important that you affirm in your children who they are especially a young age before the world gets a hold of them and tells them who they are and I think it's too many times we look to other people to tell us who we are but how can they when they never made us the Samsun have the power to tell Apple what to name their products and Sony make this washers trying to find your Worth and your value in people places things career success is a dead end none of these things within themselves can give you self-esteem in most cases they have the power to do the actual opposite they have the ability to chip away at any sense of esteem that they may have attempted to give you you cannot place your identity in something that is temporary you can't place your hope in something that is always moving always changing unstable and shakable so why is self-esteem so important and how can we build it from the ground up the self-esteem is extremely important because it influences your self-image and how you see yourself affects every area of your life believe me it's a fact it affects the choices that you make in life when you don't feel like you're worth anything you will make or choices it affects the people that you attract into your life do you struggle with making and keeping solid friendships take a look at how you're viewing yourself maybe your lens is skewed it affects your romantic relationships you were trapped into your life what you think you're worth or what you think you deserve when you have a low self-esteem you will settle for someone that cheats on you repeatedly because you don't think you can do any better your of estimate is that low you think that's all you deserve some people don't even believe that they deserve a good man and that's when I'm a video but your self-esteem how you view yourself sets the dial of your life it sets the temperature of your life and this topic of self-esteem and self-worth is a topic that I'm super super super super passionate about from day doc because I know how it influenced and changed my life and that's why I want to help you guys I want to help you in a course I'm creating I want to take you back into the past ring you way into the future and tear down some of the lies that you have believed about yourself they stopping you from moving forward in your life that's why I want to be your life coach and I want to show you who you really really are so the description box the link click Subscribe but I will give you the first tip or one of the clues in building your self-esteem from the ground up your self tool you've got to become self-aware of the conversation that you are having with yourself you've got a star auxin yourself these questions why am i believing the things I'm believing where did these words and beliefs come from who told me that this was true who told me that this is who I was who told me this is what I deserve who told me this is who I am you have to identify them as lies and begin the process of tearing them down one by one and replacing them with new truths you will be surprised how many conversations we have with ourselves on a daily basis our voice is usually the strongest and the loudest voice in our life and probably the most consistent and if this voice is negative you are going to have terrible self-esteem and an incredibly low sense of self-worth and is one of my favorite African proverbs if there's no enemy within the enemy with vow and do you no harm what do enemies do enemies exploit our weaknesses and use them against us isn't that what we do to ourselves sometimes when I look back on my journey I am reminded of how negative I used to speak to myself I internalized the negative words spoken over me as a child and started to repeat those words back to myself as if I was the one who said it when I was by myself I was my worst pratik I felt that if I said it first to myself then nobody else would have the power to actually hurt me by saying it themselves it was almost like a negative self-defense kind of like I'll break my arm first so that you don't break it like it's really twisted it's like when somebody hates you and then now you internalize that hate because you've got to do something with it say sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me and that is a lie words may not cause physical pain they always cause emotional pain and I held on to those words and I started to say it back to myself one of my favorite quotes was I cannot do anything right because when I was younger I was constantly in kicked on for my lack of competence and it wasn't that I couldn't do things right it was one I was dyslexic and this praxic which actually affects my coordination and once I started to realize these things when you slow down you won't make mistakes that was a new truth that I had to cancel that lie that I can't do anything right but back then when I wasn't aware I second-guess myself all the time it's like in life I took two steps forward and six steps back all the time I was constantly moving forward moving back moving forward moving back second-guessing myself not sure about myself at all but I just thank God I am not in that place anymore whenever I think back there I cringe like oh my god so negative and a lot of us we don't like spending time with ourselves because who want to be around someone that speaks so negatively about yourself right we have two voices we have this voice that comes out and this voice that stays in and I want to first encourage you guys to become aware of the voices that are in your head don't try to run away with it or drown it out with music or drown it out with busyness so drown it out with alcohol don't distract from it by entering a new relationship that you know you have no business being in just stop and listen what is that voice trying to communicate to you when you actually finally stop and listen to it it should indicate to you an area of healing an area that needs to be healed do not run away from it face it when you become still and have the power to overlook the perceived threat that fear that comes out that jumps up and says no they look at me go away no cover cover cover cover that fear once you're able to have the courage look past that you will realize that is trying to indicate to you the area that needs work and that's why I'll continue to make these videos I want to bring you guys to a place of healing a place of self-awareness a place of self-reflection and that is why I'm creating this course to go deeper there's only so much I can talk about to a wide audience I want to get deeper and I want to get more personal with you so if you've already put your email address down for the mailing list please keep our watch out on your emails I will be in touch shortly so I hope you guys enjoy this video please give it a thumbs up share with anyone that you may feel it needs to hear this I may follow this video with a part two but until then stay blessed stay safe love you guys [Music] [Music] [Music]

Channel: Breeny Lee

Views: 309,206

Rating: 4.9804454 out of 5

Keywords: BREENYLEE, PEPP TALK, SELF ESTEEM, LOW SELF ESTEEM, HOW TO LOVE MYSLEF, SELF HELP, LIFE COACHES UK, BEST LIFE COACH IN UK, LONDON LIFE COACH, RAISE SELF ESTEEM, JAY SHETTY, IYANLA VANZANT, OWN NETWORK, OPRAH WINFREY

Id: Lne1VNQc-JE

Length: 12min 15sec (735 seconds)

Published: Sun May 31 2020