HOW TO GET OVER YOUR EX: STOP GOING BACK!

hey guys and welcome back to my channel and another series of soul surgery this is definitely not the topic dye plan to talk about but a topic that I really feel pressed on my heart that I must delve into and kind of just resolve that whole inner inner beliefs about relationships but I don't know everything there is to know what I do know and what I have observed I hope to share with you guys you have so much intrinsic value and I just hope I'll be able to help you guys see it in this new series of soul surgery with that said today I'm going to be talking about how to get over your ex but you can't fix what you can't see it's the soul that needs a surgery I'm in it with you guys if you guys are trying to get over an ex boyfriend someone that you were seeing someone that you was dating someone that you invested so much of your self into it really hurts so much when you break up because you become vulnerable you've let your guard down and you've allowed somebody into your soul and so when they leave they still leave with parts of you but it's not all bad you can get over your ex breakups are a process right you don't magically just get over it and I used to be a person that was just like cold turkey just you're done you're finished cut I was that girl that was just like you're done goodbye until I met the guy breakups have layers it's not just boom boom boom which leads me on to my first tip one of the first things you need to do in getting over your ex is make a decision to get all over them I'm here to decide within yourselves that I'm tired of going mine in circles I'm tired of flip-flopping I'm in and I'm out on ending them out with Jen we're not together we're in this awkward space we're in a situation [ __ ] it's not healthy right it's not healthy to be double-minded you need to be sober-minded and make a decision I'm not saying it's easy but you have to make a decision even if you make a decision you go back on it which is not the goal but sometimes I have I can actually like if you guys greens for that but once you make a decision you now have triggered some work in your mind that says I'm not being loyal to myself because I made the decision but now I'm going back on it and sometimes it can be a really painful place to be at because being not to trust yourself the second tip is get closure closure for me is something that is really really important I feel like I'm like a piper person that if I was to end the friendship with somebody I would be like we need to see face-to-face meetings now absolutely for more this is a reason why I already did not work how X Y & Z I hope you have a good life goodbye I'm very diplomatic when it comes to like certain situations getting closure is something that is so important when a relationship ends it just kind of ties up all the loose ends and it makes it harder for you to even retreat and go back on what you have finalized sometimes we're not sure why do relationship end in it was it something that I did or something that you did that a lot of time we actually blame ourselves if you can seek closure with your ex-partner just have a conversation that just be like so mean [Music] like the scariest thing ever but like you feel so much more peace about the closure once you get it if it's not possible if that person has a block to which I am a master blocker if a person has blocked you or they move country even if they're like passed away like these situations happen sometimes you can't get closure if you can't get closure you kind of have to be okay with the explanation that you never got a man's rejection is God's protection I'm going to be okay and you have to reassure that person inside you that doubts it number three would be to accept that it's over oh I just got shivers like accept that it's over accept that it didn't work out except that it wasn't meant to be and accept that it is what it is no forcing no crying I mean you can cry if you're gonna cry cry like you're fully free to cry and to be upset and to stay in your bed for a week or so like I'll give you permission to do that because it's kind of like a death like you are kind of mourning that person because they're no longer in your life anymore and you may have had expectations or gobbing here traveling the world you may have planned things trips together things that you were gonna do a Bible says that Hope deferred makes the heart sick and so it's okay to cry like it's okay to cry you will get over it because you are strong accept it without trying to change it just be at peace knowing about everything happened exactly how it was supposed to happen number four I would say to disconnect this is not my favorite thing to do like ever you need to disconnect if that means I'm following them on Facebook Instagram Twitter snapchat Instagram block them if you need to block them on what's that block their number sometimes you just have to do call Turkey sometimes it's too much pain to see them every day obviously for some people it's harder like in my situation the person is so entwined in my social circle kind of about every day and I every week a lot more difficult if therefore call just a block and move on because then you see them and it just like work but because I've made a decision I'm now holding on to the foundation of a decision so it's making it easier so if you don't have to see that person all the time you have no excuse okay I'm doing it no Jake it you make a decision to unfold in a person to block them also don't indirect them on social media don't indirect them on snapchat don't indirect them on Twitter you know girls do we get those on Instagram and we screenshot there maybe put them up because the Turnitin direct our X and tell them listen you made a trash click don't do that like don't try and get even because the more that you do like you're showing in that you actually care and if you're saying you don't want to care you need to don't care like you need to stop trying to get revenge or get payback because ultimately you're slowing down your progress you're slowing down what it takes to move on and to get over your ex you know so don't even direct them unfollow them you just do it boom and I believe that that will be one step closer to letting go of them you have to actually not only physically disconnect but like enviromentally disconnect you know get rid of the stuff that they have given you and if it's their clothes give it back to them or give it to charity whatever they want you to do it just like get them out of your energy space if they've given you gifts if they've given you sentimental items either for you clothing even for a season get rid of those items say like if it's a handbag what was it oh but I'm bagging banette joking but if it's like an icing of clothing that reminds you of them whether they bought for you give it to your cousin they'll give it to your little sister and just be like you just like keep it in your house for a little while so that I don't have that attachment and I don't remember all of the memories of getting rid of all the stuff that they have given you you just want to be freeze when they be free number five is rule petty and sometimes you've got to be petty in it like they ain't got to know about this but you've got to be petty in it like get a journal get a piece of paper and write down all the things you dislike about because you know what when you are in relationships know how they say love is blind there are some things that you overlook about that person like maybe their eyes a little bit squinty or maybe do what's more is and I'm not about women we overlook so much stuff when were in relationships with people because we wouldn't love their men that say that women are shallow have no idea men are more shy than women asked women we overlook so much stuff oh you ain't got a job no worries babe oh you don't drive no worries babe all your struggling at the moment I didn't do some money we are women we are cool you you are you do real MVP okay you know real MVP we overlook so much stuff so get your petty on get a piece of people I'll write down all the things you don't like about them their breath smells in the morning that Rolex that he was wearing was fake he was wearing fake Easy's the whole time just be real pay heavy not cold at UK even if you start missing them because we don't listen you just be like I'm joking I'm joking I'm not trying to be like bad man or whatever but you read The Listening decide what are the things I thought was so great like they weren't really that great like I was a bit like delusional and sometimes we have this stage of the moment now we remember all the good things are happening and then it's just I remember what other stuff as well like that he did they do like you know so write it down get real pay with it and I really feel like this will help you like seriously number six I would say if you're not gonna block them change the name in your phone because when you're in a relationship in the core and you remember the butterflies used to get when you used to see their name on the phone drop that out and I changed my ex's name so many times I might as well just put a full-stop I will change the name to a forced always kind of work this tip is kind of working for me anymore I might be that thrown a whole number away you know just talking oh my god I'm not being real so if you're watching this whatever I'm her number seven I would say boundaries set boundaries yet if you don't want to call Turkey cut them out what you want to do is you want to say to them okay we've just broken up I'm gonna need two weeks four weeks five weeks a month two years away from you don't call me don't text me don't come by my house don't do anything used to be able to respect the decision that I've made or don't respect the decision that you've made but sometimes guys make a decision yeah they say it's relationships over yeah but then they'll be the one hitting you up messaging that everything's cool everything's come by are like no you dumped me like better recognize so put boundaries in place that will actually help you to protect your heart like protect your heart because you can't be saying this Oh Vernon saying or doing a go cinema no I don't I don't wanna go sit on the review because you for no wickham things in me that I don't want to feel anymore because you said it's over let's stop the flip-flopping in and out if it's done let it be done like if it's on let number-8 realize that missing someone is a part of letting go missing someone is not a reason to go and call them missing someone is not a reason to get back with them we all have emotions and most of our emotions come from memories emotions coming from feeling his arms around our bad backs and I'm shaking huh feeling his hands around our soft beautiful skin and remembering the times when we sat by the beach and we just talked forever remembering our conversations that we had for 10 hours about the future that's never gonna happen like sometimes you've just gotta realize that just because I miss them doesn't mean that they need to be in my life like it's normal it's fully normal make missing someone a normal thing and that's something that I wish somebody told me because so this is advice that I give to my friends like I was so funny how it's so hard on our friends but we've asked me that's like but this is advice I give to my friends if they said I miss him I'd be like so I'm grateful for the friends I have around me now because they're just like babe it's ok it's ok to miss them is perfectly normal and sometimes you need someone with some friends to reassure you that it's okay like it's ok to miss someone it's ok to be sad it's ok to cry and that brings me on to my next point number 9 surroundings over peoples aren't often friends that will have your back and support you during this time anyone that tells you that it's not that deep has no heart anyone that told you to get over it has no heart or has forgotten waifu like to be in love because it's not just something you can just be like get over it like if i couldn't get over it don't you figure what like a long loss of give yourself time and number 10 I'm gonna say for me refocusing my attention back to where you're supposed to be because most times when you are in relationships are you in toxic relationships it's all about this person that you've made it all about them all in your mind your consumes your heart your soul your mind is this person all you know about yourself is that person and so so important that you refocus your attention me I like to focus on work for me I like to focus on what I'm doing I to focus on my goals I that's a big focus on the year ahead girls we are nearly in 2018 some things we just need to leave in 2017 which also means badass relationship let it go let it go well yeah I like to refer to as my attention on my goals because I'm a go-getter to set goals and achieve them even though I don't agree with revenge the best revenge is success good shot good shot my sis I've got to prove to your ex that look I've made it without you like that's not to prove to him that oh I'm good all by myself but it's just for yourself that's what you need to do for yourself to succeed focus on the things that matter you know focus on the things that matter to you that I'm important and that brings me on to point 11 I have no more fingers left one so point number eleven self-love is the best medicine for a broken heart and self-love huh I've never realized causes of self-love when leaving a relationship boy so many times we rely on other people to give us the things that we've supposed to give to ourself that will preach and in a whole new video on self-love the whole not holding the perspective but let's do the same but I've got layers to this self-love team yeah I love layers of this self nub teen self-love is really about giving the care that you expect some other people giving it back to yourself so most times when you go through a breakup we feel empty we feel broken because we feel like that person is taking something from us or the love that we've given out to that person in now I know where they've gone with it especially if they're in a new relationship and they're giving it to somebody else that's even more hurtful but you have to realize that you have enough love you being yourself to heal yourself the love that you gave to him wasn't all that you could give we are beautiful fascinating wonderful spectacular women what game was another love in ourselves so to be spread with a gazillion and million people and still have enough to give to yourself self love is the best medicine for a breakup the tension that you're looking for in that guy give it to yourself take yourself out on that date take yourself down to the pub sit with yourself you make yourself with a nice meal take yourself out to a restaurant go to the movies care about yourself give by yourself that attention for Netflix and typing comedy and laugh with yourself laugh with yourself self-care that love that you're looking for someone else to give you give it to yourself say you are enough I'm enough Brina you are enough you are more than enough I love you I'm loyal to you I will ride for you I will never leave you you have this commitment you have my word I will ride out for you I will never forsake you most of times we're not even bad relationships because we've given ourselves away but given that small child in us away instead of protecting that child so that we love in that child instead of attending to that child which is yourself needs you to take it and give it someone else please love me meet me be the one for me I'm not mocking anybody because if all been there we all felt like we wasn't enough in that I love that we have for ourselves wasn't enough but I'm here to say that you are more than enough you are a wonder like you are a blessing like you are amazing finally another list write down all the things that you want in your future husband and just be as outlandish as possible write down the impossible write down the things that you don't even think you deserve yet I think yet those who do deserve them right right on the things that you don't even believe that you will get right down wealthy write down rich financially stable gentlemen loving godly leader provide a protector right on all the good things that you want in that man because you're gonna get it you're gonna get it and it gives you a hope to look forward to you so that when you're down there dumps you for I have never gonna meet anyone else that's gonna love me the way that this guy loved me that's incorrect that is a limiting belief okay and you want you to think that he's the best thing that ever happened to you that's a lie listen write down on a piece of paper everything that you want in a man everything that will match you I was thinking that that you want in a man that you believe will make you better not complete you but make you a better person I know that I need somebody that is going to expand my mind somebody that is so freakin intelligent so advanced so someone has seen the world I want to show me the world I'm tired of being the guys that I just like feel like I know more than them that I can teach you that I can teach you a thing or two you know no I'm not someone that's gonna upgrade me then me up [Music] I'm good all by myself but we are forced when we're together you know like like joy mean I write on the things that you want in a man and it'll give you a hope matter of fact write down everything that that guy wasn't only trying to make out that guy well everything you want in a man and believe that you will get in and give you a new design new hope before not possibly min we are punching below your way you deserve so much more but you're setting so many little high we'll deal with that but we will deal with the way in my soul circuit video so please subscribe to my channel if you want to see more I have a goal of reaching 100 K by the end of the year I don't see the how that's gonna happen but I'm gonna believe it I'm gonna confess I'm not gonna receive it in Jesus name and I hope you guys enjoyed his videos and I have a studio now so I'll be able to be shooting a lot more videos out just boom boo-boom boo-boom boo-boom i'll have more content out very very soon please support my channel watch my other videos because they keep lightsome they keep the studio lights on you know but i hope you guys enjoy this video and I just wanna say I'm praying for all of you that are heartbroken right now and feel that there's no way out like you will get out baby girl there's so many times that a lot of people they look back and they may be married now they look back on how they cried over people that weren't even like if they could see their future they probably will even have cried over what they felt that in Aust so it's always so important to keep your mind future focus do what you need to do and your time will sink when it's pressed into god you're the relationship of God so he can show you who you are because self-identity is so important a lot of times we lose ourselves in other people I was never God's intention for you to lose yourself in somebody else even in marriage to to become one they don't get lost they get all beautifully gel together don't get lost also another thing don't let a man steal the best years of the guys don't let a man steal your youth it's not worth it I think one of my videos a few years ago stay in school and stay single until you find a man worth your time and it sounds I'm really hard on guys it's not I'm hot I'm glad is that I'm so for my sister's waking up and seeing their potential and realizing their potential and knowing how much they are worth as women because a lot of men out there are trash facts but it's a good guy out there for you see you guys later

Channel: Breeny Lee

Views: 279,930

Rating: 4.9724898 out of 5

Keywords: BREENY LEE, BREENY LEE SOUL SURGERY, SOUL SURGERY, HOW TO GET OVER YOUR EX, HOW TO GET OVER A BREAK UP, BREAK UP, MY BOYFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME, I CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIM, LEAVING A TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

Id: TA8Rr0054_8

Length: 20min 43sec (1243 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 23 2017