How Disney RUINED Boba Fett (Book of Boba Fett Review)

[Music] the book of boba fett is many things it's an action-packed space western a tense crime drama a dances with wolves rip off and a look at the terrifying future of the not so uncanny valley what it isn't is a competent television show no the book of boba fett is what we in the industry like to call a narrative cluster with its endless parade of bland characters confusing timelines and lazy story hooks never truly coalescing into a coherent product this show is like a jigsaw puzzle made out of razor blades because though all the jagged little pieces do eventually fit together what you get is about as satisfying as a stock image of a panda bear covered in your own human blood point is the book of boba fett has given us a shitty blood-soaked jigsaw puzzle and we're here to tear that bastard apart and put it back in the box so throw on your safety gloves grab a drink and let's get to work but first a word from our sponsor now if you're like me you've probably found yourself getting a 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incredible artwork by ketter lebeau the most beautiful man in mexico point is this is going to be the greatest comic book ever written but we can't make it without your help check the link in the description and sign up for our mailing list that way when our crowdfunding campaign goes live you'll be among the first in line to get yourself a copy of this glorious blood-soaked comic book masterpiece super killer book one because for humanity to live the supermen must die and now back to [ __ ] on disney chapter 1 all filler no killer now perhaps one of the most iconic lines in empire strikes back comes from this scene where darth vader tasks a collection of fearsome bounty hunters with capturing the rebellion hero luke skywalker standing among these hunters is boba fett a man with such a deadly reputation that vader personally gives him a special stipulation for this mission no disintegrations as you wish god what a great line with just these two words we learned that boba fett's love of ruthless unrestrained violence is so severe that even the most terrifying sith lord in history has to tell the guy to reign it in a little bit unfortunately this boba fett who was once known galaxy wide as a master of death and disintegration seems to have been lost forever in the stomach of the sarlacc pit what emerged instead was a sad chubby old man who seems more interested in taking long relaxing baths than dishing out a bit of the old ultra violence now look it's honestly fine that the writers are trying to evolve boba fett's character in this new friendlier direction i'd argue it's kind of stupid to throw away the vicious bounty hunter which has proven such an enduring figure for over 40 years but if you're really dead set on telling the story of a deeply flawed man struggling to find a more noble purpose in life sure go nuts with it the problem is that this show should have focused on actually showing us this transformation showing us how a ruthless killer can transform into a beloved leader but we're really supposed to believe that one semester of interpretive dance and advanced woodworking at tuscan raider community college was enough to reform a man with a body count in the hundreds if not thousands or did jamming a lizard up his nose make boba fett into a good person i i don't know but either way this transformation should have been the central focus of the show not a minor plot point that was quickly glossed over i mean seriously imagine if the show had given us a boba fett who was constantly wrestling with his old ways a man for whom the only form of negotiation was a hell of blaster fire now forced to engage in tiresome diplomacy and strategic alliances would he manage to stay on the path of the righteous or would he succumb to his inner darkness unable to escape his blood-soaked past now in this alternate reality where the show was written by a fat italian genius i would have focused heavily on the character of cad bane having this villain serve as the ultimate test of boba fett's loyalty to the people of tatooine bane would undermine fett's diplomacy through sabotage and brutality spending not just one episode but the entire season trying to provoke this so-called damio into again embracing his more sinister nature all of this would end with a climactic fight between these two former allies boba fett fighting not just for his life but for his very soul as boba prepares to strike the killing blow on bane the man would taunt him kill me because that's what you are a killer it's all you've ever been and it's all you'll ever be you can hunker down in your fancy palace and play statesman all you want but deep down this is the real you a bloodthirsty hunter who lives only for the next kill so do it take your trophy of blood and admit who you really are boba would go to strike the final blow but purposefully miss by inches telling bane i'm not the scared little boy you once knew the boy who let anger consume his every thought that boy has sat with the tuscan tribes of the great plains broke bread with the noble folk of freetown and seen the struggle of the citizens of mos espa and that boy has become the man you see now these people mean more to me than our meaningless fight and i will gain nothing from letting the blood of a bitter old man stay in the streets of my beloved city you have lost cat bane leave this planet and never return boba would turn to exit only for cat bane to pull a hidden blaster from beneath his coat and try to strike a coward's blow but he is too old too slow and too blind to understand that phet's final courtesy was not a gift to be squandered that would put him down with a shot between the eyes so long old friend he would lament content to know he did only what was necessary but sadly forced to acknowledge that even the nobleman must sometimes shed blood but instead kadbane just kind of randomly shows up causes some trouble and then boba fett stabs him to death with a pointy stick no moral quandaries no ruminations on the line between good and evil just stabbing a blue guy to death with a pointy stick that's just good star wars right there i tell you what way to go writers knocked it out of the [ __ ] park chapter 2 the godfather for babies now when i first heard the book of boba fett was going to be a crime family drama like the sopranos i actually thought that was a semi-clever idea a show exploring the ins and outs of the tatooine underworld as well as the various crime bosses and bounty hunters fighting to control it could have made for a decent watch unfortunately i don't think the people writing the book of boba fett have ever actually seen a mafia movie because while the shell contains very clear visual references to films like the godfather it seems to completely misunderstand what makes those stories interesting see in your typical mafia movie the most important story beats are the hard choices that our anti-heroes have to make we watch as characters like michael corleone desperately try to hang on to their humanity while making decisions that lead to the death of friends associates and sometimes even their own family but boba fett is never given even a single hard choice to make in this show no this is a mafia story where the godfather rules not with money or violence but with the power of friendship don't believe me here's just a few examples number one fed is presented with a pair of gomorian guards who refused to surrender after he killed their master bib fortuna while i'm sure this ruthless crime boss will dispose of them to establish his new reign gotcha he lets them live and he gives them a job okay well uh how about number two a crazy wookie killer tries to murder boba fett in the bathtub but i tell you what old boba ain't gonna let that one slide he's gonna gotcha lets the wookie live later on gives him a job okay well i guess then there's number three a bunch of biker punks they're stealing water now it's time boba fett gonna break some skulls gotcha pardons them gives all of them jobs all of them they all get a job this is like boba fett's only thing giving people jobs now number four flashback boba finds one of the most deadly assassins in the universe she's dying in the desert so he does the smart thing he books it out of there gosh it saves her life gives her a job this is the whole show the whole show is him giving people jobs you know what he was thinking when he killed cat bain he thought [ __ ] i was gonna give that guy a job i didn't mean to kill him i was trying to give him employment okay well number five the mayor's assistant shows up humiliates boba fett tries to run away from his teenage biker gang i guarantee boba fett is gonna kill this guy gotcha pardons him and surprisingly does not give him a job but if this show gets the second season i guarantee that guy's getting a job everybody gets a [ __ ] job on this show now in more complex and nuanced shows you know the kind of shows written for adults the main character usually learns that this kind of endless generosity is a terrible weakness allowing people to not only defy your authority but to reward them for it is the kind of behavior that only leads to your own pair of concrete shoes and a swim in the new jersey river but look at this [ __ ] boba fett even lets his squeaky teenage foot soldiers challenge him publicly if you want to abandon moss espen hide in your fortress go ahead the people who live here need our protection the most ruthless killer in the universe and you're going to let this dumb 15 year old emo girl mouth off about your duty as leader or whatever you know what you do here set this [ __ ] on fire and find a new squeaky teenage girl who doesn't run her mouth so much so yeah the book of boba fett is like the godfather for babies an alternate reality where drug cartels can be defeated entirely by positive thinking and a can-do attitude wait a minute godfather for babies okay that's actually a good idea for an animated series i gotta get francis ford coppola on the phone this idea is hot chapter three the mod squad now was it a bad idea to have a teenage biker gang in star wars no that was a great idea a bunch of young pissed off streetwise kids pushing their rusted out speeder bikes to the limit would have been a great addition to the star wars universe thing is we didn't get a bunch of cool biker kids no we got a pile of preppy british fashion models riding popsicle-colored chrome monstrosities and why did we get this because robert rodriguez wanted to make a really bad pun you see these tatooine street punks like to augment their bodies with droid parts undergoing surgical modifications they uncleverly refer to as mods and for those of you who lived in 1960s london you might remember an era where obnoxiously fashionable youth rode around on stupid-looking vespas with way too many mirrors these kids were referred to as the modernists which was uncleverly shortened to mods you get it you get it now they're mods with mods they modify their bodies but they also ride mods scooters isn't that hilarious isn't robert rodriguez a comedy genius so for the sake of a stupid pun we now have a bunch of dweebs riding around tatooine on the stupidest looking vehicles ever seen in star wars and yes that includes the useless bombers from the last jedi because the thing is these dumb bikes might have actually worked if this show was set on a different planet if these dorks were zooming around the neon lit streets of coruscant sure i don't think they'd feel too out of place parked outside of dexter jetstar's stupid 50s diner but as we've established tatooine is a piss-poor desert wasteland where people can barely afford water in fact that's a major plot point in the episode where the mods first appear if you're a daimyo then why'd you let the manga charge you some months wages for a week's war so let me get this straight i'm supposed to feel bad for these dumb kids being about the price of water knowing that they've clearly sunk thousands of credits into modifying both their dumb scooters and buying robot arms and laser eyes maybe you could afford more water if you weren't buying all your clothes from space armani you stupid [ __ ] kids and hell why would you invest all your money into a shiny chrome scooter on a planet covered in sand in case you've forgotten the primary properties of sand here's anakin skywalker himself to tell you about them i don't like sand it's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere that's right sand is coarse and rough and it gets everywhere so if you try to ride your stupid scooter through the desert all the sand you kick up is gonna strip that fancy chrome paint job off in about 15 seconds that's the reason all the other vehicles on tatooine look like pieces of why would you waste your money on chrome on a desert planet you get what i'm saying right point is the mods are stupid their bikes are stupid and robert rodriguez has no idea how to film a decent chase scene and did we really need to see this one mod kid doing a spin no more spinning stop putting spinning in star wars i'll try spinning that's a good trick stop it chapter four lights camera shitty action now it's no secret that disney has been trying their hardest to turn star wars into a sanitized pg-13 wonderland gone are the days of lightsaber decapitations and sexy space bikinis hell boba fett isn't even allowed to call his ship the slave one anymore you know because that might offend all the real world space slaves help me recover my fire spray gunship so given how kid-friendly they're trying to make this franchise i understand that they're probably not gonna let boba fett dismember people and beat them to death with their own limbs but come on this is boba fett can't he do something more exciting than getting his ass kicked before going to take yet another bath now there's lots of bad action to point at in this show the goofy fight with these shield wielding bozos the terribly lit escape from jabba's hangar but nothing stands out as badly as the final action set piece of the show's finale first we get to watch the worst fire fight ever as both mando and fat forget about the concept of taking cover and simply stand in the middle of the street letting themselves get shot from all directions i mean look they're just standing there how is anyone missing them they're right there in a wide open street oh this is ridiculous now thankfully these giant walking spider tanks show up to make things interesting why the syndicate doesn't just carpet bomb boba fett from the air i don't know but who can pass up the opportunity for giant mechanical spiders but yet again this show has no idea how to raise the stakes see normally in an action sequence like this one where you introduce a giant death weapon you're supposed to demonstrate what a threat it is by having it actually function as a giant death weapon a great example would be this scene from dread where the villain mama wheels out a giant ass machine gun fire you see how everyone's getting shot by the gun you know how the movie makes the weapon seem scary by showing the damage it can actually do not only is this more visually interesting but it ramps up the tension of the scene making it clear our heroes are in very real danger now compare that to the book of boba fett where [ __ ] robert rodriguez gives us two giant walking death tanks yet doesn't let them shoot even a single random villager how useless are these [ __ ] things again you've got a crowd of morons fleeing down a wide open street and these spiders can't land even a single shot you can't hit any of these people god how thrilling is this hell these things can't even shoot through a flimsy clay wall what is the wall made of best car 2 this is the stupidest thing ever again i'm not saying the show needs to be filled with blood and gore but all these action sequences are lazy badly shot and never put our characters in any real danger but hey look it's the rant core remember the rank car you know from return of the jedi remember remember that ignore the lazy uninspired action and suck up the nostalgia juice you filthy [ __ ] animals jesus christ chapter five boba fett is an idiot now ever since return of the jedi saw our favorite mandalorian getting bested by a blind han solo boba fett's reputation is the most cunning bounty hunter in the galaxy has been a matter of contention which is part of why fans were so excited for this show it was a chance to show us boba fett's legendary prowess and action to see just how this brilliant warrior outwits and outsmarts his enemies instead we got a scene where boba fett goes looking for his armor inside the sarlacc pit despite the fact that he crawled out of the pit wearing the armor so obviously it's not in there okay i guess i can forgive that i'm gonna assume this old bald bastard has a bit of memory loss after getting half digested inside a monster stomach then getting dragged through the desert like a [ __ ] yet no amount of memory loss excuses the sheer stupidity of flying your spaceship over to a giant sentient desert vagina without first checking whether or not that [ __ ] is still alive [Music] you dumb [ __ ] your ship has a laser cannon right why didn't you just light up that sandy butthole from the air before swooping in all close and personal with the thing just just hover over it and shoot down a bunch of lasers and make sure it's dead before getting your very expensive spaceship within tentacle striking range god what a ass well at least boba fett isn't stupid enough to massacre an entire biker gang based on the mere discovery of their gang sign scrawled on a tent an incredibly basic symbol literally anyone could replicate with minimal effort oh wait no he slaughters them all in cold blood and then later of course we find out that it wasn't the gang it was actually the syndicate again because it's the easiest symbol i know we can make that symbol it's a it's a j and an l you didn't think to investigate maybe if anyone else could have po whatever you're an idiot i don't care forget it god boba fett is so dumb chapter six too much tattooing now according to the lore star wars is set in a universe containing more than two million different planets colonized moons and space stations so why the [ __ ] do we keep going back to tatooine what is the obsession with this shitty desert planet now yes obviously the franchise started here so it makes sense that fans have an emotional connection to tatooine but haven't you fanboys seen enough goddamn jawas cantina bands and moisture farms already can we please just move on because let's be clear the entire premise of the series is that boba fett a bounty hunter who has likely traveled to every corner of the galaxy and seen planets far nicer than this desert hole suddenly decides he wants to rule over this desert hole for no reason whatsoever i mean i guess he feels weirdly indebted to the tuscan raiders but oh hey they're all dead so i mean why why are you here just just leave seriously why does he want to be a domino i mean because this looks like the worst job in the world yes you get a big palace and a pet rancor shore but everybody is always trying to kill you that doesn't sound like a great trade-off i can understand that this lifestyle might appeal to the hutt family because they're a bunch of big fat slobs who just want to eat drink and force their slaves to dance to terrible cgi monster music [Music] but what is boba fett getting out of this i guess he's just high on the idea of bringing peace to the lawless streets of moscow again because he spent like a week with tusken raiders and now he cares about people or something i i don't know i don't care like a bentha yes point is i don't understand why boba fett has such a hard on for tatooine it's fine that he's made jabba's palace into his base of operations but wouldn't it be cooler if he was zipping around the galaxy going on adventures instead of just taking baths and having awkward dinners with fenik shand instead of just sitting around waiting for other people to attack him why does he take the fight directly to his enemies sabotage their operations on other planets go to their fancy space base and assassinate their leader but no all we get is more tatooine the only planet in star wars yay tatooine yay chapter 7 the book of mandalorian call me crazy but when i started watching the book of boba fett i thought it would be a show about boba fett imagine my surprise when two of the seven chapters were just shitty teasers for the mandalorian season three i mean come on one of the most legendary star wars characters finally gets his own tv show yet despite 40 years of novels comic books video games and other expanded lore to draw from the writers still can't figure out how to fill a measly seven episodes without giving two of them away to mando how embarrassing now it's not that the episodes are bad but it is bizarre to me that the entire emotional payoff of the season 2 finale has been almost immediately undone mando spent almost an entire season grappling with the idea that to love someone is to set them free only for his surrogate child to come running back to the cage after a few weeks [ __ ] around with luke skywalker sure we all figured he'd come back eventually but you couldn't save that reunion for an actual episode of the mandalorian come on now this is entirely baseless speculation but here's why i think disney jammed this ill-fitting baby yoda b plot into the book of boba fett now it's rumored that john favreau and dave filoni wrote that season 2 finale without any real oversight from the disney apparatus and after it aired it's my belief that someone at disney quite possibly kathleen kennedy herself started having a grand mal seizure as she thought of all the money they stood to lose what do you mean you wrote baby yoda off the show are you [ __ ] insane do you know how much [ __ ] money we make selling merchandise of that little green bastard fix it now or you're all fired so john favreau and dave filoni were given the unfortunate task of completely undercutting their own season finale forcibly jamming the tiny green cash cow back into the franchise in the midst of a completely different show so as cool as deep fake luke skywalker might have been these two episodes still seemed like little more than a desperate attempt to ensure the baby yoda money printer was properly lubed up in time for another season of mando i mean god forbid they devote those two episodes to expanding on the lackluster motivations of the guy the show is named after it's the book of boba fett expand on his character not mando oh god whatever chapter eight welcome to the disney dumpster so the book of boba fett sucks but is anyone really surprised disney's content strategy seems to be throwing so much [ __ ] at the consumer that they become overwhelmed by the sheer mediocrity of it all no longer able to remember what a good star wars story looks like disney continues to limp these shows over the finish line with minimal attention paid to quality too busy tickling the audience's nostalgia boner to try and distract them from the next round of disney plus subscription hikes and maybe that's the greatest tragedy of the book of boba fett not just that it sucks but that it's an indication of future suckage which has yet to come it's a reminder that disney really has no idea what they are doing and are just making it up as they go along a rogue squadron movie from patty jenkins sure that's an idea i guess a lando calrissian show starring donald glover okay well i don't know about that one how about a cassian andor show what the who is cassian andor the guy who died at the end of rogue one why would i want a show about that that's gonna suck that sounds terrible so if you're still excited for this endless procession of half-baked star wars projects well god bless your sweetheart cause nothing disney has given us in this post-sequel trilogy era fills me with any new hope i'm worried that projects like the book of boba fett are as good as it's ever gonna get lazy meaningless plots full of cheap writing and bad characters containing just the right amount of member berries to get the fanboys to cream in their genes now there's currently a big pile of idiots who are boycotting disney for trying to make their kids gay or something i don't really get it but frankly i'd be much more worried about disney making your kids stupid i would rather have a kid with a fabulous sense of fashion and a knack for interior decorating then a kid who lets disney smack him in the face with this fan pantering garbage while begging for more so if you truly care about your child's future maybe you should sit them down and explain to them that there are many different types of love in this world there's the good kind of love between mommies and daddies or daddies and daddies mommies and mommies sometimes that's pretty hot but there's also the bad kind of love between blind fanboys and shitty franchise writers and that's what this show is it's bad love i'm not saying i'm ready to take star wars out of my life entirely but after the complete disappointment of this boba fett show i'm starting to think we might need some counseling take care star wars fans and hopefully someday you'll find a science fiction space opera that treats you right [Music] hey buddy thanks for watching now real quick please i know this is the part of the video where everybody goes oh it's over i can leave and go watch more fun youtube videos please just give me give me two seconds of your time i really appreciate it right now it is very hard to survive as a youtuber and i'm frankly only able to do it with the support of people like you so at the very least could you please subscribe to the channel hit the button it takes it takes nothing it costs you nothing click that little button subscribe to this channel help me out i would appreciate it so much now if you really like these kind of videos and you really want to help me create them you can check out my patreon not only will that get you access to a bunch of bonus videos and content including the uncensored version of this video but you'll also be directly supporting my work and making it possible for me to keep creating this kind of content and lastly as i mentioned in the video i'm very excited about the upcoming kickstarter for my own comic book super killer i've spent a lot of time critiquing other people's fictional works and it's time for me to nut up or shut up and show that i can yes craft a decent compelling and hilarious story but like i said the only way we can make that comic is with the help of people like you so please subscribe to the mailing list at superkiller.org that way when the crowdfunding campaign goes live you're going to be among the first to know about it you're going to be able to get your hands on all sorts of exclusives and discounts and whatever else and you'll be there helping me make my comic book dreams come true so once again thank you to everybody who's been supporting my channel thank you especially to everybody over on patreon who's directly made this video possible and please if you like what you see don't forget to subscribe and maybe uh check out the mailing list over at superkiller.org i would really appreciate it again it doesn't cost you anything you just give me your email address and you make the fat guy feel a little bit happier for a day okay you just give me this i have nothing else going on in my life please okay thanks for watching and what do we do next obi-wan kenobi okay i don't know if i want to talk about that show let me know in the comments if you want me to talk about obi-wan kenobi and as always more cool videos coming soon peace [Applause] you

Channel: Vito

Views: 216,277

Keywords: star wars, boba fett, the mandalorian, boba fett mandalorian, boba fett vs cad bane, boba fett vs stormtroopers, star wars theory, disney plus, book of boba fett, baby yoda, geeks and gamers, kathleen kennedy, the last jedi, the rise of skywalker, star wars explained, cinematic failure, everything wrong with, redlettermedia, robot head, obi wan, review, ahsoka, rancor, cad bane, deepfake, cg, disney star wars, lucasfilm, Critical drinker, Rlm, Mauler, Book of boba fett review

Id: IdcamFFeS74

Length: 29min 2sec (1742 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 12 2022