Wonder Woman 1984 is Complete Garbage

i don't know what to say about this movie it's trash right it's it's a trash movie it is a garbage trash movie everybody involved with it should be ashamed of putting together this schlock and i i honestly don't know how this thing gets made this script is a first draft script the script makes no sense it's totally inconsistent if somebody had handed this script to me i would say you gotta get an interesting first draft here maybe six months a year down the line you'll have a real script but right now this is unfilmable it's nonsense what you've put together is this complete tripe garbage and you should you should take it back workshop it fix it i don't care you're patty jenkins director of the original wonder woman and you go well this time i'm going to write the script myself this time me and jeff johns from dc comics we're going to write this script together now get a real script writer just because you're a good director doesn't mean you're a good writer and this is a this is a perfect example of why directors who get one little hit you get a little hit in the bag oh you made wonder woman which i hate to say it it's not that hard to make these franchise superhero films the wonder woman was not great it was so so okay it made money based on the fact that everybody knows what a wonder woman is and went to go see it you are not a unique and beautiful special snowflake that you made the wonder woman movie work any any [ __ ] would have a brain could have made that movie work so once you had that success in the bag that was not your time to go well i must be the greatest director who ever lived i should write all my own scripts i can do whatever i want i can i'm everything i touch turns to gold that's not the case patty and everybody else involved with this nonsense and real quick before i get into this one don't forget to subscribe you click the button it's going to make my holidays i swear to god please click subscribe baby you know you want to i'd really appreciate it let's get into it wonder woman 1984 is set in the 80s supposedly nothing the movie really has anything to do with the 80s at all they show you some 80s looking cars they take you to a mall that's it that's the extent of it being an 80s movie they hyped this movie up so hard as a retro exciting 80s adventure you know you're going to travel through time nothing like in this movie feels like the 80s this movie feels cheap they go to the middle east for after movie i thought a movie about the the 80s we'd we'd be traveling around seeing you know 80s locales and you know nightclubs and whatever else no none of that it's just a bunch of boring government buildings and it could this could be said at any point in time there's nothing about this movie that's the 80s so movie starts off has a good scene to start off you get a little wonder woman learning a lesson young wonder woman she tried to cheat in the amazon olympics as a little kid and they said no don't cheat cheating's bad it's a cool little scene it looks cool i don't understand the connection of the rest of the movie other than the very blatant stupid moral don't lie no true hero is born from lies okay that really does not have a lot to do with the rest of the movie i guess it kind of ties into the villain who's been lying to everyone his whole life but ultimately again first draft of a script is what we have here first draft nothing connects to anything else everything's unconnected because immediately after this we go to this random mall robbery which feels tacked on this feels like a reshoot it's just a random joss whedon superhero nightmare where i know i i don't know there's this whole thing where people go oh superhero movies should be colorful and fun like you know the the donner superhero movies christopher reeve gee thanks mister [Music] bye frisky okay that's that's fun sometimes but this is too much a guy guy rob they rob a jewelry store and then immediately try to throw a kid off a balcony it makes no sense [Music] what robber robs a jewelry store and then immediately grabs a kid and threatens to kill them whatever it's just an excuse for wonder woman to show up and save the day and save kids because i i don't know i guess that makes us identify with her character oh look she saved a precocious little girl oh fantastic has nothing to do with anything [Music] and it's so weird batman's always yelling at wonder woman he's like you went away for a century shut yourself down for a century so let's not talk about me moving on it's like no she was actually saving kids in malls i mean did batman not check the news from the 80s for sightings of a mysterious costumed woman a mysterious female savior that multiple witnesses saw i mean at one point she literally addresses the entire world using a magic satellite we'll get into that nonsense later i don't know how batman didn't uncover any of that when he was researching her so wonder woman works at a museum okay that's fine that's cute we've had that and it works and kristen wake is there i did not know anything going in this movie i did not know kristen wiig was in this movie and uh i did not realize i mean i i figured it out pretty quick when she looks at a diana's shoes and she goes oh leopard print shoes oh those are cool i go oh crap is she gonna be cheetah but those are cool i like those animal prints and yes she does become cheetah and it is so utterly stupid barbara what did you do [Music] here's the thing if you're gonna have a character turn into a cat person there should be like a reason right but there isn't she just becomes a cat for no reason what so i i guess we have to talk about the crystal here's what the whole movie falls apart because of the crystal it's all coming back to this stupid crystal i hate the crystal whoever came up with the crystal is the biggest idiot in the world this makes no sense okay there's a magic wishing crystal okay they refer to it they call it like a like a monkey's paw it's like a genie bottle okay you can make a wish i really wish i had a coffee yeah i got erica coffee but she's out sick does anybody want this what yeah i'll take one okay fine stupid as hell stupid premise for a superhero movie they keep touching the crystal they keep making wishes kristen wiig wants to be powerful like diana she wants this because the movie keeps hitting you over the head with this nonsense about it's the 80s and men are mean and rapey and awful what are you doing hey let's go with me so she wants to be strong so if a guy tries to be rapey towards her or whatever she'll she'll be a strong independent woman do you remember me wonder woman obviously wishes for her boyfriend to come back to life her boyfriend who died in world war one it's been 65 years and i looked it up i'm like is how old is wonder woman she's in the comics at least 5 000 years old so i don't understand how she got attached to one guy and now is like what you can't move on from that that's the only guy you're ever going to love is that one guy who died 65 years ago it's kind of a shitty moral you know especially for people who have had loved ones who have died the idea you're never going to get over it ever and there was only ever one love in your life and you'll never find another one that's a bad moral i hate to say it and the wishing crystal let's be clear brings him back to life you know it doesn't like take him out of the grave or just materialize him for some reason it takes a random guy and puts her boyfriend steve trevor's soul in a random guy the rules of the crystal are never made clear the crystal is complete nonsense and if that's the problem with the movie is we never understand what is the deal with these wishes how do these wishes work like what happens if two wishes contradict each other because the big problem is the guy who ends up with the crystal is maxwell lord played by pedro pascal who i thought was terrible he was miscast he's supposed to be like a like a wild businessman whatever you know like a 80s businessman ruthless tele telemarketer kind of guy you need a guy with some charisma life is good but it can be better oh my gosh from tv oh my gosh you're the you're the oil guy the oil guy i'll take it so he wants he gets the crystal he's apparently been studying it we never under we never learned how did this random oil tycoon find out about the crystal like it would have made sense if his character was like a minor or something you know like he dug for precious jewels and then he found out about this crystal no it's just like this random guy somehow found out about a magic crystal that grants wishes he's the only guy who found out about it not only that he was able to somehow obtain it we don't know how he just has it shipped to the jewelry store and i hate to say it if there's a if there's a crystal that that grants wishes you're not gonna leave it at the jewelry store for a couple days before you pick it up you're gonna you're gonna be calling them until the day it shows up you're gonna go is it here okay i'll be right there but instead he just leaves it in the back room where it gets stolen which is how it ends up at the museum it's so kind of [ __ ] looted so this max lord guy this is this is where everything goes off the rails it makes no sense he wants he wants to be uh you know successful sure fine so you would think okay take the crystal and wish to be successful game over end of the movie man gets wishing crystal wishes to be successful the end but instead he wishes i can't believe this he wishes to become the wishing crystal i wish to be you the dream stone itself this is some aladdin stuff i want to be the genie i'm going to be the genie but we never learn why and that's why the movie makes no sense we don't know what the villain wants all he's told us is i want to be a great man well it takes time to become a great great number one man like your dad is going to be well okay well you wished for your oil fields to produce or you tricked someone his whole thing is now he tricks people into wishing for things that he wants because he is the wish crystal so if someone says you know i wish you had a million dollars to him he'll get a million dollars tell me again you wish you had more help yes i wish i had more help but there are just too many calls to take uh hi i'm sorry to bother you i'm meant to be interviewing at an accounting firm you're hired but we don't know what he wants he just seems to keep wanting more stuff with no end goal like if at one point he said i want to live forever i want to be a god something like that we'd understand it but instead he's just going through the movie grabbing people and being like wish that i get this wish that i get this where should i get this and we never know what his end goal is we never know if it'll ever end it's so again first draft of a script first draft the the villain has no motivation we don't know his motivation i want to be a great man okay well you already won when when you wished for your oil fields to start producing what else does he want we don't no and we don't understand so this man who has become a crystal which is the stupidest thing i've ever heard in my life we gotta stop him so wonder woman gets her new boyfriend who's back from the dead and she's like we gotta go talk to that guy real quick let's have a little montage of 80s stuff the pockets here their pockets all over the pant american issue bag adjustable yeah we've never seen these jokes before how can a woman possibly fight in this fight i don't even think they researched the 80s as i pointed out there's one part that go to an arcade none of the arcade machines were produced prior to 1984 so they clearly didn't care about that detail you have trevor looking at a train like what the hell is a train [ __ ] trains were around in world war one this guy's not gonna look at the train and go oh like he knows what a [ __ ] train is they had trains in the wall oh my god so they gotta go to the middle east to stop this guy and then the whole thing becomes that whenever you get a wish you lose your most important thing which for wonder woman is because her boyfriend's back now she gets weaker and weaker and she's not as powerful as she was before okay fine they go to the middle east they can't stop the guy they come back you know they they have to learn about the crystal so they go to a record shop run by a hippie my great-great-grandfather left me this first draft first draft first draft of the script it's going nowhere meanwhile pedro pascal's character he takes over the middle east he becomes the number one oil guy in the world and he comes back and he's got to go talk to the president so he wishes to go see the president don't you wish i had an audience with the president today of course i do again we don't know what he wants i don't even know why he goes to the president here's the problem okay if you're gonna have a movie about a magic crystal or any kind of magic artifact you have to establish to the audience the rules of the artifact right if we know the rules we can follow the movie and it's more interesting when we see people go around the rules i mean an obvious example is going to be aladdin aladdin the genie tells him there's three rules to the lamp rule number one i can't kill anybody oh rule number two i can't make anybody fall in love rule number three i can't bring people back from the dead it's not a pretty picture i don't like doing it okay but then it's interesting where he goes okay well i can't make her fall in love with me but i could wish to be you know like a great man and a prince and then she'll just fall in love with me naturally and we understand what the rules are and we understand how the characters are trying to get around them we don't understand the rules of the stupid wishing crystal because he goes to the president and he's like what do you want and the president goes i want more nuclear weapons which makes no sense what do you wish for what is there to wish for but more more nuclear weapons more than they have closer to them if i just had that in place then they would have to listen to us why wouldn't you just say i want there to be peace and stability in in the middle east or you know i want you know peace between the nations or i want us to you know dominate the soviet union the soviet union to surrender all of those wishes would have would have gotten rid of all the conflict so they can't put that in the movie instead he has to wish for something so stupid he says i want more nukes which leads to this stupid crisis where because they have more nukes now the russians are saying oh you're preparing for war so there's a nuclear war coming because of all these wishes soviet's early detection system had picked up our new nukes what new nukes 100 warheads just went online ready to launch they're taking this as an act of war again we don't understand the rules of the super witch crystal because i'm sitting there going why don't you just find a kid because you can have anyone make a wish why don't you find a kid and tell him hey can you wish for world peace real quick to solve this i don't get how the crystal works what happens if wishes contradict each other and here's where it gets so stupid this is the stupidest thing one of the rules of the wish crystal for no reason is you have to touch the crystal when you make the the wish which is why he grabs everybody's hands whenever they make the wish so he wants to be able to have a bunch of people wish all at once i need to find a way to touch a lot of people at the same time again we don't know why but i'm gonna try and write the script for them anyway which is that he just wants to become omnipotent or all-powerful so he wants as many people to wish as possible i can't explain this crystal it's so stupid when you wish for something it takes something away and because he is the crystal he's allowed to take whatever he wants he finds out there's a satellite this is the stupidest part in the movie he's in the president's room and he goes what's this thing on this easel and the president goes that's a satellite that can take over any broadcast and and this is the stupidest thing i've ever heard because it's using particles to hijack the broadcast it's touching everyone technically what's this global broadcast satellite apparently it bays the landscape and a signal of particles that goes in and fiddles with any technology it touches you said touches the president specifically mentions by the way this satellite touches everyone that it broadcasts to which is first of all not how anything works it's not it's not really i don't know if that fulfills the wish crystal fulfillments if you gotta touch anyone but great now he has a way to touch everybody in the world with a satellite they said they reshot the third act and i imagine that this idea of the touch everybody satellite came out of nowhere it makes no sense so the climax of the movie is he wants he's going to touch everybody with a satellite makes no sense and you hear ever and he's like everybody telling me your wishes tell me your wishes you know because it's going to make me more powerful the more people who wish for stuff clearly these wishes are going to contradict each other it's nonsense and the writers know it's nonsense and that's why they don't address it clearly if you're addressing the entire world there's going to be one guy who goes i wish there was world peace i wish there was no nuclear weapons and then your entire thing about oh he started a nuclear war by giving the america's nuclear weapons goes out the window this is a first draft you needed to sit down with this stupid crystal which first of all i would not have made a movie about a stupid crystal but that was your stupid idea and you need to say what are the rules of the magic crystal how does it work what happens if multiple people make wishes how you can take back a wish is a thing that you can do apparently point is wonder woman shows up to fight a cat this [ __ ] movie is so stupid and she fights him in the golden armor you see the golden armor in the poster and you think oh this is gonna be interesting wonder woman has armor now where'd she get the armor i can't wait to hear the exciting story of where she got the armor she just has it for no reason she found it what's that the armor of an ancient amazon warrior one of our greatest she has it in the corner of her apartment and she wears it for no reason also okay she wears it in the final fight against the cat lady she doesn't even know the cat lady's gonna be there she just randomly says ah i don't know i guess i'll just throw my golden armor on for no reason because it'll look cool why don't you wear it all the time there's people online who are going with me and they're like well you know she was she knew this was going to be important well why wasn't it important before how about when she fought doomsday where was the armor that time the art it serves no point other than the cell action figures she shows up fights cat lady the cat lady who meanwhile again she has nothing to do with cats it's not like she's she even has a cat or she likes cats like you could have done anything to connect her to cats she just becomes a cat because she wanted to be powerful and at one point she says i wish i was an apex predator i want to be number one an apex predator like nothing there's ever been before okay why does that make you a cat that doesn't make any sense shows up fights the cat lady stupidest looking thing in the world all the special effects in this movie look like garbage goes in finds the guide the magic wishing crystal guy grabs him with the lasso oh by the way this is after she undoes her wish because you have everybody has to undo their wish or else the whole world collapses [Music] so she undoes her wish she kills her boyfriend so stupid and then convinces everybody in the world to undo their wish only you can save the day renounce your wish i've just been rambling there's nothing here there's nothing in this movie everybody in the world undoes their wish the evil bad guy realizes he loves his kid a lot and so he stops because his kid's about to die to the nuclear weapons and uh that's the end of this stupid nonsensical movie i just i just i feel nothing that came out of my mouth right now made any sense this movie makes no sense this is this is a first draft amateur rookie hour script okay this should not have been made the second you showed up and it's like how do we follow up the exciting events of wonder woman one where she fights nazis she fights ares the god of war what's gonna happen in the second one an oil man is gonna turn himself into a magic wishing crystal and start a nuclear war that she has to stop by convincing everybody to unwish their wish that's what you came up with of all the ideas that you could have had i don't i can't i don't know how you wrote this i really don't i really and i honestly i'm like did somebody write a completely different movie again about like a liar liar situation about a dad and his son and the dad goes too far and becomes a wishing crystal and they went can we turn this garbage into a wonder woman movie because we got nothing else this movie sucks it's not interesting it's not fun the jokes are bad the action is the action sucks it's whatever it's not a wonder woman fighting like somebody brought it up they're like it's wonder woman is it's greek gods and myths why doesn't she fight monsters and cool [ __ ] she's just fighting random secret service agents it's so boring and then she fights a cat uh i hated this movie i hated it i might do a more structured thing and put my thoughts in a more structured order there's so much wrong here that i can't get it all out and i've been ranting for 20 minutes about this terrible movie nothing in it works i watched it twice to make sure that i uh that i was right i was like this doesn't make any sense did i miss something i had to watch it twice i'm like no i didn't miss anything literally this movie makes no sense i i could barely stand sitting through it it's boring this movie is aggressively stupid it hurts my brain to watch i i don't understand how it got made i hate it and i'm very excited to learn that patty jenkins has just been approved to direct wonder woman three fan [ __ ] tastic great more of this hollywood rewards incompetence they go what you screwed it up every part of that movie was bad why don't you go make a sequel what is happening ladies and gentlemen thanks for watching uh we got more videos coming soon i might do a more in-depth review of this one i don't know i'm gonna see if i have time but oh lord oh lordy it's bad did you watch it was there anything in the movie you liked did the magic wishing crystal rules make any sense to you did you laugh and clap when a girl turned into a cat lady for no reason whatsoever let me know in the comments what you thought i thought it was bad i did not like it hollywood please do better please just put in the smallest amount of effort i beg of you have fun guys

Channel: Vito

Views: 178,552

Rating: 4.7551098 out of 5

Keywords: wonder woman, patty jenkins, wonder woman 1984 review, wonder woman 1984, gal gadot, wonder woman 1984 trailer, wonder woman trailer, wonder woman 1984 ending, wonder woman review, wonder woman ending, everything wrong with, mauler, movie review, ww84, wonder woman 84, wonder woman vs cheetah, wonder woman 1984 post credit scene, wonder woman armor, max lord, wonder woman flying, wonder woman song, wonder woman scene, worst movie, 2020 movie, Full review

Id: RqQmWI-RoQw

Length: 22min 53sec (1373 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 31 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/thefartblaster2000]

Is anybody else getting tired of 80s nostalgia bullshit?

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[u/shogodz89]

I'll save you the trouble of having to hear Vito struggle to breathe while he makes a point:

It sucked because a woman wrote it this time.

[u/Telephone_Antique]

Every superhero movie is manchild dogshit and its cool if adults with 60 iq wanna watch them but I never want to hear about them