Solo: A Moderate Cinematic Failure

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[Music] alright guys I finally checked out solo and I have to say no wonder this thing failed I mean look at it it's like six pages long all the sounds are terrible isn't it the worst thing ever wait solo was a movie oh crap alright let's start over alright I'm just kidding now look solo was an okay movie not great but definitely not as bad as I was expecting it would be turns out the guy who wrote both Empire Strikes Back and Raiders of the Lost Ark knows how to confidently structure a plot maybe when you were writing the final chapter in the saga of one of the most beloved pop culture icons of all time you should have got the guy who wrote two-thirds of that characters original arc and not the guy who wrote the Brothers Bloom it also turns out that when you fire the geniuses behind the greatest animated program of all time you can always depend on good old Richie Cunningham to limp your film over the finish line with slightly above mediocre results this bald bastard really knows how to put in that b-plus effort I tell you what now if solo was a normal movie there really wouldn't be much to talk about it's a slightly above average action movie with a few neat set pieces and Woody Harrelson but obviously solo is more than just another forgettable popcorn distraction it's a star wars movie and that's a label which carries a significant amount of weight more importantly it's the first Star Wars movie to actually lose money solo bombs so bad that King Disney himself said it was too much too fast and that we can expect some slowdown the movies terrible performance has put the entire future of the Star Wars cinematic universe into question and though Kathleen Kennedy has somehow held on to her job like a drunken ship captain clinging to the mast I have a suspicion that Rian Johnson's much-anticipated Star Wars trilogy might be on hold for a while so here's the real question why did solo bomb it's something I've thought about for a while and I honestly think there's only one answer Russian BOTS and what I really think is that Disney didn't stop to consider some of the problems inherent to a Star Wars Cinematic Universe and that George Lucas got one hell of a deal stealing four billion disney dollars from the cryogenically frozen hands of Walt himself we're thrilled that George has entrusted the future of his extraordinary legacy to the Walt Disney Company for me I look at it as I'm investing in Disney because that's my retirement funds sure on paper a Star Wars Cinematic Universe sounds like a great idea that Marvel Cinematic Universe is like a glowing portal to the money dimension and a everybody loves Star Wars how could you possibly screw it up but as I've talked about before Star Wars and Marvel are not the same thing and the Cinematic Universe concept honestly works much better with comic-book heroes than it does with 40-year old films featuring a locked-in continuity see comic books don't really care all that much about maintaining a fixed timeline for example originally mr. fantastic fought in World War two if that was true now he'd be like a hundred years old so obviously they just changed his origin story also he originally fell in love with Sue Storm when he was 20 and she was 13 and they changed that because Jesus Christ mr. fantastic robbing the cradle with is a big old stretchy arms your pervert pointees nobody actually cares about comic continuity because it's changing constantly at any point the writers can just have superboy-prime punch reality really hard altering the timeline and making it so Batman doesn't look like your grandpa and let's be clear that's exactly what's happening with this infinity war thing the remaining Avengers are going to use the pretty pretty princess gems to create a new alternate timeline for they no longer have to pay Robert Downey jr. 50 million dollars every time they make a movie but Star Wars has a set timeline and you can't really mess around with it it's not like you can just create a new universe where Luke Skywalker is a sassy black woman solvent space mysteries if you want to tell the story in the Star Wars universe you have to work within the established canon or at least what parts of it you haven't thrown out and therein lies the problem because as much as Disney wants to use established characters to draw in the audience they really have limited room to play around with those characters like if I make a Batman movie I can just invent a new Batman universe and nobody will care fuck them but if I make an obi-wan Kenobi movie I have to place it somewhere on the existing Star Wars timeline probably between Revenge of the Sith and a new hope but what story can you tell there that has any weight sure you could do another battle between him and Darth Vader well what would be the point we already know how both of their character arcs begin and end whereas with something like infinity war we have no idea what's going to have him everybody died they killed off Black Panther had hope he didn't expect that so adding more to the story of obi-wan or Darth Vader really isn't that exciting it would just be a pointless Side Story with nothing at stake see I'd argue that continuing to add needless backstory to characters and worlds we already know and love rarely makes those things better and in many cases an overabundance of exposition actually makes them worse which brings me to my main point now what I see is the biggest problem with Solo is the lighting I can't tell what's going on in half this why is it so dark just turn on the lights okay but seriously what I see is the biggest problem with Solo is a lack of respect for the importance of mystery something I would consider one of the most important aspects of a good story now I'm a man who loves mystery I mean not all mysteries like before we start making out I want to know what kind of equipment you're packing not that I'm even against penises I just needed some mental preparation time whatever see what I think made the original Star Wars movie so great is that it didn't feel the need to explain everything with many aspects of the universe only touched on for a brief moment what is a Jedi Knight who is Darth Vader is that Satan the Satan hang out in a space bar why these questions added depth to the Star Wars universe even if they weren't immediately explained because trust me Lucas had no goddamn idea what a clone war was when he wrote a new hope you fought in the Clone Wars it was just a neat line that gave us the sense that there was more to this universe than we were being shown now the sequels would eventually answer many of these questions which is good the audience wanted to know who darth vader was they wanted to know what the Jedi were all about etc these were important team attic questions which had actual bearing on the story but I'd argued that the reverse was true of the prequel which answered many questions that didn't really need answering who built c-3po what was Boba Fett like as a child and of course the most ruined mystery of all what is the force with E Florian's on a microscopic life-form that resides within all living cells they live inside me sure the rise and fall of Anakin Skywalker was a story many people were interested in but I honestly like the feeling of not knowing what a clone war was having to imagine what caused Anakin to turn against his master obi-wan and I really liked the narrative device of being dropped straight into Episode four of some epic saga it reminds me of the story of the Trojan War though we still have the Iliad in the Odyssey the other parts of that story have been lost to time I guess some moron burnt the sacred texts the sacred Jedi texts but again I understand that people wanted an anakin skywalker trilogy and i'm honestly okay with that concept even if what we eventually got was worse than any of us could have ever imagined but the mysteries of Anakin's rise and fall were actually intriguing whereas the story of how Han Solo met Chewbacca is not okay now here's the part where I talk about anime sorry let's just get it over with all right so there's this anime called Evangelion it's one of my favorite things in this world this is my Evangelion wallet this is my Evangelion Mighty Max playset and this is my Evangelion popcorn bucket I don't know why anybody would put popcorn in this hey Japanese people are crazy what are you gonna do now I'll try to avoid spoilers but Evangelion is basically about a bunch of giant monsters who want to make love to a fat alien Jesus and end all life on Earth the only thing that can defeat them are these giant robots and the only people who can pilot the robots are Japanese teenagers who get progressively mine lift across 26 episodes in a two-part movie now probably the most interesting part of the show are the countless mysteries surrounding these weird-ass robots and the children chosen to pilot them what do the monsters really want who is this weird albino chick why do we keep putting emotionally crippled kids inside the robots why don't you pilot the goddamn robot dad is it sick what you're doing point is all these questions are very interesting and as the show goes on you do get some of the answers however once you reach the final two episodes everything goes off the rails there's no more robots there's no more giant space monsters two half-hour installments of a sad kid sitting in a folding chair a bunch of nonsense about the true nature of humanity and then the whole thing ends with a bunch of people standing in a circle clapping what is this this doesn't make any sense did we win did we destroy the space monsters why are we clapping what did we do so after you watch those two weird-ass episodes you find out that there's a movie that supposedly wraps everything up so you watch the movie and at the end of it you go what the fuck was that everybody was just glowing and bleeding and screaming this show actually makes less sense now what the hell is going on now a lot of people watch Evangelion and they get pissed I get it they want more answers than the show is willing to give them a lot of people had the same reaction to lost though I'd argue JJ Abrams avoided giving answers because even he didn't know what the hell was going on luckily he learned his lesson stopped inventing random plot threads with absolutely no clue where they were going right you jackass but here's the thing as much as I and many others wanted to know all the secrets of Evangelion the truth is that they didn't really matter because the show was never really about giant robots fighting evil aliens nor was it about turning all of humanity into a giant bleeding space orb oh that's a spoiler whatever it is it doesn't make any sense it's not gonna matter it was the story of a young man exposed to the most raw and horrible deaths of human emotion and whether in the infinite ocean of psychological darkness he finds something worth believing in so while at first it was frustrating to not have all my questions answered once I accepted it my appreciation for the show actually grew I was able to focus on the real themes without the distraction of unnecessary exposition in the same way I argue that the original trilogy was never about x-wings or TIE fighters or light saber battles those movies were about a young boy who went looking for his destiny who bore witness to the sins of his father and had to decide whether or not to go down the same path they were also about a ruthless opportunistic smuggler who learned to overcome his selfishness and fight for a greater good who abandoned the obvious thematic weight of a name like solo or take care of yourself hi I guess it's what you're best at isn't and instead allowed himself to have friends allowed himself to love what I'm trying to say is I don't give a shit but we're Han Solo got his dice or his blaster or the Millennium Falcon I don't care how he met Chewbacca I don't care how he met Lando and I don't care what a Kessel run is I definitely don't need to know why his name is han Solo I just assumed it was a random space name which happened to have a relevant English definition who are you people I don't have people I'm on solo I'm also amour amour so long I'm on solo so really it's not that solo is a bad movie it's not what it offers is only of interest to the most die-hard fans the ones who consume endless YouTube videos about Kyber crystals and whatever else and I'm not knocking those fans because I've done plenty of hours of research on my favorite robot show but none of what I learned from the Japanese only PSP side story is good fodder for a movie and neither is anything in solo real quick let me give you a quote this is Roger Ebert talking about the terrible sequel to Stanley Kubrick's 2001 I felt that the poetry of 2001 was precisely in its mystery and that to explain everything was to ruin everything like the little boy who cut open his drum to see what made it bang that's the real point learning that Han Solo got friend-zoned by some chick who wanted to hop on Darth Maul's d-train is not interesting enough to be worth taking away the mystique of Han Solo's character in the same way the Alien franchise isn't made better by learning that the creature is the final byproduct of a space squid rating a god and a gay Android tinkering with the DNA of their monster baby a bit of mystery is a wonderful thing and filmmakers need to ask themselves whether solving those mysteries is truly going to make for a great news story hi or just damage the stories we already love with e Florian's on a microscopic life-form so did solo truly killed the Star Wars Cinematic Universe in a way yes it showed Disney that their planned to force out these turns it's such a rapid pace was just giving them hemorrhoids so they're slowing down hopefully solo showed them that they can't rely on nostalgic characters alone to bring in an audience and maybe that will lead to more original films like rogue one which took a creative risk and told the story with all new characters that seems to be what they're doing with the mandalorian a TV show about a new character who hopefully isn't Boba Fett's brother or something stupid like that do you remember it's going to take some serious work to undo the damage of the last Jedi but I'm cautiously optimistic this shake-up sounds like a good thing and maybe it really could save Star Wars but first they need to bring Luke Skye Walker back from the dead and let him pilot an x-wing right through kylo ren's frickin skull man just like boom headshot you know oh and you gotta bring back Ewoks man everybody loves a walks Episode nine Revenge of the Ewoks we're gonna save this Star Wars Cinematic Universe baby best movie ever hey guys thanks so much for watching my video right now I'm running a Kickstarter for a card game I created it's called enemy weapon if you like my sense of humor you're gonna love this game it's hilarious there's a link in the description please check it out I think you're gonna love it don't forget to Like and subscribe or whatever the heck else and of course may the force be with you [Music]

Info

Channel: Vito

Views: 788,827

Rating: 4.5781798 out of 5

Keywords: everything wrong with, the last jedi, worst movie ever, ruined star wars, worst star wars movie, the last jedi review, killed star wars, last jedi fan theories, why the last jedi is bad, last jedi analysis, what's wrong with, why holdo, why the last jedi, last jedi gotcha, star wars gotcha, star wars, solo, solo a star wars story, why solo sucks, how solo ruined, solo analysis, han solo movie, cinemasins, star wars cinematic universe, solo review, solo movie

Id: 65u_ls28hsY

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 14min 49sec (889 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 31 2018

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👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/AutoModerator 📅︎︎ Nov 06 2018 🗫︎ replies

It was actually ok, and probably would have done better as a winter release.

👍︎︎ 4 👤︎︎ u/x-r-q 📅︎︎ Nov 06 2018 🗫︎ replies

The movie wasn't that bad. TLJ should have been cancelled over this shit.

👍︎︎ 4 👤︎︎ u/RoyBrown777 📅︎︎ Nov 06 2018 🗫︎ replies

It was a really unneccesairy movie.

👍︎︎ 3 👤︎︎ u/hail_the_shitpope 📅︎︎ Nov 06 2018 🗫︎ replies

The point about mystery (not the J.J. Abrams type, mind you) is absolutely spot-on.

I'm in my early 40's, so maybe the "get off my lawn" is creeping up on me. But, I feel that too many current films are far too blunt, overly obvious, and lack nuance. There is an unfortunate failure to feed the theater of the mind, too understand that sometimes less is more.

A perfect example is TLJ, actually. How often in that turd did the dialogue do nothing more than insultingly describe what was literally happening on the screen? (I use this as an example of how arrogant Rian Johnson is, how condescendingly he views his audience) Snoke's death scene drove me to near apoplexy. What's so great about the character saying one thing then the opposite happening? Is that supposed to be subverting expectations? What kind of special needs simpleton didn't see that coming the moment Snoke started his taunting rant? It was a subtle as a softball bat to the crotch.

Gah!

EDIT: However, I have to disagree about a possible Kenobi stand-alone. There's almost twenty years to work with, and Ewan is the right age. His Obi-Wan is one of the most popular characters in the SW universe. Maybe he has to somehow save Luke and the other moisture farmers from Jabba the Hutt or some other dastardly bastard, and all without drawing attention to his Jedi self. Hell, in A New Hope, Luke obviously has met Ben before, so it's not like a young Luke couldn't be involved. Not saying these ideas are good, but an Obi-Wan film, while not necessary, could be made into something special.

👍︎︎ 3 👤︎︎ u/GonzoStrangelove 📅︎︎ Nov 06 2018 🗫︎ replies

I really liked Solo though. Should have given TFA to Kasdan and Ron Howard, JJ is a soulless hack.

👍︎︎ 2 👤︎︎ u/heisenfgt 📅︎︎ Nov 07 2018 🗫︎ replies