How Did Your Parents Mess You Up? (r/AskReddit)

how did your parents rent you up my mom insists on guilt trips and emotional martyrdom my dad is emotionless the former produces the latter comparing me to everyone now I do it and have very low self-esteem when I realized my mom was doing this to me I asked her how she would feel if I started comparing her to other moms she seemed to feel what it was like to be in my shoes when I told her that my mom can't resist gossiping and generally criticizing people places and things pretty much a constant flow of negativity so guess who at 25 has to make a concerted effort not to always criticize things this guy my mother grew up in communist China in an effort to make sure my sister and I didn't grow up into spoiled brats who didn't understand the small pleasures in life we would spend a lot of time with our maternal grandparents who lived in the Chinese countryside in a subsistence farmers no electricity no heating no running water no paved roads etc it worked I grew up loving the countryside the farm work the natural beauty the tight-knit community etc and I am such a penny pincher my mother actually begs me to spend more money on the myself I've been wearing a jacket with a hole in it for years because I feel like I can't justify buying a new one when the current one can still be worn my laptop hasn't had a functioning sound card for a year but I still use it because I can type my homework and read websites when I got my license my parents wanted to buy me a brand new car which I turned down and so on basically they made me a Scrooge man my parents are just like this you have to realize that you're saving your money up for literally nothing I like to call this behavior drag owning never let me play video games as a child now I'm in engineering school and I'm useless as Super Smash Brothers over 30 million children and the u.s. never learned how to Wafaa - donate today and bring these children out of a scrublord environment into a pro home by not splitting up when their marriage had gone to crap staying together for the kids rarely helps a lot of times the kids might actually prefer their parents divorce when two married people are clearly unhappy it seeps into everything and makes home life difficult my parents deliberately taught me the barnyard animals wrong when I was a toddler they swapped ponies and cows chickens and pigs goats and sheep and others I was very confused when I got that toy that spins the arrow to an animal and makes the animal noise I would say mommy the cow doesn't say Moo I still occasionally hesitate with goats and sheep if you were praised for being smart as a child and now feel crippling sensations of guilt and inadequacy when you don't immediately understand all know how to do something clap your hands clap clap I respect my parents more than anyone in my life and they've earned that respect as far as I'm concerned but those same decisions that made it that way took a serious toll on my mental health since I was about 8 my dad died on 9/11 zero one in the exact way you'd think based on the date he was a newly promoted FDNY captain and as such he was moving around a lot between fire houses and I get to know all the guys my whole life I had been to the firehouse for every holiday I'd barbecue with the guys and I even tapped a keg for the Christmas party in 2000 well when 9/11 happened I don't want to give away any identifying information but our firehouse was hit really hard as a kid who has been meeting his dad's friends his whole life up to age eight and one day three stroke four of them are dead your dad's dead and your entire family is shaken up telling you to turn off the TV and your grandma whispers he might hear something obviously I don't blame my parents for 9/11 I don't blame my dad for being a fireman or his dad for passing on the tradition I don't blame him for being at work that day or for going in but there will always be a weird line of questioning in my life that goes something like what did he think about when he went in did he think about us was my dad suicidal when you're in the middle of a national tragedy at a young age it's a scar on your life that wasn't helped by the fact that this was simultaneously a family death a work incident an act of war a homicide and a national tragedy with a hint of suicide I've met a lot of people who were my age when it happened 21 now isn't that kind of weird and they all turn into old souls when it's brought up some people get weird at the thought of going to a funeral awake but we've all been to dozens of services mostly memorials I know I've personally been to about 100 and it never stops no one will ever forget to wish me a spiritual day or whatever basically the whole thing gave me a really screwed up view on life and death coupled with the fact that I was going to the funerals of my dad's friends and of my friend's dad's more often than any eight-year-old should be sometimes I wonder if he just ran away and used the whole thing as a way to get out at this point he's more a collection of stories and loose memories that might have never happened so I can never rule this out though it seems unlikely I'm told I look just like him but I wouldn't recognize him at this point by repeated ongoing sexual abuse after my dad got caught with my sister he waited for things to cool off and then moved on to me they did their best but as the old saying goes you don't get a choice in freaking up your kids you just get a choice in how you freak them up I was basically avoidant until I got married and even now it's still more comfortable for me to deal with my own crap than bring someone else into it my dad got a dog when I was eight as a way to sink his claws into my brother and me my parents were divorced and he knew we didn't want to visit him on account of the drug use and violent mood swings I can't tell you how many times he called us to tell us he was going to have our dog put down have my stepdad adopt us and moved to Florida well he would never see him again just to make us cry he beat our dog constantly not because he didn't do anything wrong but because he could the dog was my everything when I was too scared to sleep he laid with me and comforted me he was more understanding caring and empathetic than any person I've ever met I always tried my best to protect him even though I was too little on Sunday my dad called me to tell me my dog wasn't doing so well something told me that out of the countless times he had called to tell me my dog was dying just to make me upset that he was telling the truth immediately I called out of work booked a train ticket and went home what I found was an emaciated half-dead pitbull lying on the living room floor wearing a freaking diaper he was so weak he couldn't hold his own head up and his nostrils had crusted over he hadn't eaten or drank water in days right then and there I made an appointment at the vet and didn't give my dad a choice he had tortured me in this dog for over 17 years but now I'm calling the shots it when you love someone you let them go you don't let em suffer and die in pain you let them go with what little dignity they have left I will never be the same because of what I saw on that living room floor and I will never forget the sounds of his last breaths not being able to communicate properly and threatening suicide since I was six as a result I'm reluctant to let women into my life for fear that they're as unstable as my mother or they will meet my mother and think that I'm as insane as she is yet I don't think you and a girl I liked at a time would work out very well I always figured you'd want to be with someone more like your mom a family friend number not buddy nope nope nope heck no number my dad was a vocal opponents to a rising dictator and we had to flee the country how can I turn a blind eye to any injustice I see when I have to live up to my father's shadow I thank him every day for giving me a high target at it my parents never made me do anything so I did nothing they're Catholic I had a Popish book as a kid called the Jolly postman in which a mailman delivers letters to a bunch of people and each of the people on his route got an actual physical letter that you could take out of an envelope and read one of them was a witch unbeknownst to me my parents removed the letter to the witch and replaced it with their own hand letter from Jesus and a prayer card asking the witch to change her ways and follow him a long story short the first time I got a boner I thought that was God's punishment for thinking about naked people never taught me anything about finances wouldn't even talk about it in front of me now I am sidled with crazy student loan debt and I just get dumbfounded at my bills I know it was just their way of keeping me from worrying which I did way too much as a kid anyway but now I have no idea what makes for normal finances also my dad committed suicide the summer I turned 20 so I was pretty self-destructive for a while they playfully made fun of me a lot I didn't like it though it made me insecure even though I'm a skinny and okay looking person same here especially about music when I got the guts as an adult to pursue it had turned out that I'm actually a pretty decent singer despite having had gigs and the like I'm still nervous practicing at home because I half expect someone to start asking me what I'm doing to that cat they should have let me do more things on my own I wasn't able to cook breakfast until I was 13 and I'm afraid at 18 to call for a doctor's appointment they should also have made me watch less TV sure I would have hated them but I'm thinking acting like the people I saw on TV made me terribly anxious I don't blame them though for this I was an immature kid who should have left that fantasy world sooner also they made fun of me for being sad because my crush wasn't interested in me my dad yelled a lot loud scary yelling so now I'm afraid of being in trouble I guess now I hide from my problems a lot more than I should because I don't want to get yelled at I get that spilling a drink was a huge deal getting an A in class not so much so I'll learn to hide and lie about anything bad and didn't really try to do good because there really wasn't any difference I was rarely rewarded but frequently chastised my mom was an alcoholic and my dad was a financially manipulative verbally and emotionally abusive maniac with physical tendencies I had a great childhood they don't understand me and they never tried to they never gave me the love or encouragement parents are known for and worst of all they brought me up teaching me that girls can't do what boys can my father constantly told me I was fat at a teen I wasn't also his favorite phrase was that's not good enough if I forgot something did an ace a test screwed up a note playing an instrument didn't eat all my dinner that's not good enough I still have body image issues and struggle with perfectionism my parents split when I was 5 moved across the country my mother remarried to a guy with kids grew up in a small house with six brothers received no hugs only criticism because I was her eldest only interaction I've ever had with women has been romantic interest so I can't make friends with women probably due to both for those reasons even though I'm a confident charismatic and extroverted person I feel like there's a part to women in missing and just generally feel lost and hopeless in so many ways I was born and raised in an extremely Christian environment attended church every Sunday was present at youth groups and conferences was there for lunches at the church sometimes held after services attended VBS for many many years and even helped out with many of them when I got older you get the idea very devout Christian family everything was okay until I became a teenager and when my mother became the children's pastor at our current church she caused a lot of turmoil in a toxic relationship that I had which I had no clue as toxic and was the only person I had at a time became angry when she found out I was Becky rias at one point and refused to get me professional help even though I told her I was depressed for a year and was suicidal and sought after self-harm to seek relief from the pain I was enduring it took me telling a teacher that I was going to overdose one night and having said teacher escort me to the hospital to get my mother to allow me to get antidepressants which I'm still on today I have not seen a counselor or therapist for my problems even though I've brought it up because if I go it will just explode into another fight I've tried so many times to be real about my feelings to her only to be shut down by blunt replies or ones that are not supportive in the slightest she frequently tells me that my only friends which are online ones due to my social anxiety don't actually care about me she constantly criticizes me for almost anything and about two months ago found out I was agnostic atheist and nearly kicked me out of the house when I had no job or source of income about two to three weeks ago she told me to take a plastic bag and tie it over my head and said she was taking my brother to see someone for his depression but yet she never gave me that opportunity I legitimately hate my parents more specifically my mother I just wish she could have have accepted me and taken me as I am but instead she has to live with an angry and resentful daughter who will want nothing to do with her mother once she moves out please any parents reading this I know you may not agree with some things your children do believe in all will possibly become but please they need to know you're there for them and that you love them just the same no matter what happens the best thing to do in my eyes is offer your full support to them letting them know you're there and behind them 100% even if they may shrug you off sometimes also as a side note if your child admits to something being wrong don't shrug it off and tell them to pray about it if there's a recycle don't tell them to just do it in if your child feels endangered of harming themselves in any way please get them professional help immediately thank you I pretend the first 10 years of my life never happened put me on adderall and Ritalin when I was 510 that alone flicked me up pretty bad stepdad locked me in the basement with no light and no way out and strapped me to a chair for hours on end when I did things he didn't approve of he also our ped my sister and caused me and her to be split up into separate homes that left me all alone with him my mom and his evil children I had guns pointed at me been shot with more BBS than I can remember and still have one stuck in my face an inch below my eye once for a little over a month I was forced to sleep in the basement because all the other problems led me to be a bed wetter and I tried my hardest to stop it but I literally could not feel myself go when I'm asleep there was nothing I could do eventually my real dad got custody of me and had to wean me off the meds and finally at age 12 I could develop as a person of my own instead of what my stepdad wanted me to be I honestly still have no idea why he was so incredibly mean to me his entire family hated me and my sister and we never found out why most of those memories I forget about ever now and again I remember some things and it makes my blood boil and a few times I've contemplated going there and showing him a thing or two but I've got my own people to take care of and I couldn't bear them to watch me become someone on his level but the things I'd do to that man if I wasn't so adamant on being good you know how some people are good and some are bad people like me struggle to be good because they want to be we want to set an example that even though you've been through dark times and your natural state and mindset is dark you can still be a beacon of light my mom sided with him through all of this we have no idea why me and my sister are actually just now starting to talk to my mother again after she says she wants a divorce from our stepdad no one that I've met in the past 15 years know about this there's actually a lot of other things he did that I could list if this gets enough upvotes I'll share part of me believes that people should know that evil like this exists by freaking me up dad would beat the crap out of me for well just about anything spent most of my days sitting outside waiting for my mom to call the cops after he our peds sister - she didn't call neither any other times after the first after he brought a gun into the house and started threatening us she didn't call after countless beatings countless crimes and countless nights of Tears she didn't call sister one called in the end cops came life in prison plus never allowed to step foot in the country after sentence is served means 12 years Plus never coming back to the country the family was more than just broken by this point fast forward two years sister one goes alcoholic the other goes into drugs Mumba rates sister one about drinking but tells sister - it's okay it's only a little weed sister one moves away from here quits drinking and gets her crap together super awesome to have as a sister bTW sister - still not clean this was over 17 years ago she's all kinds of fricked up mum spends most of her days pretending like everything was dad's fault even the more than seventeen years that has passed since me well I buggered out early lost my first apartment and spent some time homeless got my crap together went back to school and stopped feeling sorry for myself quit smoking weed etc met a super nice girl she saved me from everything currently living in nice town house VP at small-scale IT business looks like I will be taking over in five years time working my butt off to one day be able to spoil my girl rotten it's a really long and really crappy story and I'm sorry if it's all over the place I've emitted a lot of details sorry won't go into some things I still resent my mum for a lot of things she's done even minus the violence at least I can be proud that I turned out okay in the end if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] [Music] bye for now [Music]

Channel: Internet Is Fun

Views: 33,707

Rating: 4.9211822 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, emkay, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, askreddit school, r/askreddit how to, reddit parents, parents of reddit, parent stories, parents, parenting

Id: wt-BxoErU0g

Length: 19min 35sec (1175 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 13 2019