Horrible Histories - Gorgeous Georgians | Compilation

this isn't just Stilton this is Georgian Stilton with methods so thick you'll need a spoon to scoop them up this isn't just bread this is Georgian bread mixed with chalk and bone ashes to make it look healthy and white and this isn't just milk this is Georgian milk diluted with dirty water thrown from windows and mixed with spittle snot tobacco trash lice and baby sick dropped from the rags of the nasty women that sell it this is not just food this is Georgian food what is lovely you should try it sometime mind you our bad diet did give us Georgians terrible teeth yo rarely didn't want to problems in Georgian times they hardly invented painkillers back then so they used to just strap you to a chair to stop you running off and you thought your dentist was me this won't hurt much wait this really is your first visit to a Georgian dentist didn't it yes don't worry we've got you all strapped in we'll get that rotten tooth out in no time sorry can I just ask before you take it out what exactly are you going to replace it with Oh something very urgent I'll model you a new one from this clay ah pottery tooth when that just break yes that can sometimes be a problem I could make one out of this walrus tusk walrus tusk it is a tooth yeah I suppose but when it stink of fish we also make them from hippo yeah I had my mind on something a little more human another problem got just the thing uh-huh that's more like it an actual human tooth indeed pulled from the mouths of dead soldiers at Waterloo oh stop I don't want a taste that's dead mm-hmm well I do have something I say for my best customers and they're in luck it's just got one tooth left do you know what I'm cured it's a marvel in fact that my tooth doesn't hurt anymore at all thank you [Music] funny one of my clients gorgeous Georgians we Georgians came up with the idea of making Yorkshire puddings out of better and that's not the only bright idea we had the hand is your serum I win again huzzah let's play again Oh sandwich only this time I shall beat you fart oh we shall soon see about that I find myself a tad peckish old boy cook yes you know chip which means to meet dashed inconvenient but methinks I shall have to stop playing cards in order to eat unless I steal some of your fine bread be my guest the bread stops my hand from getting greasy from the meat ergo I can eat with one hand while still playing cards with the other nah I think you might be onto something else sandwich we should name it a sandwich after you a sandwich my good cook I would like one of those sandwiches sandwiches so we've only got the leftovers we usually feed to the dogs such as hoobs snouts tails guts private parts oh well why not mince it all up shove it into some intestines boil the living daylights out of it and then stick it in a bun of course barren hotdog I think I'm going to throw up fetch me a bucket certainly Lord Toki of twizzler yes it really was Earl Sandwich who gave his name to the sandwich but he wasn't the first person to eat things between pieces of bread the Romans were doing that about 2000 years before so we should probably call it a sandwiches because that's if you put a nurse on the ends of words it makes you sound Roman and uh please yourselves posh Georgians like old sandwich loved playing cards poor Georgians had some much weirder ways of amusing themselves at a fair in County Durham one of the sideshows was a man eating what was it a alive hamster be a wooden cart wheel or see a live coral the answer is C the man ate a cockerel alive feathers entrails and all in Georgian times Britain developed the strongest Navy in the world but they needed lots of people to man all the ships these days I'm a successful Georgian sailor working in the Royal Navy but not so long ago I was a lazy no-good drunken lowlife bit like this lad you're my best mate my story could be your story too would you like the chance to sail the seven seas get whipped whenever the captain feels like it have your injured limb hacked off with a saw by a drunk doctor or eat biscuits teeming with creepy crawlies no well tough this is the 1700s so we'll just wait until you're too drunk to stand then one of our press gangs will kidnap you and take you on board the Georgian Royal Navy bravely defending Britain's Empire with some people found lying on the floor of the local tavern [Music] so onboard ships the doctor would hack off your arm with a saw and Georgian doctors weren't much better on land [Music] is falling rapidly is in tachycardia don't worry you'll be okay wait a sec you're not a proper doctor no I am dr. Montero fossil Peck master of Georgian medicaments this poor creature is in dire need of my many medical skills what manner of misfortune has befallen this fellow well his misfortune is high fever falling pulse timely leave the diagnosis to me sir it is obvious this man is suffering from the tumor there is but one pure I shall need some ground-up nice some sugar nutmeg and a flask of fresh fill this flask with your finest urine young buck and I shall need some water what's this fear of water he must also be suffering from the rabies the occur for this malady is quite simple I shall need the hair of the home first pick him the hair of the hound that first bitten well that'll never work impertinent as you are young fellow you might be right I have it will add more urine go to it sir sir an Saunders we didn't just have silly wigs in Georgian times we also had some silly tax laws and now it's time for our fairy tale series where all the stories are retold in different historical settings today The Three Little Pigs the Georgian version and the wolf huffed and puffed and blew the stick house down so the little pigs run as fast as their little trotters would carry them to their little piggy brother's house which was made a very strong break her heart this was Georgian times and the little piggy in the brick house had bricked up all his windows so he wouldn't have to pay the new window tax which meant he didn't see his little piggy brothers and they were both eaten up by the big bad wolf the end it's many Georgian people bricked up their windows like this to avoid the window tax we Georgians had silly taxes because we had stupid politicians and we had stupid politicians because we had silly elections how to vote in a Georgian election number one turn up at the polling station number two go home if you're a woman number three go home if you don't own any property property yes but you're still a woman and therefore feeble-minded go home number four check that one of the candidates is the lord of the menace son are you the lord of the manor son daddy am I the Lord yes you are yes I'm number five vote for the Lord of the manors Sam well if I don't want it you have to there are no other candidates so hang on isn't voting supposed to be secret certainly not we have to make sure you voted for my son and finally congratulate your new Member of Parliament congratulations thank you now give me all your money I've just put the taxes up that's my boy [Music] Horrible Histories a gorgeous georgian lady is quite a sight to see for some splendid beauty tips pay attention listen to me why tears beautiful dear ladies smear your face with paint of let never mind the net has made the men who mixed it heal or dead take some silk of red or black cut a circle or a crescent stick it to your face to cover small pox scars it's much more pleasant shave your eyebrows clean away take a trap and catch some mice make full size rouse with the mouse Kim stick them on you'll look so nice [Music] next you need a monster wig if you want to look real smashing when your wig has reached the roof then you'll be the height of fashion decorate your lovely Happy's use the feathers of a parrot add some ribbons fruit and flowers from your ear then hang a parrot make your face look soft and chubby pack your mouths with balls of hope hang your false teeth in the middle hope you don't choke when you talk now you followed my advice last of all you need a fair flutter it Oh sodium muley then you're sure to pack your man [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Horrible Histories

Views: 386,030

Rating: 4.88375 out of 5

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Id: FM0OO-_CG-g

Length: 13min 49sec (829 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 03 2019