[Mark]: We're so cute! [laughs] [Wade]: It's time for some Chicken Horse!
[Others exclaiming] [Mark]: Yay! Are all of our characters going to die?
[Jack]: I have no idea how to play this. [Bob]: I don't know what this game is.
[Mark, in a thick Midwestern accent]: Oh, geez. Oh, gosh. [Wade]: Um...welp, it's borked.
[Jack, as Mark laughs]: It looks like I'm holding a penis! [Wade, as the others laugh]: Uh... Oh. Press Y.
[Mark]: Yeah. [Wade]: You can pick--oh, okay.
[Bob, in the background]: Ohhh. [Mark]: Are we helping each other, or are we, like, trying to stop each other?
[Wade]: No. You want to be the only one to win. [Wade]: However, do you guys see the box with the question mark?
[Mark]: Yeah. [Wade]: We want-- we do wanna work together to get that, because that unlocks new stuff that we can use next time. [Mark]: What is that, Bob?! Is that a door?
[Bob]: No. [Mark]: What is that?!
[Laughter in the background] [Mark]: You guys are so dumb!
[Jack]: Yeah! [Mark]: Aah! How the--
[Jack screams] [Mark]: Shit. [screams]
[Jack]: God damn! [Wade]: Ha! Got it!
[Jack, in the background]: God dang. [Bob]: Oh, shit!
[Jack]: No! I died. [All]: What?! No!
[Bob]: Oh, my God. [Mark]: It's so stupid!
[Jack]: I'll die with you guys. [All laughing]
[Wade]: You didn't have to die there. You can actually jump up the wall. [Mark, screaming]: He wanted to be with us! Let him live--I mean die. Let him die. [Bob laughing]
[Jack]: God dammit. [Wade]: Well, okay, then.
[Jack]: Is this another game where Wade is better than all of us? [Wade]: I only won one round!
[Mark]: Oh! Oh, my God. Oh, wow. [Mark]: Oh, shit, do I have--why did that blow up? [Jack]: Wait, I'm not even on the thing anymore. What happened?
[Mark]: I don't know! [Bob]: Oh, God.
[Jack]: Why did the bomb blow up in the making? [Mark]: I don't know!
[Wade]: Because the bomb destroys things that you, like-- [Wade]: It destroys props you already placed.
[Mark]: Oh, no! [Bob]: Oh, God!
[Wade screams as Mark laughs] [Wade]: Oh, no.
[All exclaiming] [Mark]: [soft grunts] Yeah! I found a way around! [All periodically cheering]
[Mark]: I found a cheat! Yeah! [Jack]: Oh, no!
[Mark]: Come on, Bob! [Wade]: Yeah, Bobby!
[All]: Yeah! Yes! [Bob]: No! Yes!
[Mark]: Friends forever! [Bob laughs]
[Wade]: Yay! [Jack groaning in the background, presumably at his piss-poor performance] [Mark]: Nice.
[Bob]: All right, we're going to have to fix that bullshit. [Mark]: I don't know how. How do we fix any of this bullshit? [Mark]: ...just put this right there.
[Wade]: Bob, are you gonna destroy the thing I just pla-- [Wade]: Okay, good. You know.
[Mark]: Oh! [Bob]: What? What? How--? Oh.
[Mark]: So the bo-- Oh! I ge--I get what the bomb do. [Wade]: Yeah. [Jack]: Ah, fuck! Dammit!
[Bob]: Oh, God! Oh, God! [Mark, laughing]: Oh. So if I touch those fan blades... [Mark]: Yep! That's--that's not good!
[All laughing and exclaiming] [Mark, laughing]: God dang.
[Jack]: I thought that Wade knew what he was doing. [Bob]: That was unclear. That was super unclear. [All exclaiming, Jack particularly disappointedly]
[Mark]: Yeah, this is crap. [Wade]: Guys, I've got the advantage for one round! Just give me this.
[Mark]: Oh, come on! [Mark, laughing]: Your trap is bullshit.
[Jack]: No! Fuck you. [Wade laughs]
[Mark]: Problem is, I don't know what half of these things do. [Jack]: Yeah!
[Bob]: You want to see some shit, Wade? [Wade]: What're you--What're you doing, Bob?
[Mark, laughing]: Oh, God, no, Bob! [Bob]: Come on, you guys!
[Jack]: Oh, Bob. [Jack]: What the fu--Bob just teleported! [Jack]: Yay! I did it!
[Mark]: Dammit. Dangit. [Wade]: Well, now we're all gonna win, so nobody gets any points! [Mark, Bob, and Jack all exclaiming]
[Mark]: Ha-ha, Bob! Eat dicks. [Wade]: No points!
[Bob]: I didn't realize that was going to happen. [Bob]: Why--why did that is happen?
[Mark]: Yeah, Wade, you seem to assume that... [Mark]: ...we know the rules here.
[Wade]: Oh. Uh...hey, guys, there's rules. [Mark]: Oh, shut up.
[Bob]: Eat shit, everybody. [Wade]: Wait, what did I pick?
[Mark]: How do I rotate something? [Bob, laughing]: Uh, Mark, right and left bumper is what it is for you. [Jack]: Fuck you, Bob.
[Bob]: Oh, Jack--[stutters] Wade's gonna destroy the-- [Wade]: What in the world?! Okay! Now that's a thing!
[All laughing] [Jack]: God dammit, dudes!
[Mark]: Well. [Jack]: I finally won one, and now you're dicking me over. [Mark]: Ain't this a...this is a thing.
[Bob, laughing]: So, uh... [Mark, laughing]: So...are we just--are we just waiting... [Mark]: ...for everyone else to fail?
[Wade screams] [Jack]: Now we're all fucked.
[Wade, Bob, and Mark laughing] [Bob]: Okay, I guess I'm going down here.
[All laughing and exclaiming] [Wade, laughing]: Well, there's no--no--there's nothing to--
[Jack]: No way! [Wade]: Screw it! [grunts as he's killed]
[Jack]: No way! [Mark]: There's a way!
[Jack]: Now you've made it too hard. I'm gon--I'm gonna-- [Jack]: I'm gonna just dance. I'm gonna just stand here and dance. [Wade]: I died.
[Jack, high-pitched]: What's up? [Wade]: I "sudokued" myself. [Mark, haughtily]: Uh, it's "seppuku."
[Bob]: I don't, um... [Jack]: "Septiceye-ku"?
[Bob]: I don't think that's possible anymore. [Wade]: Nope.
[Jack]: No. Fuckin' hell. [Bob]: I'm just gonna guess--
[Wade, with others laughing in background]: Jack--Jack... [Wade]: ...joined me in death!
[Mark]: No! I can live! [Bob]: Wait, wait, Mark--Mark, come here.
[Mark]: I want to live! [screams] [Bob]: Mark, come here! Mark, come here! I want to tell you something. Mark, come here. [Mark]: What? Huh? [Mark makes kissing noises into the microphone]
[Bob]: Wha--no, you did this. [Mark continues making kissing noises]
[Bob]: No, you made this happen. [Mark continues making kissing noises]
[Wade, confused as always]: What? What is happening? [Mark continues making kissing noises]
[Bob starts laughing] [Mark continues making kissing noises]
[Wade]: What is happening?! Stop! [Mark, as Bob laughs in the background]: Oh, I'm so shy.
[Jack]: Hold "B" to give up. [Mark continues making kissing noises]
[Jack]: Can--[shouting] Hold "B" to give up, man! [Mark continues making kissing noises]
[Wade and Bob laugh] [Mark continues making kissing noises]
[Jack]: I don't like this. [Mark makes kissing noises, then screams]
[Wade]: Stop! Please! [Bob]: It's zooming in on it... [All laughing]
[Wade, still laughing]: No... [Jack groans, annoyed at his own performance]
[All calming down a bit] [Wade]: Oh, my God.
[Jack]: God damn it I have no points. [Bob]: Well, at least Wade hasn't won yet.
[Mark]: It's good, though! [Jack]: Okay, um...pressing the "Y" button brings up my pause screen.
[Bob]: Whatcha doin' with that, Wade? [Jack]: Okay, there we go.
[Wade, in response to Bob]: Gettin' rid of that. [Jack]: Nice. Thank God. [Wade]: Oh, come on. [sighs dejectedly]
[Bob and Mark start laughing] [Jack]: No! No!
[Wade and Bob cheer and laugh] [Mark, laughing]: Come on! What, it's gonna be too easy now!
[Jack]: No! No! NO! [Wade]: No! God-- [Mark]: Yes!
[Mark and Bob celebrating and laughing] [Jack]: No!
[Wade, laughing]: Bob! [Mark]: Yeah! Attaboy, Bob! Attaboy!
[Bob]: You guys are just idiots. I got the solution. Just wait. [Bob]: You ready for this?
[Jack]: What're you--[cut off by Wade screaming] [Mark, with Wade groaning in the background]: I'm so ready.
[Bob]: I've got the solution, bitches! [All exclaiming]
[Mark]: Damn! Damn! [Jack, screaming]: No!
[Mark]: Damn! [Mark shrieks]
[Bob]: Get rekt! Get rekt! [Mark]: Oh, fuck! Ah, shit. God dammit.
[Others laughing] [Jack]: Fucking...fuck...was that?
[Mark]: Fuck it! [Bob]: Ah, I figured it'd do that!
[Mark, shouting]: Hold "B," dickbag! [Jack]: Yes! Yes! I win, too! I win, too!
[Wade]: Oh, God, no, not-- [Jack]: It's all on me! The camera's on me!
[All laughing] [Wade]: Oh, God.
[Jack]: Fuck it. [Wade]: Look at this.
[Mark, in a thick Irish accent]: Fuck it. [Bob, mockingly]: I'm smarter than all of you.
[Mark]: Yeah, yeah, I almost did the thing. [Mark]: I almost did it.
[Jack]: I tried to do it, and I failed miserably. [Wade]: Wow, Bob.
[Jack]: But no points! [Mark]: Okay.
[Bob]: Rek, rek, rek, rek, rek, rek, rek, rek! [Bob and Mark, almost simultaneously]: What is that?
[Mark]: What is that? [Bob]: That arrow's, like, a block?
[Jack]: That's a barrel. It's a barrel. [Bob]: I still believe this is accomplishable.
[Jack, laughing]: You--you--your character's just... [Jack]: ...lookin' at it, like, "What the fuck is that?!"
[Bob]: "What is this? What is that?" [Jack, laughing]: "What is that?" [Jack]: Oh, thank you, Bo--er, Wade.
[Mark]: Very narrow window of success-- [Wade, screaming]: Bob, why do you do this?!
[Bob laughing maniacally in the background] [Wade, still screaming]: Where did you come from?!
[Others laughing] [Wade, still screaming]: Bob!
[Others laughing] [Jack, screaming]: God, no! The fuck!
[Mark and Bob laughing] [Wade, still screaming]: Bob! [Jack]: Oh, yes! Yes! Yes! Fuck you, bitches!
[Mark]: [screams] Ow! I got killed b-- [Mark]: Oh, God, my dead body! Oh, God!
[Jack]: Yeah! [Mark, laughing]: Dead sheep...
[All laughing; Wade cheering] [All laughing]
[Jack]: Are you dead? Yeah! [Bob]: I didn't realize you were dead! I was, like, "What're you do--" [Mark]: Yeah, yeah...
[Wade]: Oh, I thought you were so close, too, Mark! [All laughing]
[Mark]: Very dead. Nope, very dead. Very dead, yep. Very dead. [Jack]: Yes! Now I'm not last.
[Bob]: Oh, my God. [Mark]: Augh, shut up. I--I made my own demise.
[Wade clucks like a chicken] [Jack]: The chicken is the ultimate chicken. Mark, you came last. [Mark, screaming]: Shut up! I know I came last! It's okay! It's 'cause I wanted it. [Mark]: I meant to be bad. Anytime I'm bad, that meant bad. [Jack]: Stop jumping!
[Wade]: God, Bob, why is there always someone like you... [Wade]: ...that I play with, Bob, that has to be the ultimate jerk at the very end of the round? [Bob]: I am the ultimate Chicken Horse. Deal with it. [Wade]: Oh, there's--did you gu--there's multiple pages of traps. I didn't see that. [All exclaiming]
[Jack]: Where do we start? Oh, God, there's saw blades?! [Mark]: Augh, that's awesome!
[Jack, evilly]: Yes! [Jack, still evil]: Yes!
[Mark]: Oh, that's so cool! [Wade]: But wait, we--s--so wait, somebody--somebody has to give us a path! [Jack]: No! No!
[Wade]: No, we-- [Mark laughing evilly]
[Wade, annoyed]: Oh, God. [Mark and Bob laughing]
[Jack]: How is anybody gonna make that?! [Mark]: [screams] I got this! [screams]
[Mark and Bob laugh] [Wade screams like a chicken]
[Mark]: How did you jump so far?! You can sprint?! [Jack]: I can't move!
[Bob]: Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa! [Jack]: My character can't move!
[Mark]: How do you sprint?! [Wade]: Right trigger.
[Jack]: Right trigger's not working. [Mark]: Augh, you don't guys tell us how to play! [Bob]: Jack, how ya' doin'?
[Jack]: I can--my character won't move. [Bob]: Yeah, you gonna tell--
[Jack]: I can pause the game, but my character won't move. [Wade]: Oh, no. Jack, try using WASD. [Jack]: ...Nope.
[Wade]: Well, uh, okay. [Bob]: Just kill yourself?
[Wade]: Yeah, online's just a little bit too borked still. [Wade]: We might have to restart again.
[All scream in annoyance] [Jack]: ...I ended game.
[Wade]: Oh, wait, can you move now? [Jack, insistently]: I ended game.
[Wade, finally getting it]: Oh. [Bob]: Can you--Wade, so let's not disconnect everyone, 'cause fuck that. Can you-- [Wade]: Yeah, Jack, see if you can rejoin.
[Bob]: [unintelligible] ...Jack, and rejoin. [Mark]: He's there! Yay!
[Wade]: Back to the rooftops. Yay. [Jack]: I don't even know what sprint is now! If I lose, I'm blaming mouse and keyboard. [Wade]: Try "Shift," maybe?
[Mark]: I wasn't using sprint! Hey, I didn't need sprint. [Mark]: I was good enough without it, even though I got last place. Whatever. [Jack]: Shut yer--"B."
[Mark, screaming like a madman]: No! [Jack]: Oh, my God, the mouse doesn't work right!
[Wade]: Whoa! I like the look of that, Mark. [Bob]: Oh, my gosh.
[Jack screams in frustration] [Mark]: How 'bout a little bit of that action?
[Bob]: All right. How 'bout a little bit of... [Bob]: ..."good luck tryin' to make this jump"?
[Mark]: I don't need luck. I got lots of skill. [Wade]: Bob...Bob, no. Bob. Bob!
[Bob]: I'm pretty sure you could make that. [Wade]: Yeah.
[Jack]: Oh, man, I can't...I can't do the thing now. [Mark]: Get out of my way! [screams] Oh! I missed it! [screams] [Bob]: Oh, my God!
[Jack]: What was that? What?! [Wade laughs maniacally, then clucks repeatedly] [Bob]: Wade is still cheating.
[Mark]: Wow. Wow. [Wade clucks]
[Bob]: How surprising. [Jack]: You have the advantage for one round, eh? This game does not work right. [Jack, softly]: I don't like it.
[Mark, laughing]: It works fine! Don't criticize it! It'll get... [Mark]: ...mean, and it won't let you play.
[Wade, laughing]: Why is there a door there? [Jack, shouting]: I don't fuckin' know!
[Bob and Mark laugh] [Wade, laughing]: Bob, no!
[Mark]: Yeah! This is what I'm talkin' 'bo-- [Mark]: Fu--ah! Fu--[yelps and shrieks] No!
[Bob laughs] [Jack]: Fuck! What is-- fire balls?!
[Mark and Bob laugh] [Jack]: Where the fuck are the fire balls?!
[Mark, Bob, and Wade laugh] [Mark]: Ah, goddammit.
[Wade shrieks] [Wade shrieks again]
[Mark, Bob, and Jack all exclaim] [All laugh]
[Wade]: No... [Jack]: Fuck that guy. Fuck that guy.
[All laugh] [Jack]: No winners, no points. [Mark]: Suck it, Wade! We can't win, well--
[Jack]: No one can! [Bob]: It's not supposed to be easy, Wade. [Wade]: But guys...
[Mark]: Whoa, what is this?! [Bob]: Oh, my God! Sciency stuff!
[Mark]: What is this? [Bob]: Yeah, Mark, I'm with you - lots of this. Lots of this.
[Wade]: No! [Wade]: No, guys, those things are so overpowered!
[Mark]: Why? [Jack]: Put them down!
[Bob]: All right, well, I'm just gonna make-- [Wade]: They just suck you in and kill you instantly!
[Mark]: Just gonna put this right... [Wade]: No!
[Bob]: It's fine right there. [Jack]: No, Mark...[laughs]
[Wade]: Mark! Mark! Think about this! [Mark]: I'll make it fair. It's--it's fair. It's fair. It's fair [Others laugh in the background]
[Mark]: It's fair! It's fair! [Bob]: That doesn't need to be fair...
[Mark]: Oh, God! [Jack and Wade scream, Wade clucks]
[Jack screams all the way down] [Mark]: I can't sprint! I can't sprint! I can't sprint! How do you sprint?! [Bob]: Pull...pull...yes!
[Wade]: Oh, my goodness! Bob! [Mark]: You said the bumper buttons!
[Bob]: Get rekt. [Mark]: You said the bumper, right?
[Jack]: What did my thing do? [Bob]: Right trigger.
[Jack]: No, X! [Mark]: Oh, the triggers?! You said bumper, Wade! [Bob]: [laughs] Fuck you, asshole.
[Jack]: Oh, God almighty. [Mark and Wade laugh]
[Jack]: How was anybody going to-- [Wade]: I don't know!
[Bob]: You guys all make it possible. Don't worry. [Wade]: Okay, Bob.
[Mark]: Okay. [Bob]: It's gonna be totally possible. [Mark and Wade laughing]
[Jack]: What?! [Bob]: You just have to--you just have to...what?
[Wade]: It doesn't rot-- [Mark]: Oh, oh, oh, oh.
[Bob]: That's really not what I thought was gonna happen at all. [Jack]: Oh, oh, God. Oh, God, it crushed me.
[All exclaiming, with Wade clucking all the way down] [Bob and Mark laughing and cheering]
[Jack]: What the fuck?! [Wade]: How did Mark get through there?
[Mark, screaming]: Because I'm good at games, guys! [Mark]: You just don't give me a chance!
[Jack]: I'm losing again! [Mark cheers]
[Jack]: Mark's winning? [Wade]: Mark is winning.
[Jack]: That can't happen. That can't happen. [Mark]: Why can't that happen, guys? Why is that not allowed? [Mark]: What is this?
[Bob]: I got some ideas. I got some ideas. Don't you worry. [Mark]: What even is that? [Jack]: Oh, I hate this game. [Mark]: I don't know what this do...but okay.
[Wade]: Oh, God. [Jack]: Where's the fir--where's the balls at?
[Wade]: That's barbed wire. It's gotta go--oh, Bob, if-- [Mark]: I meant whatever the spikey ball is below it.
[Bob]: Oh, God dangit. [Bob]: Well...
[Jack]: This sucks. [Bob]: I don't know what these is.
[Jack]: How do even right now? [Wade]: Why is there a random teleporter floating in the middle of the sk--Bob. [Jack]: I didn't know what it did!
[Wade]: Bob. [Mark]: Bob, yes.
[Wade]: Bob, that's just gonna hit the other trap, there. [Bob]: Yeah, it is.
[Mark, evilly]: Yes, Bob. Yes. [Bob]: I think I'm gonna go like this... [Jack]: Put it on the ground the other side, firing at the goal.
[Mark]: Just in case... [Bob]: I just want to see if it'll pick someone off as they're about to win. [Jack]: Fuck me in the ass.
[Mark]: Whoa! Hey! Whoa, whoa, oh, God. [Wade]: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! [starts to scream]
[Mark]: Oh, God, not-- [All screaming, then laughing] [Mark]: Wow. Wow.
[Wade]: What have we done?! [Wade]: Look at this garbage!
[All laughing] [Mark]: Add more! More! More! More!
[Wade]: Nobody's putting down platforms! We're just adding more traps! [Bob]: Wade, isn't that the way the game's supposed to be played? [Wade]: No!
[Mark]: This was a--this is a mistake, right? This was a mistake. [Mark]: Let's just get this out of here. That was a mistake. [Mark]: Wade, don't--come on, Wade, that just makes it easy. [Wade]: ...Bob. Bob! Bob!
[Mark]: Yeah, there we go! That's it! That's the stuff! [Bob]: Actually, I won't do that. I won't do that....I'll do this.
[Wade]: Bob! [All laugh]
[Bob]: You guys have fun dying first. [Jack]: I can barely even see which one I am half the time.
[Mark and Jack shout] [Bob]: Oh, no! No! No!
[Wade]: Oh, okay. Okay. I'm okay. [Mark]: [screaming and whining] Oh, God.
[Jack]: Yes! Yes! Yes! Everybody dies! [Bob]: Where are you going?
[Wade screams and clucks] [Everyone but Wade laughs, Wade clucks] [Wade yelping, Mark laughing]
[Jack]: Get the chicken! Get the chicken! Get that! [Bob and Jack, sarcastically]: Go, Wade. Go, Wade.
[Wade screams] [All reacting in disappointment at Wade's win] [Jack]: It's actually possible?!
[Mark]: It's because he took his time. We were all being stupid. [Jack]: I have points now!
[Wade]: Man, how dare I win?! [Bob]: All right, Wade. [Wade]: I like--I liked the sentence, like--"Oh, he actually tried to not suck!" [Mark]: We gotta go through the door. I decree it. [Mark, as Bob laughs]: Like that. There we go.
[Wade]: Oh, God! What?! [Bob]: There. I was gonna--I was just gonna go, like this atop Wade.
[Jack]: Just put a tiny little square on top of us? [Voices overlapping] [All reacting to their movements]
[Wade, screaming]: Oh, no! I got pucked over! [Jack]: Oh, God. Oh, fuck! Where'd you push me?! [Voices overlapping]
[Jack]: I got sucked into a black hole! [Voices overlapping, reacting] [Wade]: You bounced off and hit that spikeball, Bob.
[Bob]: Spikeball?! Fuckin' shit! [Jack]: That's what I died on.
[Wade]: Hey, look! Jack got points! [Mark]: More! What does this do?
[Bob]: This is fuckin' impossible. [Mark and Jack]: What does this do? What the fuck does this do? [Bob]: No, Mark, you're such a dick!
[Mark]: What'd I do?! I just made it slightly more difficult. [Bob laughs]
[Mark]: Only slightly. [Bob]: Oh, you, Jack, trying to make a duel. I don't think that's gonna help. [Jack]: No, I'm trying to dick someone over.
[Bob]: All right. [Wade]: Wow, that's a--that's what we need more of here! [Bob]: Yeah, I'm not gonna make it that much harder. [Wade]: Oh, Jack, no!
[Mark]: Yes, Jack! Yes, Jack, yes! [Mark]: Yes, yes, yes, girl!
[Bob]: Oh, God, the puck! The puck! [Jack]: Fuck! I try and start every time, and I get sucked into a black hole! [Mark]: No, it's impossible! Shit!
[Wade]: Oh, God! [screams] [Mark]: Bob, look out!
[Jack]: Bye, everybody! Die! [Wade]: [unintelligible]
[Bob]: No! Fuckin'--[laughs] [Jack]: Okay, this is bullshit right now.
[Bob]: It's not possible, man. [Mark]: Well, you guys can bomb stuff! You don't have to keep adding! It's not my fault! [Wade laughs and whimpers]
[Mark]: All right, bomb Wade! [Bob]: I want to make this pass happen.
[Jack]: Fuck--fuck this nonsense right here. [Bob]: I want to make this pass happen.
[Jack]: Fuck that nonsense. [Bob]: Here we go. Here we go.
[Mark]: All right, I'll get rid of this-- [Bob]: I'm getting rid of this piece of shit. [Mark]: This is useless. [Wade]: I added a whole 'nother platform.
[Mark]: Good for you. Whatever. [Bob]: Go away, puck douchebag.
[Mark]: Fuckin'--God--th---[frustrated groan] [Bob]: Oh! I jumped!
[Jack groans, Wade screams, Mark laughs maniacally] [Mark]: Ha ha, Wade! [cackles]
[Wade, high-pitched]: Oh, no! [Bob]: Jack, you can do it! I believe in you!
[Jack]: I can't! I can't! [Bob]: Jack, you got this!
[Jack]: Fuck! Fuck! No! No! No! [All shouting]
[Wade]: He did it! [All reacting, laughing]
[Wade]: Jack was good at games, guys! [Mark]: You had to go through the door! You gotta go through the door! [Bob]: Jack, how the fuck? That was magical!
[Jack]: Nice! I have no idea. [Mark]: We're gonna assume that wasn't pure luck, and everything's gonna be okay. [Bob]: No, that was--that was beautiful, man.
[Jack]: Who's left? [Wade]: Probably Bob.
[Bob]: I'm still thinking. I'm sorry. [Wade]: Oh, it is Bob. I knew it. He goes incognito. [Jack]: I love Mark's little square of barbed wire there.
[Mark]: Thank you. It's my favorite. [Jack]: So you can't land on it? Oh, God. [All making noises]
[Jack]: We're safe here for awhile. [Mark making guttural noises]
[Bob speaking, interrupted by Wade screaming and clucking] [Mark]: Oh, no! Come on! God dammit!
[Jack]: Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck! [Bob]: You can't just freak the fuck out, man. It makes me lose my shit! [Jack]: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!
[All laughing] [Mark]: All right, this time...ah, fuck, why?
[All laughing] [Bob]: Every time Wade loses his shit, I just die immediately.
[All laughing] [Wade]: Bad things happen to me.
[Mark]: Two turns! Ah, shit. [Bob]: Augh, two turns? Fuck!
[Mark]: Okay. [Mark]: Let's put some honey there. I didn't know what else to do. [Bob]: All right.
[Jack]: Yeah, I won't need another one. [Wade]: You always wait 'til last, Bo--Bob. [Mark]: Bob. Bob! Bob!
[Wade]: Yeah, that looks... [Jack]: That's right, you cheat!
[Wade]: Do it, Bob. [Bob]: No.
[Wade]: Do it, Bob. [Bob]: Definitely not. I would never try--
[Jack]: Because he's losing. [Wade]: Do it, Bob.
[Jack]: You little bitch. [Bob]: Maybe. [Wade]: Who put honey?! [Mark]: I put honey. [screams]
[All reacting] [Bob, laughing]: Jack, are you just stuck to it?
[Wade screams, all react] [Mark shrieks, everyone laughs] [Mark]: Who put barbed wire there?! Who did that?!
[All laughing] [Wade]: I did that!
[Mark]: Why did you did that? [Jack]: Nice!
[Mark]: No, not nice! [Mark]: God dammit!
[Wade laughing] [Mark]: Bullshit.
[Bob]: So harsh. [Mark, under his breath]: So bullshit.
[Wade]: I don't know how anyone could win this now. [Mark]: Naw, it's possible.
[Jack]: It's definitely possible; it's just annoying. [Bob]: There. I've got--I've got something--I've got something that will definitely help. [Mark]: I don't even know what this do.
[Jack]: Mark, don't put that. It doesn't do anything. [Jack]: You need another--
[Wade]: No, it does do s--if he puts that one, [Wade]: there's two of them that--unless someone deleted the other one. [Jack]: Yeah, it's gone.
[Mark]: I deleted that one. [Wade]: Oh, okay, then yeah, there has to be two of them.
[Bob]: Oh, I'll put one. [Mark]: Okay. All right, Bob, let's do this.
[Jack]: Right at the finish. [Mark]: Teamwork! [laughs]
[Wade]: Then nobody gets points! [Bob]: We'll see, won't we?
[Jack, as Mark laughs]: It's too easy then. [Bob]: Here, what if we get to go right... What if we get to go ont--up here? [Wade]: Sure.
[Bob]: Then everyone has a chance. [Jack]: I hate you guys so much.
[Bob]: Everyone has a chance. [All shriek and laugh] [Mark]: Why didn't it work?!
[Wade, through laughter]: It didn't teleport! [Bob]: Oh, no! Fuck! [Jack]: Ah, no, no, no! Dammit, I had it! [Wade]: Mark and I just ran off the edge and died! [Mark]: I expected it to go! Dammit!
[All laugh] [Mark]: Oh, Jack, that's so stupid! You get ahead of me because you got the bonus, like... [Mark]: ...Comeback points? What a load of crap!
[Jack]: Yeah, baby! [Mark]: What a load of ass!
[Jack]: I played with a keyboard! [Wade]: All right, there's one... There we go.
[Mark]: Bullshit. [Mark]: Whatever. All right, let's do it.
[Jack]: Can't fuckin' navigate the map to get up to the level. [Mark]: Y'all suck dicks!
[Jack grunts triumphantly] [Mark]: What're we doing? Oh. Oh. Oh!
[Wade]: The button triggers the elevator. [Wade]: And this glass will kill you.
[Mark]: What elevator? [Bob]: What's the elevator? [Wade]: This black thing up here is the elevator.
[Mark and Bob]: Oh. [Jack]: Um...okay.
[Mark]: All right, let's just go ahead and crush people's dreams right off the bat. [Bob, Wade, and Jack laugh] [Jack]: Let's do it!
[Mark]: Let's do this! [Bob]: Okay, ah, hang on.
[Mark]: Oh, God, Bob! [Wade]: This is going to be pretty easy. The elevator's going to be an easy-- [Jack]: Oh, wait, we have to take the elevator now?
[Wade]: No, no, you don't have to, but it'll be easiest... [Wade]: ...to win by taking it.
[Jack]: Oh, God, Bob. [Bob]: I can crush people's dreams, too.
[Wade]: Do it, Bob. [Jack]: Just crush people in general.
[Bob]: You wanna see me crush people's dreams? [Wade and Mark, together]: Yes.
[Jack]: No--yeah, okay. [Bob]: I think this'll do what I want it to do.
[Mark]: I don't know about that. [Wade clucks] [Bob]: Come here, elevator.
[Mark makes startled noises] [Jack]: God, no. That's a bad idea.
[Bob]: Oh, sweet Jesus.. [Mark and Jack react]
[Bob]: Come on, elevator, go! [Wade]: Oh, wait--
[All react as Mark laughs maniacally] [Jack]: Augh, Bob!
[Bob, cackling]: I'm sorry! [Mark]: He's not sorry!
[Bob continues to cackle] [Wade]: I knew that was gonna happen, and I still let it ride out. [Bob cackles]
[Jack]: Get rid of that shit! [Bob]: I'll use a bomb to destroy it. I will use a bomb to destroy it. [Mark]: Make it be a--be a dick! [Mark]: Be a dick!
[Bob]: Be a di-ach! [Wade]: Bob? What're you thinkin', Bob?
[Jack]: Bein' a dick, okay. [Jack]: Let's go, troops!
[Bob]: Here, elevator! Let's have a party! [Mark]: No, watch this! I got this.
[Wade clucks] [Mark shrieks]
[All laugh] [Mark]: God dammit, God dammit, God dammit, I thought I had it! [Wade screams, Mark and Bob laugh] [Wade, high-pitched]: Bob!
[Bob]: All right, you ready, Wade? [Jack]: Yay! [Bob]: No! God, you fuckin' horse!
[Wade, mockingly]: I'm ready, Bob! I'm ready, Bob! [Mark]: What did you do?
[Bob]: It jumped, and I--it jumped. [Wade]: Jack's the only one on the board! [Jack rejoices, Mark groans]
[Wade]: Mouse and keyboard's OP. [Bob]: Dick, dick, dick, dick...
[Mark]: Apparently. [Bob]: Now I'm mad. Now I'm in a bad mood. [Others laugh, Mark groans in fake annoyance]
[Mark]: So grumpy. [Jack]: Bob mad 'cause bad. [Bob]: Maybe.
[Jack]: Or somethin'. [Wade]: Oh, Bob! Bob, think about what you're--Bob!
[Bob, sadly]: So long. [Mark laughs] [Wade]: Bob!
[Bob]: So long! How much room do we need to get out? [Mark laughs] [Wade]: There would be the worst possible location you could put it. [Bob]: Like, how about this?
[Wade]: Oh, we could do through there. [Jack]: Oh, that's--do what you think is better.
[Bob]: I'll tell you something better than that. [Bob]: I like whoever put this here. I've got thoughts. [Bob]: I've got thoughts and ideas.
[Mark]: Do we have to duck beneath that hockey thing... [Mark]: ...while we're waiting?
[Wade]: Jump, probably. [Jack]: Jump, yeah. You can't duck it. [Wade]: Bob. Bob!
[Jack]: Oh, God. [Mark]: Wow.
[Jack]: The valley of death. [Bob]: All right! Good luck, motherfuckers.
[Mark]: All right! [Mark]: All ri--[screams] Duck!
[All react] [Wade screams]
[Jack]: Augh, it keeps hitting my dead body! Really? [Wade screams]
[Jack]: Poonk! It keeps hitting me and Bob. [Mark and Wade scream]
[Jack]: Dead. Oh, my dead body saved you! [Wade]: Okay, okay.
[Jack, while Mark screams]: Die, die. Die, you-- [Mark screams]
[Jack]: ...You fuckers! [Everyone reacts] [Wade]: I was right there!
[Jack]: So fuckin' happy. So happy! [Wade]: I was right there!
[Bob and Mark laugh] [Mark]: Alright. [Bob, laughing]: Mark...
[Mark]: What? [Bob]: Oh, that's Jack! It's Jack. Jack's trying to be a dick. [Mark]: Yeah. [Jack]: Right in the middle of the other thing--
[Mark]: I'm going to try to make another avenue... [Mark]: ...for us to go here.
Jack! [Mark]: Jack!
[Jack laughs soullessly]: What? [Mark and Wade]: Jack! Come on, Jack! Jack! Look, what're you doin', Jack? [Jack]: I hate you guys.
[Mark weeps loudly] [Wade]: You could have done it, Jack. Go ahead. Do it, Jack. Do it. [Jack]: Nah, I like it a bit more interesting. [Bob]: All right, you know what? I'm just gonna make this part down here... [Jack]: Now, who puts the other saw in the elevator?
[Wade]: ...Hi, Jack. [Jack]: Fuck you, Wade.
[Mark and Wade laugh] [Wade shrieks, as per usual] [Jack]: Fuck. Hockey puck. Oh! [Bob]: Thanks for calling the elevator! [laughs] We'll be down here. [laughs] [Wade shrieks like a FNaF character]
[Mark]: God dammit, I made that-- [Bob]: Oh, God!
[Mark]: That fan is too high to go. [Mark]: Hi, Bob. How's my ass?
[Jack]: God dammit. [Jack]: Sniff my butthole. [Mark, Jack, and Wade exclaim] [Mark laughs maniacally briefly]
[Mark]: Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. [Wade and Jack laugh at Mark's misfortune]
[Bob and Mark shriek, with Jack shouting encouragement] [Mark]: It lagged! It lagged! I lagged! It lagged! Lag!
[Wade]: Mark, I think you can jump on the roof. [Mark]: Ohh.
[Jack and Bob, mockingly]: Oh. I get it. [Mark, sounding tortured or constipated]: Oh. [Bob, as Mark continues groaning]: I see what you're trying to add. [Bob]: Everyone's just, like, "Oh, fuck the roof!"
[Mark and Wade laugh] [Wade and Jack groan] [Jack]: Ha!
[Bob breaks into laughter] [Mark]: What the fuck happened?
[Bob]: Why did you not die? [Bob]: Are we all just going to casually wait for the--oh, God. [All screaming various forms of "oh" and "God" and "shit"] [Wade, high-pitched]: Oh, no!
[Mark, laughing]: This is such bullshit. [Jack]: Bullshit. Oh, shit! I got it, Bob. I got it. [Jack]: Bob, it's literally impossible.
[Bob]: All right. We can do this, Jack. We can do this. [Bob]: No, I saved your life--Oh... [Wade]: You guys know you can run on the roof of the elevator, too, right? [Mark]: Shh!
[Bob]: I know, but the axe--the saws are always covering the roof now... [Wade]: Oh.
[Bob]: ...from the bottom. [Jack]: Oh, Bob.
[Bob laughs]: You guys wanna finish this level? Fuck you. [Jack]: You should have it...
[Bob]: Guys wanna ride the elevator up? Fuck you. [Bob]: Have fun getting up the elevator!
Hang on, I'm not gonna do that. [Wade]: That might be easy now. Thank you, Bob.
[Jack]: Did you guys get sucked into the black hole? [Bob]: I don't even really see you.
[Wade]: Yes. I got shot with an arrow. [Jack]: ...Nice.
[Mark]: It got to the point where the black hole was... [Mark]: keeping me from jumping, so I couldn't go. [Wade]: Bob, what jus--Bob. Bob.
[Mark]: Bob. Bob. Come on, Bob. [Bob]: There's already an arrow thing over there. All right.
[Wade]: Yeah, this is going to be total overkill. [Mark]: All right, next round, I'm just gonna start blowing up this shit, 'cause goddamn. [Jack]: Yeah, this is a fucking nightmare.
[Bob]: We're awful human beings. [Jack]: I'm the only one with anything on the leaderboard right now. [Jack]: All because of luck. [Bob]: I'm just gonna wait down here.
[Others reacting] [Jack]: Oh, there's an arrow and a puck now?!
[Mark]: This is such bullshit! [Jack]: Look at my dead body! [unintelligible] That's--no! No! [All laughing]
[Jack]: This is bullshit! [Bob]: Jack, thanks for blocking all the arrows.
[Wade]: Yeah, Jack, thank you. [All laughing]
[Jack]: Wade, you're still gonna die. [Wade]: I'll be okay!
[Mark]: No, you won't, Wade. You did this to yourself. [Bob]: I don't think this is gonna happen.
[Jack]: Oh, it's in my butt! It's in my ass! [Wade, laughing]: I got this. I got this.
[Bob]: I like how your body kept jumping while-- [Wade screams]
[Mark]: Yeah, get your--there you go. All right, Bob! [Mark]: Show us what you've got, Bob! Oh, you're dead? Never mind, sorry! [All laugh]
[Outro music]
