<i> - ( rooster crows )
- ( lion roars ) </i> Welcome to
"Good Mythical More." The wheel comes to a land. "QTMBA"--
Question that must be answered. "What's the smoothest part
of your own body?" You got one?
You got a smooth part? Um, I've got right
here at the-- you know where
your hairline stops, and there's, like,
at the nape of the neck, I've got a really smooth-- Don't. I don't want
you to touch it. That's a special place
for a special person to touch. - Oh-kay.
- Where's your special
smooth spot? What's your smoothest part? - Don't-- I'm--
- Post that... #QTMBA, but don't say that has anything
to do with us and our show. - Yeah, like, when my hair
was longer--
- Just for you and your friends. ...when my hair was longer, when I had that boyishly
playful cut... "Boyishly playful."
Come on out, guys. Now I have this desperately
boy-bandish cut, but, yeah, it was-- there was, like,
a rat tail there that was really soft. A rat tail? Welcome, everyone. Alex, Kevin, Matt, and Teresa
are joining us. - Matt Carney.
- Hello. - And Teresa's last name is...
- Lee. - Link: Lee.
- Rhett: Lee. I'm sorry.
I didn't know that. No relation. To... Anyone else with
the last name... Any other Lees. No relation to other Lees. You're totally
genetically isolated from every Lee. - Okay.
- Okay, guys... Link, break out
those two things because the sports
that we are choosing from are soccer, marching band, which is a sport? No? Volleyball and cheerleading. We're not gonna make any
"Is cheerleading a sport" jokes. It's all gonna be about marching
band, okay? You dodged a bullet,
cheerleaders because we have marching bands. Okay, there--
give Wilson a wig. - Okay, high school.
- Oh, man. So this is high school. You didn't have to be good
at it to do it, depending on your high school. Well, I mean... Okay, so she takes pride
in what she did. - That's a big assumption.
- That's good. So whatever you did,
you were really good at. I mean, you have to,
you know, make a team. Right? You had to try out, huh? Yeah, it does really depend
on what school you go to. When we went to high school,
like, you could-- if you made
a decision to do it, you could pretty much do it. Well, the basketball team
certainly had a cut. There was a cut, yeah. The soccer team
did not have a cut. I was on the soccer team. The soccer team
didn't have a cut? Soccer team didn't have a cut. They kept everybody,
and I don't know why
he did that. I guess they just had
that many uniforms. Because it would be cutting,
like, just a few people, and it's really bad for them. And there was no JV. So maybe that was a factor. It was all one soccer team for all four years
of high school, so-- you had
a JV basketball team, - and it kinda--
- Right. Less players on the field. - It's real.
- Uh... And it's not a field.
It's a court. You know what I mean?
There's lots of differences. But what did these guys do? This is very difficult because, first of all, volleyball-- usually-- most high schools
around here, it's just for females, right? I mean, like there's n-- most of the volleyball teams at local Southern California
schools, there's not any guys
on those teams. Right, so let's just toy around
with letting Teresa hold that. Maybe just feel-- - Oh, did you see that?
- That was good. But she didn't hit it
back to you. She didn't set it up
for you because-- Oh, okay. Okay, all right. Okay. Now-- Now, again, I mean-- we're not being sexist here. We just saying, traditionally, there are more females
who are cheerleaders, but there definitely are males on the cheerleading squad, and they usually are
the bottom of the pyramid. Put that up so elegant.
You know? And so it's gotta be a dude-- - I thought we've talked
about this.
- What? I thought that we knew
that this was Alex. Is it-- Or somebody. - I feel like it's--
- Before-- - I feel like it's--
- Before Matt joined us... - I feel like it's Carney.
- No. I wanna get into that.
Why? - Uh...
- You wanna get into that. - Why does he--
- That's a fair question. No, I'm gonna compliment you because you look--
you have a physique you could hold a woman
up in the air. And I can see you doing
one of those standing back flips and, like, landing
in exactly the same spot, like you've got the body type to both flip yourself
and hold a woman. And those are the two
requirements for being
a male cheerleader. You don't think
I could hold a woman? I think that all three of these
guys are kind of small. The people
that I see holding up women are, like, buff guys. - No.
- Like... Look at-- I mean, look at that. Yeah, I can bounce my pecs. - All right, do it.
- He's got a V neck. - That's a formation.
- You ready? For my shot? You know what those pecs
are good for. They're good for a little... No, no! No. I believe that Carney
is the soccer player. - Really?
- And you think he's-- Well, who's the cheerleader,
then? I thought it was Alex.
I don't know why. We can change them in a second. I think Alex would have wanted
to be a male cheerleader. Marching band. You saying I got cut
from the cheerleading squad? I think you would've signed up
for it. - 'Cause I think--
- I'm not saying no. can I see how this looks
on your head? You sure can. Kevin seems like
the marching band choice. I will say that. Are we talking woodwind? Kevin's a piccolo
if I've ever seen one. That's a woodwind. No, no, I would think-- I can picture him in the back, the guy that just hits
the bass drum every once in a while,
just boom. - Just waiting for it.
- Yeah. Measure after measure,
just waiting for it. The wonderful thing
about a marching band is that you don't get
a drum kit. You just get a piece
of the drum kit. - Except for--
- So you're just the guy
with the symbols, and you're just the guy
with the bass, and you're just
the guy with the snare. - Think he's a snareman.
- You think he's a snareman? I think he's a big drum man. I can see him
with that big mallet. Big mallet. So you wanna switch Alex
and Carney. I do. I mean, he also could be
a soccer player. Yeah, I could see that as well. Oh, this is tough.
I'm glad there's nothing
at stake. - You're an athletic guy.
- I'm so athletic. You can really do it all. All right. I-- First of all,
whatever-- I feel like--
as long as you guys
have been here, we should know this
about you. - You should.
- Yeah. And I think-- And that's why for some--
Something tells me that there was-- there's been
a male cheerleader in our midst for years. Don't you think we-- You're p-- You might be right, but I feel like if we knew that
Alex was a male cheerleader, we would've probably said
that at least a dozen times in the last week. Good point. Now that we know
what Carney was... Now that you know-- Okay. Teresa,
let's start with you. Just give us an--
Oh, it's sticky. It is very sticky. They tried to paint off
the Wilson. I mean, this said Wilson. So, at a certain point, it's just not worth it, guys. I mean, we painted... No free ads, man. Okay, and the way-- And the sad thing is Wilson
is paying us for this. Volleyball. So... Right from
and everything. You almost smacked yourself. Okay, the way we're gonna reveal
whether we're right or wrong is we're actually gonna see
photos from high school. So let's see our first photo. ( Rhett growls ) - After all of that.
- All of that. - I bounced my pecs for nothing.
- Man. Oh, gosh, okay. - Who's-- Who's--
- That's Matt, right? I'm just kidding. All right, so, Teresa,
what does that say? "Funn" with two Ns on your-- It's Gunn,
the name of my high school. Gunn-n-n-n. Now, what was your specialty?
Were you a high flyer? I was the back spot
because I was the tallest girl
on the team. She was the back spot. Did you ever have
to catch anybody? I did. I never dropped a girl. You never dropped a girl. No accidents. Good for you because a lot
of trust involved in that. Okay, so somebody plays
volleyball. Who's next?
Let's see another photo. Man:
Whoo! Whoa, he's Matt the sax man. - Yeah.
- Talk about a twist. You got some saxy pecs. Yeah, I bounced my pecs a lot to
get that-- the first chair. First chair saxophone. We were so wrong. The ladies couldn't get
enough of that guy. - Look at that.
- We were so wrong. - Yeah.
- All right. Okay, all right, who's next? Link:<i> Oh, whoa!</i> Rhett:<i> Oh, my goodness.</i> Oh, my goodness! What are you hiding
in those warm-up pants? That was the smallest outfit
they gave us. The coach designed this outfit. - You're so gangsta.
- It's the worst uniform ever. <i> Look at that thing.</i> Rhett:<i> Hold on. You wore those
pants to play volleyball in?</i> No, those are warm-up pants. I had short-shorts
on under that. - So you and
a bunch of girls?
- Was it-- Hold on. Was it a coed team? No. There was a guy's
volleyball team. It's big on the West Coast. I thought guy's volleyball
was bigger on the West Coast. Give me a spike. I was the starting center. Yeah, that was the only
place where volleyball... That was a set.
Give me a spike. - Here's the thing, though.
- Okay. My coach told me-- I was
really good at volleyball.
I played for five years. - He told me that...
- Alex: Really good. ...I could've gotten
a full-ride scholarship if I was about
four inches taller. - Yeah, but that's--
- I paid for school. That's diff--
That's difficult. Four inches could change
your entire life. I was too short. You look like a juggalo. Rhett:<i> Yeah, you--
( laughs )</i> Alex:<i>
Was your coach Fred Durst?</i> <i> ( overlapping chatter,
laughter )</i> Rhett:<i> Did you have highlights
or is that just the lighting?</i> Uh, I did have highlights. But not there, though.
They came later. You saw that picture and like,
"I need highlights." So let's see Alex. - Alex as a soccer man.
- Soccer man. Rhett:<i> Ooh! Sweaty, pensive
soccer man.</i> Yeah, I helped produce it,
so I picked the coolest photo
for me. Wow, what's-- hold on.
Did that go in the yearbook?
Did that go in the yearbook? I think it may-- It could've.
I don't know. Dude, 'cause if that picture
went in the yearbook, that was a good year for you. - Were you smelling something?
- Could've been my best year. I think I was just asserting
dominance over something. All right, so you were--
you were a... left wing. - I think I might've been.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Look like a left winger. Why, 'cause he's looking
to the right? He's looking
to the center of the field? That's right. Didn't have to black out
that Adidas? - Link:<i> No. </i>
-<i> ( others laugh )</i> Link:<i> It's not Wilson.</i> We're looking
for that Wilson... We're holding out for Wilson,
but no Adidas. Why are you just accepting
that that's Alex? It doesn't look
like Alex at all. Yeah, that looks like
your older brother, kind of a situation. I used to be cool. - "I used to be cool, guys."
- Your neck was so long. That's when you peaked. Uh, well, okay... We were completely wrong, right? In every way. - Yeah.
- Sorry, guys. Sorry for all the things
we said. Did my neck shrink? - I think so.
- Yes.
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WHY DO PEOPLE HATE US!?!?!?
Also Police Officers:
I'm told by the police subreddit that without qualified immunity, officers like these would be too scared of lawsuits to do their jobs, which is apparently abusing people and having no repercussions. Sounds good to me.
"Get out the car or I'm gonna fuckin smoke you."
"Get out the car. Stop moving around."
So. Uh. What?
My god these guys are morons. He may have been incoherent and blocking traffic but nothing justified tasing and pepper spraying him.
"You OK, bud, we're gonna help you out."
Fuck you you fucking fuck.
Please tell me these cops were charged with assault.
So they tortured someone having a medical emergency. These psychopaths need to be removed from society until they are deemed fit to participate(never again in a position of authority)
My cousin got a huge medical alert tattoo on her arm, because last time she had a sever diabetic episode, the police nearly killed her by thinking she was drunk and preventing her from getting help.