Hasan Minhaj - White People At Indian Weddings

what's up Montreal how are you guys yeah oh man thank you thank you it's been a big year for me you guys major major announcement I want to share with you guys here I got married I recently got married right here boom sorry fellas she put a ring on it one ring to rule them all to be exact it's kind of like a reverse Lord of the Rings situation where I got a ring and then lost half my powers which is a very different movie Sam and Frodo would've argued as much they're like compromise listening no throw it in Mordor now so I have one of these now and I had an Indian wedding and it was arguably the most expensive way to tell the rest of the world I'm gonna try to be monogamous [Music] Facebook status updates 399 I don't know why we're still doing weddings but I had an Indian wedding and I did it for my wife and I did it for my white friends because I don't know if you guys know this white people whenever you guys go to anything remotely ethnic you guys act like you're on Molly holy [ __ ] my wedding were just like oh all the colors this human you're eating rice crisps buckin relax now I don't know if you guys can tell by looking at me my parents are immigrants and because my parents are immigrants I realized something do you know immigrants really love they love secrets they love them like they love bottling them deep down inside of themselves and then unleashing them on you thirty years later when it's no longer relevant so you'll be sitting there like what mom's a ninja dad's a communist why are you telling me this right now like I feel like every conversation with my father is like an M night Shyamalan movie where it's just 90 minutes of build-up to no payoff it's like I'm supporting you because we're brown but I don't deserve this I deserve better so my dad tells me this story because I was getting married about how he got married so thirty years ago in this small town in India called alig our population nine hundred ninety thousand that's a small town in India he insists this small town he's like it's a small town I'm like you lived in Dallas you grew up in Dallas dad it's pretty big town this is tiny town in India called a leaguer my dad heard a lot of buzz in the streets about this girl named Seema my mom and you guys Seema was that chick like oh she was the talk of alley girl like she was like the iPhone six of Aligarh people like oh my god have you heard of Seema she's very slim and slender her family owns a camera what a camera I don't believe this right so my dad just beelines down to my grandfather's house and lays it on the line it's like what's up I'm not me I'm a chemist I'm going to America I want to marry Seema Yolo BAM in ten minutes he married a woman he had never laid eyes on you guys who understand what I'm saying that's tinder with no photos do you get it he's just like question mark I want that good personality let's hope so damn Nagy me marry Seema that come over to the United States I come out of my dad's balls I'm here on stage telling you guys jokes about them that's crazy that's inception immigrant style it's not is anyone here first generation I see a lot of beige in the room any of anyone here purse generation yeah where you from dude right there India do you ever go back don't you feel when you go back don't you feel like the wrapper that made it like when I show up I'm like yoga's how you guys are living what yo when Hasan's here everybody eats son everybody eats yeah Capri Suns on me fam gushers on me fam through roll-ups on me you're welcome like they're losing their mind over stale Oreos they're like oh my god hustlin it's one cookie but now it's two I'm like I'm not even gonna give you a Thin Mint you will [ __ ] your pants if I give you a Samoa you can't handle the Sun this purple box changes everything strap in you will lose your mind I call him my cousin Sahil right he lives in Aligarh I call him uh pickle yo siyul the prodigal son returns you name it I'll bring it to you what do you want he's like huh son just bring me her she's and I'm like that's it that's all you want you could ask for an iPad Retina you want her she's her she's as a bottom barrel chocolates I'll I mean they just added almonds and stop are you kidding me Hershey's we have a black president and Twix now give a [ __ ] Hershey's I do Hershey's is the Flavor Flav of chocolate just darken irrelevant no one gives a [ __ ] about her she's yeah Oh shots fired I don't care if you work for the Mars corporation step your game up we've been to the mood goddamnit you got to step up your chocolate game long story short I gave my cousin Saahil a Snickers bar and he's in an insane asylum right now what is this hustling it's nougat those were his last words 18 exclamation points my name is Hasan Minhaj Montreal thank you guys so much

Channel: Just For Laughs

Views: 4,139,433

Rating: 4.6032109 out of 5

Keywords: Just for laughs, jfl, just for laugh, youtube just for laughs, just laughs, funny, comedian, stand up, standup, stand up comedian, stand up comedians, white people at weddings, hasan minhaj, hasan minhaj youtube, hasan minhaj stand up, stand up hasan minhaj, hasan minhaj india, hasan minhaj comedy, hasan minhaj comedian, Hasan Minhaj White People At Indian Weddings, Hasan Minhaj JFL, hasan minhaj immigration, Hasan Minhaj secrets, Hasan Minhaj wife, hasan minhaj patriot act

Id: nNx5tnqD9e0

Length: 5min 48sec (348 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 29 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/TrlrPrrkSupervisor]

Indian comedians need to chill with the racial jokes abit

[u/[deleted]]

Typical stereotyping. Nothing new.

[u/-AsadBajwa94]

Damn this dude is really jacking Russell Peter's material. Smh

[u/[deleted]]

Kind of weird, there’s a strong difference between Muslim and Hindu weddings, he really misses the point here

[u/Happy-feets]

How is he a thing? He is unfunny and unoriginal

[u/alp100]

Overrated