Glitter and Lazers BREAKS Silence About "The Toxic Body Positivity Community" (WOW)

all right so what we're going to be talking about is anna or glitter and lasers actually made a recent video a more a more recent video she just released this today actually and the title of the uh the title of this video is uh the truth about uh body positivity you see it right there the truth about body positivity and i'm kind of curious as to what it's about um i i looked at some of the comments and for some reason people were talking about me so i i'm assuming that maybe she brings me up but i don't know for sure so let's just kind of watch this and um i'll kind of share my thoughts on it hey there uh today i'm gonna talk about my health again i will be very real with you i did not intend to make this video today i did not intend to be sitting here filming i actually intended to be sitting on my couch watching some deliciously crappy tv um and just kind of taking it easy but i guess the internet had other plans for me and here i am here i am talking about my body again the reason i'm here and the reason i am talking to all of you is because over the past like i guess four or five days a couple videos have come out talking about well more reacting to content i've made and whether or not it is appropriate or fair in the way i've discussed things i felt like i needed to kind of react to these videos because it's very bizarre i'm is she going to react to me reacting to her and then i'm reacting to it because that's pretty meta i'm not gonna lie have a lot of people discuss your body and your choices and your life uh without actually factoring you as a person into it like it's almost like i'm being talked about like a bouncy ball like an inanimate object with no feelings no emotions no values no morals no ethics like nothing just like an inanimate object of which we talk about yeah so that's a great and that's definitely something that i try to make sure and i've i've said this in the past like whenever i make a video if i'm like reacting to something or sharing my thoughts like i don't try to make fun of the person or say anything about the person in that we're talking about right usually i'm trying to either dissect um you know things that they've said or dissect um things that they believe right beliefs that they're putting out there and so for me it's really important that i'm not making videos just making fun of someone that can't defend themselves right but i can understand how it would feel being very nervous or feeling very anxious seeing other people make videos about you even if they're positive right i totally can understand that like i got a candle at bath and body works and i like the way it smelled anna's losing weight and i don't like her it's just like what hi hi i'm a person i have feelings i have emotions like it's kind of cool i do this thing sometimes when people say stuff to me i react to it wow i'm a person so it's kind of been very weird and i've been thinking like uh what do i say how do i react to this like i don't want to get an internet fight and i know that's what happens a lot on youtube and i'm i'm i'm a lover not a fighter so how do i address what's gone on and the way people have talked about me and i will say it is about me and even some ways around me very very few of the people who've commented on my body or my choices or my way of presenting both of those things have actually ever had a conversation with me so i want to shout out two people for having direct conversations with me which is obese to beast had very lovely dm exchange with him and he's just been very kind to me on a person-to-person level and wow i seriously i promise i have not seen this video um well it makes me smile that's cool all right let's keep going sorry fitness marshall i don't think he's made any videos about me but he's just been very kind to me and said hey i see this is going on it's kind of a tough thing to deal with how are you i feel like now again i don't know any of them that well and i've never met either of them in person but i can say pretty much on on on my experiences alone they seem like good people because if i i've tricked her somebody else that i knew going through this and i actually have seen friends go through different but similar situations my first inclination would be let me talk to that person directly and either talk to them about how i'm feeling or see if they're okay um and i think that's that's i wanted that's the only direct people i want to name in this entire scenario because those are the people who made the choice to treat me like a human and i value that so much and i think that that deserves to be celebrated in internet culture because we don't do it enough we are really wow well oh that makes me that makes me smile um yeah well you're welcome i guess i okay let's keep going good at talking about people like things and i respect that they understood that i have a heart in here and that i can be a little sensitive so i appreciated that as far as all the other reactions i want to let you know that i have not watched the videos i do not know what was directly said in any of them positive or negative i did watch the first obese to beast video on me i then made a decision that even though it was very positive and lovely uh no complaints about it it wasn't good for me to hear it because it became somebody else's opinion on me and i needed to focus on my opinion on me and that's what i want to talk about in this video i think that that's a great way to go about things especially like especially if you find yourself in uh i guess a reaction cycle or you know a content cycle where people are are now let's be real right using your situation as a way to get views because that is what is happening right just being honest right like um it's i certainly don't fault her for making that decision because i i've never been in that particular situation but i could see myself doing the same thing because knowing with my anxiety if i decided to watch all these videos even if they were positive um it probably triggers some stuff not saying that she has anxiety i don't know but i know for me that would definitely happen is making decisions for yourself and how communities can affect and alter our abilities to be aware of our own needs this is this let's go piss some people off for sure first and foremost i always say that i always say that things are gonna piss people off because and they do was i right yes so my intuition is flawless guys it's gonna piss some people off but i i need to get this off my chest because i have felt this way for years and it has negatively impacted my mental health on multiple occasions and i feel at this point given everything that's gone on it's time to just say it and move on and whatever happens to me as a result uh i'm gonna put on my big girl panties and i'm gonna take it and and that's okay so the first thing that you need to know and you need to understand and i think as a casual observer this will not be obvious but as someone who has lived in this world it is painfully clear there is not really a body positive community wow there are not a large group of people who agree on what body positivity is who support each other in any actions in fact the majority of the conversations that happen in the body positive space are people fighting over what body positivity really is oh man i mean this is what i was talking about earlier is it's so hard to have any conversations about this stuff because again everyone has a different definition of what it is like body positivity means one thing to this person and it means another thing to this person and it means another thing to this person and it becomes impossible to have a conversation because you say this is what i think body positivity is and then someone else disagrees with it and then instead of having an actual conversation about fixing xyz thing that maybe you had a problem with now you're just having a conversation of what body positivity is and now nothing has moved forward because all you guys are doing is is having this conversation so i really really good stuff so far and i have seen less encouragement and less support in that community than i have seen in other communities i am part of in fact that community the body positive community has actually been worse for my mental health than some of the other communities i'm in and we're gonna talk about that and unpack that man this is i've said this before it was always strange to me that like when i've dealt with people saying like you're not allowed to be body positive blah blah blah like it was always very strange that this community that literally is called body the second word is positivity it seems like it is not at all positive and again i i don't even consider myself part of that community because i certainly i feel like a lot of that community truly dislikes me very much which you know whatever that's fine but it's strange to me that this community that is called body positivity you don't see much positivity that's put out there they might be positive in their own little sphere but when you when they come out of that sphere it's all negativity it's all toxic it feels like at least in my opinion first and foremost i probably should define what body positivity is to me again it's a very debatable definition so that is where all the trauma comes from but we'll start with what i believe i believe that every person regardless of their size shape color gender sexual identification abilities whatever makes them different has the right to exist peacefully in their body and free of discrimination end point that's what i believe furthermore to kind of extend that out i believe that like everybody else's bodies and choices is their business and really none of my concern and i would agree with that and that my body and my choices are really nobody else's concern which has made this entire situation very interesting for me i still believe all of that uh making choices to become healthier were my choices and i made those choices very aware of what would come as a result of them and very aware of the emotional challenges i would face i knew that a lot of this would happen i didn't think it would happen on this grand of the scale i mean i i agree with her but i just feel like that's so sad um that she had again like i've said this in the first video but the fact that she even had like anxiety or worry that you know her talking about hey i want to improve you know i have this thing going on i want to improve my health through you know trying to improve what i'm eating you know maybe lose a little bit of weight whatever and that she was afraid of people literally getting upset about that and and then she was proved right and then it wasn't even that she was proved right but she actually was almost wrong because she didn't realize how much people were going to get upset like i just i really really just that really sucks i'm a little shocked this is as big a deal as it is but i knew something would happen i knew it wouldn't be easy i knew it wasn't gonna be all sunshine and rainbows and that's why i waited a really long time to talk about it i would still define myself as body positive against my definition of it this becomes important because there are many other groups with many other definitions who feel that that um gives them the right to become almost militant about enforcing those definitions and and policing people and i have never liked this and i've never been supported by the day and i have spent many many many nights crying because i have felt unsupported and unincluded in a community that i felt that the media had put me as a figurehead of and i don't know if i ever deserved to be a figurehead of this community because i don't know what is the most popular definition of this and in fact i feel like it just has become this weird term that we use to describe people who like themselves when society tells them that they should hate themselves like i don't even know if there's any real moral root in body positivity anymore because like everybody's body positive that doesn't hate their body like that's it's very confusing yeah i mean this is such a huge this is one of the biggest problems i think that like body positivity has is that there is again i already said it but there is no definition and everyone has their own thoughts about what it is and then like she said uh some people get very militant and they're like no this is the right definition and then if you disagree with it you're not allowed to be part of the body positive community which again it just when you say that it just seems it seems off like you're not allowed to be part of the body positive community or like the stuff that you see on instagram right where people literally will like they will literally keep the hashtag body positivity like i've gotten dms from people that got messed like comments on their posts where they hashtag body positivity and people being like you're not allowed to use this hashtag you shouldn't use this hashtag how dare you kind of stuff and it's like how did we get to this point it it really doesn't make any sense within this community lives um a group of people that i would just say i call fat with a capital f oh i'm gonna get murdered for this one i'm just i'm just gonna say it i'm here for it let's see what you guys saying people whose identities are also attached to their weight again there's nothing wrong with this but they are very protective of anything that would indicate or suggest that being fat was was wrong um that oh so true how many times have i said when your identity is tied to your size that's probably not the best thing and that's with any size whether it's being small or being muscular or being this or being that when your identity becomes tied to that that's probably not a good thing and i get why if it's a huge part of your identity and you believe that it's part of your identity um it can be hard when people make the choice to abandon that identity or abandon that lifestyle it can feel like a personal attack and and what has happened is any plus-sized person who's ever lost weight in this space has been viciously attacked by this community and that's oh man and that's important is that she said any right like this isn't a one-off thing that it's like oh you know this doesn't normally happen she just had this you know this mean girl made a video about her and you know we don't really subscribe to what she said and and don't think about that like this is something that happens over and over and over and over again happens all the time that's a problem and it's been hard to watch i've seen it happen to other people so before it even happened to me i knew it was gonna happen and i had have seen it happen and honestly the people that they attacked previously were like way cooler and way more influential than me so i figured i wouldn't get it as bad but i know that this is just the beginning and i know me saying this and coming out and like giving you the reality on the community is going to like mean that they're gonna really come for me and that's okay like i said i'm prepared to take it it's like it almost reminds me of like you know when people uh explain to you when they've been in like a car accident when you like you know you're on like black eyes and you're driving and you you notice i have no control of my car there's nothing i can do about this and then you just have to like brace for impact kind of thing right like there you cannot like that's kind of the situation she was in when she decided to make her first video and just like knowing that she had that feeling while she was recording it man that's really really really really tough and honestly in my heart of hearts i find that rather endearing that that someone has found such peace and love at their body that they want to to fight for the right for it to be valued and i get that with someone like me losing weight threatens that that peace that they found and like i understand it it doesn't make it okay but i understand where the anger and the frustration comes from and it can even feel like a betrayal right i get it it doesn't make it okay it doesn't on top of this um there's been another layer of the body positive community which is people who are actually not plus size at all they're like kind of like middleweight like average people who talk about body positivity in this lens of like love your body as long as you're healthy and that like key last phrase as long as you're healthy is very damning to be to be to be perfectly honest it basically gives them the right to talk [ __ ] about anyone who isn't average or thin but at the same time maintain that they are a positive person who loves their body so that part of the community is also very confusing as well like how do you preach self-compassion and love and all of these things in the guise of your definition of body positivity but then use the same thing to come out and say really terrible things about people because they are different than you i think that with with that it's it's hard because like when you a lot of people and like we were just talking about this earlier is that a lot of people think that changing in any way shape or form is now you're no longer body positive right and obviously i think i disagree with that and i don't even like i think that you can obviously be body positive and not be healthy but again where a lot of people come from with that line of thinking is if you truly were positive about your body and you loved your body right maybe and maybe this is where the problem is maybe i think of um like self-love and i should stop putting self-love and body positivity together because for me when i think if you're truly positive um about your body and like you love yourself then obviously you would want to give yourself the the best chance at life right to be as you know healthy as possible not saying you need to be a professional athlete like professional bodybuilder super shredded or anything like that but i'm saying as long as your health isn't becoming impacted but i don't know maybe she would disagree with me on that point and that's you know that's her her right to do that there's also a third layer to the body positive community which is um really driven by people with eating disorders who have had a really challenging relationship with food and they need to come to terms with it and for them body positivity is really this acceptance of of their body and their shape and the choices they make or maybe even villainized in the past being things that actually support and nourish the body they have so in this community there's a lot of discussion about permission to eat permission to consume permission to enjoy um basic things so this community i also don't relate very much to because i don't personally believe i've ever had an eating disorder talk to people who intimately know me they'll tell you things about me that have actually been true since college i'm a very focused person and i'll forget about things like food like i just won't remember to eat i'll also like sometimes won't sleep because i'll get so like committed to the project so i mean i kind of want to go back to i wasn't sure if she was going to go back to that point but that's a huge part of the body positivity community is the you know the people that have have eating disorders and that's where a lot of the um it seems like a lot of the health at every size like uh nutrition advice seems to come from is is to help people that have that have had those eating disorders in the past like be okay with maybe eating a little bit more calories be okay with consuming more food because they have been they have been so used to over restriction for their whole life so obviously the the the tips and the nutrition advice if you want to call it that but like the things that people are putting out there to help those people it's it's almost been like okay if this is gonna help this group of people then it's going to help everyone and i'm like no because there are like anna said there are people in the body positivity community that literally are like they are severely you know overweight or maybe they're having problems with their weight and like that advice isn't gonna help that person right and so that's the issue is that such a huge it's such a huge group of people and like so you can't just give one um this is what you need to do and it'll fix everybody right and what would happen is i would often eat very large meals at the end of the day that were very caloric that were also delivered to me by a food delivery service so i would kind of just screw up my metabolism in a lot of different ways and i ate a lot of really unhealthy junky food because at that point that's what i wanted to eat because like my body was like starving so one of the biggest changes i've made in this journey is literally just eating three times a day it's not even restricting it's just like getting my body on a schedule i mean that's a huge thing that can help a lot of people that are trying to lose weight is i think that's such a standard thing that i've heard from so many people that you know struggle with their weight is they they get so used to not eating during the day and then it's very easy for you to tell yourself well i might as well um eat this this thing whatever it might be right for me it was like super nachos right like i should eat this because i haven't eaten anything all day anyways right and so like yeah maybe you haven't eaten all day but in reality maybe you've throughout the day you've had 1500 calories worth of food but like in your mind it's not that much and then you eat a meal at the end of the day that ends up being like three four thousand calories and on top of that like she said you were very sedentary so it all just kind of adds up but it's very easy to tell yourself oh i haven't eaten that much so i mean i can eat this it's totally fine that's a very standard thing that happens to a lot of people anyway so i haven't related to this eating disorder community which owns a huge part of the narrative around food in relation to body positivity so i personally um didn't benefit from content that encouraged me to consume freely that content if anything was encouraging me to make less positive decisions for my body oh my gosh that that's it right there like that's it that is that's the point that is the point right there that i have tried to make so many times right like i said earlier like this content might help some people but it's not gonna help everyone and like anna said that didn't help her it wasn't helpful but everyone thinks it is and it's not and it's okay if it doesn't help you you're not a bad person if that advice doesn't help you at the same time i understand why this community creates and and and needs this content it's just not good content for me so we got this first layer that is your fat activist we've got your second layer that is your thin uh individual thin to average size individuals who think that you could love your body as long as it's healthy then you've got the layer of uh eating disorder recovery and then you have this fourth layer which is the hypersexualization of the plus-sized body under the guise of body positivity wow so basically body positivity is like an onion and this one has been very challenging for me because i am not i'm like virtually asexual like i don't know what i am i don't know if i need a moniker for it but like i have no desire to be sexually attractive to someone else and i don't usually get regularly sexually attracted to other people so for me sexual content makes me uncomfortable because i just don't relate to it that much and there is this constant current of like sexualization of the plus body under the guise of body positivity i once i accept myself i will feel comfortable showing myself naked or nearly naked now don't get me wrong i think a woman has the right to get their freak on in any way possible just because it's not my cup of tea does not mean that a woman should not go and love and enjoy her body in a sexual way get it girl don't wow this is i mean obviously i don't i can't relate to that very much but i that's a very very interesting point that i was not expecting um to come from this video and i think that that is a conversation that isn't happening that i think um could be good again not saying that i can relate to it at all but i think that is a very very interesting point wow i don't care i do struggle with it being promoted as a form of body positivity there's a fifth layer on top of all of this that's like the fashion which is people who literally didn't care about body positivity until it became trendy and then they started caring about it in the guise of like wear whatever you want whatever size you are as more of like a marketing like terminology and i mean that's always gonna no matter what no matter what movement there is there are going to be people that are going to find it and be like all right all right so there's a new movement going on guys how can we make money off of it that's going to happen literally always don't relate to that community as well because i love fashion but like to me that's a totally different world so all of these definitions exist and none of them define me i mean i'm just floating around like in a pool of ether around everybody else's opinions like you got some cocktails like where's the category of women that just like don't hate themselves and wish people would stop giving them opinions about their body because that's my category wow so these are the five kind of groups that drive the majority of conversation about body positivity on the internet and the fact that they disagree about so many things it really feels like to me that each of these groups should have their own narratives should have their own monikers and that body positivity is not a fair thing to describe any of their viewpoints in fact you could argue that they are body positive but their agendas are not unrelated so at the end of the day i just didn't fit in so i didn't matter to this community and that was weird and uncomfortable and made me feel very alone and very sad for many many days because i tried so hard to fit in but i always felt like i was faking like i was being someone i didn't like in order to get a group of people who didn't want to see me succeed to like me again remember that this all kicked off because she made a video talking about how she was diagnosed with lipedema and that losing weight for her right now is something that has to happen so she doesn't become immobile in a very short amount of time that just always have that in the back of your head because that is what truly just blows my mind about all of this stuff it took a couple of years of like therapy and self work to be okay with the fact that this community didn't want me because i refused to like saddle up to one of these ideologies and it's it's weird because now i'm left with this perspective that you can be body positive and you can live in a way that is body positive but the body positive community won't necessarily have your back oh 100 oh that's so true absolutely just because you are body positive it does not guarantee that other people who are also body positive will support you and honestly when i step back and say that to myself right now it makes a lot of sense because having the same ideology about something doesn't mean you're going to agree about every other part of the world so um i just had a mini breakthrough right here by the camera i guess i guess that's what it all boils down to body positivity is just like one thing about you so i think when it comes down to it i just didn't relate to the other parts of these communities and felt alone wow vlogging is therapeutic it really is that's why i do these videos with you guys see we're learning about ourselves together i'm not bringing up with a community that frankly i don't think even exists dang she whoo all right and if it does i was never actually a part of i'm just again making the best choices for my health and people are reacting and they're going to do however they are so i'm not going to react to actually people's videos i'm not even going to watch them and i'm going to stay and stay with that because at the end of the day like i said all the way back in the beginning this is about me and what matters right now is my opinion of myself and whether i think i'm making the right choices and right now i'm confident i am and i'll be honest with you if that changes just like i was honest with you right now because i'm not afraid anymore and i don't honestly care what people who've never had a real conversation with me think about me i'm gonna be true about my world and all that other drama feel free to enjoy it like if it's interesting watch it i don't know what else to say i think i've said it all i might have to record some more later to fill in the gaps oh god you did good you did good if you made it through watching this whole video and you don't hate me then i think we're in this for the long haul because i've been wanting to say this for so long and i say it to my friends all the time like this community is such a bull it doesn't even exist and now i've said it to you and now you know the truth at least from my perspective so i hope you enjoyed this truth bomb i hope you have an amazing rest of your day i'll check you later and peace wow i mean jeez i don't even know what else to say i mean she she she hit all the nails i feel like i was just along for the ride on that one like um wow that was that was powerful i think that again it's like she said at the very end the the community doesn't exist and i saw zach in the chat just said it's it's less of a uh community more of a club and i would i would agree with that it's very easy um you know if you're part of a community it's a little harder to get ostracized of a community than it is out of a club right if you're in a club somebody just kick you out super quick um but wow good for her i'm very glad that she isn't watching the videos like honestly she's not going to see this one and more power to you i'm not making these to make you like me more or anything like that really really solid obey the warning signs and when there are flashing lights or wig wags don't attempt to cross until they come to a complete stop [Music]

Channel: ObesetoBeast

Views: 179,476

Rating: 4.946722 out of 5

Keywords: john glaude, fat loss, weight loss, glitter and lazers, anna obrien, body positivity

Id: 4K0zW9wX-O0

Length: 34min 25sec (2065 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 01 2020