Gay people of Reddit, what's a relationship problem you've run in to?( r/ AskReddit )

gay couples what's a relationship problem you've run into that straight couples don't have to deal with in professional situations i have noticed straight people will bring up their husband slash wife slash kids as a way to connect w colleagues and create a sort of social bond w someone new for me bringing up my husband is an act of coming out not knowing how the person will react or what they are thinking even in a progressive area and workplace as nerve-wracking and makes me feel exposed every time my husband and i both work in the same school so we wanted to keep it hidden from the students it's tough not getting to talk about yourself or having to shoot down students when they ask about if you're married in the end they found out anyway another teacher let it slip and it's been totally fine so we were worried about nothing but it's still annoying that we even have to worry about it in the first place you will be coming out to new people forever and ever close t partners personally i don't date people in the closet anymore because it is too hard but constantly being the friend is wearing to your self-worth edit you don't spend years torturing yourself with self-hate before eventually coming out for the first time to then go back in at a later point it happens but it shouldn't so host the woman we're gay there's no woman that's the point edit for all of those who are confused by my user name i am b i hope this clears everything up my girlfriend will literally get catcalled while we are walking down the street together holding hands she is a very petite feminine classically beautiful woman and i am basically some ever dyer's dad i dress like ned flanders they apparently think cheryl changed her mind about her sexuality because a construction worker wants a piece of that ass very difficult to find dance classes that are gay friendly hanging out with straight friends the genders usually end up splitting leaving us in a weird limbo not terrible but still a thing have to be very careful sharing details of your life at work lots of my rumor to die or my friend and i also not wanting to attend work events or having to attend a loan which can affect building rapport with colleagues your straight friends will tell you all the saucy details of their sex life but will not entertain listening to lesbo debauchery pda is always nerve-wracking and my partner and i choose not to do it 99 of the time however she travels a lot and it's really a witch having to deal with people staring and shouting comments whenever i kiss her goodbye at the airport we tried once kissing in the car then unloading the luggage and sending her off but that felt so wrong and fake icc so i'm not really worried for my safety but i really can't wait for the day i can give my gf a hug and a peck in peace side tidbit a few years ago i briefly dated a guy after a breakup with an ex one particular day we went shopping to various males and at the end of the day i was pretty much making out with him in the parking lot that entire day no one batted an eye at us no one even glanced it was the first time it ever experienced that and it felt so freeing yet it made me sad later that it never get to have that with a woman [Music] is this your dress or mine is this your bra or mine is this your chapstick or mine is this your [Music] we have two children and the recent obstacle is other children's parents when my kids want to have sleepovers or day parties a lot of parents don't allow their kids to come if they know him married to a woman also school things teachers call my wife my kids little friend they refuse to refer to her as stepmom the question of hover is the man or the dominate one if you have family that refuses to be accepting or just does not know the stress of still having to go to events and put on a mask your partner getting flu-like symptoms in their family asking if they might have hiv and hint that it may have been from the lifestyle and it was just the flu constant disrespect from many straight people about the relationship expecting they can be the one to change you others have mentioned these but they weigh heavily on most of us so it's worth repeating not feeling safe traveling to certain places or holding hands in public one or both partners not being out and having to lie or pretend to be their friend at family gatherings or work being accosted or harassed in public spaces always when you least suspect it worrying about your kids or parents being bullied because of your relationship not being taken seriously people don't believe that it's not a phase that the sex you have is real that you can be a worthy parent someday etc etc so do i tell them we're just roommates or friends or boyfriends unfortunately if you're being abused your abuser can often follow you into the safe areas female seeking help in a women's shelter your female partner can go there too there's reports that someone will end up in the hospital due to partner abuse and the nurses will let in their friend akka the partner that abuse them in because they don't realize the abuser may be the same sex im not gay actually just did an entire report about this for a class it really showed how heteronormative our society is it really sucks when you hit it off with someone then find out you're both tops either one of you has to be okay with taking it in the but or you just go your separate ways i dated a guy who like me only has a dimple on his right cheek so anytime we'd go out people would ask if were brothers that were strange but wait get a kick out of saying yes then kissing and watching them freak out with my mum it's definitely about who to bother telling when i was younger i know she was really worried about my friends and their parents finding out just because she was worried it would affect the way they would treat me the biggest issue i ran into that i feel straight couples don slash didn't have to deal with was that i wore a feminine ring boyfriend loved the ring and i loved it too every time someone saw the ring they would ask me why am wearing my girlfriend's ring so i would have to make up a lie and say that i used to work at a bar and to make sure the ladies knew i was off limits my girl wanted me to wear the ring while she slept tiresome that i couldn't just explain its the ring my boyfriend loved and wanted me to wear colon open bracket edit a couple people asked for pictures here's one i found still on my facebook edit2 thank you everyone for the congratulations we aren't together anymore but i still have the ring figuring out which and aware is yours also you still have to go through adolescence after you come out this could be in your 20s 30s or even later hopefully this is much less of an issue with the younger generations [Music] running into a mutual ex you did not know you had not necessarily in a relationship but having to worry about if coming out to the special person would be worth it pharaoh has been tons of people i have liked where nothing really happened because i always thought they were straight i wish there were a way that my girlfriend and his future children could share both our genes this is something that some straight couples experience as well but in general most probably don't think about this back to back periods ruining chances of sex for two weeks instead of just one my ex and i wore the same size clothes whether or not we should make a habit of wearing each other's stuff was sometimes a contentious question if you're dating someone who isn't out it can be awkward and makes your relationship feel superficial when i was with my last boyfriend we had to pretend to be best friends around his family the only plus side was that we were allowed to have sleepovers during this time the minute he came out no more sleepovers for me if we have kids which of us gets to be that one i mean if our kids just say hey that it's going to get confusing which one they mean should they call us by our first names can i be papara and my husband dad i dunno [Music] being behind your straight peers in regards to relationship experience after years of being in the closet and a few years of not really accepting myself it can feel like everyone else around you is settling down and you're just figuring out what you want in our ltr also finding some solution to getting lube on the sheets because otherwise you will get lube on the sheets when vacationing or really traveling anywhere unfamiliar to you we have to be careful when going to central america later this year we've already decided we'll have to be discreet about our relationship we specifically researched and the area is much better than others but not perfect so we made the decision to on our honeymoon not be affectionate in public as madaimudi says constant vigilance we could have chosen to go to a different country i guess but we'd have to be careful anywhere as these people exist everywhere and that's another thing we've encountered that's different we actually debated not going to a place we both love and desperately want to visit just because of the reactions we might get if people know we're together just the simplest things like holding hands even in los angeles we get called monster from a car passing by we just don't care feel so natural to us when i mean natural meaning showing pda like everyone else i am getting old donna would have time for the world to catch up at least in my experiences many men don't take lesbian relationships seriously they make it seem like a phase and make assumptions that the relationship is serious or committed as a heterosexual relationship so host the man and host the woman there's an inherent danger in being yourselves around people you don't know walking down the street holding hands with my gf could set someone off her kissing me on the cheek or hugging me could set someone off you never know hoss okay and hoss going to react poorly if not violently to you being gay thankfully the town i'm moving to with her we know is pretty chill she's lived there a while so i trust her judgment 100x over also one partner not being out i've only recently been comfortable being out to my family came out because i was dating aforementioned gf but it can be a pain in the ass to deal with for example i'm not out to my grandparents because they are very bible thumpy and hard right-wing conservatives they are super homophobic so i have to be careful not to casually mention my girlfriend around them which i can mention around basically anyone else at this point it can be harder if your partner isn't out as you also have to watch out to make sure you don't accidentally out them as it can be a safety issue for them but overall it's not a problem with our relationship itself it's more a problem stemming from people's views of a gay relationship sex plus two menstrual cycles not being able to do pdas just about anywhere without pissing someone off edit i was not really referring to making out i mean things like hugs touching peck on the cheek holding hands etc pretty much outside of safe zone bar or restaurant oftentimes not being able to immediately duck some guys are super paranoid and can spend quite a while getting ready to prevent mistakes from arising my friend and his boyfriend constantly had to worry about looking like a couple when we left the country they rarely held hands when we were on vacation except maybe in the resort [Music] you

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Id: i5fcXiRvmmA

Length: 13min 16sec (796 seconds)

Published: Mon May 04 2020