Childhood Stories-Johnny

today i'm going to take you more through some through some stories of mine that you know that are true you know i mean um i was a young man are the others not true oh they're all true they're all true everyone i tell you is true you know what i mean um i'm gonna take you through the age today you know uh when i was about 13 years old i think maybe 13 or 14 years old i was going around stealing cars you know my homie came to me at school and he's like hey you know your average 14 13 year old wouldn't be doing the things that i'm going to share with you guys but you know i'm sharing it today because you know i want a lot of 13 to 14 year olds out there to know that everything is not precious and big with being a gang member you know everything is not the way they think you know the way they portray it the way they paint a picture of it you know there's a lot of reality that [ __ ] happens to you and it haunts you in the long run when i was about 13 14 you know my homie came to school and he was like hey man he had a shoe box and i said what's that you know so he opens the shoe box and i see like maybe there's like 300 keys and they're all the same keys and i tell them where he goes go ahead and grab a handful and i'm like what do i want to have food for they're all the same key i'll just take one you say well they're the master keys to all toyota celicas from 87 all the way to 90. you know i'm like what do you mean the master key said you could open the door you could start the ignition the trunk i said all right so he gives me a handful i put in my pocket well that night i get ready you know and it takes me about an hour to get ready because i want to crease my pants you know i mean i want a crease man i increase my underwear i tell you the truth so i get all creased up ready to go put on my headband and we go to a party me and my homegirls we go to a party we're kicking it over there and i had my handbag real real low i used to wear my [ __ ] lower i could see everybody at waist level you know i mean i wasn't worried about their face i was more worried about their hands you know i used to watch their hands you know see if they would reach in their pockets if they would touch their waist you know i was really on it you know and i got schooled by my uncles they told me always watch a man's hands and his waist you know that'll tell you everything if he reaches in his pockets when you get close to him or any sort of movement so you know i got my bandana real real low and my homegirl tells me hey let's let's jam you know so i'm like all right we're up there in whittier and i tell her well you know what i don't feel like walking so what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna go search around the area and i'm gonna see if i can find us a car to take you know and she says how are you going to take it at that time i didn't know how to hot wire yet yet i told her i got the master keys to toyota celicas so lo and behold i'm walking i see this toyota celica man they got some rims on it it's like a light brown it's maybe like a tan color i look inside it badass stereo the interior is like leather it's like it's a brand new toyota celica it's probably about 89. we're in that year so i'm think it's about christmas time right about christmas so i get in i open the door i put it in the door it opens i get in i start it i'm like oh [ __ ] it's a stick shift you know i learned how to drive stick shift but i learned how to drive and stolen cars i must have learned about [ __ ] about 15 clutches as i'm going through you know each car i'm burning clutches burning clutches and i just leave the car there you know a couple i would drive to the riverbed and park them you know i mean so the streets won't get that hot you know i tell you i'm not your average 13 14 year old my mind's thinking a little bit quicker than others you know i'm getting i'm listening a lot to what people are saying you know at that time because i want to be that gangster that everybody fears everybody wants to be everybody you know wants to hang around with i just wanted to be that guy so i get this car i'm inside it i start it up i put it in first gear everything's going cool i grind it in the second grinding the third i turn around the corner my homegirl's not there she's there with her sister her other sister and two of my homies from another hood they're all right there and i'm going to tell you the celica they're not all that big so they all want to get in i'm thinking [ __ ] it it's a g right anyways everybody get in so everybody gets in boom we get in well my homie gets in the side of me and he tells me hey i got something right here and i said what you got so he shows me right he got the strap right so i'm like oh [ __ ] all right cool let's go so we go we're searching we're looking you know we're gonna go gang man we're gonna shoot somebody bottom line so as we're going we cruise down the street my sister used to live and i knew a lot of dudes used to kick it from the enemy hood right there by my sister's house so we cruise up boom we go at this time i switched places with the homie he wanted to drive i wanted to do the deed so we go we hit a corner we see these foods kicking back on the porch you know i mean i do my thing i put my beanie real low i go and i bust on these foods now i don't know if i hit anybody i heard some screaming i've seen some people falling but i don't know if i ever hurt anybody or hit anybody but i shot at him so as we shoot at him i jump in the shotgun seat we're going and we start hitting these dips we're going down the street and he's hauling ass and we're hitting these dips boom and we're hitting him so hard that sparks are coming out the back of the car and i'm telling him slow down slow down we're all right we're all right he's like no i just seen a cop at the at the last block so i'm like so as soon as we hit a corner a cop turns the corner and we're face to face with him he's got to stop saying we're at a stop sign i got the gun in my hand i have gloves on i'm like oh [ __ ] i go look man drive as fast as you can i go a matter of fact let's switch places so right in front of the cup we switch places i just shot so i feel i want to drive i don't want to leave him to drive because i'm not going to trust in him i'ma trust in my driving so i get in the driver's seat the cop sees everything goes down he pulls up on the side of me tells me hey uh do you have license and registration i look at him i tell him you don't see how young i am i'm like 13 14 years old he's asking for for license and registration i know you can see how young i am i don't have no facial hair or nothing i'm real young so i tell him yeah yeah i got it so i play him off i'm about to pull over i pull over to the side i keep it i keep i put in neutral i'm looking through my mirror and i see him you know he's doing his thing he gets off the car as soon as he gets off and he closes his door [ __ ] it i put it in first boom let's go i tell my homegirls man i'm not stopping for nothing there's no [ __ ] red lights no stop signs i'm not stopping for nobody so we come out this this residential street we're going i must be doing about 45. we come out to this to this main street and i turn and the whole car slides to the other side of the street we barely miss this old man coming in in a truck we barely miss him i mean i could see the dude's face like we're looking right at each other our cars slide right by each other right so i'm going here we come now i'm going down norwalk boulevard and it has nothing but main streets that run through it i got about a quarter mile maybe to get to my hood and i'm like man i ain't stopping so as i'm as i'm going i'm telling my homies and home girls i'm not stopping for no red lights lo and behold here we come up to a red light i tell them look everybody just duck that's all i could tell them just duck i'm a duck we're gonna go through the red light so as we hit the first red light i remember i tell him duck and i duck and we go through the red light i don't want to see if anybody's gonna hit me you know i mean i don't i'm just saying [ __ ] it let's go so we will run one red light boom we go we're hauling ass i can hear the sirens but i can't see behind me because my own girl she has one of those big ass hairdos they used to wear back then i guess it was a cha-cha i can't see through the [ __ ] rear view mirror i'm not even tripping to look through the side mirror i'm trying to see the review to see how far they are behind me don't behold their way back there but i can hear the sirens so i'm thinking they're right behind me i must be doing about 60 65 we're on the main street here comes another [ __ ] light it's red again so i'm like [ __ ] everybody get down i get down put my head down the steering wheel we go through it we just go through it i hear cars almost hit me horns blasting we go through and i'm thinking okay now what the [ __ ] am i gonna do how am i gonna get away from these [ __ ] they're behind me i know there's at least four cars behind me because as i'm going down the streets i see the cars of the cops parked on each main street that i'm passing they're waiting to get in back of me you know me so i pass them boom i see them boom so we're going there must be about four or five cars behind me but i'm hauling ass now i'm doing about 60 65 and i'm hauling this and i'm thinking there's little residential streets i'm thinking i'm gonna turn down a residential street stop the car everybody get off and run whoever gets caught gets caught well as i'm going i turn down this little residential street and my [ __ ] car doesn't turn it [ __ ] locks up it just locks up i guess with all the weight of everybody it's so small of a car that it locks up and it slides and where it slides into is this feed store where my father used to take me when i was a young kid to go by pigeon feed for his [ __ ] pigeons i hit that [ __ ] store i go inside the store i end up killing [ __ ] chickens some ducks i think i killed a dog i don't know if i killed some animals but as we hit we hit and i come to after the wreck i come to the [ __ ] car smoking the windshield's busted because my homegirl in the middle she went through the windshield she's laying over the dashboard on top of the [ __ ] hood my homie i look at my homie he's all dazed me and my homie get my homegirl and we pull her back and when we pull her back she has her [ __ ] forehead just sliced open all the way on top and bud's just leaking and i'm like oh [ __ ] i [ __ ] my homegirl's face up all she tells me is run so as i'm thinking of running i remember i dropped the pistol on the on the floorboard of the car because i'm looking for i don't have it finally i grab it boom i put it in my waist the door's jammed from the wreck so i can't get out but the window had you know got [ __ ] up so it had kind of fell so anyways i get my homies oh my homie has like a screwdriver a hammer i forgot and i break the window now all this time that i'm breaking the window and i pull my homegirl back the cops ain't even there yet i didn't know that the cops were maybe like four or five blocks behind me because every red light i ran they weren't gonna just run the red light the same way i did it i did it they have sirens and [ __ ] but i was running them like [ __ ] it i didn't care what happened so they were far behind i break the window i get out now there's this alley i see and i remember this alley when my father used to take me his car remember this alley i can run down so i run down the alley i run down the alley i get to the next street i make a left and i see this ups van and this ups van it's still running you know so i run and i get under it i get under it i'm thinking the cops ain't gonna see me all of a sudden i hear like it sounds like horses hooves you know they're on the ground it's going i'm like what the [ __ ] is that and this big ass [ __ ] german shepherd i mean big as [ __ ] pure black [ __ ] dark ass eyes comes running right up to the [ __ ] ups truck and i'm thinking [ __ ] he's gonna bite me [ __ ] [ __ ] stops and he starts circling around the ups van and i'm like what the [ __ ] at that time i didn't know that the ups van was kicking off fumes and the dog could only smell me up to the ups man but he's running in a circle now at this time i don't know that this is a police dog i'm thinking this is somebody's dog that just chased me down the alley but he's a big [ __ ] dog and i'm like [ __ ] so i wait i wait and i say when he gets to the [ __ ] far corner when he circles around again he gets through this far corner i'm gonna break the other way so i wait for him he gets to the far corner boom i get out i start running again i hear the [ __ ] right behind me i jump a fence i'm i jump a fence i heard a little fence i look back and this [ __ ] just leaves it like nothing i'm saying oh [ __ ] this who's on me now i know he don't belong to someone else i'm thinking now in my mind i'm saying [ __ ] this is a [ __ ] canine my homies have warned me before about the canines and told me how to get away from them so i'm like boom i look i'm running through this backyard i look to the side and i see a fence and then it has a wall behind it and i'm like [ __ ] if i can hit this fence get on the wall pull myself up this [ __ ] ain't gonna be able to jump in sure enough i hit the fence i grab the wall i pull myself up as soon as i pull myself up [ __ ] barely misses me you know he barely misses me i feel the wind from his mouth just right at my leg and i'm like [ __ ] so i'm on top of the wall i'm like oh this food can't jump up there i'm gone well as soon as i jump down i hit the ground and as soon as i hit the ground i try to get up and i can't get up and what the [ __ ] my legs just like went out well i didn't know when i wrecked my knees had hit the steering wheel and i had split both of my knees right here well all the adrenaline for me running as soon as i guess i hit the ground my legs just gave out so now i'm pulling myself through some ladies backyard the reason i know it's a lady i'll tell you right now why i know it's a lady but i'm pulling myself through this backyard i can see the [ __ ] chopper circling i could hear all the cops there i hear the dogs still so i pull myself my homie comes out of hiding behind a bush i guess he ran one direction i ran the other direction but we ended up in the same [ __ ] backyard and this is like seven houses down from where we actually were actually wrecked so i see my homie run up to me he's like what's up get up let's go i go i can't run dog just help me hide me somewhere so he grabs me i remember he's dragging me through the grass and i'm trying to hurry because i can hear the [ __ ] dog it's barking and barking and then i hear the cops and i'm saying okay it's a [ __ ] canine i tell him stash me somewhere well he pulls me into this this house and it got like a uh uh in the backyard it got like a uh you know like a patio and in the patio there's a there's a pool table and i tell them [ __ ] it pull me to the pool table the pool table has a green tarp over it i guess they weren't using it it had a green tarp over it and i'm like [ __ ] put me under so he puts me under there now i'm trying to steady my breathing because i don't want the dog or the guy to hear me because they're searching i can hear him searching through the yards or getting closer well my homie he gets up and he runs and he gets into the garage there's a garage right there there's a white door he gets inside and he closes the door and locks it i can hear him so i'm kicking back i'm waiting i'm waiting and all of a sudden within [ __ ] i'd say maybe 15 to 20 seconds after i'm sitting there the [ __ ] tarp just busted in my face it's the [ __ ] dog and he [ __ ] snatches my arm well when he snatches my arm he snatches my wrist i grab like this and i [ __ ] grab him by his mouth and i'm [ __ ] like really [ __ ] bit he bit me like twice once in the wrist once in the arm so i grab him and i'm gonna [ __ ] rip his mouth open like [ __ ] this dog i'm gonna kill this dog you know he already bit me twice i've been bitten by dogs i hate being bit so i grab this [ __ ] and i'm about to [ __ ] by that time we slid out the other side of the pool table from the struggle i'm about to rip this [ __ ] i'm gonna i just want to rip his mouth open all of a sudden boom i just see a white light boom and [ __ ] everything goes black when i wake up i [ __ ] wake up and this dog has a hold of my arm and he's [ __ ] just shaking it and i see my whole arm just you know as he's shaking my arms just flinging back and forth and i'm like what the [ __ ] so i suck the dog i try to suck the dog and he hits him in his nose he lets go i guess the cop that runs me said some [ __ ] to him he grabbed the dog pull them off the cops get on me they handcuffed me okay they handcuffed me now the cop comes and he puts his [ __ ] foot on my face he says where's your homie at where's your home yet i know my homies in the garage but i'm not going to give up my homie you know i'm not going to give him up i'm caught you know maybe they won't catch him they'll just take me well he's asking me he's asking me and he has this [ __ ] canine and he's snapping in my face he's snapping and i'm scared i'm only 14 years old the cops got me you know i mean i don't know where i'm in the enemy hood i just shot at a [ __ ] so i'm thinking damn you know when they got my ass while he's snapping and he's snapping he asked me again he says i'm gonna ask you one more time if you don't tell me where it is i'm going to let the dog go again he goes where is he at i don't tell him [ __ ] he lets the dog go now the dog gets on my leg that's the most excruciating pain i've ever felt you know i mean like i stated earlier to all you young kids that are young i'm 13 14 years old at that age you're supposed to be at disneyland you know what i mean chuck e cheese you know birthday parties you're not supposed to be out here shooting at people stealing cars running from the cops you know but i chose to do that those were my own choices well he lets him go he's chewing on my [ __ ] leg i'm screaming i'm screaming i'm asking him to get the dog off me never once did i give up my homie he takes the dog off me at that time another canine comes in and i'm like oh [ __ ] he's gonna stick another one on me now there's two canines well lo and behold that canine runs up to that [ __ ] white door and he's jumping on the door and he's barking and they're giving commands to my homie inside hey come out i'm put the dog on you come out unlock it i hear my homie inside all right i'm coming out i'm coming out he unlocks the door [ __ ] as soon as that door opens that [ __ ] canine jumps on him hits him in the chest pushes him down i hear my homies screaming i mean it was ironic because i if my homie heard me screaming i heard him screaming after they chew his ass up both his legs they didn't get his arms because he put his arms behind his back to handcuff them and i guess from what i found out whenever they release a canine on someone they have to let them bite you you have to remember that they can't just let a k-9 go bite you or then the next time tell them not to bite you and then to bite you they can't tell the dog to do back and forth because the dog's gonna get confused so he has to bite you every time so they get us both they take us back to where the car is at the [ __ ] cars total that [ __ ] is smashed it just got smashed like a little [ __ ] box my home girls are handcuffed and everything they know that the amulets are attending to her and i tell them i look at my homegirl she's like i'm okay i'm okay i'm like all right so they take us from there they put us in the paramedics they take us to a to some hospital in pico rivera it's called the dog and cast hospital the dog and cat hospital they take us there you know they're cleaning our wounds and [ __ ] and then they're asking how old are you how old are we i tell them i think i'm 14 homies 14 yeah we're about the same age 14 and 15 they tell us we're taking you to the general hospital to the jail ward now the jail award is for adults but i guess if you're 14 years old and up they take you to the jail ward so they take me to the 13th floor of the jail ward i get to the jail ward you know the nurses are being nice and everything they clean my wounds all of a sudden i hear my grandfather's voice he's in the hallway he's talking [ __ ] to the arresting officer because he's telling him do you know my grandson is 14 years old you know you stick the canines on him you know i guess my grandfather spoke to the lady that that house belonged to because as that dog was biting me i didn't know that the lady had came out the house and seen the dog biting me and told the cops to take the dog off me she seen that i was just a kid so she's telling the cops take take the dog off them i didn't hear that i only hear my own screaming you know i'm [ __ ] yelling the dogs buying the [ __ ] out of me so my grandfather's arguing with this cop they come in they come back in they tell me hey we're taking you to juvenile hall so i'm like all right whatever we go to juvenile hall i get to juvenile hall we go to court in a couple days they let me out i go home my [ __ ] arms is big you know my legs is big i can barely walk can't even move my [ __ ] right side so you know i got [ __ ] up that time so long behold i heal everything's cool you don't mean i go to i don't even go to jail for that one so lo and behold we're kicking it i grab my little cousin it's about maybe about two three months later i grab my little cousin i tell him hey let's go over here to this spot you know what i mean i got this girl pregnant you know she's gonna have a baby shower let's go over here he says yeah but it's close to the enemy hood i said i'm i don't trip those foods ain't gonna know so we go over there we get inside we're kicking it i get to the kitchen and i'm rolling a joint you know i mean i'm rolling a joint and i i remember i'm about to lick the joint and i hear the front door open and i look to the side and four [ __ ] walk in and the first dude i recognize him i'm like oh [ __ ] this fool has my ass this fool right here has already erased [ __ ] so and what i mean by a race you should know what i mean he erased him got rid of him and i'm like oh [ __ ] i ain't got a gun i ain't got a knife i ain't got nothing he's coming in the door i'm thinking how in the [ __ ] does this [ __ ] know we're here well i was [ __ ] with his homegirls about three months previous and they got upset and his hunger decides to let them know where we're at so we go you know me we're in there i roll a joint i'm licking it here he comes in has a few words with my cousin you know what i mean my cousin tells him step outside the dude walks out my aunt's in there because it's a baby shower they're telling us to calm down whatever as my cousin's coming out the end i [ __ ] pull a knife out give it to him i grab me something we go outside we end up whacking these [ __ ] in front of everybody what i mean by whacking is we stab these dudes i mean one of the dudes was stabbed so much that they took him to the hospital you know what i mean and no more we didn't get caught but i knew that these dudes had the reputation of coming back so about a week later i'm kicking it and i'm barbecuing some steaks on the grill or inside the apartment complex kicking in and barbecuing on the grill and i look up and i see four individuals walk up one got a shotgun the other one got a handgun the other one got a handgun i figure i'm through i have a nine millimeter in my back i had just bought a nine millimeter i have it in my back so i pull it out we all aim boom at the same time we all aim and the older dude says what's up man you know i guess the dude that we had stabbed made up a story he made up a story that i asked him to come and kick it with us and that i set him up and then we jumped him and we stabbed him and that's how it happened it didn't happen like that the dude stats slapped my aunt so i stabbed the [ __ ] out of him for slapping my aunt you know i can't go home and face my family them being all gang members and tell them hey i was at a party your sister my aunt got slapped and i didn't do [ __ ] you know so this older dude asked me hey man you set up my homie i said i said nobody up your homie came and slapped my aunt so he asked me well who's your aunt as soon as i told him who my aunt was he started slapping the [ __ ] out of one of his homies that had the gun he started pistol whipping with the gun boom he's pissed a whipping with the gun i'm like hey wait up man you know dude wasn't even there you know i mean a lot of times that i got into incidents i noticed that when the truth comes out the older dudes that are taking care of business always start either slapping their homies beating their homies pistol whipping them and i'm wondering why they're doing that they came with them to handle business but yet when the truth comes out they start beating on them several occasions i have had dudes beating on their homies behind me just giving the truth i feel that the truth will outlast anything a lie changes you know what i mean and dude was running his mouth but as soon as i told the older dude what happened they put the guns down he starts pistol whipping his homie i ask him to leave him alone then i get a conversation with the older dude you know me and i tell him look man this is what happened i ran him down what happened i let him know who my family was he said cool nothing will come from this all right cool i'm i ain't tripping so about i say three days later me and my homie are kicking it and i'm selling glass at that time but it's it's peanut butter crank i'm selling peanut butter crank right and somebody tells me go inside and check on my my girlfriend you know so i get up i go check out my girlfriend as soon as i'm walking to the front door i hear some voices so i look out the window and i see the same exact dude that i stabbed he has my homie on the ground with the shotgun through his face and he's asking him where i'm at now he's asking him where i'm at i left my gun in another apartment and i'm like [ __ ] i don't have my gun on me this who has my homie i'm like he's gonna kill my homie he doesn't kill him he he's asking only for me you know what i mean and i knew they were coming back again so what i did was i made a phone call i called it homies i said check it out this fool came back again you know me and he had my homie with a shotgun to his face my homie's upset you know i'm either going to take it to my older homies and we're going to go over there to your hood and [ __ ] your homie off or you guys are going to [ __ ] him off because from my understanding it was supposed to be over but you always got to remember when you're in the gang scene and you tell somebody that it's the end it's never the end because somebody's always related to somebody else you know me someone has a little brother you know the dude that i stabbed he ended up picking up a life sentence about five years later i'm kicking at this apartment and we're getting high and three or four or five dudes walk in and i recognize one of the dudes he looks real familiar and asking me what's your name he tells me his name and then he tells me my brother's so-and-so and i'm like [ __ ] how am i gonna tell this kid that i'm the one that did that to his brother's face you know and then he comes and he tells me um you know who my brother is man and i'm like man i don't want to tell this young kid well he's younger than me he's not really that young he's about four or five years younger than me but i don't want to tell him what i did to his brother because he's gonna get upset and he's i'm gonna have to hurt the little [ __ ] but i tell him anyways man look this is what happened with your brother he was there with your home and your homie [ __ ] up your brother got served because of your homie but it's all over and done with so i ended up kicking with this little youngster you know what i mean and he was a solid dude you know i mean he was good and everything and he tells me hey you know um he says the fool's from he says another gang he goes i've been trying to put him work on him but i can't find him well they're the enemies of us too so i tell them well check it out i'll go with you what we'll do is we'll take two cars the front car will leave with girls inside now this is how i used to do it the front car will have all women inside the bad car will have all guys inside with the firearms loaded up with the guns what we would do is we would let the home girls cruise up call these dudes now these dudes see all women in a car they're thinking [ __ ] it they roll up on them you know i mean hey girl what's up my homegirls whistle call these dudes were a little bit ways back with no lights on as soon as the dudes walk up to the car my home girls know as soon as they see us come up they leave so we drive up they leave this little youngster don't reach out the window he jumps out the window runs chases the dudes in the backyard i hear a gang of firing going on i mean he must unload the whole clip on these dudes he runs back in he gets in and i see him he's white as a ghost you know and i'm like what the [ __ ] i take off right we leave we're in a g right we leave as we're going down the street i'm looking at him right and he puts his head between his legs and he he just throws up inside the car and i'm like [ __ ] i ain't never seen anybody throw up i never threw up you know i mean i think i threw up one time i seen something and i threw it one time but i don't know what he did but he threw up in the car and i'm like [ __ ] let's get another car [ __ ] this car it's starting to smell you know he he threw up a lot in there and he's telling me oh just take me home just take me home i'm like i'm not going to your hood to take you home [ __ ] that if i go to his hood to take him home he lives like right in the heart of his neighborhood i ain't going in there so i tell him i'll leave you at the corner i leave him at the corner he goes home about i say about five days later he calls me again he tells me man these fools came came back shot two of my homies what's up could you take me on another mission i'm like look man i told him look like this time i'm about 16 years old i tell him look man our hoods don't get along but we're not really enemies but since that happened with your brother and you know what happened i'm gonna take you again you know so i go and i pick this youngster up he comes running out of his house he looks happy you know he don't look the same way he looked at one day when i dropped him off he looks like a whole new person he comes in he got this rifle it's it's i think it's a 22 rifle and it has a banana clip and this [ __ ] banana clip is see-through and i'm looking at it i'm like damn this [ __ ] i mean this banana clip must be about this long and it it's shaped like a banana and it's loaded all the way down and i'm like what are you gonna do he's like look i went over here and i wrote on the wall he goes these fools are gonna come and cross me out and i want to be across the street and i'm gonna light him up and i was like damn this fool's young he's like 13 years old i'm thinking how would a 13 year old think of something like that i've never thought of that and i've thought of everything i thought of jogging through the park i thought of jogging up on guys with a wig on i've tried everything but this dude's talking about he wrote his name and [ __ ] on the wall he's gonna wait for them to cross it out so we sat there we must have sat there for like an hour man i'm already getting tired of sitting there we smoked like three four drones we smoked the lovely i'm high as [ __ ] we're drinking we're in the g right i'm like but we're sitting in a g right here on a main street he's like man they're gonna come they're gonna come i say about half an hour after he tells me they're gonna come here comes two guys and they're coming they cross the street we're watching them you know we could see their gangsters because at that time you know for you young kids that don't know you know back then you could spot a gangster anywhere you could see a crowd of 50 people and there could be two or three people sticking out because of the way they dress the way they look the way they walk the way they talk the way they look at you you know they're gang related nowadays you can't even tell but back then we see these guys walking across the street and i'm like okay we got him we got him i said what do you want me to do you want me he's like no don't drive up on him i'm gonna walk up on him i'm like this kid's crazy you know what i mean he wants to get off the car and handle his business and then come back to the car you know for any of you know that have went on missions from a [ __ ] to handle business and come back to the car it's not him handling business it's you getting away that's the number one thing getting away so he handles his business and i always remember how this situation looked because i'm watching it like i'm watching a tv he walks up to the two dudes they're spraying on the wall and he just starts letting off on them and i always remember these dudes were like i always told people that if you can ever make a [ __ ] a [ __ ] pop lock you know because every time he hit him the dudes were like just shaking you know like they were they were pop blocking like he was just hitting both of them he let the whole clip off on both these fools either one of them hit the floor they were able to run i mean they were leaking i know they were leaking because he shot him a lot of times he comes back the gun's smoking the clips empty he [ __ ] empty the whole thing and i think it was a 32 or a 38 round clip he empties the whole [ __ ] thing on him and i'm like i look at him he gets in the car he's [ __ ] stone white again i'm like look who if you're gonna throw up tell me you're gonna throw up oh stop the car [ __ ] we get about three blocks she's like dr car stop the car i'm like what what stop the car [ __ ] i stop the car he gets out he's throwing up i tell him get the [ __ ] in the car we're only three blocks away from where he did the actual shooting i'm like get in the car he gets in the car we go he tells me hey let's go kick it at my house at this time he had moved a little bit out of his hood so we go kick it at his house i love to kick it at his house his sisters he got like four of them they're beautiful so i started messing with them you know what i mean i'm being with the sisters the phone rings one day i answer it i never should have answered it it was his brother calling from prison i answered hello his brother his brother's 18 got a life sentence i think he got like something like a hundred of life 98 life or something for killing somebody in in a liquor store so i answered the phone alone you know it's collect call from this state penitentiary move i said i accept it hello he's like who's this and me instead of saying i'm someone else i tell him who it is he [ __ ] blows it on the other end i'm like i put the phone down i call one of the scissors i'm like your brother's on the phone they get on the phone with the brother the little brother gets on the phone he starts talking to his older brother now his older brother wants to talk to me so i get back on the phone and i'm young this dude's a little bit older he tells me man what the [ __ ] are you doing taking my brother around handling his business i said check it out your brother calls me i don't go call him he said your brother calls me you left him out here he's not my responsibility he's yours you know because i'm a strong believer in if you have a little brother and a little sister it's your responsibility to guide them in the right way me i guided my little brother in the wrong way you know i mean i took my little brother on missions me and him did so much [ __ ] that sometimes i feel guilty about the things that i took my little brother to do but in my mind i know that my little brother if he ever talks on here i think he's just a little bit more treacherous than i am a little bit more dangerous and he's just a little bit more crazy because he's the type of [ __ ] that he'll let your air out and he won't give a [ __ ] he'll want to eat right after go [ __ ] drink something he don't throw up he don't get sick he doesn't get scared he doesn't duck you know me we've been shot at several times we stand in the front yard fool came by with a [ __ ] mozberg shotgun hanging out the window and i remember this dude [ __ ] let off that [ __ ] shotgun and i hit the ground and when i look up my little brother's just standing there you know and he's he don't duck and i ask why don't you duck he says what happens if i duck and dude shoots me when i'm on the floor [ __ ] it i'ma stay still let him shoot you know and i wish i could bring him to speak to you guys as well because i'm trying to find him i can't find him i'm trying but he's a little more treacherous than i am you know but he was my little brother and i feel guilty that if you have a little brother you shouldn't take him through the stages that i took him through you know what meaning because i used to think of things and the time my little brother let's go he wouldn't hesitate we'd go do something and then we wouldn't want to come outside at all i shared that before we wouldn't come outside at all just for what we did out there on the streets you know so this little youngster that i got with me now that his brother said it's okay and he can roll with me i keep this little youngster with me because number one he's not afraid to handle business number two he doesn't run his mouth he's not the type of [ __ ] that will go around and tell a story because if you do something to get away with it when you tell it again it's like doing it all over again i share these because these happen many many years ago i only did my time for most of them and i'm sharing with you guys what i've experienced to let you know everything is not good when after i ran with this little youngster i ended up going to juvenile camp for a whole year you're only supposed to be do three months but because i was in juvenile camp and i was from a gang and because my gang got along with a lot of gangs around us but what happened was i went and did a little juvenile time i got out got to the park there's another gang another gang and another gang with my gang there and i'm wondering what the [ __ ] are these other gangs doing here well what they're doing is they want to all kick it together and declare war on everybody else so now when i go back to jupiter when i'm in july the first time i'm running into games that i get along with when i circle around and come back the next time this is the bad part i come back the next time all these dudes that i was kicking with they're all my enemies now now i gotta fight with all of them and they want my enemies to begin with they were the enemies of this dude's hood but since we get along we probably got along with this hood and they didn't they did and they didn't so we'd party with them this field would come would get into it with them but we're with them and it wouldn't work like that so we said [ __ ] it since that's happening and it keeps on happening you know you guys are kicking it with someone and we're getting into [ __ ] it happened we're kicking here one day right we're kicking it with these dudes and three carlos pull up and we're like when the [ __ ] is that dog and these dudes tell us who it is and we're like what the [ __ ] how do you guys bring these [ __ ] we get into with them shots are [ __ ] exchanged somebody dies on that side it happened we had the we had the meeting and we said [ __ ] it let's get along we declare war on everybody i went back to juneau i had the roughest time in juvenile hall that was my roughest time ever waiting to go to placement i [ __ ] must have fought like 15 times went to the hole like 10 times because of the fact that all these dudes i used to kick it with now they know they're my arch enemy not because we did anything to their hood but because we get along with a hood that don't get along with them so that just makes for my enemy instantly so i got all these [ __ ] enemies i go to camp and there must be like 15 [ __ ] i don't get along with and when you get to camp you have to line them up for you kids that don't know when you go to juvenile camp you have to line up your enemies one at a time and you're going to fight with every one of them because if you don't fight with one they're going to label you as that a loser a level whatever you want to call it and you're going to get all your [ __ ] took all your stories going to get taken you're going to [ __ ] pay somebody to take care of you in other words you're going to be like a punk you're going to be like somebody's woman you know everything you get from your family he's going to get what he wants out of it and then give you what he wants to give you you know what means so you have to remember doing time ain't all what it seems to be don't get me wrong before when i went to prison the first time as soon as you get to jail you get a care package boom soups coffee tobacco whatever you want then your homies send you something you got [ __ ] like you just went to store you go to jail now they won't even give you a [ __ ] shot of coffee you know you sit in a room maybe like 23 hours out of the day they let you go eat use the bathroom when you have to but you're in a room the door's locked and you sit there for hour after hour no books no games to play you can't use the phone nothing like that you just sit there and wait until you go to court and then you gotta wait again until they send you either the placement camp and as you're going through that whole process you're fighting left and right left and right and i mean you can't show no kind of weakness because if you do like i said they're going to take advantage of you they're going to take your money that comes your story that comes whatever thing you have that you think is yours it's not yours anymore you have to give it up before you want to go to juvenile hall you want to go to jail you have to remember those things come at a very very large price your record and your jacket just gets bigger and bigger and every time you go to court and they see you that's the first thing the judge sees your record if you have a bad one he's going to send you to the most nastiest places there are and they got nasty ass places where the staff there treats you like [ __ ] they don't say uh uh how you doing mijo or how you doing baby kid no hey [ __ ] you don't mean or a stupid you know they talk to you very very bad they're not your parents you know they just they they make you feel like you're so little you're so small like you don't want to come back anymore but you know once you get out there you're going to do the same thing over and over i knew at 15 years old when i put my teardrop on my face that i was destined for prison when i came home and everybody cried because i had a tear drop on my face my grandmother was only one not crying because she knew that i was gonna go to prison eventually and i already knew i just didn't know when i didn't know i was going to go at 18 i thought maybe 21 25 but i went at 18. you know and at 18 years old you're supposed to be graduating high school going to your prom i didn't go to no prom i didn't graduate high school i graduated high school in prison you know and that's not the place to graduate yeah they gave me a gallon and a hat and took one picture but i didn't get to go and party with my homies my homegirls you know my friends from school [ __ ] no i made it to the 10th grade and that was it by the 10th grade i had a girl pregnant you know what i mean i had a responsibility now now i got to be a man and i'm still just a kid you know so when you got those years as being a kid they used to tell me hey be with all the women you can either you're young do everything now that you're young when you get older you're going to wish you were young again now i see that now that i'm older yeah i wish i was young again because i would have did certain things different not saying that i sit here and i hate my lifestyle no at times i love my lifestyle there are times there was times before when i loved to pump fear into people you know just to look at them in a certain way and you see them shake or you see their eyes move a certain way you know you got them i used to be that individual nowadays i'm not that individual anymore i don't promote violence i'm a violent [ __ ] when it comes down to it you know but i got that guy that bad bad person and locked him up so down deep inside that i don't want to let him out because if he comes out i know i'm going back to jail you know i took so many risks out there being a young man 14 15 16 stabbing people jumping people people that i didn't even know you know maybe they got something with my homies down the road and i was the one that always i didn't want to raise my hand and say i'll do it i was just the one to say give me the [ __ ] i'll go handle it and i always used to do that over and over and it cost me so much it cost me my wife my kids most of my life you know i've been out of prison maybe like 10 years now and it only seems like a year it went by so fast you know and in jail you know you must get a routine down and you must follow all rules you know and rules are there they're not meant to be broken you can bend them stretch them put them in any way you want but you can't break them you know what i mean and i tell you this because people glamorize being a gangster being in prison if you really think about it you shower with men you're around men all day you're not around no women if you're lucky you'll get family visits but if you kill somebody or you almost kill somebody you're not never gonna see your wife you're never gonna spend three days with her in a little house for for three days with your kids and your wife you're not gonna get that they don't give that to to those type of people the people that are very violent you know i used to be i used to like to be one of the most violent [ __ ] i could be you know anything that came about and i thought i was right man for the job i would just do it i wouldn't ask i'll just do it i wouldn't raise my hand because i didn't want to be picked on and say okay it's your turn and then me to say nah i never yes i did i asked to do something i raised my hand so much that now this next [ __ ] that has a little bit more juice he raised my hand for me you know and in juvenile hall it's not like that in juvenile hall you get to keep your pride and everything tucked inside because dudes will talk about your mother talk about your sisters talk about your brother talk about your girlfriend you know they'll try to break you in any way they can because there's children in there but a lot of those guys think at a higher level you know you're when you're in the gang life you know you see things that the average youngster wouldn't see you know what i mean i've seen people get shot i've seen people get knocked the [ __ ] out get their pockets checked pulled out like a rabbit and just left there you know and me being young i'm thinking man i should go help that guy but then when i try to go hop on my home he's gonna leave that [ __ ] there and kick him in the face again you know and make me kick him in the face again you know on my first mission i got took by my family member you know and i didn't want to go i was [ __ ] scared i was only like 13 14 years old 15. i was 15. and they were taking me to go handle business and i'm not going to sit and say i wasn't scared i was scared as [ __ ] but after i handled my business then it became like a routine to me i wanted to find the individuals that were putting in work and every hood i wanted to find that individual and i wanted to [ __ ] him off and to tell you the truth a lot of times i did find the individual and i did get with the program and i see him nowadays and those things are of the past but the animosity is still there you know what i mean and when you want to be that [ __ ] remember your reputation will exceed you right now i'm dealing with something that ain't even none of my business i wasn't even there but they put me as the culprit and it's [ __ ] up because who am i to go tell what really took place that's none of my business remember i wasn't there but if you want to be that gangster and you think you're that gangster go ahead more power to you but you want to be the best gangster you can be don't half step nothing because everything follows you everything follows you i was at a party one time i don't even know this [ __ ] dude and he came up and sucked me in my mouth busting my mouth and i don't even know this guy i've never seen him i don't know who he was afterwards i found out that i had stabbed his brother like six months previous his brother i don't know this guy he bust me in my outer front everybody sat me on my ass i'm getting up wiping my mouth i don't even know this guy i'm trying to ask him who in the [ __ ] are you he's just cussing at the top of his [ __ ] at the top of his breath just cussing at me i'm like i don't even know this dude but that's a consequence that you suffer you want me from a gang you have to remember every [ __ ] thing your homies get into you're going to be held accountable especially if you're one of the homies that is always there because you've got homies that are always there like i wanted to be always there you know me and always a woman wants to be next to you there's no room for women in a gang life that's how i feel before i used to have my homegirls and feel cool about them but now i feel that there's no room for women because when you go to jail there's no women there there's only men if you're a woman in jail you know what you are you know so there's no room for any women if i get on the phone and i'm calling you get a hold of somebody and a woman answers i don't want to speak to a woman i want to speak to a man because he could put himself in here she'll never come in here she can get dealt with out there but in here in jail when you're in jail you have nowhere to run to know where to hide you have to deal with everything face value you're not going to be able to go the next door and think you're all good shit's going to follow you everywhere you go you know because you know it used to be where you used to write on the wall and you put your name and then your neighborhood now it's flipped backwards you put your neighborhood then your name wait a minute it's supposed to be you representing your hood not your hood representing you but everything's [ __ ] backwards now a lot of stuff is similar in the same but a lot of things nowadays are changed you know there's no camaraderie anymore i'll be the first to let it be known that the camaraderie is not there anymore before [ __ ] would go out of his way to bring your old lady to visit now if you ain't got no gas and you ain't got no money your lady ain't coming up this guy's not gonna just volunteer to have his old lady pick your old lady up from 10 miles away and then bring her over to visit you it's not going to happen so you youngsters that are running around out there right now believe me take it from someone who knows when you go to jail you got to remember are you going to be a south sider or a rag rider that's what they say if you're a south sider you're going to put in work but remember 80 of the work you put in is how you represent yourself how you stay clean how you follow rules how you talk to people respect people the other ten percent is just putting in work people think it's the other way around no eighty percent of it is representing the other ten percent is putting in work it's not ten percent of representing yourself and eighty percent of putting work it doesn't work like that because remember you're in a jail you're in a cell so you can only get to people at a certain time you know i shared a lot of things up here and i share with you guys because i don't want to glorify anything i did but this has been my lifestyle and i've shown i've said it before that some of us have a choice some of us don't so i was braided from a young age to be somebody that maybe in reality i didn't want to be but i became that person from a young young age where before i used to hurt a [ __ ] i could be talking to you we could be talking i see somebody i go handle him smash his ass he's bleeding and everything come right back to you and just be able to talk to you again like nothing ever happened you know what i mean and people used to ask me how in the [ __ ] do you do that how do you turn it on like a light switch and then just turn it off i don't know it was just inside me where i could just handle something come right back and be the same person you know that's a bad bad person because i had no conscience of what i did and i heard a guy tell me before i have no conscience me i had a conscience but i used to just tuck it way back where i say well i just did that because it was the right thing to do and you know they'll get even and i'll get even again we'll just go back and forth like a tennis game you know and you know it's it's it's you're so caught up in the moment that when i went to prison the first time i'm gonna be honest they offered me three years to go to prison i end up getting 15. but they offered me three the reason i didn't take the three because i thought i could beat this i didn't beat it i lost they offered me three years i would have been out in a year and a half instead i went they gave me 15 and i did seven of that but i was offered three why because my pride me being that [ __ ] that i thought i was oh [ __ ] it i'm taking it all the way the box and i lost went to prison for seven years and the first seven oh man it was it was dynamite i had fun i wrote i rode around in the yard with the homies we smoked bug drank had fun [ __ ] pudding work went to the hole got out but now it's not the same you're not gonna go to the yard and smoke weed and put in work nah because all the homies you know are either dead doing life in the shoe or on the other side or they say the grass is greener i don't know i haven't i haven't been outside i never choose to go on that side and i don't knock nobody for going to that site people have their own reasons but me myself i'm a strong believer in when you were on the streets and you were putting in work and they stabbed you or they shot you you went home the hospital home and you healed up then you went back out there and began banged again what's the difference of going to jail and in jail you get poked why would you archwage your door shut why lock it up go yourself heal up let yourself fill up come back and handle your business if you were doing it like a gangster why not do it in prison the same way you're just in a different environment but if you're a real [ __ ] and you can call yourself a solid south sider then you should be able to adapt to anything that you find yourself in if you find you could put me on a street corner on any [ __ ] street corner give me a sack and i'll be able to deal drugs you can set me on the street corner get me five women i'll pimp them all okay you can do that you can put me anywhere and i'll be able to become a product of my environment because i'll watch i'll study and i'll just become a part of that where yeah i might stick out like a sore thumb but in reality i became a part of that environment i don't feel that i was ever institutionalized no i feel that i just came accustomed to doing the same [ __ ] thing that over and over again and they'll tell me that i'm crazy that i'm crazy to come out here and i got busted for dealing drugs i go to jail come back out i'ma deal drugs again and expect a different outcome how is that i'm gonna get the same outcome i'm gonna get caught again and i'm gonna go to jail again but in my mind i'm thinking nah i could do it this way maybe i'll just deal with people over 30 a [ __ ] over 30 is gonna tell on you it doesn't matter if he gets caught with dope i mean i got caught [ __ ] 100 feet outside this door and i was in here talking walked out the door did something and got caught and went to jail that quick you know it can happen anywhere because of the fact that you always have to remember you have good [ __ ] and you have bad [ __ ] and they run hand in hand you know what i mean you gotta figure out who you're gonna [ __ ] with who you're gonna take care of business with the best advice i ever got was if you do it do it yourself because only you know how you want it done but if i send my homie and he doesn't do it right i'm going to [ __ ] him off because i should have went and did it myself but i sent him and expected him to do the same thing that i would do in my shoes that's impossible he doesn't think like me he's not going to think and do the same things i would do in this situation but we tend to think that i see a lot of older dudes on their homies for not doing what they told them you should have [ __ ] did it yourself you know what i mean you sent a [ __ ] to do what you would do in a situation how the [ __ ] does he know what you were gonna do you got your own mind they got their own mind you know what i mean that's why i look around and i see all these youngsters running around and oh my homie told me to come over here and do this and i'm looking at him and telling man your homie saying you do do the wrong [ __ ] thing you know what i mean why didn't he come and i asked him why didn't your homie come why did he send you oh because he wants to take the credit for all the work you're putting in but he's gonna make the call he's gonna be like hey man i got that done he didn't do [ __ ] he just told you to go do it you handled it and he's getting all the credit you know he's a vulture you gotta remember you have those [ __ ] everywhere you go you have them in jail you have them out here on the streets you know they want to tell you do this do that and then they take all the credit and they're the ones shining when in all reality you were the one that put in all the work he was the [ __ ] who just verbally gave you the command you know so you have to remember if you want to be your own man and you want to be that gangster that everybody looks up to well then you have to be your own man you have to handle your own business i've never asked anybody to go do something that i wouldn't do myself when i was in prison and i shared before when i used to you know run away a tear or yard and all that before i told anybody to do anything i did it myself right when i got there i was the first [ __ ] to handle business so that when i would ask somebody else to do it and they would run to their homies and say why don't he go with us his homies would tell him he will go with us he already handled his business he's not telling you to do something he wouldn't do that's the best advice i got man if you're gonna do it do it yourself and buy yourself you know what i mean i hear [ __ ] every day tell me i don't need a gang i'm my own man i can't knock him and tell him he's wrong because i was never my own man today a little bit on my own man but i still got my hood i still gotta represent i still gotta suffer the the repercussions of whatever my hood does if they put a light on all of us i get the light too i'm no different than anybody else even though i put in work and lost all of my life when i was a young man all the people i stabbed all the mothers i heard all the people i heard along the way my family i can't take none of that back and i can't make it all better all i got to do now is make sure everything i do accordingly now that it's the right thing i'm not saying that i don't get high and i don't go out there and party and i'll sell drugs i'll be a [ __ ] liar if i told you that you know i mean but today i think in a different fashion you know what i mean i don't think it's sending my homework i don't go get my homies to handle business i don't really get on the phone and call my homies to come 20 down to come and handle my business [ __ ] no i'm my own man if i [ __ ] did something then i gotta suffer the consequence what it comes with you know i mean i share that with everybody i'm a strong believer and you get the [ __ ] consequence you get is how you carry yourself if you've been around and you know better then you should get off you should get [ __ ] off because you know better but if you're a beginner and you're a new guy to the scene then they should just talk to you or make you do something they shouldn't [ __ ] [ __ ] you off you don't know no better when i was younger man i used to roll around pull my gun out everywhere until my homies got a hold of me and [ __ ] slapped me up and [ __ ] made me put my gun away and told me what the [ __ ] are you doing why are you pulling that thing out why you keep pulling it out and i thought i pulled it out to look cool now the only time you pull it out is to use it you don't just pull it out to show it you don't mean and i had to learn that i had to learn that very very [ __ ] up they spoke to me in a way where i didn't allow anybody to speak to me in that way but yet because i was in the wrong and i was doing something that i shouldn't have been doing when on all reality i thought it was the right thing i thought roll by my homies in time i got this and show them it they [ __ ] blew it by the time i got back they chewed my ass out because i shouldn't have pulled nothing out so i give that advice that you know there's things you're gonna do in life that are gonna affect other people not just yourself i've affected me in so bad of a way that i got my kids are grown adults and they're already adults they don't need me anymore now i didn't need them in the beginning now i need them no they don't need me you know and it's a [ __ ] up situation but i share with you mark you know what i mean i'll share some more do you want mark all right all right you

Channel: Soft White Underbelly

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Id: gNT3pcZN0XY

Length: 53min 31sec (3211 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 19 2021