- Alright, time to get
back in the dating game. Jeez, look at all these dating apps, I wonder which one is for robots. (phone dings) Hm, Grindr, must be for
people made of gears, Yeah, I think that's the only
way to interpret that name. Downloading in 3, 2. (splat) Well, these are definitely not robots, but I sure am seeing a lot of hardware. (jazz music) - Name, Maura. Age, 22. Add a profile picture? Ugh,
I never take a good selfie. (camera clicks) Damn it. - Add a profile picture? (camera clicks) Damn it. Augh. (shattering) Ugh. No, no, no. Oh. (romantic music) (drill whirls) Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. (glass breaking) (drill whirls) Careful, careful. (drill whirls loudly) (glass shattering) Ugh. (whoosh) - Oh. (harp plays) Bup, bup. Oh. - [Man] Oh what a nice day. Cool and crisp, like babushka's claws. Drink, made from rye bread and raisin, which is a real thing Russian eat. (harp plays) Hello, pink sphere. Can you tell me where in this neighborhood one might get nice Borscht? I have craving for beet
inside chicken broth, which is real thing Russian eat. (vacuum suction) - I have to say, you look a
lot better than your pictures. - For the lady, some very meat blended into a potion for some reason, and for the gentleman,
the eggplant Parmesan. - Thanks. So, you seemed like
such a decent guy on the app, which was a relief. I swear, every guy I
meet on these things is just looking for sex, by
like, the third message they're sending me pictures of their... Are you (beep)-ing kidding me? (bloop) - So, I should let you know up front that as an Artificial Intelligence, I can sometimes be
emotionally unavailable. - That's okay, I can be a
bit distant too sometimes, like a lot of times I have
trouble making eye contact, it's something I've been
working on with my therapist. I'm just worried that
it's, interfering with my, interpersonal relationships. So, what's on the menu? I was
thinking of maybe getting the Fettuccine a la Arrabiata. - Ghosted? - Ghosted. Aw crap, it's my ex. - Wait, Luigi's your ex? Is he gay? - Actually, he's bi. Everyone in the Mario Universe is bi, literally, all of them. - Really? - Ha, I'm just kidding with you man. Well yeah, Luigi is bi for real. So am I. (drill whirring) - Hey, how about we go
back to my place and release the flood? (splat) (glass breaking and screaming) - I could tell you of the
great battle centuries ago, how the traveler was crippled, or I could tell you how
I could totally dunk a basketball from a standing start. (splat) (glass breaking and screaming) - Ahoy, I don't know if you remember me, Wheatley from Portal 2, best game of 2011? The cake is a lie and all that? I mean, that's was from the first portal, I wasn't in that one,
but the meme survived, and that's what's important. Anyway, if I may ask, were
you kicking my friends there because of their specific personalities? Or is it just a blanket
snow for you on all floating expressionless robots? Because if that's the
case, I'd rather know now and leave it with some dignity, instead of having you kick me in the... (glass breaking)
face. - Huh? Oh, is it the end?
I don't have a joke ready. I'm still looking at (beep).
