If DC Had Tinder

oi being trapped in a toxic romance with a psychopathic clown cancer make your rusty well sure love ain't gonna find itself warning I like to play rough I'll try not to break you but no promises winky face can you get this Kitty to purr I'm allergic to dander solomon grundy born on a monday thirsty on a thursday friday would you like to be my Alice we can play dress-up and have a tea party I have a feeling I'm a little too old for him that's going fellow inmates just another really bad dude looking to kick it low-key style maybe we can discuss your plans for a potential jailbreak or future crime sprees hit me up you'll be singing like a canary after I slip you in a flipper yeah yikes subtlety maybe try it perhaps you would like to join me for a refreshing cup of frozen yogurt hmm I do enjoy the use of a good spoon allow me to break the ice I like a fella who makes the first move you want to play play time leaves me cold I am looking for the long-term serious relationship by a girl a snow cone first why don't ya we can start slow like the movements of a mighty glacier all this chill talk is shivering me timbers what do you say we break out of this place and hit the beach you fell me I would kill to feel the warmth of the sun's kiss or the toasty embrace of a perfect hot dog on a sweet summer day love it Nora always loved hot dogs no way that's it who's Nora my darling wife my everything oh boy another married couple looking to add some sugar to their spice rack huh there's a different app for that buddy boy no you don't understand my wife is dead well sort of so what up I keep her body frozen in suspended animation you're a frizzy little freakazoid ah-choo mr. lucky for you I've got a soft spot for the unhinged so what do you want me to do put on your wife's dress and call you sweetie yes that and after we can test my procedure to switch her mind into your living party whoa pally you are one sick sandwich here's a nice pint for you how about a taste of the cold shoulder no hot is ice cold Oh care to tend my garden Oh what do you know looks like today's the day I finally go green well brucey boy that whole marriage thing didn't work out but now Batman's back on the market yeah I'm into black leather fishnets and I'm a screamer what more could you want whoa that nipples are getting a little hard what star city's a bit too long of a commute like the expression says if you can't be with the Steve Trevor you love love a random person on the internet like you Ste Trevor Jesus Diane it's been a century move on already my cousin might be faster than a speeding bullet but I prefer to take my time as much as I'd like to hold that over Clark's head Pass while my immortal soul is eternally bound to another I'm still DTF in this lifetime nope there's already another dude in the profile pic I'm out I can pull a rabbit out of hats wonder what you'll pull out of me whoa no first it's all sunshine and sleight of hand jobs with the next thing you know she's doing the infinite scarf gag on your keister not doing that again just got out of a rough long-term relationship think I'll try batting for the other team for a little while drat he's my greatest nemesis a murderous and artistic psychopath of the highest order but he did use the word bat so swipe all right Lois you're a Pulitzer Prize winning reporter for the planet you've got a lot to offer someone time to get out there and get some one date with me and you'll be more than happy to kneel before Zod I'd rather spend eternity in the Phantom Zone I'm bald rich and I've got the hardest assets this side of Coast City money can't buy you love Lex just a simple farm boy looking to connect in the big city I would love to take you out for a coffee and a sandwich sometime Oh Smallville if you were any cheesier they'd have to fry you up and serve you at a County Fair you've seen my pics on the front page how about I show you the full spread Jesus Jimmy I'm old enough to be your the older sister great Caesar's ghost this newfangled techno magic as how the kids are getting into these days go home to your wife Perry I like to play oh that's just no how did he even know just a Superman trying to make the world a super place interests include truth justice long walks in the pier and the American Way mama like this late fancy meeting you here care to go out sometime I can take us anywhere like literally anywhere I get super affordable airfare very tempting Superman I haven't been on a date in ages oh really did you go on a date with that guy you write with Clive or Kirk or something that starts with a CUH sound Clark Kent oh god no I would never go on a date with Clark oh that's odd because I was flying above the city this one time and totally accidentally saw you two sharing a funnel cake looks like maybe it was a date no heavens no that was not a date maybe he thought it was a date oh god I hope not Clark's nice and all but he's got about as much charm and sex appeal as a wet blanket really seems like a swell guy to me sure maybe in like a friend slash designated driver from a really cool party that he wasn't invited to sort of way but come on he's a bumbling awkward mama's boy I'd never go out with someone like him oh yeah I guess he does sound like a pretty pathetic loser Oh would you look at that the Justice League is calling I better go help and leave metropolis for a while but [Music] hello citizens thank you for watching if you want to see another if pop culture head video click the box in the left or to see another super neat video click the Box on the right anywho I'm up here and the fortress of solitude until my feelings get repaired kinda lonely and a board up here should want an Esquire magazine or something yeah oops out

Channel: The Warp Zone

Views: 2,922,114

Rating: 4.8428092 out of 5

Keywords: dc, dc comics, tinder, if pop culture had, if dc had tinder, batman, superman, parody, comedy, animated, warpzone, social media, the warp zone, warp zone, funny

Id: NNcokHEikFI

Length: 7min 16sec (436 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 19 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/Two_Faced_Harvey]

Ah these

[u/OwnTheKnight]

Nightwing would be a cheat code