Hey!! Vsauce! Nest head here! back with another episode of 'Jacksepticeye's Funniest Home Videos'! This time, my little elves have been all over the world Before, they went all over the internet to try and find the funniest home videos that we could possibly laugh to, but this time they went all the way to Japan! That's right! Konnichi wa! (that's "hello" in Japanese) *laugh* *chuckling* Anyway, today we're gonna be looking at WEIRD Japanese commercials, because, let's face it, Japanese commercials are... the best commercials that the world has to offer all the time! They're amazing! I've s- I've- well, I have some compilations here that I am gonna look through that I think are gonna be good. Ahmm... This was suggested by somebody to try and react to some of these because... they get a little crazy, but I've probably seen some of them, just not all of them, but I hope they make us laugh. Okay. Weird, funny and cool Japanese commercials *commercial's background music*
(the goalkeeper could not defend the goal, so the dog "Punch" will try to cheer her up) Jingle: "Consomme! Consomme! New consomme punch!" (it's a potato chip flavor) Jingle: "It's not a fist punch - consomme punch" (the chips are consomme soup flavored, which carry a bit more bite ("punch") than the lightly salted chips) Jack: Wh-what? Wha-?
Jingle: "You'll feel its tastiness - consomme punch" Jingle: "Consomme! Consomme! New consomme punch!" Jack: What're- What are you teaching the kids?? Jingle: "Consomme, consomme, consomme punch!" Jingle:"Cheer up with a punch - consomme punch!" Jack: Okay (x4) You know what? I thought I was ready, I thought: 'Oh, they're gonna be weird but...' '...nothing can be that weird, it's not gonna be that crazy that's gonna make me speechless.' First video... *chuckles* Hoooly crap! Okay, I need to reconvene in my head. I need to back off, jack off and regroup, and come back to this... like, with a better mentality, 'cause I'm not ready. Okay, in through the nose... *INTENSE INHALE* ...out through the mouth *excelent exhale* Okay, I'm ready. Okay, lay it on me, buttercup. Operator: "We're now connected live" Jack: "OH YESS!" (the dog is "Otōsan", the father in the "Shirato Family" ("White Family") commercial series - suspension of disbelief is required from now on) Kōjirō (son): "So? How is it out there?" Otōsan (father): "I'm like a fish out of water" (or literally, "floating"). Masako (mom): "But you were already a fish out of water in our family" (referring to him being a dog) Jack: "Oh, I love this! I want dogs to be able to talk!"
Otōsan (father): "Huh? What was that?"
Masako (mom): "Oh, nothing" Kōjirō (son): "You're good at dog paddling!" Otōsan: "Shut up!" Masako & Kōjirō: *chuckles* Otōsan: What happened to Aya? (Aya is his daughter) Jack: *imitating Otōsan* "Aya wa dō shita?"
Masako: "Now, it looks like she's busy at work with the new Amazing Smartphone campaign" Aya (daughter): "This is the Amazing Smartphone campaign. 'AmaSma' (SugoSuma), for short"
Jack: "Wha-? " Otōsan: "Ayaaaaaa!" *yelling* Jack: *laughter*
Aya: "Be silent for a moment!" (Otōsan is interrupting her work) Otōsan: I'm sorry... Jack: "Wait, what was that for?" What was I just sold? I mean, I love it. I- I wanna buy whatever it is, just tell- I- I need to know what that was I don't know. It was just a talking dog in space, and then it was able to talk down to the lady and they were 'WHAT' *hypnotic chant-jingle* Jack: "I'm into this one. This one's incredible. 'Galbo twist' " *hypnotic chant-jingle continues* Lady: "I'll show you how crunchy Galbo Twist is" (Galbo is a line of chocolate snacks) Jack: "Yes, I agree." *hypnotic chant-jingle restarts*
Jack: *laughter* Jack:"b s?"
Announcer: "The reason why twisted Galbo is tasty - new Galbo Twist" Jack: "Garubo twisto." *chuckle* I want some Galbo twists, they look delicious. They look like umm... 'Takis fuego' fuegoooo (that's "fire" in Spanish) I want some now. God, I'm hungry. Ugh, don't record- I- I fail to realize that most Japanese commercials are all about food, and I should not record these things while I'm hungry. *sad uncomfortable groan* (CRONCH) Eugh! *sings Japanese commercial song* Lady: "Doing a news coverage of a hot spring is the best!"
Guy: "Yeah...Ah!" Jack: "STRONG ZERO!"
Lady: "Strong grapefruit!" (Strong zero is a brand of sweet alcoholic beverages) Guy: "There's no way I'll lose! I can do it too: strong..." Lady: "Wait!"
Guy: "Yes?"
Lady: "At what time do we have to take the bullet train tomorrow?" Guy: "Tomorrow? Tomorrow...Tomorrow..." Jack: "Wha- Why did it work on him and not her?"
Lady: "Strong grapefruit!" Announcer: "196 Strong Zero"
(they produce the beverage by freezing an entire fruit in liquid nitrogen at -196˚ C - locking in its flavor - and soaking it in alcohol) Jack: "Wait- what- no, hold on."
Lady: "Ah..." Jack: "Stop- wait- what- Stop!" *chuckle* I didn't even have a chance to figure out what the fuck was going on *while chuckling* Okay *while chuckling* Jesus Christ! Okay, she drank it, sprayed water all over him. That's... hot Then he drank it, nothing happened, got cockblocked, and- I- you know what? Let's move on We don't need to understand what's going on It's 'Jacksepticeye's funniest home videos', not 'Jacksepticeye's what the hell was that?' (I mean, at this point, it kinda is tho) That's a great series idea... WRITE IT DOWN! Elderly man: "Bruce, tofu is good for your body!" Young man: "It's low in calories and also low in price" (that's also what's written on the cue card) Jack: "Why is Bruce Willis in someone's-"
Bruce: "Low in price?" Bruce: "Daihatsu Mira e:S!" (it's an eco-friendly car) Elderly man: "Well remembered, Bruce!" Jack: "What?!" Young man: "It runs 30 kilometers per liter" (the cue card also says "moreover, it's cheap") Jack: "BRUCE WILLIS SPEAKS JAPANESE!" I- no, I nee- I need more of that in my life. Go back, I wanna hear Bruce Willis speak in Japanese again. Young man: "It's low in calories and also low in price" Bruce: "Low in price?" Bruce: *yelling* "Daihatsu Mira e:S!" (the "e:S" kinda sounded like "ISH") Elderly man: "Well remember-..." Jack: *yelling* "Daihatsu Mira ISH!" and he's just beating on his head. This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Elderly man: "-ed, Bruce!" Young man: "It runs 30 kilometers per liter" Jack: *laughter* Oh, Bruce... I hope you got paid well for that *laughter* That is so out of character for him He is normally, like, stone-faced and doesn't give a shit about anything anymore. ISHH! Jack: "YES!"
Jingle: "When it comes to (literally, "if you're speaking of") bananas, (leave it to) Dole man" (Dole is a food company) Jack: "YES! *claps* I love these ones, the banana ones".
Jingle: "This might be pushy, but I've decided that" Jingle: "I want to cheer up you and her" Jingle: "(So I make) bananas sprout" Dole (banana) man: "Ha ha ha ha!" Jingle:"I am Dole man!"
*laughter* *Banana is Dole* Jack: It's incredible! It's the world's greatest piece of art that has ever been created. There's more of them. There's more of them; we should watch another one Jack: There he is
Jingle:"Dole man is a business guy" Jack: "He's a working man, he's a people's man"
Jingle: "Office love is also waiting its turn <3" Jack: "He... is banana man"
Jingle: "Even big projects" Jingle: "Turn into something else with (his) banana power" Jack: *chuckles* Jingle: "Good job, Dole man!" (it says "conclusion (completion) of negotiations" on the back) *Everyone's banana - Dole* I love it! It's just such wholesome content! Thank you, banana man! You saved our business! Man: "Oh, I took it off!" Man: "Eh?"
Cheerleaders: "S! U! Ultra multi-purpose!" (it's a superglue) Jack: "What am i buying?"
Man: "What? Don't do it!" Jack: "S! U!"
Cheerleaders: "S! U! Ultra multi-purpose!" Man: "Ahhhhhh!"
Jack: "Toothpaste!" Jack: "Are we buying toothpaste? We are!"
Man: "Is this it?"
Announcer: "Glue is..."
Cheerleaders: "...Bond! Ultra multi-purpose SU!" Jack: I still don't know: is that superglue or
toothpaste? That's a very big misunderstanding because if I brush my teeth with superglue then...well actually I'll shut up like everybody wants me to, so that would probably be good. Maybe I should buy some of that and brush it on my teeth *through teeth* and then I'll talk like this forever *chuckles* I already love this *chuckling* Do you ever find yourself half stuck in a wall trying to get to Hogwarts but the train leaves before you can get through the wall? Me too. Oh, what are you selling? Please be
selling... Is this, like, an ad for condoms?
*Escape enthusiasts, unite* Announcer: "The odds of escaping successfully are 1 in a hundred thousand" Announcer: "Despair fortress"
*escape labyrinth attraction* (it's a real escape game attraction from the Fuji-Q Highland amusement park) Jack: What? Was that for, like, an escape room or
prison or something? I'd still like to think it's for condoms; it's like 'it almost got through, but it didn't, you're not pregnant' 'calm down, okay, I know' 'Y- You are not the father... mother... person...' Jack: "GameBoy!" Lady: "Hey, hey, don't you want a match against my Pocket Monsters?" (this is the first Japanese Pokémon commercial, for Pokémon Red and Green) Jack: "Pokémon monster?"
Elderly men: "Who are you?" Jack: "Pocket monster?"
Lady: *flamboyantly* "Ooooh!" *Psyduck cry* Announcer: "There are 150 kinds of monsters in total" Jack: "Wh- What?"
Announcer: "You can trade monsters with each other with the Game Link Cable" Announcer: "If you play it on the Super Game Boy, (you'll see) beautiful colors" Jack: Is this how they sold Pokémon back in the day? This is terrible! Announcer: "It's the role-playing (game) that will make you more friends" (it says "Pokémon friends" in the middle) Announcer: "Pocket monsters" Jack: That was not good! *laughs* She said something about pokémon and then they were like, 'No, get out of here you fuckin' weirdo' And then she was like, 'ooooh!' I do not want to play pokémon more after seeing that commercial That was a bad commercial Made me laugh though, so I guess it works Announcer: "Graphite (love) confession" (it says "like/love" on the paper sheet) Girl: "I'm sorry" Announcer: "Graphite goodbye" Announcer: "Graphite rain of sadness" Announcer: "Graphite thermometer"
Guy: *sneezes* (he caught a cold from being in the "rain") Announcer: "Graphite glasses"
Girl: "Are you all right?" Jack: *laughing*
Announcer: "Graphite falling in love/ Graphite (love) confession number 2" Jack: "Those fucking glasses!"
Announcer: "Graphite 'hitting the target' " Announcer: "Graphite duet" Jack: "Everything's made out of pencil lead!"
Announcer: "Graphite proposal" Announcer: "Graphite paternal opposition" Jack: "or... 'graphito' "
Announcer: "Graphite 'this is insignificant, but...' " (it's a default polite phrase when giving a present to someone) Announcer: "Graphite 'okay' " (giving them his blessing) Announcer: "Graphite cake cutting ceremony" Jack: "Are they really using graphite to cut their cake?" Announcer: "By the way, graphite is mechanical pencil lead" (punchline: they've been used graphite for everything, except for its intended use as mechanical pencil lead). Jack: What the fuck? That is the best way I've ever seen someone try to sell me graphite. Actually, it's the only way anyone has ever tried to sell me graphite. I want a big stockpile of graphite from now on. If you meet me at a convention, if you meet me on tour, if you meet me anywhere, just give me graphite. Actually, no, don't because people will take that seriously, people...people have sent me weirder things uhh, by me saying a joke so
don't send me that shit! I just think that that's hilarious. Wait, why did he have graphite under his arm? Announcer: "Graphite cheerleader"
Jack: "Their pom-poms are just pieces of pencil lead!" Announcer: "Graphite falling in love" Jack: "I'm surprised his hair isn't pencil lead"
Announcer: "Graphite (love) confession" (it says "like/love" on the paper sheet) Girl: "I'm sorry" Announcer: "Graphite goodbye" Announcer: "Graphite rain of sadness" Jack: "I don't know what that meant" Jack: "What was written on that? She just said 'gomen nasai' and then ran away, so obviously" Jack: "she didn't take the proposal." Announcer: "Graphite thermometer"
Guy: *sneezes* Girl: "Are you all-" Jack: Why? Why is it in his arm? Is he using it? Is he trying to break it? *laughs* The fucking glasses! Oh, Japan, you're the best Announcer: "Graphite proposal" Announcer: "Graphite paternal opposition"
Jack: Ahhh, 'graphito proposal'. So he tried to get...he tried to ask the other girl out with graphite and she said 'no', broke his
little pencil heart; his heart's in the shape of graphite...and then he moved on, and then he found someone with graphite glasses and asked her out, and they lived 'graphite' ever after Announcer: "By the way, graphite is mechanical pencil lead" (punchline: they've been used graphite for everything, except for its intended use as mechanical pencil lead). Jack: I wanna know what that part means Announcer: "By the way, graphite is mechanical pencil lead" (punchline: they've been used graphite for everything, except for its intended use as mechanical pencil lead). Jack: 'cuz everything was great, everything was wonderful, and then they started taking graphite, and then she said something about it being like 'by the way, graphite's shit' 'and it won't actually do any of the
things you just said' and then they were like 'NANI?!' *Turning tastiness into smiles - Kirin*
(the song "Hurly Burly" starts playing)
Lyrics: "Hurly Burly Party" Jack: "Kirin! Kirin Ichiban!"
Lyrics: "Mysterious taste" Jack: "My favorite Japanese beer..."
Lyrics: "Hurly Burly Party" Jack: "...right after Asahi"
Lyrics: "Bursting feeling" Lyrics: "Hurly Burly Party / Juicy juicy sweety" Announcer: "The world bursts dazzlingly"
(it says "During pregnancy - Let's stop drinking during lactation" on the bottom left) Jack: "This is- this is bad."
Announcer: "Kirin freezing (alcohol)" ("Kirin freezing" - Hyouketsu - is vodka diluted with fruit flavored carbonated water) Jack: That was terrible; that's not a weird Japanese commercial It's not cool, funny or weird. It's just...regular. That's what you'd see here. NEXT COMMERCIAL! Jingle: "Thick noodles revolution"
(that's an ad for thick noodles); Jingle: "Noodles (x3) Thick noodles...Magnificent!"
Jack: I have...the weirdest boner right now Shocker Combatmen: "EEE!"
Jack: I have...the weirdest boner right now Jingle: "It's so thick"
Shocker Combatmen: "EEE!" Jingle: "It's so tasty"
Shocker Combatmen: "EEE!" Jingle: "It's a historical moment"
Jack: "Okay, stop yelling at me" Lady: "EEE" Jingle: "Try eating it"
Jack: *screech* "EEE"
Shocker Combatmen: "EEE" Jingle: "Try buying it"
Jack: *screech* "EEE!" Announcer: "You'll be 'shocked' by its tastiness! New Futomen Dōdō (magnificent thick noodles)"
*You'll be 'shocked' by its thickness! You'll be 'shocked' by its tastiness!* Jack: "This is the evolution of the 'E' meme"
Jingle: "Thick noodles, thick noodles, magnificent"
*You'll be 'shocked' by its thickness! You'll be 'shocked' by its tastiness!* Jack: *screech* EEE I don't know what's going on, but I like this one. This one has a horse in a subway and a man who looks out of time... This is a recipe for greatness Samurai: "On the smartphone! You can watch movies on the smartphone!" Jack: He's not saying anything. None of them are saying anything Jack: *laughter*
*you can watch movies on the smartphone* Jack: That's my move. That's how- that's how I get the ladies. You know, walking down a subway I'm like, 'Do you like my horse? Look at my muscle! Look at it! Look, watch!' and then they're like 'AAAH!! It's too much!!!!' Announcer: "docomo - d market - video store" (docomo is a mobile phone operator company)
Jack: "It's so creepy!" Jack: "No one else is stopping him either!" Jack: "He's just 'Check out my bicep. Che- you can watch ET on my bicep. Watch it!' " Announcer: "Chew (x2)" (it's an ad for the Japanese gummy "Sours" ("sawazu"); they typically feature "monster turtles" (kaijin kame) because both the word for "turtle" and the order "chew" are pronounced as "kame" in Japanese) Jack: *low sound* "What the fuuck?"
Announcer: "Chew (x4), Sours, Chew (x2)" Announcer: "Chew (x4), Sours"
*Chewing gummies* Announcer: "Chew (x4), Sours"
*sour gummies - SOURS* Jack: "What the fuck was that?" Jack: "I need to go home after that one" Jack: "That was uncomfortable" Jack: *in Japanese* "Chew, chew, chew, chew, Sours" Jack: "Ooh, I'm so uncomfortable. I'm gonna see that in my nightmares" Lady: "Shit!" Lady: "I'm low on charcoal!" (it's an ad for deodorizing activated charcoal ("sumi")) Jack: "foohh what?"
Lady: *panting* "Where are you?!" Charcoal: "I'm here!" Jack: "What the fuck is happening?"
Charcoal: "If you're low on charcoal..."
Lady: "...Then replace it!" Announcer: "Deodorizing charcoal"
*for fridge use - high-grade charcoal (produced from ubame oak) power*
*antibacterial - deodorizing charcoal * Jack: "What was that?! I thought it was a commercial for fridges!" Jack: "Why did you need to bring the fridge with you?" Lady: "Shit! I'm low on charcoal!" Jack: "Oh no, I'm low on graphite *chuckle* I have to go into the forest" Lady: *panting* "Where are you?!" Jack: "Don't you hate it when you run out of graphite in your fridge, and you got to run into the forest" Jack: "with it on your back, like Indiana Jones or Mr. Fredricksen from UP." Jack: "Yeah, that's a tough life" Charcoal: "I'm here!"
Jack: "but then you reach the Forbidden
Forest" Charcoal: "If you're-"
Jack: "and you see graphite man in his" Jack: "little hut that he's built out of clay" Charcoal: "low on charcoal..."
Lady: "...Then replace it!" Jack: "so you get it from the source" Announcer: "Deodorizing charcoal"
*for fridge use - high-grade charcoal (produced from ubame oak) power*
*antibacterial - deodorizing charcoal * Jack: "WHAT IS THIS?!" Jack: "What was that? Is that like soy sauce or something?" Jack: *Laughing uncontrollably*
Section chief: *martial arts shout* "Section chief's plan!"
*section chief's plan* Jack: *Laughing uncontrollably* Jack: "Oh, fuck" Jack: "Why was it so ridiculously stupid? The first two seconds of this is the" Jack: "greatest thing I've ever seen! Holy shit!" Section chief: *martial arts shout* "Section chief's plan!"
*section chief's plan* Director: *martial arts shout* "Director's plan!"
*director's plan* *Business is a battle* *takes out the breath-freshening gum "acuo"* *after chewing, wrap it and throw it into the wastebasket* Jack: "What the fuck is happening?" Announcer: "Let's change starting from the breath - LOTTE" Man: *martial arts shout* "ACUO!!!" Jack: "ACUO!!!" Jack: "What were you selling? Is that like gum?" Jack: "I just love," Jack: "BANG! BACKFLIP! HOOWOOYOYAHHHH" Jack: "I need to see it again" Section chief: *martial arts shout* "Section chief's plan!"
*section chief's plan* Director: *martial arts shout* "Director's plan!"
*director's plan* *Business is a battle* Jack: "Are they fighting over which gum is better?" *after chewing, wrap it and throw it into the wastebasket* Man: *martial arts shout* "ACUO!!!" Announcer: "Let's change starting from the breath - LOTTE" Jack: "And then he comes out with his own and they're like 'ohh okay' " Jack: "Oh my God..." Jack: "That really fuckin' got me" Announcer: "Kojagari (x5) Kojagariko" Announcer: "Jagariko...(x3) Jagari..." Announcer: "Kojagari (x3) Koja" Jack: "I don't like this... I don't like this at all"
Announcer: "Kojagari (x3) Jagariko (x3) Ja-" Announcer: "Kojagari ko- Jagariko ja- Ja-ko-" Jack: *mouths* "Why?"
Announcer: "Jagariko (x3) Ja-" Announcer: "Ja- (x5) Jagariko!"
(that's an ad for Calbee's "jagariko", a brand of Japanese snacks that are essentially potato chips shaped as thin sticks that are sold in a cup-like package). Jack: "I did not like that" Jack: "Someone, somewhere..." Jack: "...is aroused by what just happened. And that makes me more uncomfortable than anything that actually happened in the video" Jack: "Oh, wait, it was me!" Jingle: "Chocolate... Chocolate is me-i-ji" Jack: "Is that Majin Buu? Oh God no!" Jingle: "Chocolate...Chocolate..." Jack: "Meiji...Chocolate-o"
Jingle: "Chocolate is me-i-ji" Jack: "Okay! I- That-" Jack: "I feel like I just witnessed a crime, okay?" Jack: "Some dude went into the forest, found mushroom baby," Jack: "gave him some chocolate, and then the baby started patting him" Jack: "I feel like a police officer is on his way to my house right now" Jingle: "Chocolate... Chocolate is me-i-ji" Jingle: "Chocolate...Chocolate..." Jack: "Okay so he pointed to him that-"
Jingle: "Chocolate is-" Jack: "I HAVE SEVERAL QUESTIONS" Jack: "Why were you on a different planet?" Jack: "Why did you bring chocolate to the kid?" Jack: "Why did you give the kid the chocolate?" Jack: "Why did the alien baby pat you on the hmm hmm" Jack: "and then why did you point to the Earth to say 'there's more chocolate down there' " Jack: "The baby took off and left with fart magic" Jack: "and then you're left on a foreign planet with... chocolate" Jack: "also, you lied to the kid. You told him that you didn't have any more..." Jack: "...you said that you didn't have anymore chocolate!" Jingle: "Chocolate.. Chocolate is-" Jack: "Ahh, if only the kid had patted my ass. He would have found the chocolate" Jack: "Can I call Chris Hansen on this guy?" (the host of "To Catch A Predator", a hidden-camera reality TV show dedicated to publicly exposing online sexual predators by luring them with underage impersonators) Jack: "Oh.. oh God! oh Jesus! "
Jingle: "Everywhere, everyday, happy happy 'Snappy' Pudding" Jack: "That went- OH MY GOD!"
Jingle: "Everywhere, everyday, happy 'Snappy' Pudding"
Man: "President? President!" Announcer: "The special 'Snappy' Pudding 40th anniversary edition is out!" Announcer: "Glico" (it's a Japanese food company) Jack: "That escalated so fast!" Jack: "I didn't even have time to catch my breath- I thought that was gonna be a commercial for Fortnite dance emotes" (this commercial was entitled "Snappy gymnastics"/"Pucchin taisō") Jack: "then.. BAM!!!" Jingle: "Everywhere, everyday, happy happy 'Snappy' Pudding" Man: "President? President!"
Jingle: "Everywhere, everyday, happy-" Jack: "This is your brain on drugs" Jack: "It's like Pale Man from Pan's Labyrinth" (now imagine her holding a pudding on each hand) Jack: "Ooh okay, I need a cup of tea or something...I need a break" Jack: "I need to get away from my computer for, like, at least seventy-two hours" Jack: "I have no idea what just happened" Jack: "This was- I thought that this was going to be funnier than it was" Jack: "I thought that i was gonna laugh at a bunch of these" Jack: "A lot of this video was me going 'What The Fuck' " Jack: "Anyway! if nothing else, I hope that you learned something here today" Jack: "I hope you learned to get your hair cut in time, or else you're gonna end up with this" Jack: "but for now, my elves, they must leave" Jack: "They must go forward on another journey to find more of 'JackSepticEye's Funniest Home Videos' " Jack: "But until then," Jack: "Good night, everybody!!!" *Outro music* Jack: "Don't forget to graphite that like button!"
