(SLAP!!) Top of the morning to ya laddies my name is JackSepticEye And welcome to Telltale's Batman!! They announced this a little while ago that they were making their take on what they thought Batman universe would be So I don't really know a whole lot more outside of that, I saw few screenshots of it it looks really cool so I'm hoping to do I like play every Telltale game that comes out almost and with every one of them, I tend to do the first episode in the season all in one go so I'll probably do that for this. That's my plan as of right now, anyway... I don't know how well that's gonna go. If I'm gonna have issues Or if this is gonna be way to long to put into one episode But hopefully, anyway, because I like these. I like sitting down and playing for an hour or two And just absorbing the story all in one go. And it's all in your head and you're in the- you're in the atmosphere. You're in the vibe of the game and you don't leave that. So without further a-deu, let's do episode one. Episode one...yeahhh Episode one: Realm of Shadows What's episode two? Children of Arkham New World Order Guardian of Gotham Annndd City of Light Okay That makes sense. Realm of Shadows and then it ends with City of Light That's pretty cool Ahhh Crowd Play: OFF Bruce Wayne Navigates treacherous waters of Gotham politics. As a series of shocking allegations surface,while Batman confronts Gotham's most notorious crime boss. I don't know what Crowd Play is... I'm just leave that off for now Ahh the BATMAN symbol is barely visible Ahh there we go...Nice! I love Batman so much he's one of my favourite superheroes So i'm looking forward to this. Your Bat-tech color determines the look,the look of Batman's gadgets and UI's AHHHOHH Uhh I kinda like the red but the blue is like the more default Ooh purple is nice as well Imma go with blue Blue dabadi...dabadi Remember that! This game series adapts to the choices you make.
The story is tailored by how you play. Yes typical Telltale fashion..Let's do it!
*drinks water* Be the Bat! Pat Downy. Downy: *gasp* Hey what are you?!- Jack: Oh shit! Straight away, people are dying! Pat, nooo :'( Jack: No Bad guy #1: Get it open Bad guy #2: On it Bad guy #1: Hey, you think he's gonna show? Gonna bring the whole god damn place down Bad guy #2: Stay focused! We'll be out of here before anyone can stop us. Jack: Here comes the Batman!! Aw Pat Downy... He gave the best pat downs. Gordon: Aw Christ... Move in! Jack: Uh ohhh Gordon: The hell? Jack: RUNNNN Gordon: Get back! Jack: Mother of God Walkie talkie: Gordon... Still on the 52nd floor. I'm going in Gordon: Hey, wait! Wait for backup! Batman: Don't need it. Gordon: Take the stairs Jack: Oohoo Bad guy: I heard stories you know... Sent three home in an ambulance... The rest in BODY BAGS No wonder the cops want him dead You ever seen him? Yeah, Gotham zoo with all the other fly animals Jack: There he is! You guys You guys are blind as bats! "E". Ok What am I firing? Bad guy: Huh? Jack: Hahahahaha Aw dude you're gone. BOOSHK Here we go. Kick their asses! I love Batman so much! Oh... Alfred: Bruce, you can't keep doing this... Bruce: I have to. No one else will Alfred: Every drop of blood. Everything that you sacrificed the city is safe now It's made you a target... And people will keep you in the crossfires until you're shut out of the sky. Bruce: Criminals in this city they need something to fear Jack: Oooooh, that's a lot of blood Bad guy: Shit! The hell'd he go?! Whatever got in, don't let it get out. Jack: Man, if you were a terrorist or a criminal or something going up against Batman, it would be terrifying to just see your friends like VANISH and out the window and hanging upside down and all this type of shit. Jack: Ohoooo Now I get to be the horror movie monster! It's your ol' pal. Why don't you free him? SURPRISE BADADOOSH! Nice! See you later! Aw it's so cool! c: Bad guy: Back to back. Circle up! There you go! Right in the middle! It's a Bat Ball! Bat balls aren't round.... It's like fuckin' predator What's that thing in the bottom left? You could just pick it up again, you know. Alfred: I know you're trying to create a myth But be careful you don't turn into a monster. Bruce: Sometimes you need a monster Bad guy: Come at me! Come on!! Jack: I like this Batman. He's edgy WOAHHHH Did I really just deflect bullets on my arm?! Kick the shit out of him! Uh oh Oh god! There's a lot of button prompts Watcha got? Watcha got? Come on, sucka!! Nice! Nice!! NICE!!! Oh it's a full Batman meter! I don't know what that means Hopefully, it means I get to kick the shit out of people right now. Nicee! There's a lot of buttons going on! Jesus Christ!... Uh kick him Well now you just let them get in where they were going! (gg Batman) God almighty! Catwoman: Didn't your mother teach you to knock? Jack: Selina! Catwoman: Behind you, big boy Batman: Huh? Catwoman: Pay day! Jack: Goddd Whooo! Goddammit Cleverrr Police: Stay where you are! You're under arrest! Jack: Hey, I just saved everybody! Well, not really. They got away anyway, but... they got away slower! Alfred: Well if you want to be intimidating, you're succeeding... criminals are becoming afraid of you so are the police Bruce: it's a scare tactic, Al Just a performance. Catwoman:Without a scratch. Batman: So far... Jack: Sup? Batman: That doesn't belong to you... Catwoman: I was wondering if we'd cross paths... Batman: You broke the law. Here I am. Catwoman: cut the shit the LAW? Don't tell me you do all of this? Squeeze into a suit, tie on a cape Most people dressed up like that end up in Arkham. Batman: Gotham needs a hero. Someone to hunt down people like you. Catwoman: So that makes me what? A villain? Sounds fun. Gotta admit it though. You give a good chase. One day, you might actually catch me. Batman: Tonight Catwoman: Don't you know not to call on a wild animal? It's dangerous Batman: Then let's put you in a cage Jack: Oohhhh Catwoman: Bring it, bat. What you got?! What you got, cat lady?! What you got, Selina?! She got a lot apparently. Oh god. So many QTEs.. I don't know if I can do them all. Not today, cat! Aaahh! Wwwwha! That's it. Pull me fist closer to you. Oh god. Fuckin' buttons everywhere! Whoa GOT HER OW! She got me! :'( Chase her, Bats! News guy: Over here! You get this? Move us in closer! Jack: God I'm so s- So awesome! Can't catch me! Ow right in the belly. OooOOhhh Batman: It's over. Catwoman: I wouldn't be so sure. Jack: This is like Battle Sutra (?) Ooh God Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get her. Get her. Get her. GOT EM I have a full Batman Meter. Ah balls. Jim go away! Gordon: Wait, wait, wait! Do not shoot! Jack: Uh yeah don't shoot! Just watch her try to claw my eyes out! That's cool lads Don't worry bout it. Woaah I'm a much better fighter than she is Yes, yes! Steal everything! Stab her! I mean don't stab her! N-Never mind! (laughs) Nice Batman: Why go to all that trouble for this? Catwoman: Shit! Alfred: A myth can't be killed. You, however, are flesh and blood. Jack: That's the point. Gordon: God damn it! I said don't shoot him! Batman: No! Wait! Jack: Ah, I got shot in the back What a dicklord. Get her! Get her! Get her! YEAH!- Ohhhh that's bad. Oooh shit That's not how physics works. Oooohhh but that's awesome yes I did it. I pressed it! Ooh god. What happens if I just let her drop? Do I fail and she dies and we move on without her? Sup Ms.Kyle? Catwoman: Ugh, guess I was wrong about you catching me. Not sure if it was for my sake or yours... Batman: Don't struggle or you'll fall! Catwoman: Oh but that's what you crave! The struggle. I know men like you... Bye bat Jack: AAAHH She was Spiderman all along! Yeah I bleed a lot. I need to go home. Alfred: Step out of the shadows. And be Bruce Wayne tonight. Bruce: Aah that's a much harder fight. Alfred: Don't let tombstones be your family legacy Bruce: Well then... Time to save the city. Awesome! Sorry subtitles aren't on. I thought they were! I clicked them on earlier when I was messing around with the settings to make sure it recorded. Dent: Thank you. Thank you everyone. The humble district attorney like myself is not used to such a ringing endorsement. Even one who cut Gotham's crime rate in half. And for too long, this city has burned with corruption and greed under Mayor Hill's authority. But I promise you. A vote for Harvey Dent is a vote to finally put your foot down. Together, we can stamp out the fire and save our great city. Jack: I don't like him. Dent: If only Mr. Wayne, my campaign's largest backer, could've heard that applause, he would s- Well then, there he is! Fashionable and fashionably late as always Jack: Sup? Dent: Say hi, Bruce. Jack: Hello! Heh "Hi, Bruce" Bruce: "Hi Bruce" I tee him up and he knocks him down. That's how Mr.Wayne and I do business. Thank you thank you again everyone for your unwavering support. Together, we will change Gotham. Jack: I believe in Harvey Dent. I also believe in Steve. Dent: Mr. Wayne! Thank you for opening your house to us! Now I know this is the biggest mansion in Gotham But I don't think you got lost on your way here! Where were you?! Why do you prefer the brooding billionaire angle? Sooner we make nice with the donors, the sooner everyone will leave you alone. Bruce: Relax. It was important. Dent: Not more than this. I know you despise these things and truth be told, I do too. Bruce: What? A chance to show off your team and talk about yourself to a room full of money? Say it ain't so. Dent: It's called playing the game, Bruce. And tonight, and if hadn't didn't notice, I'm playing for City Hall. No one came here tonight to see me. They want to see the BRUCE WAYNE. Am I right? Heh. Bruce: And I can see them just fine from here. Dent: It shouldn't be painful. It's not a kidney stone. It's only a little face time with potential donors. Your face specifically with a mouth that's saying "support Harvey Dent" We're the grease. They're the wheels. And they're rolling in enough cash and votes to help make Gotham Jack: I'M DOING THIS FOR GOTHAM Dent: a place for families again. Bruce: I'll do anything for Gotham. It's my home. Dent: It's OUR home. This will help you too, Bruce. Once I turn this city around as mayor, you'll be a hero for funding my campaign. Now all I need is a decent slogan. Terrible at those. Jack: "Put a Dent in Crime." "Our hope is in Harvey." "A new face for Gotham." Dent: Which for the record, I have not been so Jack: "Put a Dent in crime. I like that." Bruce: Alright. Alright. Alright How about uh "Put a Dent in crime"? Dent: Look at you. That's not half bad. I'm going to use that. Bruce, I meant what I said. Together, you and me. We change Gotham. A city free from crime. Where children can play in the streets again. Bruce: That's what I want too, Harvey. But you know how rough it is out there. We have to shake things up to make that happen. Dent: Well we can start with a few hands. Hm? Come on. Jack: Nice to meet you. I want a chance to pause the game and turn on subtitles But I don't want to press escape in case I... skip stuff. Do I have a chance to like walk around on my own? Who dat? Bruce: Oz? Dent: Mr.Wayne, I'd like to introduce you to- Bruce: Bob and Regina Zillerbar. Of course I know these two. Regina: Hello Bruce. Bruce: Regina here is the chairwoman of Wayne Enterprises. And her husband- Bob: Voted for Mayor Hill last time. (ooooo) I'll admit it Mr.Wayne. I don't know Mr. Dent from a pothole on Main Street. But I trust your family. If you believe in Dent, we believe in you. After all, whoever you support is a reflection on you. Regina: And we trust someone like you to lead this city to greatness. Jack: Trust in me! Bruce: Well spoken. But we're all here tonight because we want to make a difference. And that's what it's going to take. Every single one of us. Not just me. Not just Mr. Dent, but everyone. Bob: Right, right. Of course. Regina: Old families like us should flock together, you know Like birds Bob: you're preaching, dear. Dent: No it's true. The Waynes and Zillerbars are reminders of the Golden age of Gotham. Bob: This city's luster faded years ago, Mr. Dent. Look at Gotham now. Murder in the streets. Corruption in city hall. That caped bat freak dealing out vigilante justice like it's the Wild goddamn West. Regina: Oh, Bobby. Regarding Golden Age? Seems you're getting cranky in yours There's always hope. Bob: Forgive me for being blunt, but one man. can't save this city. And it's a dangerous mentality to think so. That's how you get creeps like this Batman. Bruce: They say it all depends on the man. Sometimes you need a person who will... go off script. Bob: Such as dressing up in a bat costume? Bruce: And taking out the criminals who ruin our city. Though the cape may be a bit much. Dent: Don't worry though. I am not doing this alone. With Bruce's help, we are replacing the dangerously insecure Arkham Asylum with a state of the art mental health facility to help Gotham's most at risk individuals. It will be dedicated to Thomas and Martha Wayne. In hopes that their fate will never be repeated. Regina: After all your parents did for this city. To be killed in a botched robbery in some alleyway... It was terrible. Jack: Thanks for reminding me. Sad now :'( Bob: Something like that at such a young age, must've been crippling... Regina: If only that *sigh* deranged man have gotten the right treatment, maybe Jack: feeling depressed now thanks for you sympathy. Regina: And I'm sure you don't either. Bruce: Well, thank you. I wish my parents could be here speaking with you too. Dent: And thank you Bruce, for investing in the health of this city's future. Regina: You have our support, Mr.Dent. Go get them. Dent: We're on our way. Jack: Nice! Dent: Huh. Not saying I doubted you, but that went better than expected. Bruce: It is a night of bringing endorsements. (jack laughs) Jack: Also Oswald Cobblepot. Is that who he was looking at? *jazzy music* Dent: Oh, hello. I'm Harvey Dent, Gotham's next mayor and eager to know you ;) Vicki Vale Not interested.... And reporter of the Gotham Gazette. Dent: This is a private fundraiser, Ms.Vale. No reporters allowed (you salty) Vale: Well you don't mind if I stay and ask a few questions, do you Mr.Wayne? Dent: Well you can ask me whatever you want at the press conference tomorrow. Jack: Keep it off the record. Vale: Actually I'm here for Mr.Wayne. Wanye: Tonight is strictly off the record. We can talk, but nothing gets written down. Vale: I'm ok with that. I was just hoping to see what makes Bruce Wayne tick. Jack: Uh ticks (ha ha) Vale: This is quite the social event, Mr.Wayne. Bruce: Oh come on now. So formal. Call me Bruce. Vale: Well Jack: Call me big daddy ;) Vale: and going around pleasing everyone tonight. But... How are you doing? Jack: Oh God Vale: You should enjoy your own party. Jack: She asked me about myself. Uhhh.... Bruce: Well I'm doing better now that you're here. I'll tell you if all these stuffed shirts weren't around, I'd give you the private tour. (wink wink nudge) Vale: Mr. Wayne, you've you've got something on your collar... Um... Is that blood? Jack: UH NO. UMM I'm just... Vale: It looks like... Bruce: spilled some wine. Yeah. It'll come out. Dent: Stick to clear alcohol, Bruce. It'll never stain. Jack: THANKS HARVEY Hahahahaha AHAHAHAHA Alfred: Do excuse me Master Bruce, but uh another guest has arrived. Bruce: I'm sure they'll find the bar. Alfred: You may want to greet this one personally, sir. Vale: Carmine Falcone? Is the Dent campaign soliciting votes from Gotham's biggest crime family? Dent: Falcone has never been convicted of anything Except being a businessman who loves this city. Excuse us, Ms.Vale. Jack: Hahaha... Bye... Ha... Bruce: *scoff* And what kind of business do you think he's in? Dent: The one that controls enough votes to get me into City Hall. This is necessary evil of politics, Bruce. It's in the service of a better Gotham. For all of us. Jack: Yeahhh Dent: At least, hear him out before you kick him out. Falcone requested to speak with you directly. Bruce: Jesus Harvey. Inviting a known criminal to your fundraiser? Doesn't exactly look good for your squeaky clean image. Dent: Let me worry about that. Jack: Uh NO. Dent: Play nice. Jack: I always play nice. I'm a fuckin' lovely person. Falcone: You know, I've been on the market for a new house. Decent walk up, sky high ceilings, plenty of room for my cars... Jack: SULLY! (from Uncharted) Falcone: I think I'll take it. Jack: Is that Sully? Falcone: Though the decor offends my eyes. Oh man. All flash. No clash. Jack: THAT IS SULLY! Bruce: Let's talk privately, shall we? Falcone: I like this guy! Ready to do business before we even introduce ourselves. But we'll get to that. Carmine Falcone Thank you for welcoming me into your home. You're a respectable man, I hear. Jack: OOH FUCK Bruce: Bruce Wayne. Falcone: I know who you are. The guy who's gonna sell me his house. Jack: Uuuuhhhh Alfred: Gentlemen. Perhaps, we'll be more comfortable in the parlor? Follow me if you will. Jack: Shouldn't have shaken his hand >:( My public image is important. Dent: You should know, Mr.Falcone, my analysts say we're raising triple with Mr.Hill- Hey! What's- Security: Private audience. Dent: Ugh. Come on guys Bruce? Falcone: You'll be fine out there. There're plenty of skirts to keep you busy for a few minutes. Jack: UHHHHH Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Alone! Bruce: We'll talk alone. Just you and me. Sorry Harvey... Dent: Yeah I'll uh.... I'll get a drink or something. Christ. Oh so that's Troy Baker doing Bruce Wayne's voice. I love him so much <3 Falcone: Yeah well that's just like Harvey, huh? Wants to make sure the rules are followed. But in my experience, there's the law And there's doing what's right. You understand? And I'd rather see Harvey actually help this city instead of saying he will. Bruce: Unlike most people I know, Harvey actually has integrity. He's trying to make Gotham a better place. Falcone: So am I! So are you! Hey, we all carry the city on our broken backs Might... lighten the load if we do so together. Jack: Sure, sure. Falcone: I ain't give a shit wag about politics, Mr.Wayne. Gives me indigestion. I got enough of that as is. So let's talk relationship Jack: What? Falcone: Chalk this for me. Be a pal Jack: Ummmm Falcone: I can get Harvey the mayor's seat or I can... pull it out from under him. Jack: Fuckin' chalk it yourself, bitch Falcone: Whatever happened to being a gracious host? Jack: Ummm (you say that a lot) Falcone: Ok, imagine. This is me. And these are all my friends in Gotham. The businesses, restaurants, clubs, docks, unions, politicians... I make them all move. And I want to keep everything moving if Harvey gets elected. That's why I came here tonight to your lovely home. Hoping to make a new friend. One who can help Mr.Dent see the light. if maybe Between your businesses and mine, Jack: Just doing it for Harvey! Bruce: Look, I'm only talking to you because Harvey asked. Trust in your friend to know what's best for Gotham Falcone: Now that's a predicament. You listen to me, kid. I know somewhere inside that tuxedo, you understand the situation. Money gets money. The risks, the alliances, the hidden costs? Your father knew which hands to shake (oooo) Jack: Oop. Don't mention daddy. Falcone: And which to break. Bruce: Don't you dare talk about my father. Falcone: You're getting worked up over nothing! Hell, I knew him longer than you did. People don't say no to me. Jack: NO Falcone: Not for long. Alfred: Master Bruce! Your guests are leaving. I recommend seeing them out. You wouldn't want to be rude. Thanks Alfred Falcone: Heed your butler's advice, kid. Oh and I'm no longer interested in buying the house The owner's a prick. He's gonna get what's coming to him. Jack: OOHH How dare you. GET OUTTA MY HOUSE Even though he's already leaving but... Man, what an asshole. WHAT AN INTRO! (took half an hour tho) I like this game! This is cool! I like the setup that's going on. And I like- I like the voices even though every time I listen to Falcone, now all I can hear is Victor Sullivan. But it's nice. Feels good. Come on game, don't freeze up on me now. Atta boy Bat Cave? Bruce: It's me. Jack: Yeahhhh Ooooohhh! There's mah baby! *Bat Cave music* Ah looks cool Episode one! Batmaannnnnn
