FUNNIEST TEXTS EVER V2

[Music] what is that ground beef hey gorgeous how are you she's sleeping bro it's me her boyfriend hey handsome how are you corgis on hiphop wrong I'm scared baby why is that that one day you'll love someone other than me too late for that I will and she looks just like you or our daughter you are so sweet that's why I love you know your sister how was your hinge date she got drunk and adopted a dog marry her immediately hey mom I got detention what what happened and you're grounded well when the teacher was standing in front of the chalkboard she asked de Lydia to stand up okay so I stood up and said to her well I didn't want you to feel lonely you're ungrounded you just made my day and everyone else here at work - where you at it's past 7:00 and you haven't answered your phone I'm sitting by the entrance to the right can you please let me know what's going on I've been sitting here for almost half an hour and I look stupid Brian to be honest I'm not going to show up you're a funny good-looking guy but it's just weird that you open my car door for me and like old doors open for me all the time like my hands are broken like who does that it's super weird I just like the fact you pay for everything really wherever we go plus you work full time which is super annoying while are you serious hi boyfriend wanna hang out tomorrow sure I'd love to hang out boyfriend wait that's supposed to say best friend oMG you're gay too yes and now I have a boyfriend thank you autocorrect hey are you good in maths yes okay let's try one times 10 equals 10 1 times your phone number equals my phone number Hey what happened eating Donuts what you doing are you sexy eating Donuts no what you doing watching TV nice cool what you doing eating Donuts cool what you doing watching Netflix you eating Donuts bro yesterday I was really hungry and there was nothing to eat so I ate my clock wow that sounds very time-consuming glub glub we broke up a year ago please go get help you're such a jerk you're oMG you're so annoying you're stop doing that you're making me mad you're fine I'm gonna slap your face you're hey Dad do you believe in ghosts there is no such thing as ghosts but our maid said there's ghosts pack your bags meet me out in the car now why we don't have a maid yo imma ask this to you one time you've got something going on with my girl oh my dear god no Bethany is like a sister to me oh thank god wait you're from Alabama right sorry no speak English how is our pregnant little daughter mom how did you know I meant perfect wait what please stop changing the Google logout so much I like the original one mom I don't change the logo Google changes it on my computer you don't run the Google if I did I wouldn't be driving a 2004 Ford hello my name is Katherine I'd like to adopt a purebred cat from your shelter preferably British Shorthair I don't like mixed breeds for aesthetic reasons do you have one yes we have one British Shorthair but he wants to live with only British people he doesn't like mixed breeds for aesthetic reasons what provide us with your ancestry documents to proceed with the adoption hello beautiful you making sex with me hi who is this do I know you but in her baby um I think you got the wrong person show the ginger please please your boyfriend is out shopping with some fat girl I'm following them I'll keep you updated actually it's me with him this is what my school had for their anti texting and driving campaign sorry running late what happened got pulled over for texting and driving loser that's what you get I love you Abby who is Abby I meant baby it was autocorrect promise yes I will trust you because I know you wouldn't lie to me but don't do it again hey Abby my girlfriend almost caught me I told her I meant baby and she believed Wow hey surprise me and I will send you my nudes sorry I don't want nudes Wow surprise yeah I'm surprised mutes please dad I think I might be gay I don't get it you think you might be gay you're unsure yeah tell you what I'll send you some gay porn by email and we will see if it does anything for you okay it does nothing so the sight of two grown men blowing each other and [ __ ] up the ass doesn't arouse you dad normally it does but not when it's you and uncle Steve hey son can you come help me rake these leaves oh my sorry autocorrect girls Restoration 100 bro I just watched Avengers end game wanna hear a spoiler okay tell I'm not scared I saw your girlfriend with someone else in the theater daddy I feel like we why is that princess I am NOT skinny like all down other girls I see on tumblr it makes me few sips conscious well then maybe you should lose something way to do that and why are you typing like this are you [ __ ] or something I'm fat no you're not I just ate two McDonald's hamburgers I just ate seven cookies you have cookies the back door is open hello who are you and row at row hey babe ready to get down tonight young man this is Susan's mother she left her phone home hello ha ha got you [ __ ] now tell me what we are doing again tonight yay we gonna do it so hard you won't be able to get out of bed in the morning I was kidding I'm really her mother and I'm calling your mom lunch is ready what are we having Jabba kado toast laws I'm leaving you I can type fastest boy I don't believe you try me yeah you can ask a question can I ask a question first what the [ __ ] do you like Wenders hell yeah so you love Wendy's not so hitting your chin go away long ok ha ha sorry my bad can I ask about your musical tastes you're fine I like country and pop pop do you like imagine dragons yeah imagine dragging deez nutz across your face oh my god I'm dying as I was texting I just bumped into a [ __ ] deer I'm shaking wait literally you hit a deer with your body I physically ran into it I felt it's weird hair and I even apologized how old is your girlfriend 41 hahahaha she could be your mom yes but she is yours what's the username and password for your Wi-Fi username sucker password listed it says the password isn't long enough that yes pick a number between 1 and 598 that's how many people I'm going to school a few don't buy me an Xbox your sister and I are going to prime burger okay can you get me a bacon cheeseburger with pickles please no then why did you tell me you were going to disappoint you as much as you disappoint me OMG babe I'm at the doctor office and he said I'm lactose intolerant you're what lactose intolerant what the [ __ ] is that I don't know but he told me not to eat cheese milk and eggs oh you mean lactose intolerant babe you have to be the dumbest [ __ ] in the history of all dumbest [ __ ] you gotta help me bro I did it with this girl who lied about being 18 fbi's on my toe okay dude relax she lied about our age just so that she can have a good time under sheets if she is 17 or 16 then it's natural for some girls to lie to get some how old was she anyway eight never you are going to jail hi sweetheart my boyfriend has dandruff what can I do about it give him head and shoulder how do I give shoulder OMG mom are you okay mob why hello there young strong American man hello young Jewish girl how goes it I've always wanted a man who could tell I was a Jewish girl right away it's in my blood to notice Jews ok hell no let's fight about what I dunno what's your favorite animal elephants elephants fight me on ps4 oh wait you don't have a ps4 fight me in real life oh wait you don't have a real life which is your favorite color stop asking silly questions like a kid how is Pharma cassadee prepared in a lab give chemical reaction for it pink pink is my favorite color Cheswick cheese milk go the [ __ ] to bed BAE I'm wet what you want to pay for towel no I want more than that you want two paper towels no I want something big and round damped you want the whole roll by Charles do you like cars yes why go to the kitchen hello I send me pink I mean you're pigs no manual full body Pig are you sending my grandma pictures of your dick no why [Music] my man's why you always saying bro because I'm not comfortable saying the n-word it's alright I'll give you the never pass catching a minor burr never mind bro you've been visited by the safety dog Oh LIKE this video and subscribe to be safe from all danger [Music]

Channel: Clumsy

Views: 5,921,493

Rating: 4.9266176 out of 5

Keywords: funniest texts ever, texts, messages, humor, funny texts, funny, texts from exes, fails, funny texts fails, texts from teachers, texts from boyfriend, texts from girlfriend, sms, memes, relationship, funny texting fails, funniest ex text messages, ex text, texting fails, funny ex texts, texts fails, funniest texts, funny dad texts, funniest, text

Id: MvdLXsBqRsw

Length: 11min 13sec (673 seconds)

Published: Wed May 08 2019