FUNNIEST MOMENTS of Yes, Minister Series 1 | Yes, Minister | BBC Comedy Greats

look if the pm wants you to be in the stupid cabinet the pm will phone back if you're out or you can phone back telling the whole point is that i ran the campaign against the pm for the leadership if i'm out well who knows i could take a message hello yes speaking oh it's you michael no i haven't had a call if you had a call bill's had a call what's he got europe bill's got europe lucky europe i didn't know bill could speak french you can hardly speak english yeah i'll call you back if i hear anything right bye fingers crossed hello yes speaking to the gas board good lord man that was weeks ago yeah well would you mind i'm waiting for a rather important call look mr franklin there happened to be a general election yesterday oh you voted for the other side did you how on earth did you manage to get to the polling booth on the right day to assistance three returns for spare parts look mr franklin no frankly franklin i don't care if the whole central heating system collapses in ruins i have got to get off this phone goodbye they won't come now the pn gives me consumer affairs they'll come hello hello hello did you know martin's got the foreign office has he jack's got health and fred's got energy has anyone got brains what do you mean no i know what i mean but what's left i mean what have i got rhythm frank i have heard absolutely nothing not that it's surprising my whole career is going down the drain and up a spout because the prime minister of england is totally unable to reach me on the electric telephone you get it would you darling hello hello this is the bbc we were wondering if mr hacker would like to be interviewed on the pm program this afternoon p.m p.m oh yes jim hecka here are you available this afternoon yes every time you like anytime you we were wondering if perhaps we could interview you well yes i've been hoping you'd call tell me what job do you think you're likely to get a bigger problem [Laughter] tell me what job do you think you're likely to get hardly me to say is it that's for you to tell me why what i mean well it's not up to me to say i mean that's for the pm to say i mean you're the pm's office oh i see the uh the bbc pm office what a silly mistake yes goodbye well i did try and tell you you answer the bloody thing hello uh mrs hacker speaking oh congratulations prime minister it's annie here hello yes prime minister of course yes i right now i'll be on the next train [Music] hello vic you know what's happy applebee vic gould our chief whip you really are a pain in the ass aren't you the pm's going up the wall huh hitting the roof you can't go around making speeches like that open government oh shut up weasel who's asking you wisely he's right open government i mean it was the main plank in the heart manifesto i mean the pm believes in that open yes but not gaping in politics you have to learn to say things with tact and finesse you back and wouldn't say nothing at all how long have you been a minister a week and a half i think you may have earned yourself a place in the guinness book of records i can see the headlines already cabinet splits on u.s trade hacker leads revolt against prime minister that's what you want is it ah sir arnold what news that speech is causing the prime minister some distress has it definitely been released to the press well the minister gave express instructions before noon isn't that i'm appalled at you humphrey how could you let the minister put himself in this position without going through the proper channels the minister and i believe in open government we want to throw open the windows and let in a bit of fresh air isn't that right minister no minister it's good party stuff but it puts the prime minister in a very difficult situation personally what about our commitment to open government this seems to be the closed season for open government uh do you want to uh you want to give thought to a draft letter of resignation minister i mean just in case could we hush it up you mean suppress it yes i suppose i do i see you mean that within the framework of the guidelines about open government that you have laid down you are suggesting that we should adopt a more flexible posture do i well yes yes excuse me minister about the press release there appears to have been a development which could precipitate a reappraisal of our position apparently we failed to rescind the interdepartmental clearance procedure oh the supplementary stop order came into effect so it's it's all right minister your speech hasn't gone to the press it's only gone it's only gone to the prime minister's private office and the duty officer had no instructions to pass it out without clearance from the pm and the foreign office the american reference you see but how come the fault is entirely mine minister the procedure for holding our press releases dates back to before the era of open government and i unaccountably omitted to rescind it i do hope you'll forgive this lapse well yes of course that's quite right humphrey quite all right thank you minister after all we all make mistakes yes minister the people of buranda urged the scots and the irish the english oppression cast off the imperialist yoke and join the fellowship of free nations good god yes well minister we would appear to be caught with our trousers down humphrey he can't say this in front of her well i don't like to say i told you so but i told you sir we can have egg all over our faces not egg minister just imperialist yoke three scottish by-elections on thursday yes it is indeed a catastrophe a tragedy a cataclysmic apocalyptic monumental calamity you did it humphrey you're paid to advise me advise me well this is not unlike trying to advise the captain of the titanic after he struck the iceberg must be something we can do hmm we could sing abide with me yes minister oh yeah the foreign secretary would like a word ah this yes foreign minister's concerned that the government will have egg all over its face scotching presumably why is he doing it well maybe it's for home consumption he's only just taken over perhaps he's trying to persuade the other african leaders that he's a anti-colonialist yes yes the the press officer would like a word good yeah room for littleton do you think it's a good idea to issue a statement well minister in practical terms we have the usual six options one do nothing two is your statement deploring the seal three lodge an official protest for cut off aid five break off diplomatic relations and six declare war which should be well if we do nothing we implicitly agree with the speech two if we issue a statement we'll just look foolish three if we lodge a protest it'll be ignored four we can't cut off aid because we don't give them any five if we break off diplomatic relations we can't negotiate the oil rig contracts and six if we declare war it might just look as though we were overreacting in the old days we just sent in a gun boat yes i suppose that is absolutely out of the question yeah you administered this yeah under secretary of the foreign office is coming down the corridor may i come in minister you can try this is all we needed welcome to the standing committee so freddie you've seen this this abominable speech what are we going to do about it well minister foreign secretary i think i think we know what's behind it don't we happy i think so frederick is suggesting that the offending paragraph may be shall we say a bargaining counter you mean you want something but if he doesn't why send us an advanced copy well why did you find out what it is he wants because the embassy staff are all new we've only just seen the speech and no one knows anything about this new president except me except you how they were at university together the old boy network hey that was 25 years ago he may not even remember me no i i don't really think i could i think you ought to see him spread with you no minister i think you'll carry more weight well we're all agreed then that the mountain shall go to muhammad oh no no no jim's going that's what i meant all right but you'll have to come with me well of course minister i'd hardly let you do it on your own you ready i've read it have you read this he's read it let me read it to you we read it let's get rid of jim hacker by john pilgrim our special investigator the right honourable jim hacker mp promised to carry out the government's pledge to slim down the civil service and to wipe out the interference from the white hall and town hall busy bodies but how many people realize that to take just one example more people serving the inland revenue than the royal navy is true i believe it is perhaps the government thinks that attacks is the best form of defense oh that's rather witty so have you read this bit i have read it i have discovered that no less than four ministries check the supply of the same armor uniforms the ministry of defense checks to see they get what they ordered the department of industry checks to see they have been manufactured according to government regulations the treasury checks the bills and jim hacker's mob just checks up on everyone else jim hacker is the most obvious case of over manning in whitehall let's start by getting rid of him and saving at least one salary frank why did you read me that i told her i'd read it because i'm your political advisor do you realize how politically damaging this is for you good morning minister um have you read this yes yes yes i have read it i have read it you have read it he has read it we have all bloody read it i make myself clear abundantly mr humphrey we have got to slim down the civil service how many people have we got in this department uh this department oh very small small household oh i don't know um two thousand three thousand um about twenty three thousand i think minister three thousand in the department of administrative affairs 23 000 people just administering other administrators we'll have to do a time and motion study see who we can get rid of we did one of those last year minister it transpired we needed another 500 people however minister we could always close your bureaucratic watchdog office oh no you don't have to just open it so one thing i've done since i got here as you wish minister but it has been criticized as a troublemaker's letterbox it's very popular with the voters humphrey give them a chance to help us find ways to stop wasting government money public doesn't know anything about wasting government money we're the expert that's not what i meant well the bureaucratic watchdog office stays well offhand i can't think of what else to suggest are you seriously telling me that there is no way we can cut down well i suppose we could lose one or two of the tea ladies [Laughter] do we should i want the facts i want to know who works here what they do what buildings we have what goes on in them a complete record then we'll know where to cut costs cut staff cut procedures the civil service minister exists to implement legislation enacted by parliament as long as parliament continues to legislate the civil service must continue however i'm fully seized of your requirements minister and if you'll excuse me i'll go and set the wheels in motion my name is weasel wise did you know the north west regional controller has achieved cuts of 32 million pounds in his region alone and that the civil service is suppressing the whole story this is true well if it is i'm a ghast well why are they suppressing you because if he can save money everyone else will have to do it why don't you look into it have a bit of a ferret around [Laughter] do you think i could i think that's a very good idea mr ferret uh weasley uh it's just uh mr bruff this morning minister our director of manpower planning for the north east region you remember yes uh staff reductions and then straight to the house for question time and a seven o'clock division and eight o'clock the french prime minister's reception uh at his embassy right so if you will excuse me minister i must take the schedules down to the wips office well um oh yes it is worth it you know sent to page street three pictures oh yes i have read it see there's one of me in the cheese roll in the cardboard plate no luxury lunches in hacker's new austerity regime economy begins at home said jim hacker today as he set an example to britain's pampered army of bowler-hatted bureaucrats terrific yes you have read it to me already at least great isn't it oh yes caught him eyes on the beaches me yes yes i would like to see the minister uh do you have an appointment my name's ron watson i'm the general secretary of the union of civil service transport and associated government oh yes mr watson we're very disturbed about rumors of cutbacks and redundancies affecting our members i'm sorry i'm sorry mr watson you can't see the minister now you must have an appointment look uh uh phone me tomorrow but why can't i arrange it now i'm sorry oh really oh all right see if you can make an appointment with mr watson to see the minister next week next week mr bruff yes we're expecting mr bruff now oh when's it june at houston oh well we'll just have to cancel it for today then yes yes i'll tell him goodbye sorry to keep you now about your appointment uh when will be convenient the uh meeting's cancelled then yes right so i can see him now oh no i'm afraid not you see oh would you excuse me just a moment yes no he's not here well um he's gone over to the whips office actually well would you like the extension hi uh mr rob i know mr broofs had to cancel the meeting my name's ron watson oh my glad you could get here instead anyway uh oh thank you now mr um uh what mr watson before we start there's one thing i must make absolutely clear this must not get out if the unions were to get to hear of this all hell would be let loose oh yes of course there'll be redundancies you simply you simply can't slim down a giant bureaucracy like this without getting rid of people ultimately a lot of people won't you be holding discussions with the unions first we'll go through the charade of discussions but you know what trade unions to like thickest two short blacks and bloody minded all of them pretty well good lord you should know all they're interested in is poaching each other's members and getting themselves on the telly and they can't keep their big mouth shut what about drivers and transport service stuff first to go goodbye we waste a fortune on cars and drivers and they're all on the fiddler because as i was trying to explain i'm not mr broof's deputy i'm the general secretary of the union of civil service transport and associated government i i and i came here to check there was no truth in the rumor of redundancies for my members well i i i i i didn't all i meant oh god hello thank you good night good night hello darling hello [Music] leaving me at last it's our anniversary tomorrow have you forgotten no of course i haven't forgotten we're going to paris oh my god you hadn't no i hadn't no it's just i i didn't i'm double i'm going to swansea tomorrow swansea and newcastle i don't want to go to swansea in newcastle for my anniversary no not you just me cancel them i can't what are you doing cancel them we booked this three months ago i can't then i'll go to paris without you bernard yes it's me look i'm going to have to cancel tomorrow swansea and newcastle well you see it's my wife's wedding anniversary tomorrow it's yours too yeah and mine too actually yes it is what do you mean coincidence don't silly though anyway i'm going to paris tomorrow and that's final yes i know i said before that it's final but this time it is final well you'll just have to curb as best you can that's all yes yes definitely yes is that clear right we're going to paris no i'm going to swansea in newcastle see me on tv tonight i saw somebody who looked like you what's that meant to me nothing frank weisel says i've just become a civil service mouthpiece yes what do you mean yes oh yes you mean you agree of course do you mean of course i mean you could have hired an actor to say it all for you he'd have said it better and while you're at it why not just sign your letters with a rubber stamp or get an assistant principal to sign them for you they write them anyway assistant principals do not write my letters and the secretaries do that i rest my case milot you don't think i've just become a puppet do you yes i do maybe you should get miss piggy to do your job at least she's prettier i don't know what to do about it i'm just swamped by the work i'm so depressed look as we're not going to paris let's at least go out for a quiet little dinner tonight at the trap on the corner no i can't burners told me i've got to get through three red boxes tonight i mean bernard's told you oh darling when you edited reform you were quite different you went in you told people what to do you demanded what you wanted and you got it now either you get them by the throat or they get you by the throat how many articles do you blue pencil and tear up in those days dozens and how many official papers have you torn up i'm not allowed to not a lot too darling you're the minister you can do anything you like the fact of the matter is that the civil service and i are in complete accord over this whole business and i'm happy to announce that we are now ready to put our proposals into publication in fact tonight i can say that from september the first every citizen of the uk will have the absolute right to inspect his personal file and check any information that he or she has ever supplied to the government no civil servant will be allowed to examine personal files from another department without a written authority from a minister and i shall be announcing in the house next week legislation enabling citizens to take legal action against any civil servant who gains unauthorized access to his file encouraging minister why did you not say so in the first place and put people's minds at risk frankly i didn't believe that the civil service could meet our deadlines godfrey but they've convinced me that they can and in fact my permanent secretary has staked his reputation on it if not heads will roll anyway assistance it can't be done it's been announced on television well bennett what did you make of our minister's performance well i i think it's checkmate see me on the box last night happening of course minister how was i good a most remarkable performance minister if i may say sir maybe you may thank you minister well minister we've been working very hard all night i'm happy to be able to tell you that we have come up with some draft proposals which would enable you to achieve your desired objectives by the stated dates well done freddie you see i tell the nation how splendid you were i was right i had every confidence in you quite so minister must have had quite a night yes minister quite a night let's see your proposals yeah they are here are mine would you have specific proposals to no indeed now halfway you read out what you've got on safeguards and i'll read out what i've got and we'll see how they compare personal data 1a safeguards must be applied with reference to two criteria the need to know and the right to know to have a need to know we seem to be of the same mind humphrey indeed where did those proposals come from minister can you hear me where did those proposals come from humphrey my lips are sealed just one more thing minister the evidence to the central policy review staff we mean the think tank country yes manager what about it have you redrafted the redraft of your draft you don't want it yet deal yes why well so that we can redraft it no that won't be necessary i think it will minister country drafting is not a civil service monopoly you know no it's a highly specialized skill which few outside the service can master nonsense drafts is easy it's a game anyone can play not without getting huffed so could i have the draft proposal please certainly hungry when minister later hungry yes but when well you're always saying we mustn't rush things aren't you minister i must ask you for a straight answer on what day tomorrow monday tuesday in due course humphrey at the appropriate juncture in the fullness of time when the moment is right when the necessary procedures have been completed nothing precipitate of course minister this is getting urgent uh gin humphrey what a lot of new words we're learning prime minister you'll forgive me if i say this but i'm beginning to suspect that you are concealing something from me surely you and i have no secrets from each other have we have we i'm sorry minister but sometimes one is forced to consider the possibility that affairs are being conducted in a way which all things being considered and making all possible allowances is not to put too fine a point on it perhaps not entirely straightforward well you're the expert on straightforwardness so what about the draft evidence to the central policy review staff well since you asked humphrey and perfectly straightforward i have redrafted it myself i don't want you to redraft it i am perfectly happy with it as it is may i be bold enough to ask what you have said i've said what i wanted to say phased reductions in the civil service yes but i humphrey you have frustrated me over open government you have frustrated me over the economy drive but this time i'm going to have my way the party wants it the public wants it and i'm bound to say that all we get from the civil service is delaying tactics well i wouldn't call civil service delays tactics minister that would be to mistake lethargy for strategy but you must realize that there is a real desire for radical reform in the air the all-party select committee on administrative affairs which i found it is a case in point it's a great success no indeed what has it achieved nothing yet is very pleased with it ah why ten column inches in last monday's daily mail for a start oh i see the government is going to measure its success in column inches is it yes no yes and no minister the evidence that you're proposing to submit is not only untrue it is also which is much more serious unwise now we've been through all this before the expansion of the civil service is the result of parliamentary legislation not bureaucratic empire building so when this next comes up at question time you want me to tell parliament that it's their fault that the civil service is too big but it's the truth minister i don't want the truth i want something i can tell parliament after you're my permanent secretary you're supposed to enact my policies yet i still don't understand why you seem implacably opposed to them i must know where you stand on all this where one stands minister depends upon where one sits am i to infer that you'll not support me oh we'll always support you minister but as your standard bearer not as your poll bearer humphrey what are you saying i should have thought it was crystal clear minister do not send this report to a body whose recommendations are to be published that is exactly why i'm sending it now i don't want to hear any more about it look everybody knows this euro pass thing won't happen well the pm's got to play along with it until after the napoleon prize is awarded napoleon prize yes it's a nato award given once every five years gold medal big ceremony in brussels hundred thousand pounds the pm's the front runner this time it's for the statesman who's made the biggest contribution to european unity since napoleon that is if you don't count hitler so what well the awards committee sits in six weeks time well obviously the pm isn't gonna rock the boat until it's in the back you don't put boats in bags oh nothing minister once the prize is awarded the pm will obviously dump the euro passes martin how many people know about the winner of the napoleon prize oh it's top secret oh you mean everyone no no well that's it then humphrey don't you see see what minister backbenchers leaks what the welsh nationalist party no no they're sorrified secretary i'll come back no no no don't go the very man come on in daniel i want to ask your advice i give any help i can minister though if it's a question of shutting stable doors off the horses have bolted even i am powerless to help advice-wise i don't think you'll be powerless in this case it's really a sort of moral dilemma look supposing a back venture would have put down a a question for the prime minister asking whether the europass which backbencher euro pass is top secret oh you mean like the winner of the napoleon prize is top secret i think the minister meant a hypothetical backbencher quite so abundant thank you a hypothetical backbencher and a hypothetical question to the pm asking whether or not britain was going to adopt the europass highly improbable oh i agree highly improbable but suppose the pm would once say yes it would be very damaging in the country yes and suppose the pm were to answer no it would be very damaging in europe and to the pm personally napoleon suppose a prize-wise minister were to get to hear of this hypothetical question in advance what should he do well the only responsible course would be to ensure that the question was not tabled that must be obvious serious business trying to suppress an mp's question nevertheless there is no other course the only way to stop him might be to get him to put down a question asking the prime minister to squash the rumors about the closure of the department for administrative affairs oh i'm sure whatever made you think no question of anything but the fullest support but you said only yesterday that a plan to abolish the department had been put up and the pm was smiling on it no smiling at it smiling at it the whole idea was ridiculous laughable out of the question joke a it's a joke i mean you didn't imagine that a minute from the prime minister's office confirming this and squashing the rumor will be circulated to all departments within 24 hours so that we can all share it um joke wise i mean do you really think it's necessary yes yes well i'm sure something can be arranged if you'll excuse me checkmate i'll think game set and match can daniel hughes really fix this i mean don't prime ministers have minds of their own certainly but as president nixon's henchmen once said when you've got them by the balls their hearts and binds will follow so you think this might not get into the national press well a few lines on the inside page of the guardian but nothing to worry about actually it's only the urban middle class who worry about the preservation of the countryside because they don't have to live in it would that be all minister yeah no this may well blow over but it doesn't answer my basic question which was why wasn't i told about it before i made the announcement there are those who have argued and indeed urgently that on occasion there are some things it is better for a minister not to know are you talking about her minister your answers in the house said that the press conference was superb you were convincing and convinced the critics were silenced but could you have spoken with the same authority if the ecological pressure group had been badgering you but i have a right to know i am the people's representative what right have you got to withhold this information from me it's intolerable it's in your own best interest ministers mean something that is better for the minister not to know i mean it's outrageous it must not occur again it so happens that i've got a plan here for the reorganization of this department which will ensure that it doesn't indeed yes indeed now if i were to have one under secretary and two assistant secretaries reporting directly to me minister please no just a moment humphrey let me tell you my plan the plan is immaterial minister i have something to say to you which you may not like to hear why should today be any different minister the traditional allocation of executive responsibilities has always been so determined as to liberate the ministerial incumbent from the administrative minutiae by devolving the managerial functions to those whose experience and qualifications have better formed them for the performance of such humble offices thereby releasing their political overlords for the more onerous duties and profound deliberations which are the inevitable concomitant of their exalted position now whatever made you think i wouldn't want to hear that well i thought it might upset you how could it i didn't understand a single word country for god's sake for once in your life put it into plain english if you insist you are not here to run this department i'd pick your pardon you are not here to run this department i think i am the people think i am too with respect minister you are they are wrong and who does run this department i do i see and what am i supposed to do we've been through all this before make policy get legislation enacted and above all secure the department's budget in cabinet i sometimes think that the budget is all you ever really care about is rather important minister if nobody cared about the budget we might end up with a department so small that even a minister could run it humphrey are we about to have a fundamental disagreement about the nature of democracy no minister merely a demarcation dispute what i mean is that the menial chore of running a department is beneath you your fashion for a nobler calling well i'm quite prepared to leave the routine paperwork to you but i must insist on direct access to all information never again do i want to hear that phrase there are some things that is better for a minister not to know exactly well i do that is an order humphrey as you say minister if that is what you really want treating cabinet ministers as though they were irresponsible ten-year-olds ah good morning minister good morning i'm craig morning bernard sorry i'm late just put them on the desk with you george yes i'll be about an hour i don't want to be late at broadcasting house right sir what's this broadcast all about by the way nato isn't it uh no minister partnerships in industry oh yes knew it was something like that who else is in it it's all in there minister an employer and a trade unionist as usual joe morgan wasn't he the tuc representative on the sony hall project uh minister ah minister you are not proposing to refer to the solihull project on the air certainly i regard it as a shining example of cooperation between the government and private industry yes but all the same i would be much happier if it were omitted why well don't you think it's rather premature certainly not building started months ago exactly um rather out of date in fact premature and out of date well untimely don't you think it'd be rather uninteresting to the general public certainly not just something that's going on right now extremely interesting yes quite so so interesting in fact that there is a danger that it might obscure your main point perhaps what is my main point ben what's the minister's main point oh yes that private projects are more socially responsible with government money and government projects are more efficient with private investment i see it underlines my main point you really are a wet blanket aren't you harmful just go about stirring up apathy minister i must seriously advise you with all the earnestness at my command not to refer to the solely hull project on the air today why what i said why why why well minister it couldn't be that you're planning to take the credit for this yourself could it at next month's european convention of government administration your keynote speech will make very good reading won't it well let me tell you a few facts of life humphrey it is politicians who are responsible ultimately to the people and it is we who get the credit not civil servants minister i would be perfectly happy for you to have the credit for this project but i must beg beseech and implore you not today no it's no good humphrey i'm not going to fall for it i'm going to get all the political capital i can out of the solely hall project minister i'm not a good thing when i see one please minister do listen to no no minister no happy what what seven half million pounds probable bankrupt proceeding imminent collapse of project well in it limited collapse a project humphrey why didn't you tell me all this before minister i am deeply conscious of the heavy burdens well this becomes public knowledge it'll be all over the front pages it's a public scandal a disaster it's appalling wait a minute jim look this report is dated before the election you're in the clear you're laughing yes but unfortunately under the convention of ministerial responsibility the blame but everyone will know it wasn't jim quite so but the principle of democratic accountability requires the occasional human sacrifice when the pack is paying for blood isn't that right minister surely he has only to point to the base oh a lesser man might try to wriggle out of it but there is only one honorable course open as the minister is well aware don't you think frank might have a point except of course only today minister you have publicly identified yourself with the success of the project oh god the broadcast oh yes where'd you go yeah well it's due for transmission about now no yes i'm afraid so get on to the bbc at once yes stop it better stop what minnesota oh yes yes well minister i wish you luck but you know what the bb's here lies crisis an emergency this is a scandal of course i'm sure if you were to put it like that they might might what move it to peak listening time any luck i'd just like to find out that there is a perfect job for what can be done it's going on up in silly hell now government money and private investment in real partnership and it does seem to be symbolic of everything this government is working for i've taken a great deal of personal interest in this early home project and it's not just words it's actually there symbolic of everything is government humphrey how could you let me say all those things minister i can only advise i did advise i advise mostly strongly but when the advisor's advice is i'm all right all right all right advise me now certainly minister now it is possible that the bank may take over the contract from bradley and sloane enterprises limited and all will be well the bank fine well the bank however is hesitant but it so happens that the director in charge is to retire next year and he's anxious to find another appointment a chairmanship of a quango for instance well give him one give him that one you were reserving for that idiot desmond glenn who is the director of john desmond he's not a bad chap he's always attacking the government in public yes well it does us good sometimes to appoint our opponents i mean you know it's democratic statesman like yes i've changed my mind i think that's a very good appointment but you can't shut up frank anybody else know about this well apart from ourselves and the bank and michael bradley only the union representative on the project joe morgan of course that's what was behind his special birmingham alliance claim blackmail that's quite serviced arm help me i've been thinking if desmond glasebrook is going to be chairman he'll need some support weren't he now i was thinking of a deputy chairman someone with real experience of industry an excellent thought minister is there anyone you could advise me would be particularly appropriate do you think a trade unionist for example um what about joe morgan minister jones excellent idea well done humphrey oh it takes two to quango minister huh trouble at mill miss hacker intends to join the badger protest oh i thought it was over she and her boyfriend are going to conduct a 24-hour save the badgers vigil in hayward spinney unless a protection order is restored and they're putting their announcement out to the press at 5 00 p.m minister's daughter in badger protest vigil that's a little embarrassing but it's not too serious so humphrey i think the minister is going to be more than a little embarrassed what do you mean minister's daughter in new to badger protesters what uh yes miss hacker and her boyfriend will be uh that is will not not be i mean i guess do you mean stalkers bernard yes sir i see well this puts a different complexion on it yeah especially in this weather but in crude journalistic terms this makes it a big story front page with photograph something matter well what shall we say a slight embarrassment minister how's life well without wishing in any sense to overstate the case or cause undue alarm nevertheless the fact that i'm humphry out minister i have a confession to make that's a change come on okay make a clean rest of it not the happiest of phrases how do you mean i have to confess that the badges in hayward spinney may turn out to be a somewhat bigger story than we thought no don't tell me they're going to have kittens no it's not the badgers we're going to have kittens minister there's going to be a 24-hour protest vigil in hayward spinney well you tell me it wouldn't be very newsworthy no this is slightly different minister it's to be conducted by uh by a girl student and her boyfriend just the two of them yeah they don't matter do they a pair of irresponsible thereby well they might matter to some people nonsense bernard everybody's fed up with these ghastly students they're just exhibitionists you know well in this case it would seem they have something to exhibit it's to be a nude protest vigil i see yes that would make the front pages yes quite sir well the press just mustn't find out really i don't know what gets into these students it's appalling they're shameless indeed minister it's their parents you know they don't bring them up properly just let them run wild and then feed them all this trendy middle-class anti-establishment nonsense well perhaps it isn't entirely the parent's fault minute of course it is authority humphrey all this student anarchy is a shocking indictment of their parents lack of authority and discipline so they just take it out on innocent people like me why do we know well we know the young lady's name lady who is she well it seems she's a miss hacker that's my name that's a coincidence not a complete coincidence you

Channel: BBC Comedy Greats

Views: 953,442

Keywords: bbc, bbc comedy greats, bbc comedy, comedy greats, british comedy, stand up, Sitcom, Comedian, Comic, Sketch show, Compilation, Best of, Best bits, Funny, Funniest, Yes Minister COmpilation, Vintage, Jim Hacker, Humphrey, Bernard, Prime Minister, Satire, The Thick of It, yes Prime Minister, Cabinet, Politics, UK Politics, Politician, politicians getting owned

Id: cTnBYVHFjIE

Length: 46min 51sec (2811 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 12 2020