Fun With Your Narcissist! How To Beat Them At Their Own Game And Enjoy It

hello YouTube thanks for tuning in so this is going to be a fun video about having fun with your narcissist how to beat them at their own game and enjoy it so before we get into this material got to put a few disclaimers out there number one you must understand that this person has been doing this for a lot longer than you they're much more skilled they are much more passionate about accomplishing their objectives so keep that in mind you're not dealing with the novice you're dealing with someone who has advanced skill in this disorder so only engage at your own risk which leads me to disclaimer number two if there are any risks involved then do not do any of the techniques I'm about to describe these should only be tried with low-level narcissists where there's no real threat to your physical person there's no threat to your property and there's no threat to your livelihood okay and number three disclaimer you should really only do this when you're at the tail end of your healing or when you have healed completely and maybe this is just a narcissist you can't get rid of for different reasons legal reasons familial reasons for whatever reason you're stuck with this person and the stakes are very very low and you are healed completely because if you're still caught in codependency these will not go over well for you because again remember these people are very skilled at this it's almost like they've studied it so they're better at it than you are however if you have a bit of a rebellious instinct if you are at the tail end of your healing or you heal completely and if the stakes are low I say it's time to have a little bit of fun with your narcissist okay so there are a couple of ways to really get under their skin and it's so fun to watch up until this point the narcissus has relied on your lack of awareness in order to operate once you become aware it's like somebody turned the lights on they can't operate as effectively anymore because you're now aware the mistake most codependents make is they call the narcissists out immediately they might even call them a narcissist to their face this is useless this is pointless because now they're just going to go oh oh I got lazy let me ramp it back up I'm off my game so they're just going to turn their efforts up to get you back in line so you don't really want to call them out on it because now that you're aware you can study them and that's what's so fun about these people because they really are kind of predictable and that's why a lot of the videos you'll hear on YouTube everyone is kind of saying the same thing we all use different examples some of us use similar examples you'll get something out of every video you listen to every time because we've all gone through different versions of this but part of the reason it's also similar is because these people operate in the exact same way they do not deviate over time they become predictable part of the reason I want to do these videos is because I want to help you be able to see them as predictable and once you are you have so much more power and you're so much more empowered so here's how to have a little bit of fun with your narcissist ignore them oh if you really want to get under a narcissus skin ignore them and there are more ways to ignore people than just not answering the phone and not returning a text message that's child's play if you want to ignore the narcissist you don't necessarily downplay their accomplishment you neutralize it so let's say they got a promotion at work and they went on and on and on about this promotion you should say something like that's really great and and leave it at that that's really great and they're gonna go where's the fanfare where's the confetti where where is the red carpet this person is not as excited about the stuff is I she he or she usually is because normally you're like oh my god that's awesome congratulations you work so hard for the Hat ah you really overcame that crappy boss you had let's go out for drinks let's celebrate that's how you normally are right so this time when they tell you about their promotion or whatever it is you go that's really great that's really great I'm sorry it makes me laugh because it's going to catch them off-guard because you're still acknowledging it you're still giving them some kind of food you know you're not flipping it back to yourself you're not going to steal the conversation away from them like they do to you all you're doing is just not giving them the fanfare that they're accustomed to so they're going to tell you about this awesome thing and you're going to go that's really great that's a that's a form of ignoring someone in a way because you're not really playing up what's happening in their life okay the way you're not a narcissist about it is that you don't then snatch the conversation and turn it to you you let them have the floor continually and all you give them is little snack little bite-size pieces of confirmation that's awesome that's awesome okay here's another way to really get under the skin of your narc notice okay narcissists will often take a lot of digs at you big digs little digs little passive-aggressive maneuvers and once you recognize them as a narcissist you understand that they're doing it to kind of tear at your self-esteem to chip away at it without being out in the front about it right without being overt about it so when you notice their digs if you normally kind of react or you find yourself defending yourself or you have some kind of reaction to their dig just ignore it or just pretend you didn't hear it or here's one of my favorites just play dumb oh man play dumb playing dumb is the equivalent of playing dead there are lots of animals in the animal kingdom that when they are in the face of their predator they just play dead and the predator leaves them alone because it's no fun because part of the fun for the predator is the kill the chase and the kill so if you're just laying there playing dead then they're not going to have any fun they're gonna kick around at your feet a little bit they're gonna poke you with a stick when you're not moving they're gonna walk away cuz you're no fun okay so play dumb play dead pretend not to hear it or fake like you heard something else entirely and respond to that like they like to screw with your mind so you screw it there's a little bit you know if they're like oh I see you're wearing summer shoes in the wintertime be like they have this awesome sale on winter boots did you see that sale at Macy's like it it's funny to me because you know it really requires you to stay in the moment and to maintain a presence of mind about the whole situation but when you do it it's funny because in the RIT here's why it's not evil because someone might listen to this and go well you're just acting just like them no you're just returning to them what they give to you every day you're giving to them what they give to you every single day why is it okay to do little digs at you why is it okay to showboat and never let you have have the floor and never let you have accomplishments and something that you're happy about why is it always their show so when you do these little things to them it kind of brings them back to earth and remind them hey you're a human being I know you're missing the empathy chip I don't know what happened I don't know that's a birth injury or something that happened after you were already here but you're missing that and I get that but you're still a human being and you have to be a good person alright so here's another technique that you can use have a little fun with your narcissist if your narcissist is verbose meaning they talk a lot and not just talk a lot they dominate the conversation it's usually all about them and they never flip it back to you it's not a reciprocal conversation it's a monologue it's a one-man or a one-woman show if your narcissistic the next time they call you and you have an opportunity to actually speak jump right in sentence after sentence after sentence after sentence after sentence after sentence don't breathe keep it going sentence after sentence after sentence after sentence after sentence changed the subject change it back sentence after sentence after sentence after sentence you're narcissists will be so overwhelmed because a they're not used to listening to anybody but themselves talk B they're trying to like keep up with all these words and they can't they're getting clustered C they're trying to figure out how they're ever going to turn it back to them and if they can't get it back to them how they're going to get off the phone and D they're just sitting there wondering what just happens wait a minute this is not how this goes he or she must be on drugs today because normally I'm the one doing all the all the talking this is my show wait what happened here so is if they talk too much you have to jump in right away because if you don't they're gonna steal the show from you so as soon as you pick up the phone oh my god I'm so glad you just called I just almost got an accident on the highway but I'm okay now everything's fine you know the cops said that it wasn't my fault so they didn't give me a ticket did you know that you have to call those kinds of things into your insurance and I didn't know that and it really upset me and I was on hold for twenty I mean just go just take off running keep a little bullet list a little bulleted list in front of you if you need to in order to keep the subjects going if you're not used to doing that much talking try it a couple times if you can get through it without laughing because you'll probably start laughing because it's hysterical because who does that okay and here here's a disclaimer I don't mind people who talk a lot as long as what they're saying is substance okay one of my favorite things to do is just sit and watch you Bend watch youtube videos from different authors because I'm interested in what they have to say they usually aren't just talking all about themselves or going on and on on tangents and not making any sense they have substance I don't mind listening to substance narcissists don't have any substance they're hollow shells remember that okay here's a technique for if you work in an office and you have a resident narc in your office if they come over to your office or your Kube and they trap you for 5 10 15 minutes from now on right before they leave ask them to do something for you I don't care what it is send them to the soda machine ask them to look up some file that's buried deep down in the archives ask them to buy some Girl Scout cookies ask them to do something though so they know that every time they visit your desk they're going to walk away with a task give their asses a task and I guarantee you their visits where it will decrease why because they don't like doing things for other people they don't like to have to work ok they're very lazy people in mind and spirits so give them a task every time they stop by your desk throw this away for me run this to the fax machine will you go ask Bobby in accounting give them a task and eventually they'll get tired of coming to your desk because they'll get tired of you asking them to do things and then here's another one and the final one this one's for the office if you have a narcissistic boss crazy psycho boss every time you're in their presence take notes I don't care what the meeting is about the meeting can be about the company picnic take notes write down anything you could write down your grocery list you could actually write down what they're saying that'll really freak them out if you really really want to freak them out be like oh slow down one second we back up what did you just yeah say that again that last cent it's perfect and then jot it down in their presence make sure they can see it and then if you really want to sketch out your narcissist switch up the color of notebook switch up the color of notebook every time you take notes alright so there's a blue notebook maybe a green notebook maybe a red notebook and only take the red notebook out for special occasions okay so don't whip out the red notebook all the time only every now and then switch it up don't make it predictable okay have a have a pink notebook and a yellow notebook that's too many colors there they'll get too flustered by that maybe let's do red green and maybe yellow yeah let's keep it real simple let's keep it traffic light like okay but if you really want to have some fun switch up the color of that notebook every time you see them cuz that'll get their brain thinking what is she writing down and why what is the red notebook why does she bring that notebook every now and then what happened what led to the red notebook oh man you'll get them going because they can't stand not knowing what's going on with you they can't stand not knowing what their target is up to because that's how they position themselves by seeing what you're doing they can position themselves so when they don't know the system they don't know the method to the madness it drives them crazy and they deserve it because they make everyone else's life miserable now everything that I just listed above is not going to change this person until they figure out how to fix this until medical science figures out how to cure it there's nothing you can do all it's going to do is give them a dose of their own medicine something that they rightfully deserve it'll give their mind something to do something to think about especially if you switch those notebooks off on them or give them a task every time they come see you it'll give them something else to think about for a little while until they go back to being crazy so again if you tuned in halfway through the video I did a bunch of disclaimers and the beginning this is not something you want to try with a malignant narcissist some of these people are truly truly evil down to the core and they're not people you want to trifle with because they have weapons at their disposal that they've been waiting to use mental weapons different tactics and sometimes literal weapons in extreme cases so be very very careful be very rooted do your homework study study study all about this disorder because only when you know a lot about it can you then toy with these people because once you really truly internalize it you recognize how predictable they are and how most of them are overgrown four-year-olds who never got their empathy chip installed and once you really take heat of that and understand what you're dealing with and all the illusions come crumbling down and the wool gets pulled off your eyes and you start to heal then you can start to have some fun because you're healthy now they can't hurt you anymore their tactics don't work on you anymore the different things they used to say to you that could trigger you doesn't work on you anymore and you recognize it as a trigger so yeah so review the disclaimers and then once you arrived at that place by all means have yourself a little fun as long as it's a low-level narcissist who doesn't cause any real imminent threat to your life okay you guys thanks so much for listening take care be safe

Channel: Permission To Exist

Views: 1,327,616

Rating: 4.6988339 out of 5

Keywords: dealing with a narcissist, narcissism, narcissist, what is a narcissist, welcome to the narcissism, disarming the narcissist

Id: kUqeoJPzCYg

Length: 16min 49sec (1009 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 28 2016