How To Make The Narcissist MISS YOU After Discard

hello precious drivers Michelle here with from surviving to thriving today is an interesting topic it's how to make the narcissist miss you now this is a topic that's kind of off my normal beaten path because my logic normally is who cares how the narcissist feels it's all about you now moving forward moving on and caring about yourself that's my normal message and I still firmly believe in that but I get a lot of people that email me saying that they have been sucked back into the relationship they continue to pour themselves out there spit out like an old piece of gum and the concept of being used up all over again giving more to the relationship and then being treated so worthless has them stuck and unable to start caring for themselves and it's understandable because the trauma that you go through after giving so much of yourself to be tossed aside and treated as if you never existed as if you never meant anything really leaves a person dented in their self esteem and their confidence in their self of value so it's understandable how you can get stuck so if this is your case if you are always being sucked back into a relationship with a narcissist who love bombs you pulls you in then discards you over and over as if you're a yo-yo you're playing this this game of being pulled in and pushed out so much that you can't seem to break it and part of it is because you can't seem to accept how the narcissist really feels about you and the fact that they wouldn't miss you the fact that they don't really care here are five things you can do to make sure that they miss you now keep in mind the narcissist does not miss their victims the way normal people miss a person they broke up with and we're gonna discuss how the nurse assists misses you after we go over these five points okay so point number one if you want to make the narcissist you and you know that you've been sucked into this relationship over and over again so you see the signs you know the discard is coming and this could be a romantic relationship but it can also be a relationship with a family member a parent one that comes in and pretends to be your best friend you fall for it all over again and they stab you in the back once again okay it could be any relationship with a narcissist the first thing you're going to do when that discard comes and they start going off on you about how they don't want to be with you how it's over and you know that you're getting discarded right now you're going to do what you've never done before and you're going to do what the narcissist doesn't expect you to do you're going to exercise emotional discipline you're going to allow the narcissist to have the last word you're not going to defend yourself you're not going to defend the relationship you're not going to say anything at all but agree with the narcissist they can say you know every time I let you back in my life all you do is ruin everything now in your head you're thinking while all I'm doing is trying to make this work and you are the one that's ruining the relationship you're not gonna say that you're just going to listen when the narcissist is done spilling out their feelings of how awful you are you're going to say I understand I completely agree you know it's over I'm glad we had this conversation that's it the narcissist is going to be left standing there like what I mean what is this person thinking what are they feeling why aren't they sad why are they happy what are they feeling that curiosity is going to gnaw at the narcissist and they're going to bait you they're going to try to get you to reveal your emotions in some way because when the narcissist Disko to their whole purpose of doing that is to get narcissistic supply from your pain if you're upset if you're sad if you cry if you feel crushed if you feel disillusioned expressing that is going to make the narcissist say wow look at me look how powerful I am look at how much control and emotion I can push this person to have this is amazing how strong I am that's what they're doing when you take that away there's a void and they're like what don't I have the power to affect this person what happened how is it that this person now has more power over themselves than I'm able to exercise over them so they're gonna beat you they're gonna say something like and I can tell by that reaction that you really didn't care about the relationship see you don't even care about the relationship that's what's gonna come next again there really aren't looking for you to care about the relationship they're looking for you to reveal that you care so that they can say yes she does care and I took it away and I crushed her and I'm powerful okay so that's what you have to remember when they say you don't care just say well you know it's it's over thank you for having this conversation with me I hope I hope the best for you end of conversation point number two okay and this is very important because you've left the narcissist confused by doing point number one so they're going to want to test what's going on point number two you break off all contact in other words you leave the narcissist that conversation if it was in person the very first thing you do when you get in your car wherever you are when you're alone and away from the person is you block their phone number delete their contact in your phone on any social media block them if you have Instagram stop following them Facebook block them unfriend them do everything to completely disconnect have zero contact once again you are not giving any emotional reaction to the narcissist and that is what they need the most from you so you're removing that okay but the third thing that has to do with social media is you're not going to post anything having to do with a broken heart anything having to do with the fact that you broke up in your relationship you're not going to post any any sayings and it quotes anything from dating websites nothing you're not going to show that you are going through anything regarding this breakup that's very important because if you do that some people will do that thinking that they're somehow I don't know jabbing at the narcissist but all the Darcys this really does when they see something like that on social media is it makes them laugh and say oh look they're posting that they must be in pain they must be feeling sad to be posting sayings about you know disillusionment or or or falling out of love or or difficulties in life I'm the one causing that I'm all-powerful that's awesome so that's how the narcissist sees that you don't want to give that to them okay so those are three things that you have to do if you want to make the narcissist miss you the fourth thing is make an inventory of the friends you have in common and make sure that you do not talk to them about the relationship because the narcissist will then in order to try to see how you're feeling will contact your friends will and they'll have some kind of crazy excuse to do it it has nothing to do with you it's just that this happened and they just had to reach out for whatever reason and in their manipulation they'll know how to manipulate the conversation so that the person reveals what's going on with you so if your friend knows that you're doing this and they're saying oh yeah well you know she's doing this because he's doing this because he wants you to miss him or you to miss her then the narcissist that everything you've done so far has been a waste of time okay so that's the other thing don't tell anybody that this is your plan because the narcissus will be able to get it out of anybody even your closest friend I have seen narcissists triangulate to people that were formerly best friends one person that didn't even know the narcissist and the narcissist knew how do we zl-- into that life to break up that relationship so don't tell anybody that this is your plan if you need to talk about this to talk about what you're doing join online support groups go on live streams for victims of narcissistic abuse talk with people that have been in relationships with narcissists but do not talk to people that are in your circle of friends that the narcissist can also contact it will backfire on you now eventually one of those friends is going to bring it up in a very subtle way they may say something like oh yeah I heard you guys broke up and you know he was kind of worried about you he's hoping you're okay and in a in a sly way try to see how you're doing that's the time to just say one simple thing and change the conversation you could say oh I'm doing great you know but anyway what what do you think about this or are you going tonight to do that and you change the subject quickly as if you just don't have time to talk about it it's so in the past that it's worthless for you to go into it staying upbeat and positive okay the fifth thing that you need to do if you want the narcissist to miss you is to get out and do things and those are the things you want to post on social media not sayings not quotes not about what other people are doing do things and and show your happiness okay so what are some things you can do well let's say you join a fitness for post about what you're doing I joined this group it's going awesome this is what I'm learning do something you're passionate about if there's an art class take that art class map your pictures painting if there's a writing group if there's a 5k a color run in your neighborhood do it the more things you're out the more ways you're out and you're posting your life trust me nothing hits home nothing makes a narcissist miss somebody more than feeling as if they have lost 100% power especially over somebody that they played yo-yo with for such a long time the thought in their minds that that yo-yo string has broken and that you are not only moving forward but you're happy you're over it and you're active there is nothing that gets a narcissism more than that now here's the catch okay if you are thinking you're going to get the narcissist to miss you and act like a healthy individual by meditating and reflecting on what they did and wanting to change to get you back you're wrong a narcissist will never ever do that they will never think wow you know so-and-so really is an awesome catch I wish I had done things differently let me get them back and not this time I'll be better no a narcissist doesn't do that the way the narcissist misses you is the sad truth is it's all about them their thoughts are man I lost my power this person is moving forward and they don't need me and I have no more power over them and I don't like how that makes me feel I like to feel like I can bring that person up and slam them down whenever I feel like it I don't like this loss of power let me pretend that I actually miss them so that they can so I can reel them back in again that is the only way a narcissist misses you they miss the control they had over you they miss their ability to provoke you into feeling amazing and then take snatch that away from you so that you're feeling awful they miss that that is what they will always ever miss so why am i giving you points on how to make the narcissist miss you because some people are so stuck in that thought that when you tell them to go no contact to focus on themselves to get out to be active to do things to not talk about the narcissist to mutual friends or anyone the narcissist can talk to they don't do it because they're so crushed and they're so stuff that it's like they're there they're in quicksand and they don't know how to get out if the motive is to make the narcissist miss you and if that somehow motivates you to take these five steps it's kind of like reverse psychology on you you think that you're doing it to get back at the narcissist fine if that's the way you want to do it if that's what you want to think but the truth is by doing these five steps you're really helping you you're you're cutting off the the psychological gangrene that has been destroying your life you are removing people from your life that could be flying monkeys you're starting to focus on yourself by being active you're going no-contact all of those things are good for you they're going to help you heal if you need to think that you're getting back at the narcissist and in a way you are you are because the narcissist hates losing control they hate to feel like like they have no more power over you they hate to feel like you don't need them that you are emotionally untouchable by them so that's the benefit you're focusing on you and yes in a way you are getting back at the narcissists because there's nothing that they hate more than feeling unable to cause a reaction in a person okay five tips how to make the narcissist miss you but the truth is it's really about you and how to move on after being in a relationship with the narcissist

Channel: Michele Lee Nieves Coaching

Views: 996,513

Rating: 4.8276086 out of 5

Keywords: does narcissist miss you, revenge on narcissist, discarded by narcissist, how to handle discard, love bombing and devalue, when narcissists go no contact, how to outsmart the narcissist, narcissist hoovers, narcissists stalk after discard, narcissist uses flying monkeys, narcissits destroy, narcissists hate you, can narcissists love, healing narcissism

Id: sOsJkkwLNt8

Length: 14min 56sec (896 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 08 2018