8 Phrases to Shut Down Narcissists/Toxic People

getting into a drama battle with a narcissist to me is like stepping in quicksand the ground may look solid but one step into the quicksand and it's obvious that it is not solid ground and the interesting thing about quicksand is you don't really have a danger unless you struggle in other words unless you start having reactions to being in the quicksand and your emotions start getting elevated you start going into distress you start panicking the more you move around the more you sink I kind of feel like that's what happens when you are sucked into a drama battle with a narcissist if you fall for any of the narcissist manipulation tactics which I recently did a video where I talked about seven of them if you haven't seen that video make sure you take a look at that this is how narcissus operate in conversations so if you fall for any one of them that's one foot into the quicksand once you fall for one of their strategies the temptation is to try to get through to the narcissist to try to be logical to get them to see logic so that everything is resolved that's like struggling harder in the quicksand and thinking that you're actually helping yourself so it's time to stop stop falling for those strategies and start engaging in strategies of your own strategies that are designed to help you to stay grounded to help you to make sure that you continue to be you despite provocation strategies that help you to feel like you're in emotional control of yourself despite having somebody trying to push you over the edge emotionally okay these are eight statements that you can say at any given time when you sense a drama battle coming on let's talk about them let's say you're trying to make a point to the narcissist and they don't validate you but rather they blame shift they accuse you of something rather than try to convince them that they're wrong you can say something like you're allowed to feel that way or thank you for letting me know how you feel and then stay focused on your point after using this line when the narcissist starts to blame shift simply say something like well I just wanted you to know how I feel the temptation is to make sure that they know to make sure that they get you but they won't they know that you want that so they will do what narcissus do they will give you the opposite of what you want but since we need to express ourselves say well I just wanted you to know how I felt that's it and the conversation if the narcissist is going on and on about something and they're completely false they're saying things that are just ridiculous that have nothing to do with anything you can simply say I hear you thank you for expressing your viewpoint and that's it by saying that you are not agreeing with their viewpoint by saying that you are not discrediting your own viewpoint but you are releasing the urge the need to somehow have the same viewpoint as the narcissist which will never happen when the narcissist name calls and they do and they will some more covertly some more overtly when they say something that's painful to you you are such a selfish person all you think about is yourself you are so cruel you're the one that's causing all the problems this family would be happy if it wasn't for you no matter what they're projecting into you no matter what they're accusing you of rather than step into that quicksand of trying to help them to see that that's false remember you don't need their stamp of approval to hold on to your reality so an awesome statement to say is I'm sorry you feel that way you are such an evil person the narcissist says to me I'm sorry you feel that way I can't tell you how empowering it is to answer a narcissist like that because when you do that you are not absorbing their insult you are recognizing that it is an insult because hello we're not stupid right but you're noticing it and you're noticing that it's their thought and that it has nothing to do with how you see things when you say that mom sorry you feel that way you're also helping your mind to see that it is not your responsibility to convince them of the truth especially when you know that you could have all the evidence in the world and they will never see the truth they will run from the truth because they don't really want the truth when you accept that you say that statement I'm sorry you feel that way and you will feel so grounded if you're handling things like this if you're putting into practice these strategies you're gonna feel calm you're gonna feel together and your thinking ability is going to be clear when we've been arguing and spinning in conversations with narcissists spinning and spinning and spinning it's almost like we think we're losing our mind right but when we have these strategies and we actually are enforcing them or putting them into practice we have a lot of mental clarity we feel very together when we feel that way something interesting happens you know how I always talk about how when we start losing our emotional control when we start to get exasperated frustrated angry emotional the more we get like that the calmer the narcissist is right well the opposite is true as well the calmer we are the more in control we are the narcissus is going to get angrier so with that said I want you to know that these strategies are not to make the narcissist happy my goal in life is not to help you to make a narcissist happy my goal is to help you be happy help you be the best you that you can be and these strategies will help but they cause the narcissist extreme distress because you are no longer carrying their pathology they are not able to put in you who they are those statements are meant to keep the narcissist as the narcissist and you as you and they don't like that so be prepared for that if the narcissist begins to disagree with you and make you feel like your reality cannot be true unless you have their stamp of approval rather than over-explaining resist the urge to over explain you simply say I agree to disagree or I choose to see things differently they will be in shock that you respond that way because they have trained you to think that you have to think like them they have enmeshed you you think that you have to have the same thoughts you have to have the same viewpoint you may not realize that that's how you think or that's how you feel but every time you feel like you have to over explain to somebody that's denying you your view and your reality it's because you think that you need them to agree with you that's their lie that they have they they have lied and convinced you on a subconscious level that you cannot feel a certain way unless they agree once you realize that it breaks you free of trying to over explain of trying to get through of trying to have a logical conversation with an illogical person you you're free of those traps and you're able to be you I challenge you anyone that's still in the relationship put it into practice those that are out of the relationship did any of these strategies help you please let me know in the comment section below

Channel: Michele Lee Nieves Coaching

Views: 598,262

Rating: 4.8903389 out of 5

Keywords: 7 phrases to shut down narcissists, how to outsmart narcissist, how to disarm narcissist, how narcissists argue, narcissistic abuse life coach, 5 key strategies for dealing with narcissists, how to manipulate narcissist, narcissistic abuse recovery, how narcissists communicate, how toxic people manipulate, healing narcissistic abuse, how to deal with malignant narcissist, outsmart covert narcissist, life coach from surviving to thriving, stop narcissistic supply, healing cptsd

Id: osXapUFrcv8

Length: 8min 17sec (497 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 14 2019